Beneath the... (Chapter 24)
Title: Beneath the…
Rating: R for scene.
Characters: OT5 (All Arashi members as brothers)
Genre: AU, drama, family, angst
Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine~
Summary: 2 years ago Osayama Satoshi was involved in a terrible accident that made him lost partial of his memories. Even though he survived the impact, he becomes mentally incapable and has to depend on his younger brothers to lead normal life. What he didn’t expect when waking up though was to find all his once caring brothers had turned into people who were completely different from his memory. Sho has changed into a hot-tempered workaholic, Kazunari becomes an introvert who refuses to talk with anyone, and Jun drowns himself in party, alcohol and women every single night. To make it even confusing, nobody in the house is allowed to speak about Masaki who for some unknown reasons has disappeared without a trace.
Will Satoshi find the answer he is seeking for in the end? Or something…is actually is hidden beneath the mess?
A/N: Their surname is Osayama. Un-betaed!
Chapter 24 : Beneath the memories
“Masaki?”
Surprised, Masaki gasps and stops his movement. The heartbroken man stays on his position for a while, not quite convinced if what he just heard is real or not. Yet, when he notices footsteps sound are coming from the corridor behind him, he quickly turns to the doorstep where he finds Jun is looking at him worriedly. To his another great surprise, Satoshi and Kazu are already standing there as well, both have the same anxious expression as the youngest brother's.
“Ma-saki?”
Seeing the older man’s teary eyes clenches his heart. The thought of how much he will probably hurt the only loveable blood-related family he has left makes the decision even harder for him, but he is determined to put an end to all their misery. Their conflict after all started because of a dirty plan between his mother and his real father. Otherwise, Sho, Kazu, Jun, and even their father will not have to go through those traumatizing experience and lead a peaceful and happy life unlike now. And probably, he will not end up causing the incident at the company two years ago as well since the reason why he turned his back on Sho was because he couldn’t handle the painful revelation that his mother told him.
When Jun suddenly walks closer to look at the stuff that he has gathered to be taken to the garbage place later, he quickly hides everything behind him. Jun however has long comes to notice about the presence of old photo albums among the stuck up books which Masaki used to treasure it very much. The realization of how determines the slightly older man is with his decision to the point of wanting to destroy every proof about them saddens him, but he tries to hide it by acting normally instead.
“What are you doing here?”
Despite actually more than aware what Masaki is planning to do, he pretends like he isn’t as he approaches the teary-eyed man on the floor. When he kneels in front of the slightly older man later, he almost instantly notices how stiff the other one suddenly becomes as if he has turned to a stranger for him.
“I-It’s been a while since I come back here, s-so I thought I should clean up everything. Y-You guys must be already thinking h-how bothersome to keep all these w-when you guys can use this room f-for other purpose. I d-don't mind if you want t-to get rid of all these s-stuff earlier actually. I-It’s not like I'm a-around anyway.”
“We didn’t do that because we are waiting for you to come back here. What else do you think the reason is?”
Masaki just chews his lower lip to hear that. Jun on the other hand can’t help from sighing when see the reaction.
“Didn’t we already say this house is yours too when we met before? Why would we say that if we thought having your stuff in your own room is bothering us? This place belongs to you too, Masaki. You’re still part of this family no matter what had happened.”
The teary-eyed man remains quiet as he fumbles on the cloth he is holding. Kazu who hasn’t said a word yet on the other hand immediately moves closer due to Masaki's lack of reaction. The entire situation really reminds him with the two years ago incident when he had to witness Masaki left the house after Sho warned him to never show his face in front of them again. He still regrets it until now for following the two elder brothers’ words. He regrets it for standing still like a coward at that time when he at least can defend Masaki from Sho’s venom-like words. That is why this time, he knows it is his opportunity to finally redeem his mistake. He realizes this must be second chance for him to fix up everything and makes Masaki to stay with them again.
“Takayama told us why you asked him to empty your schedule until this afternoon. Are you planning to destroy everything you have in here and leave without a word like you did before?”
The guess seemingly hit right on mark when he sees Masaki winces. The dim look that the slightly older man already has - probably due to the mention of past which reminds him with several unpleasant memories - makes Kazu feels guilty for being a part of the reason of the latter’s pain. Yet, instead of being ‘considerate’ to the other one’s feelings by keeping everything he wants to say like he always did before, he had learnt that it will never be a good decision to make in the end. After all, that attitude is the main reason why their family begins to crumble from the first place.
“Is everything we have shared and experienced together holds no meaning for you just because we’re not related by blood? Are we that unimportant to you anymore? I’m not sure about you, but none of us actually mind who your father is. As long as you're our Masaki, we don’t care if your blood is different from us .”
The crying man instantly lifts his face by that, not expecting the younger man to talk about the taboo topic in front of the other brothers. Much to his surprise however, neither Satoshi nor Jun show any hint of shocked or puzzled by it. The eldest among them even steps closer toward him as the first teardrop makes its way down to his face.
“Ma-saki… You don-t ha-ve to lea-ve… It-s o-kay to ha-ve a dif-fere-nt fa-ther. I ha-ve it too, re-mem-ber? Al-so, Ka-zu and Jun al-ready sa-id that they ne-ver mind a-bout it. No-thing will cha-nge us be-cause of who our mo-ther and fa-ther are.”
Jun already nods to show that he agrees with that statement. Yet, that doesn't make Masaki to feel better at all. Shame and disappointment toward his own existence has long rooted inside for having such greedy and selfish parents as his biological father and mother, what more when those two are the reason why the brothers' childhood were destroyed. The thought of how much he resembles his mother for destroying Sho’s trust like what she had done to her ex-husband long time ago just makes him tear up even more to the point of trembling. His lack of response however saddens Satoshi who misunderstands that the younger brother is really bothered by the fact that he actually has a different father from them. By the time the mentally incapable man starts to sob until he is shaking hard, Kazu hurries to the eldest one's side to calm him down. Yet, despite seeing how much he had hurt Satoshi with his cold behaviour, Masaki still chooses to not say anything until it makes Kazu loses his temper.
“Why are you always this passive? Say something or nobody will know what is bothering you!”
The voice raise makes Masaki jumps a little. Instead of saying something back though, the silent man just chews his lower lip and continues to clear up his stuff. That action turns Kazu even madder until he nearly screams if not because Jun is quick enough to cut in by closing Masaki’s bag, so he can have the teary-eyed man's full attention on him again.
“Let’s talk first, okay? Don’t rush your decision like this.”
To his relief, Masaki does listen and put the clothes he is holding on his lap. Yet, he doesn't expect to hear what is coming next.
“...I-I’m not rushing. I-I’ve decided to do this…after you guys told me that you k-kep this room the way it was. I-I think…if it remains t-this way, it will be h-harder for you guys to l-let the past go. T-That’s why I came up w-with this decision. I believe...i-it’s time for us to m-move on to separate ways.”
The last one makes Satoshi to cry harder. Wanting to avoid from turning the situation even more difficult for them, Masaki on the other hand tries his best to restrain himself from sobbing as he talks again.
“I-I can’t stand it a-anymore. I f-feel like I-I don’t belong t-to anywhere. This…i-is the only p-place I have left, b-but the sins that my parents a-and I h-have caused to this f-family is too much that i-it’s killing me inside. I-It embarrasses me j-just from thinking h-how much you g-guys are s-suffering because of us. B-But…that doesn’t m-mean I want to be their heir t-too. I’m tired of being p-pestered like that o-only because I’m t-the last resort. T-That's why it is better i-if I stay away from e-everything and e-everyone after t-this. N-Nobody will be hurt l-like that...”
He then tries to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand though to no avail. When Kazu says that he is not at fault on that matter since it was actually his parents' wrongdoing, Masaki just weakly shakes his head instead.
“Y-You won’t get how I feel t-to be the lovechild of m-my mother’s affair. T-The humiliation…t-the pain…t-the confusion of what you’re a-actual status is… W-Which your real family is… W-What even the point of you e-existing if you’re a-actually unwanted by your r-real parents…and in the e-end being disowned by the person who t-took care of you f-for this entire time b-because I’m the result of my own mother’s l-liaison... T-That’s why when Jun a-asked me to give him advice a-about his problem, I-I said I can’t. I-I’m afraid I’ll be b-biased toward the c-child because I know w-what the child will go t-through one day w-with all the confusions and p-pain… But t-thankfully, neither you n-nor she is currently in relationship, right?”
Noticing Masaki’s red teary eyes already on him now, Jun just quietly shakes his head. It takes a while before Masaki can finally catch his breath properly again though his piling up emotions are still threatening to escape again from time to time. Yet, he somehow manages to keep everything inside as he forces himself to continue.
“A-And…I hate m-myself for d-destroying Sho l-like that. I did…e-exactly the same m-mistake with what m-my mother had d-done to you g-guys' father before. I-I destroyed Sho’s t-trust on me, but I-I swear I never have a-any intention to betray h-him. A-Actually, at that time...I-I was really worried that I will e-end up to disappoint S-Sho, so I a-asked…T-Togawa-san to check the calculation for me...because I c-can't longer t-think straight after mother told w-who I really am. I-I think...that's why karma g-got me back for t-taking Sho's trust l-lightly.”
Masaki grits his teeth as he tries hard not to break down even more. His entire being already trembles as he drops his teary gaze to his lap, feeling too ashamed to even lift his face and sees the disappointed expression that the three brothers might already show.
“S-Serve me right… I-I deserve to be h-hated by Sho. F-Father was right. The t-traitor’s blood really f-flow in me. I-I’m such a s-shame. A disgrace…”
“That’s not true.” Jun however was ignored by the older man who quickly wipes his tears away and resumes to shoves his clothes into his bag. Even when he grabs the latter’s hand to stop him from packing his stuff, the feeling of Masaki’s cold and shaking hand against his makes him still. It clenches his heart sadly when Masaki returns his hold with a light squeezes later before gently pulling away with dim expression.
“..I-I’m sorry f-for leaving like t-this. I-I’m sorry for e-everything I’ve done…and e-everything you have t-to go through b-because of me and m-my parents. P-Please tell S-Sho that I-I’m really s-sorry for w-what I had done t-to him too. I-I regret it a lot. I-If I can t-turn back time…I swear I w-won't repeat it.”
“You’ve done nothing wrong, Masaki. It’s not like we have control on what our parents did. You never want all those things to happen to Sho and the company, right?”
“But t-that d-doesn’t change the t-truth that they are still my p-parents. I’m obliged to t-take responsibility on behalf o-of their...f-fault. A-And what had happened t-to Sho and the company now…is actually the c-consequences of my p-poor decision. I-I was the one w-who was w-wrong on that.”
Even though Jun already opens his mouth to oppose it, his voice stuck by the small bitter smile that Masaki shows to them. The determination that reflects on the teary eyes sends a cold shiver to his spine, what more when Masaki suddenly gets up and put the remaining things in the room into the garbage bag regardless how expensive or memorable it is. Masaki’s lack of hesitation breaks Satoshi even more that he immediately gets up and clings on the younger man’s arm to stop him. The sight of he is crying so hard while begging desperately for Masaki to stay with them make both Kazu and Jun to tear up themselves as they are torn between persuading the eldest brother to let go of Masaki or let him be since who knows if the older man is the only capable one to make Masaki changes his mind. Yet, much to their despair in the end, Masaki just pulls the older man into a hug while saying that he won’t be alone at all since there will be Sho, Kazu, and Jun there to look after him. The heartbreaking moment between the half-brother clench Kazu and Jun’s heart who already start to cry themselves as they watch helplessly from aside when Satoshi continues to refuse to listen to Masaki’s words. When the scene becomes too much to endure for him, Kazu immediately turns around to wipe his tears while muttering angrily.
“I swear I’m going to kick Sho after this.”
Jun who overheard it grits his teeth hard. After Takayama told them in hospital before about Masaki’s actual plan to burn his old stuff, all the three of them agreed to rush home and stop the other one before it is too late. Only Sho remained unresponsive as he neither support nor reject the idea and just focus on the documents that his secretary had brought there for him to sign. The lack of consideration surprised even Takayama himself who look troubled with his superior’s decision, what more since it was him who said those documents need to be settled by today before. Despite their effort to make the second brother come with them even for a short time just to show that he is neutral with Masaki’s return, the young CEO ignores it completely. They tried everything they can to reassure the latter that he will come back to the hospital before the staff notices it, but the egoistic man refused to listen as he even asked his secretary to explain the situation in the company instead. The lack of empathy became their breaking point as all of them then altogether stormed out of the ward and left Sho alone dealing with the company's matters that he always obsesses so much.
Soon, Satoshi’s loud sobs has turned to soft sniffs. It is heartbreaking to see the crying Masaki still can smile in the midst of his tears as he whispers something to his older brother who immediately looks up from hiding his face on the younger man’s shoulder. When Masaki finally pull away from the hug later, the eldest brother doesn’t refuse it anymore though he still clings on Masaki who continues to walk inside there to pick up his remaining stuff. The realization of how strong Masaki is with his decison make Kazu and Jun swallow hardly down as they come closer to the man who unexpectedly smiles at them.
“I promise I-I’ll do as much as I can to gather proofs about the directors’ w-wrongdoing on the company. T-This is the only way I have to redeem all my mistakes on S-Sho. I promise I-I won’t show up in front of him and you guys e-ever after that.”
“But Masaki, this is not the solution. If you don’t want to stay here, then at least let’s meet outside sometimes. There should be no refrain for us to stay in contact with each other.”
“S-Sho will not like the idea. He said he doesn’t want to see m-me around anymore, right? Then, let’s just do it that way. T-This is for the best of his h-health too. We c-can’t let him fall sick a-again.”
“Then that's only applied for him. There shouldn’t be any restrain for us.”
“Sho m-might turn to his old self again i-if he finds out you guys are still in c-contact with me. He’s definitely n-not going to stay quiet about it."
That makes the three brothers orn between prioritizing Sho’s health or force Masaki to stay with them regardless whatever it takes. By the time the usually cheerful man wants to drag his garbage bag toward the door, Kazu quickly grabs his arm to stop him.
“I know the current situation is hard for you, Masaki. I know…you’re suffering because of our past, but that doesn’t change the fact you’re still a part of Osayama family. Just screw our parents. They don’t actually care about us from the first place, so don’t believe whatever nasty things father had said to you. And...father actually had an affair during his marriage with Jun and my mother too, so he has no right to judge other people. Any child should never be at fault for their parents’ wrongdoing.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that I didn't listen to Sho...”
“But it’s understandable, Masaki. You’re not in the right state after the revelation. Nobody can remain strong in such horrible situation.”
Already loss for words, Masaki just clamps his lips tightly together.
“I can’t agree with your decision, Masaki. I’m really sorry for not defending you from Sho back then, but it really wasn’t because I was disappointed with you. No matter what Sho thinks about you at that time or even now, you’re still our brother. We need you to be here. We always consider you as one of us and that fact will never change.”
Tears start to resurface on Masaki’s eyes by the firm tone. Realizing that he will have a mental break down if he speaks even a single word at this moment, he just grits his teeth harder. Just then, all of them are startled by sound of a door being slammed close from downstairs. Everyone immediately turns to the corridor when they later hear hurried footsteps are coming there before it suddenly stops when it almost reaches the doorstep. After several seconds of silence, they finally hear sighing sound comes from the other side of the wall before that person eventually reveals himself to them. Not expecting it will be the second brother out of all people, Satoshi, Kazu, and Jun immediately still due to surprise.
“S-Sho? We thought you’re not going to come here.”
Instead of saying anything Sho just steps further inside with unreadable expression. Already too shock by the latter's presence there, Masaki at the same time remains motionless until the other man stops right in front of him. Before the young CEO manages to say anything to him though, the crying man already drops to his four.
“I’m sorry. I-I’m really sorry.”
When Masaki bows his head really low until it nearly touches the floor, Sho immediately steps aback due to surprise. The merely spontaneous reaction however was misunderstood by the crying man who thought the man in front despises him so much to the point of wanting to avoid any form of contact. Though hurt by the action, Masaki ignores his own feelings by reminding himself that he had done something even worst to Sho before.
“I-I know I don’t d-seserve your f-forgiveness. But please b-believe that I-I will never h-have a thought of b-betraying you. I w-would never d-do something like that t-to you. T-Trust me o-only that, p-please…” his voice nearly breaks when the guilt and shame are growing too heavy to carry on him anymore. He doesn’t care how pitiful he currently looks in front of the others as he continues to beg at Sho until he has difficulty to breath due to his uncontrollable emotions. Later when he feels someone's hand on his shoulder, he finally realizes the reason behind Sho’s lack of response on him. Immediately, he lifts his messy with tears face as he panicky apologizes.
“I-I’m s-sorry. I-I’d promised that I-I won’t s-show up i-in front o-of you, r-right? P-Please g-give me j-just a little t-time. I-I’ll finish t-this right away-” he continues to babble everything that comes across his head as Sho's warning to never show his face in front of them fills every inch of his head. Yet, just when he is about to get up and find for his bag, a pair of hands suddenly grab his shoulders and make him sit down back. Due to his blurry sight, he couldn’t clearly see what is happening around him before, but now he finally realizes that the one who is kneeling in front him is no other but Sho himself.
“Listen, Masaki.”
The fact that the third brother's name finally leaves Sho's mouth after a very long time stun Kazu and Jun more than ever. Masaki himself already widens his eyes due to disbelieve, what more when it finally soaks into him that it is Sho's hands which are touching his shoulders now.
“I’m…really sorry too.”
Not quite understand why Sho is apologizing to him instead, Masaki wants to object it. Yet, Sho quickly continues before he can say anything.
“Kazu...already told us about what had happened two years ago. And I just asked Takayama to explain to me about the real story behind the incident two years ago. He already told everything to me and...I’ve thinking to myself about it. ”
Sho then let out a heavy sigh, seemingly absorb by something in his mind. Satoshi, Kazu, and Jun who are watching from the side on the other hand immediately turn to each other when hear that, finally fully understand the reason why Sho neither agree nor refuse their plead to come along with them in the ward before.
“You know…when I find out you didn’t listen to my order before, I just lost it. I’d enough of everything. Out of all people I don't want that to happen, why must it be…you?”
The last word was spoken with broken voice that it just makes Masaki to chew his trembling lower lip. He wants to bow and apologize again, but Sho grips him hard on his place.
“I admit...I’ve trusting issue after that. I can’t leave important task to anyone, especially to the accountancy department. I was really afraid if the same thing will...repeat. But when Kazu told the reason why you turned like that this morning…I’m speechless. I guess...the reason why you couldn’t focus on the report anymore...was because you’re bothered by your mother’s story. And the reason why you didn’t want to let me see your email with LAB before...was because you don’t want me to know that you’re not actually blood-related to me, right?”
Though clearly ashamed with the humiliating truth, Masaki still nods. He can’t bring himself to raise his face anymore as he cries harder despite Sho’s gentle pat on him. Until now, he doesn’t know how he survives the hellish one week he had through before, starting from his mother’s revelation, the fake errors and email that had been announced to be his wrongdoings, their father disowned him, and finally, Sho’s outburst both at the company and home. He even had to live like a stray cat on the road for a few days since he had no idea how he should continue with his ruined life from that point. Just remembering those painful memories enough to make him break down again if not because Sho starts to talk again.
“I thought for this entire time…I was the only one who was hurt badly by the damage. I don’t mind really much about the company’s loss, but I can’t afford it to believe that you turn your back on me. But...after hearing the truth from everyone…I feel so ashamed with myself. You never had it easy too, Masaki. Yet, you still can handle those bad experiences much better than me.”
Masaki immediately shakes his head to oppose it. When Sho tightens his grips to show that he really meant his words, the other three standing men can't help from grinning widely due to relief. Witnessing how calm and collected the older man is like a good elder brother he was make them so happy for Masaki.
“I realize that what you happened to you before was actually a combination of wrong decision and wrong timing. And it wasn’t your entire fault from the first place. Takayama was right...when he told me that we actually didn’t investigate your case properly. I was too absorbed with my anger and failed to realize that the directors actually wanted you to be kicked out earlier. And I’m really sorry about that.”
Masaki starts to sob by the sincere apologize. He tries to hold his voice when everything grows too overwhelmed to bear, but Sho’s sudden embrace snaps the last string he has. Almost instantly, he returns the hug as he buries his face on the second brother’s shoulder while apologize repeatedly. Trying to avoid from tearing up himself, Sho just chuckles in return as he admits that he didn’t actually mean his cold behavior after the third brother decides to return there. Later, when Masaki finally pulls away with snot already drips from his nose, Sho playfully scolds him to clean it up. Seeing the warm atmosphere that he has been longing for years has finally returned, Satoshi can't longer hold his happy tears from falling as he shouts aloud.
“Fa-mily hug!” the childlike man then runs to hug Masaki from behind. That action makes the younger man laughs in the midst of his happy tears while Sho in front just smile by the comical scene. Later when the eldest brother insists Kazu and Jun to join in, the fourth brother immediately fakes his irritation though still obeys to the grinning Jun who already pushes him from behind to approach the hugging brothers.
In the end however, the five of them erupt with laughter once realize how gross their position actually is as grown-up adults.
***
More than one week has passed since the five brothers have heart-to-heart talk and things are slowly returning to the old time with teases and laughter can be heard everywhere. Today, however, all the elder brothers have their attention solely on the youngest one who looks very nervous since yesterday after eventually received a call from his now offically fiancee, telling him that her mother wants to have a proper talk about their wedding and future plan. Although she already said it will only be a casual conversation so their family will know more about each other, Jun is determined to properly ask the mother for her permission to entrust her daughter to him. Of course, doing it on his own without any mental support will literally give anxiety break down, so Sho agreed to come along since the second brother is a very good spokesperson himself.
One hour before the meeting time, Jun can’t longer sit still and keeps on wandering to everywhere he can while repeatedly looking at his watch. He already finished styling his appearance and Sho’s a few hour ago, so there is nothing much else to do except for waiting until the time for them to get on move. Sho at the same time has long dozing off on the couch since he was forced to wake up early by the youngest brother who says he can't trust the older man's fashion sense. Masaki who was asked to drive them until there on the other hand is checking some important files next to Kazu who is playing his game console which is connected to the television. Witnessing the positive changes in front him makes a very wide grin appears on Satoshi’s face since that was what he had been praying badly for to happen after he woke up on the hospital bed two years ago. Happy tears begin to resurface on his eyes before he realizes it by that thought before Jun’s voice surprise all of them there.
“I can’t stay here anymore! My heart can’t take it!” the youngest brother then rushes into the kitchen to get some water. It's such a relief to see the younger one eventually quits drinking and partying after he decides to solely focus on his wedding and his fiancee’s pregnancy. Maybe, the entire conflict wasn’t entirely a bad thing if they thought from the perspective of the outcome instead.
“Should we leave then? We can wait in the car until the meeting time.”
As soon as hearing Jun’s ‘Yes’ from inside the kitchen, Masaki immediately closes the files he is reading and moves to wake Sho up. The previously wasn’t in good term brothers are slowly growing closer lately, just like how they used to be before. Sho even asked Masaki to move in with them again just a few days ago as he said it will be easier for them to discuss anything about the company though in actual truth, all the brothers already know that he is too embarrassed to say that he wants Masaki to live with them again. Nevertheless, the effort to fix their relationship is still there and everyone knows that it will be a matter of time before the two men return to their old silly selves.
.
Later when Sho, Masaki, and Jun make their way to the garage where the car is, both Satoshi and Kazu immediately come to send them off from the doorstep. The eldest and the fourth brothers then wish their luck to the youngest brother who nods determinedly back despite his obvious stiffness. Sho who notices that on the other hand can’t help from smiling as he pats the younger man on shoulder.
“Chill. I’ll cover you up if anything happens.”
Jun immediately turns to him by that and nods when meet the reassuring looks. Watching how all his brothers are cheering for him just boost his spirit even more to do everything properly during the family meeting.
Later, after seeing the three men off until they fully disappear from their view, Satoshi and Kazu finally return to inside and close the door. Instead of resume playing his game though, the fourth brother suddenly smiles and rushes into the kitchen. Satoshi who is confused by the weird behavior immediately runs to follow the younger man from behind, but is left dumbfounded when see the latter begins to check for something in the cabinet and refrigerator.
“Wha-t are yo-u do-ing?”
“You know, Nii-san. I was thinking if we should cook something as a surprise to celebrate them.”
A wide grin immediately appears on Satoshi’s face by the excellent idea.
“Let-s do tha-t! I’m su-re the-y will be hap-py!”
“Go and get change then. We’ll go out and buy the ingredients.”
“How a-bout on-ly you go a-nd buy it. I can cle-an up this hou-se in tha-t mea-n time.”
“We can’t do that, Nii-san. We can’t leave you alone in this house. Remember what happened last time when you’re alone?”
“But tha-t hap-pened be-cause I was out-side! Now, I’m at ho-me! I pro-mise I’ll be just fine!” the elder brother then pouts, making the younger one to sigh heavily in return. He continues to persuade Kazu by saying that he believes it will be faster if both of them working on separate things instead of going to shop the groceries together since there is nothing much he can do anyway. It takes quite a long and endless persuasion before he finally manages to make the younger man agree though not without a firm reminder.
“Fine. But never touch the stove, gas, or any electrical stuff, got it?”
Satoshi just smilingly nods. After sending the younger man until the front door, he then excitedly runs to the living room and thinks for any house chores that he can begin with. Once remembers that it has been a while since their bathroom has been cleaned up, he immediately looks for the necessary stuff in the storage room and brings it to there. The mentally incapable man after that hums happily as he scrubs and washes every inch of the bathtub before moves to clean the floor like how he saw Jun used to do it. After turning the shower knob so the dripping water will wash away the remaining soap, he then gets up to find for the bathroom broom outside. Due to slipperiness however, he fails to keep his balance when he is about to step toward the door and falls head first on the bathtub side. The pain get even worst when he hardly landed on the wet floor later as he moans painfully by the impact. Dripping water from the shower above just makes his wound feels even more burning though he can't touch it for some reasons since his muscle refuses to move. Once he starts to have difficulty in breathing due to panic, he tries to shout for help outside though to no avail. In the end, the poor injured man has no choice but to cry his heart out as he stares helplessly at the ceiling above him. He has no idea for how long he remains lying helplessly there until numbness starts to take over his head while his muscle finally cooperates back.
Later when he finally manages to gather the last bits of his strength, he carefully pushes himself up to sit on the floor. His entire being completely soaked when he takes his time to calm down before he finally realizes how red the gathering water under him is. Still dizzy and confused by the entire situation however, the mentally incapable man fails to realize about the b as he pushes himself up by holding on the bathtub side. He nearly slips again when he got hit by another strong dizziness, but this time, he manages to find support by reaching for the nearby wall.
Train station. Crowd. Jun.
“I have a bad feeling, Nii-san. Maybe I shouldn’t go to Kyoto. Yesterday I saw Masaki met someone in that café. I think...she's your mother.”
The sudden flash stops him on his track. Closing his eyes tightly to blink that away, the injured man then slowly makes his way to outside with the support from the wall.
“Nii-san…it’s true that I met mother yesterday. But I-I didn’t realize Jun was there.”
It felt like he said something. Then, he saw Masaki forcefully smiled.
“There’s a reason why I can’t tell you now, Nii-san. I-I…I don’t know how to explain it to you, but for now, I don’t want to bother you about it. Let’s just focus on your exhibition tomorrow, okay? After that, I promise I will tell everything.”
Satoshi whines painfully when his head feel so heavy like he is going to tumble soon. By the time he finally reaches the bathroom door, he opens his eyes again though everything seems still blurry to him.
It was nearing midnight, but Sho’s name still appeared on his phone screen, over and over again. Sighing, he finally has no other choice, but to pick up the call.
“For God’s sake, Satoshi! Where are you guys now?! Just leave that *sshole alone already! I don’t f*cking care if he wanted to keep in touch with your mother, but don’t drag everyone else because of his f*king bullsh*t!!”
When he feels like he is going to fall very soon, he immediately leans on the wall beside him. Just then, something very familiar comes across his memory.
He and Kazu were standing on the roadside under the very dark sky. Through his tears, he can see younger man was staring at him with guilty with expression. He felt like he had said something, but again, he couldn’t recall it.
“I’m really sorry, Nii-san. I swear I don’t have any bad intention to hide it from you guys. I-I did that because I...really thought whoever Masaki’s real father is, it won’t make any different to us. Also…I couldn’t bring myself to ruin your image about your mother. I-I…don’t want to accuse her…”
Unfortunately, it was already much too late. Whatever Kazu told him after that just slipped from his mind due to shock from revelation he just heard. He still remembered how disorientated he was once he eventually realized that if they fail to find Masaki back, that means he is going to lose the only blood-related family he loves left. That thought made his head turned even messier since the only thing he can focus about was to find Masaki until he tripped from the roadside. Although Kazu tried to save him by reaching for his hand, everything was already too late when a bright headlight came to his direction.
And everything went black.
So that's…what actually happened…
Soon, Satoshi hears a sound from distant. Already losing too much blood from his injury however, the half unconscious man nearly falls again if not because someone is fast enough to catch him. His blurry eyesight only manages to recognize Kazu’s panic face above him before everything suddenly turns to dark and silence.
Then, his cold body turns motionless in the arms of his own brother.
***
>This is a veeeeery late post indeed. My apologize (_ _""") It became longer (7000+) than I expected. And I can't find a way to cut it shorter.
>I think you guys deserve to know something. Remember when I said that I need to run some errands lately? Actually, my family and I will depart to Mecca this Saturday, so we're very busy doing the preparation and buying needed stuff. That's why I couldn't post the lastest chapters on time like before because I really don't have much free time lately. I think the incoming final chapter won't be as long this one, but since it's getting closer with our departure date, I can't guarantee anything. But I will try to update the final chapter on Saturday. Or else...you guys will have to wait until I return in the middle September. I want to avoid that if possible >__<
>Things are getting downhill when their relationship is just starting to get better. Will Satoshi be safe? Or even if he's safe...will he stay the same?
>Thank You SO much for still following until now. I'm sorry for making you wait!
Rating: R for scene.
Characters: OT5 (All Arashi members as brothers)
Genre: AU, drama, family, angst
Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine~
Summary: 2 years ago Osayama Satoshi was involved in a terrible accident that made him lost partial of his memories. Even though he survived the impact, he becomes mentally incapable and has to depend on his younger brothers to lead normal life. What he didn’t expect when waking up though was to find all his once caring brothers had turned into people who were completely different from his memory. Sho has changed into a hot-tempered workaholic, Kazunari becomes an introvert who refuses to talk with anyone, and Jun drowns himself in party, alcohol and women every single night. To make it even confusing, nobody in the house is allowed to speak about Masaki who for some unknown reasons has disappeared without a trace.
Will Satoshi find the answer he is seeking for in the end? Or something…is actually is hidden beneath the mess?
A/N: Their surname is Osayama. Un-betaed!
Chapter 24 : Beneath the memories
“Masaki?”
Surprised, Masaki gasps and stops his movement. The heartbroken man stays on his position for a while, not quite convinced if what he just heard is real or not. Yet, when he notices footsteps sound are coming from the corridor behind him, he quickly turns to the doorstep where he finds Jun is looking at him worriedly. To his another great surprise, Satoshi and Kazu are already standing there as well, both have the same anxious expression as the youngest brother's.
“Ma-saki?”
Seeing the older man’s teary eyes clenches his heart. The thought of how much he will probably hurt the only loveable blood-related family he has left makes the decision even harder for him, but he is determined to put an end to all their misery. Their conflict after all started because of a dirty plan between his mother and his real father. Otherwise, Sho, Kazu, Jun, and even their father will not have to go through those traumatizing experience and lead a peaceful and happy life unlike now. And probably, he will not end up causing the incident at the company two years ago as well since the reason why he turned his back on Sho was because he couldn’t handle the painful revelation that his mother told him.
When Jun suddenly walks closer to look at the stuff that he has gathered to be taken to the garbage place later, he quickly hides everything behind him. Jun however has long comes to notice about the presence of old photo albums among the stuck up books which Masaki used to treasure it very much. The realization of how determines the slightly older man is with his decision to the point of wanting to destroy every proof about them saddens him, but he tries to hide it by acting normally instead.
“What are you doing here?”
Despite actually more than aware what Masaki is planning to do, he pretends like he isn’t as he approaches the teary-eyed man on the floor. When he kneels in front of the slightly older man later, he almost instantly notices how stiff the other one suddenly becomes as if he has turned to a stranger for him.
“I-It’s been a while since I come back here, s-so I thought I should clean up everything. Y-You guys must be already thinking h-how bothersome to keep all these w-when you guys can use this room f-for other purpose. I d-don't mind if you want t-to get rid of all these s-stuff earlier actually. I-It’s not like I'm a-around anyway.”
“We didn’t do that because we are waiting for you to come back here. What else do you think the reason is?”
Masaki just chews his lower lip to hear that. Jun on the other hand can’t help from sighing when see the reaction.
“Didn’t we already say this house is yours too when we met before? Why would we say that if we thought having your stuff in your own room is bothering us? This place belongs to you too, Masaki. You’re still part of this family no matter what had happened.”
The teary-eyed man remains quiet as he fumbles on the cloth he is holding. Kazu who hasn’t said a word yet on the other hand immediately moves closer due to Masaki's lack of reaction. The entire situation really reminds him with the two years ago incident when he had to witness Masaki left the house after Sho warned him to never show his face in front of them again. He still regrets it until now for following the two elder brothers’ words. He regrets it for standing still like a coward at that time when he at least can defend Masaki from Sho’s venom-like words. That is why this time, he knows it is his opportunity to finally redeem his mistake. He realizes this must be second chance for him to fix up everything and makes Masaki to stay with them again.
“Takayama told us why you asked him to empty your schedule until this afternoon. Are you planning to destroy everything you have in here and leave without a word like you did before?”
The guess seemingly hit right on mark when he sees Masaki winces. The dim look that the slightly older man already has - probably due to the mention of past which reminds him with several unpleasant memories - makes Kazu feels guilty for being a part of the reason of the latter’s pain. Yet, instead of being ‘considerate’ to the other one’s feelings by keeping everything he wants to say like he always did before, he had learnt that it will never be a good decision to make in the end. After all, that attitude is the main reason why their family begins to crumble from the first place.
“Is everything we have shared and experienced together holds no meaning for you just because we’re not related by blood? Are we that unimportant to you anymore? I’m not sure about you, but none of us actually mind who your father is. As long as you're our Masaki, we don’t care if your blood is different from us .”
The crying man instantly lifts his face by that, not expecting the younger man to talk about the taboo topic in front of the other brothers. Much to his surprise however, neither Satoshi nor Jun show any hint of shocked or puzzled by it. The eldest among them even steps closer toward him as the first teardrop makes its way down to his face.
“Ma-saki… You don-t ha-ve to lea-ve… It-s o-kay to ha-ve a dif-fere-nt fa-ther. I ha-ve it too, re-mem-ber? Al-so, Ka-zu and Jun al-ready sa-id that they ne-ver mind a-bout it. No-thing will cha-nge us be-cause of who our mo-ther and fa-ther are.”
Jun already nods to show that he agrees with that statement. Yet, that doesn't make Masaki to feel better at all. Shame and disappointment toward his own existence has long rooted inside for having such greedy and selfish parents as his biological father and mother, what more when those two are the reason why the brothers' childhood were destroyed. The thought of how much he resembles his mother for destroying Sho’s trust like what she had done to her ex-husband long time ago just makes him tear up even more to the point of trembling. His lack of response however saddens Satoshi who misunderstands that the younger brother is really bothered by the fact that he actually has a different father from them. By the time the mentally incapable man starts to sob until he is shaking hard, Kazu hurries to the eldest one's side to calm him down. Yet, despite seeing how much he had hurt Satoshi with his cold behaviour, Masaki still chooses to not say anything until it makes Kazu loses his temper.
“Why are you always this passive? Say something or nobody will know what is bothering you!”
The voice raise makes Masaki jumps a little. Instead of saying something back though, the silent man just chews his lower lip and continues to clear up his stuff. That action turns Kazu even madder until he nearly screams if not because Jun is quick enough to cut in by closing Masaki’s bag, so he can have the teary-eyed man's full attention on him again.
“Let’s talk first, okay? Don’t rush your decision like this.”
To his relief, Masaki does listen and put the clothes he is holding on his lap. Yet, he doesn't expect to hear what is coming next.
“...I-I’m not rushing. I-I’ve decided to do this…after you guys told me that you k-kep this room the way it was. I-I think…if it remains t-this way, it will be h-harder for you guys to l-let the past go. T-That’s why I came up w-with this decision. I believe...i-it’s time for us to m-move on to separate ways.”
The last one makes Satoshi to cry harder. Wanting to avoid from turning the situation even more difficult for them, Masaki on the other hand tries his best to restrain himself from sobbing as he talks again.
“I-I can’t stand it a-anymore. I f-feel like I-I don’t belong t-to anywhere. This…i-is the only p-place I have left, b-but the sins that my parents a-and I h-have caused to this f-family is too much that i-it’s killing me inside. I-It embarrasses me j-just from thinking h-how much you g-guys are s-suffering because of us. B-But…that doesn’t m-mean I want to be their heir t-too. I’m tired of being p-pestered like that o-only because I’m t-the last resort. T-That's why it is better i-if I stay away from e-everything and e-everyone after t-this. N-Nobody will be hurt l-like that...”
He then tries to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand though to no avail. When Kazu says that he is not at fault on that matter since it was actually his parents' wrongdoing, Masaki just weakly shakes his head instead.
“Y-You won’t get how I feel t-to be the lovechild of m-my mother’s affair. T-The humiliation…t-the pain…t-the confusion of what you’re a-actual status is… W-Which your real family is… W-What even the point of you e-existing if you’re a-actually unwanted by your r-real parents…and in the e-end being disowned by the person who t-took care of you f-for this entire time b-because I’m the result of my own mother’s l-liaison... T-That’s why when Jun a-asked me to give him advice a-about his problem, I-I said I can’t. I-I’m afraid I’ll be b-biased toward the c-child because I know w-what the child will go t-through one day w-with all the confusions and p-pain… But t-thankfully, neither you n-nor she is currently in relationship, right?”
Noticing Masaki’s red teary eyes already on him now, Jun just quietly shakes his head. It takes a while before Masaki can finally catch his breath properly again though his piling up emotions are still threatening to escape again from time to time. Yet, he somehow manages to keep everything inside as he forces himself to continue.
“A-And…I hate m-myself for d-destroying Sho l-like that. I did…e-exactly the same m-mistake with what m-my mother had d-done to you g-guys' father before. I-I destroyed Sho’s t-trust on me, but I-I swear I never have a-any intention to betray h-him. A-Actually, at that time...I-I was really worried that I will e-end up to disappoint S-Sho, so I a-asked…T-Togawa-san to check the calculation for me...because I c-can't longer t-think straight after mother told w-who I really am. I-I think...that's why karma g-got me back for t-taking Sho's trust l-lightly.”
Masaki grits his teeth as he tries hard not to break down even more. His entire being already trembles as he drops his teary gaze to his lap, feeling too ashamed to even lift his face and sees the disappointed expression that the three brothers might already show.
“S-Serve me right… I-I deserve to be h-hated by Sho. F-Father was right. The t-traitor’s blood really f-flow in me. I-I’m such a s-shame. A disgrace…”
“That’s not true.” Jun however was ignored by the older man who quickly wipes his tears away and resumes to shoves his clothes into his bag. Even when he grabs the latter’s hand to stop him from packing his stuff, the feeling of Masaki’s cold and shaking hand against his makes him still. It clenches his heart sadly when Masaki returns his hold with a light squeezes later before gently pulling away with dim expression.
“..I-I’m sorry f-for leaving like t-this. I-I’m sorry for e-everything I’ve done…and e-everything you have t-to go through b-because of me and m-my parents. P-Please tell S-Sho that I-I’m really s-sorry for w-what I had done t-to him too. I-I regret it a lot. I-If I can t-turn back time…I swear I w-won't repeat it.”
“You’ve done nothing wrong, Masaki. It’s not like we have control on what our parents did. You never want all those things to happen to Sho and the company, right?”
“But t-that d-doesn’t change the t-truth that they are still my p-parents. I’m obliged to t-take responsibility on behalf o-of their...f-fault. A-And what had happened t-to Sho and the company now…is actually the c-consequences of my p-poor decision. I-I was the one w-who was w-wrong on that.”
Even though Jun already opens his mouth to oppose it, his voice stuck by the small bitter smile that Masaki shows to them. The determination that reflects on the teary eyes sends a cold shiver to his spine, what more when Masaki suddenly gets up and put the remaining things in the room into the garbage bag regardless how expensive or memorable it is. Masaki’s lack of hesitation breaks Satoshi even more that he immediately gets up and clings on the younger man’s arm to stop him. The sight of he is crying so hard while begging desperately for Masaki to stay with them make both Kazu and Jun to tear up themselves as they are torn between persuading the eldest brother to let go of Masaki or let him be since who knows if the older man is the only capable one to make Masaki changes his mind. Yet, much to their despair in the end, Masaki just pulls the older man into a hug while saying that he won’t be alone at all since there will be Sho, Kazu, and Jun there to look after him. The heartbreaking moment between the half-brother clench Kazu and Jun’s heart who already start to cry themselves as they watch helplessly from aside when Satoshi continues to refuse to listen to Masaki’s words. When the scene becomes too much to endure for him, Kazu immediately turns around to wipe his tears while muttering angrily.
“I swear I’m going to kick Sho after this.”
Jun who overheard it grits his teeth hard. After Takayama told them in hospital before about Masaki’s actual plan to burn his old stuff, all the three of them agreed to rush home and stop the other one before it is too late. Only Sho remained unresponsive as he neither support nor reject the idea and just focus on the documents that his secretary had brought there for him to sign. The lack of consideration surprised even Takayama himself who look troubled with his superior’s decision, what more since it was him who said those documents need to be settled by today before. Despite their effort to make the second brother come with them even for a short time just to show that he is neutral with Masaki’s return, the young CEO ignores it completely. They tried everything they can to reassure the latter that he will come back to the hospital before the staff notices it, but the egoistic man refused to listen as he even asked his secretary to explain the situation in the company instead. The lack of empathy became their breaking point as all of them then altogether stormed out of the ward and left Sho alone dealing with the company's matters that he always obsesses so much.
Soon, Satoshi’s loud sobs has turned to soft sniffs. It is heartbreaking to see the crying Masaki still can smile in the midst of his tears as he whispers something to his older brother who immediately looks up from hiding his face on the younger man’s shoulder. When Masaki finally pull away from the hug later, the eldest brother doesn’t refuse it anymore though he still clings on Masaki who continues to walk inside there to pick up his remaining stuff. The realization of how strong Masaki is with his decison make Kazu and Jun swallow hardly down as they come closer to the man who unexpectedly smiles at them.
“I promise I-I’ll do as much as I can to gather proofs about the directors’ w-wrongdoing on the company. T-This is the only way I have to redeem all my mistakes on S-Sho. I promise I-I won’t show up in front of him and you guys e-ever after that.”
“But Masaki, this is not the solution. If you don’t want to stay here, then at least let’s meet outside sometimes. There should be no refrain for us to stay in contact with each other.”
“S-Sho will not like the idea. He said he doesn’t want to see m-me around anymore, right? Then, let’s just do it that way. T-This is for the best of his h-health too. We c-can’t let him fall sick a-again.”
“Then that's only applied for him. There shouldn’t be any restrain for us.”
“Sho m-might turn to his old self again i-if he finds out you guys are still in c-contact with me. He’s definitely n-not going to stay quiet about it."
That makes the three brothers orn between prioritizing Sho’s health or force Masaki to stay with them regardless whatever it takes. By the time the usually cheerful man wants to drag his garbage bag toward the door, Kazu quickly grabs his arm to stop him.
“I know the current situation is hard for you, Masaki. I know…you’re suffering because of our past, but that doesn’t change the fact you’re still a part of Osayama family. Just screw our parents. They don’t actually care about us from the first place, so don’t believe whatever nasty things father had said to you. And...father actually had an affair during his marriage with Jun and my mother too, so he has no right to judge other people. Any child should never be at fault for their parents’ wrongdoing.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that I didn't listen to Sho...”
“But it’s understandable, Masaki. You’re not in the right state after the revelation. Nobody can remain strong in such horrible situation.”
Already loss for words, Masaki just clamps his lips tightly together.
“I can’t agree with your decision, Masaki. I’m really sorry for not defending you from Sho back then, but it really wasn’t because I was disappointed with you. No matter what Sho thinks about you at that time or even now, you’re still our brother. We need you to be here. We always consider you as one of us and that fact will never change.”
Tears start to resurface on Masaki’s eyes by the firm tone. Realizing that he will have a mental break down if he speaks even a single word at this moment, he just grits his teeth harder. Just then, all of them are startled by sound of a door being slammed close from downstairs. Everyone immediately turns to the corridor when they later hear hurried footsteps are coming there before it suddenly stops when it almost reaches the doorstep. After several seconds of silence, they finally hear sighing sound comes from the other side of the wall before that person eventually reveals himself to them. Not expecting it will be the second brother out of all people, Satoshi, Kazu, and Jun immediately still due to surprise.
“S-Sho? We thought you’re not going to come here.”
Instead of saying anything Sho just steps further inside with unreadable expression. Already too shock by the latter's presence there, Masaki at the same time remains motionless until the other man stops right in front of him. Before the young CEO manages to say anything to him though, the crying man already drops to his four.
“I’m sorry. I-I’m really sorry.”
When Masaki bows his head really low until it nearly touches the floor, Sho immediately steps aback due to surprise. The merely spontaneous reaction however was misunderstood by the crying man who thought the man in front despises him so much to the point of wanting to avoid any form of contact. Though hurt by the action, Masaki ignores his own feelings by reminding himself that he had done something even worst to Sho before.
“I-I know I don’t d-seserve your f-forgiveness. But please b-believe that I-I will never h-have a thought of b-betraying you. I w-would never d-do something like that t-to you. T-Trust me o-only that, p-please…” his voice nearly breaks when the guilt and shame are growing too heavy to carry on him anymore. He doesn’t care how pitiful he currently looks in front of the others as he continues to beg at Sho until he has difficulty to breath due to his uncontrollable emotions. Later when he feels someone's hand on his shoulder, he finally realizes the reason behind Sho’s lack of response on him. Immediately, he lifts his messy with tears face as he panicky apologizes.
“I-I’m s-sorry. I-I’d promised that I-I won’t s-show up i-in front o-of you, r-right? P-Please g-give me j-just a little t-time. I-I’ll finish t-this right away-” he continues to babble everything that comes across his head as Sho's warning to never show his face in front of them fills every inch of his head. Yet, just when he is about to get up and find for his bag, a pair of hands suddenly grab his shoulders and make him sit down back. Due to his blurry sight, he couldn’t clearly see what is happening around him before, but now he finally realizes that the one who is kneeling in front him is no other but Sho himself.
“Listen, Masaki.”
The fact that the third brother's name finally leaves Sho's mouth after a very long time stun Kazu and Jun more than ever. Masaki himself already widens his eyes due to disbelieve, what more when it finally soaks into him that it is Sho's hands which are touching his shoulders now.
“I’m…really sorry too.”
Not quite understand why Sho is apologizing to him instead, Masaki wants to object it. Yet, Sho quickly continues before he can say anything.
“Kazu...already told us about what had happened two years ago. And I just asked Takayama to explain to me about the real story behind the incident two years ago. He already told everything to me and...I’ve thinking to myself about it. ”
Sho then let out a heavy sigh, seemingly absorb by something in his mind. Satoshi, Kazu, and Jun who are watching from the side on the other hand immediately turn to each other when hear that, finally fully understand the reason why Sho neither agree nor refuse their plead to come along with them in the ward before.
“You know…when I find out you didn’t listen to my order before, I just lost it. I’d enough of everything. Out of all people I don't want that to happen, why must it be…you?”
The last word was spoken with broken voice that it just makes Masaki to chew his trembling lower lip. He wants to bow and apologize again, but Sho grips him hard on his place.
“I admit...I’ve trusting issue after that. I can’t leave important task to anyone, especially to the accountancy department. I was really afraid if the same thing will...repeat. But when Kazu told the reason why you turned like that this morning…I’m speechless. I guess...the reason why you couldn’t focus on the report anymore...was because you’re bothered by your mother’s story. And the reason why you didn’t want to let me see your email with LAB before...was because you don’t want me to know that you’re not actually blood-related to me, right?”
Though clearly ashamed with the humiliating truth, Masaki still nods. He can’t bring himself to raise his face anymore as he cries harder despite Sho’s gentle pat on him. Until now, he doesn’t know how he survives the hellish one week he had through before, starting from his mother’s revelation, the fake errors and email that had been announced to be his wrongdoings, their father disowned him, and finally, Sho’s outburst both at the company and home. He even had to live like a stray cat on the road for a few days since he had no idea how he should continue with his ruined life from that point. Just remembering those painful memories enough to make him break down again if not because Sho starts to talk again.
“I thought for this entire time…I was the only one who was hurt badly by the damage. I don’t mind really much about the company’s loss, but I can’t afford it to believe that you turn your back on me. But...after hearing the truth from everyone…I feel so ashamed with myself. You never had it easy too, Masaki. Yet, you still can handle those bad experiences much better than me.”
Masaki immediately shakes his head to oppose it. When Sho tightens his grips to show that he really meant his words, the other three standing men can't help from grinning widely due to relief. Witnessing how calm and collected the older man is like a good elder brother he was make them so happy for Masaki.
“I realize that what you happened to you before was actually a combination of wrong decision and wrong timing. And it wasn’t your entire fault from the first place. Takayama was right...when he told me that we actually didn’t investigate your case properly. I was too absorbed with my anger and failed to realize that the directors actually wanted you to be kicked out earlier. And I’m really sorry about that.”
Masaki starts to sob by the sincere apologize. He tries to hold his voice when everything grows too overwhelmed to bear, but Sho’s sudden embrace snaps the last string he has. Almost instantly, he returns the hug as he buries his face on the second brother’s shoulder while apologize repeatedly. Trying to avoid from tearing up himself, Sho just chuckles in return as he admits that he didn’t actually mean his cold behavior after the third brother decides to return there. Later, when Masaki finally pulls away with snot already drips from his nose, Sho playfully scolds him to clean it up. Seeing the warm atmosphere that he has been longing for years has finally returned, Satoshi can't longer hold his happy tears from falling as he shouts aloud.
“Fa-mily hug!” the childlike man then runs to hug Masaki from behind. That action makes the younger man laughs in the midst of his happy tears while Sho in front just smile by the comical scene. Later when the eldest brother insists Kazu and Jun to join in, the fourth brother immediately fakes his irritation though still obeys to the grinning Jun who already pushes him from behind to approach the hugging brothers.
In the end however, the five of them erupt with laughter once realize how gross their position actually is as grown-up adults.
***
More than one week has passed since the five brothers have heart-to-heart talk and things are slowly returning to the old time with teases and laughter can be heard everywhere. Today, however, all the elder brothers have their attention solely on the youngest one who looks very nervous since yesterday after eventually received a call from his now offically fiancee, telling him that her mother wants to have a proper talk about their wedding and future plan. Although she already said it will only be a casual conversation so their family will know more about each other, Jun is determined to properly ask the mother for her permission to entrust her daughter to him. Of course, doing it on his own without any mental support will literally give anxiety break down, so Sho agreed to come along since the second brother is a very good spokesperson himself.
One hour before the meeting time, Jun can’t longer sit still and keeps on wandering to everywhere he can while repeatedly looking at his watch. He already finished styling his appearance and Sho’s a few hour ago, so there is nothing much else to do except for waiting until the time for them to get on move. Sho at the same time has long dozing off on the couch since he was forced to wake up early by the youngest brother who says he can't trust the older man's fashion sense. Masaki who was asked to drive them until there on the other hand is checking some important files next to Kazu who is playing his game console which is connected to the television. Witnessing the positive changes in front him makes a very wide grin appears on Satoshi’s face since that was what he had been praying badly for to happen after he woke up on the hospital bed two years ago. Happy tears begin to resurface on his eyes before he realizes it by that thought before Jun’s voice surprise all of them there.
“I can’t stay here anymore! My heart can’t take it!” the youngest brother then rushes into the kitchen to get some water. It's such a relief to see the younger one eventually quits drinking and partying after he decides to solely focus on his wedding and his fiancee’s pregnancy. Maybe, the entire conflict wasn’t entirely a bad thing if they thought from the perspective of the outcome instead.
“Should we leave then? We can wait in the car until the meeting time.”
As soon as hearing Jun’s ‘Yes’ from inside the kitchen, Masaki immediately closes the files he is reading and moves to wake Sho up. The previously wasn’t in good term brothers are slowly growing closer lately, just like how they used to be before. Sho even asked Masaki to move in with them again just a few days ago as he said it will be easier for them to discuss anything about the company though in actual truth, all the brothers already know that he is too embarrassed to say that he wants Masaki to live with them again. Nevertheless, the effort to fix their relationship is still there and everyone knows that it will be a matter of time before the two men return to their old silly selves.
.
Later when Sho, Masaki, and Jun make their way to the garage where the car is, both Satoshi and Kazu immediately come to send them off from the doorstep. The eldest and the fourth brothers then wish their luck to the youngest brother who nods determinedly back despite his obvious stiffness. Sho who notices that on the other hand can’t help from smiling as he pats the younger man on shoulder.
“Chill. I’ll cover you up if anything happens.”
Jun immediately turns to him by that and nods when meet the reassuring looks. Watching how all his brothers are cheering for him just boost his spirit even more to do everything properly during the family meeting.
Later, after seeing the three men off until they fully disappear from their view, Satoshi and Kazu finally return to inside and close the door. Instead of resume playing his game though, the fourth brother suddenly smiles and rushes into the kitchen. Satoshi who is confused by the weird behavior immediately runs to follow the younger man from behind, but is left dumbfounded when see the latter begins to check for something in the cabinet and refrigerator.
“Wha-t are yo-u do-ing?”
“You know, Nii-san. I was thinking if we should cook something as a surprise to celebrate them.”
A wide grin immediately appears on Satoshi’s face by the excellent idea.
“Let-s do tha-t! I’m su-re the-y will be hap-py!”
“Go and get change then. We’ll go out and buy the ingredients.”
“How a-bout on-ly you go a-nd buy it. I can cle-an up this hou-se in tha-t mea-n time.”
“We can’t do that, Nii-san. We can’t leave you alone in this house. Remember what happened last time when you’re alone?”
“But tha-t hap-pened be-cause I was out-side! Now, I’m at ho-me! I pro-mise I’ll be just fine!” the elder brother then pouts, making the younger one to sigh heavily in return. He continues to persuade Kazu by saying that he believes it will be faster if both of them working on separate things instead of going to shop the groceries together since there is nothing much he can do anyway. It takes quite a long and endless persuasion before he finally manages to make the younger man agree though not without a firm reminder.
“Fine. But never touch the stove, gas, or any electrical stuff, got it?”
Satoshi just smilingly nods. After sending the younger man until the front door, he then excitedly runs to the living room and thinks for any house chores that he can begin with. Once remembers that it has been a while since their bathroom has been cleaned up, he immediately looks for the necessary stuff in the storage room and brings it to there. The mentally incapable man after that hums happily as he scrubs and washes every inch of the bathtub before moves to clean the floor like how he saw Jun used to do it. After turning the shower knob so the dripping water will wash away the remaining soap, he then gets up to find for the bathroom broom outside. Due to slipperiness however, he fails to keep his balance when he is about to step toward the door and falls head first on the bathtub side. The pain get even worst when he hardly landed on the wet floor later as he moans painfully by the impact. Dripping water from the shower above just makes his wound feels even more burning though he can't touch it for some reasons since his muscle refuses to move. Once he starts to have difficulty in breathing due to panic, he tries to shout for help outside though to no avail. In the end, the poor injured man has no choice but to cry his heart out as he stares helplessly at the ceiling above him. He has no idea for how long he remains lying helplessly there until numbness starts to take over his head while his muscle finally cooperates back.
Later when he finally manages to gather the last bits of his strength, he carefully pushes himself up to sit on the floor. His entire being completely soaked when he takes his time to calm down before he finally realizes how red the gathering water under him is. Still dizzy and confused by the entire situation however, the mentally incapable man fails to realize about the b as he pushes himself up by holding on the bathtub side. He nearly slips again when he got hit by another strong dizziness, but this time, he manages to find support by reaching for the nearby wall.
Train station. Crowd. Jun.
“I have a bad feeling, Nii-san. Maybe I shouldn’t go to Kyoto. Yesterday I saw Masaki met someone in that café. I think...she's your mother.”
The sudden flash stops him on his track. Closing his eyes tightly to blink that away, the injured man then slowly makes his way to outside with the support from the wall.
“Nii-san…it’s true that I met mother yesterday. But I-I didn’t realize Jun was there.”
It felt like he said something. Then, he saw Masaki forcefully smiled.
“There’s a reason why I can’t tell you now, Nii-san. I-I…I don’t know how to explain it to you, but for now, I don’t want to bother you about it. Let’s just focus on your exhibition tomorrow, okay? After that, I promise I will tell everything.”
Satoshi whines painfully when his head feel so heavy like he is going to tumble soon. By the time he finally reaches the bathroom door, he opens his eyes again though everything seems still blurry to him.
It was nearing midnight, but Sho’s name still appeared on his phone screen, over and over again. Sighing, he finally has no other choice, but to pick up the call.
“For God’s sake, Satoshi! Where are you guys now?! Just leave that *sshole alone already! I don’t f*cking care if he wanted to keep in touch with your mother, but don’t drag everyone else because of his f*king bullsh*t!!”
When he feels like he is going to fall very soon, he immediately leans on the wall beside him. Just then, something very familiar comes across his memory.
He and Kazu were standing on the roadside under the very dark sky. Through his tears, he can see younger man was staring at him with guilty with expression. He felt like he had said something, but again, he couldn’t recall it.
“I’m really sorry, Nii-san. I swear I don’t have any bad intention to hide it from you guys. I-I did that because I...really thought whoever Masaki’s real father is, it won’t make any different to us. Also…I couldn’t bring myself to ruin your image about your mother. I-I…don’t want to accuse her…”
Unfortunately, it was already much too late. Whatever Kazu told him after that just slipped from his mind due to shock from revelation he just heard. He still remembered how disorientated he was once he eventually realized that if they fail to find Masaki back, that means he is going to lose the only blood-related family he loves left. That thought made his head turned even messier since the only thing he can focus about was to find Masaki until he tripped from the roadside. Although Kazu tried to save him by reaching for his hand, everything was already too late when a bright headlight came to his direction.
And everything went black.
So that's…what actually happened…
Soon, Satoshi hears a sound from distant. Already losing too much blood from his injury however, the half unconscious man nearly falls again if not because someone is fast enough to catch him. His blurry eyesight only manages to recognize Kazu’s panic face above him before everything suddenly turns to dark and silence.
Then, his cold body turns motionless in the arms of his own brother.
***
>This is a veeeeery late post indeed. My apologize (_ _""") It became longer (7000+) than I expected. And I can't find a way to cut it shorter.
>I think you guys deserve to know something. Remember when I said that I need to run some errands lately? Actually, my family and I will depart to Mecca this Saturday, so we're very busy doing the preparation and buying needed stuff. That's why I couldn't post the lastest chapters on time like before because I really don't have much free time lately. I think the incoming final chapter won't be as long this one, but since it's getting closer with our departure date, I can't guarantee anything. But I will try to update the final chapter on Saturday. Or else...you guys will have to wait until I return in the middle September. I want to avoid that if possible >__<
>Things are getting downhill when their relationship is just starting to get better. Will Satoshi be safe? Or even if he's safe...will he stay the same?
>Thank You SO much for still following until now. I'm sorry for making you wait!