Beneath the... (Chapter 5)
Title: Beneath the…
Rating: R for 'particular' scene.
Characters: OT5 (All Arashi members as brothers)
Genre: AU, drama, family, angst
Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine~
Summary: 2 years ago Osayama Satoshi was involved in a terrible accident that made him lost partial of his memories. Even though he survived the impact, he becomes mentally incapable and has to depend on his younger brothers to lead normal life. What he didn’t expect when waking up though was to find all his once caring brothers had turned into people who were completely different from his memory. Sho has changed into a hot-tempered workaholic, Kazunari becomes an introvert who refuses to talk with anyone, and Jun drowns himself in party, alcohol and women every single night. To make it even confusing, nobody in the house is allowed to speak about Masaki who for some unknown reasons has disappeared without a trace.
Will Satoshi find the answer he is seeking for in the end? Or something…is actually is hidden beneath the mess?
A/N: Their surname is Osayama. Un-betaed!
Beneath the finest (Chapter 5)
Light rustling sound fills the quiet ward when an old man gracefully runs the pencil he is holding on a drawing paper. His expression is calm despite the obvious wrinkles that show on his face due to the combination of extreme stress and old age after over working himself since he was still in a young age. The realization that his father’s sick figure might be the reflection of someone else’s future self makes Jun who is sitting still on a chair in the middle of the room immediately drops his gaze. His sudden movement however gains displeased reaction from his father who still hasn’t finished with his drawing.
“Jun, stay still.”
The son just let out a heavy sigh. Bothered by the response, the bedridden man almost speak his thought out before a beautiful woman in her 40s who is nearly two decades younger suddenly cut in as she gently touches his shoulders.
“Be more considerate with Jun-kun, dear. It’s not easy to stay still like that for more than an hour.”
“But you can do it when you’re modeling for me, right? There should be no excuse for him.”
Realizing that she is not going to win the argument in any ways, the lady only can heavily sigh and takes her seat back on the edge of the bed. Jun at the same time just clench his fists until his hands tremble hard on his lap as he watches the woman and his father talk about whatever thing on the paper. Seeing them laughing like nothing else matter in the world crush something inside him, but he holds it back despite his already unstable emotion.
Nobody was supposed to remain in their house on that day. Since Satoshi, Sho, and Masaki were busy with their club activities while Kazu had to stay for his baseball practice, Jun had to return home alone after their father’s personal driver picked him up from school. Later, as his 9 years old self climbed up the stairs to go into his room, he was surprised by a sudden loud thud from their parents’ room. Terrified, the little boy nearly squeaked and ran away, but stopped by a muffled voice that came from inside there. His heart still thumped hard in his chest when he then heard a creak sound, followed by their father’s muffled voice.
Totally confused by the presence, the little Jun slowly tiptoed toward the source. His curiosity already took over his fear by the time he heard his father soothing tone, followed by a woman’s voice which he was more than sure wasn’t their mother’s. He knew how much their father hated it if they disturbed him except during family’s time, but Jun just couldn’t stop himself from walking closer to the master bedroom since it was very unusual for the elder man to be at home around this hour. He didn’t know how he had such bravery to shrug off the fact that he will get scolded at that time, but before he could think twice, he already timidly called for the latter. Yet, after waiting for a while and heard nothing came from inside, he frowned and finally reached for the doorknob to peek inside.
…Thinking about it now, he wished he had never opened the door back then. The obscure scene of their smiling father turned to him with unreadable expression, his pointing finger on his lips as a sign to keep quiet while an unknown woman lying beneath him on the bed froze his innocent self instantly.
It was disturbing. Blatantly sickening.
...And before he realized it, the scene had added more cracks and scratches on his already crumbled childhood.
Can’t longer keep his gaze at his now grinning father and the man's later shamelessly revealed mistress in front, Jun immediately turns to look at the window instead. That memory has become the turning point in his life to no longer believe with the ridiculous thing such as 'commitment' and 'pure love' in relationship ever. He always wonders why his father went through two divorces before - first with Satoshi and Masaki’s mother and later with Kazu and his, but after that scarred incident, he finally fully understand. Well, the answer is as clear as day after all.
Their father is actually a jerk.
“Jun, have you contacted Sho yet?”
The question brings Jun back from his thought. Emptily, he then turns to the elder one again and nods.
“Actually it’s more like Kazu told Sho for me. He didn’t pick up his phone, so I asked Kazu to deliver the message.”
The ex-CEO of one of the biggest companies in Tokyo just smilingly nods. After asking for his woman to pass him a glass of water, he put down his pencil and widely smiles.
“That boy won’t visit me unless for company’s matters. It looks like he’s working too hard to fulfill his role lately.” his supposed-to-be-sad-meaning-statement though betrayed by proud tone which clearly emphasizes the opposite feeling he clearly has. That makes Jun to grit his teeth even harder while quietly listens to their father's words.
“You inherit my personality and stoicism. Satoshi inherits my artistic passion and skill. And Kazu got the composure and the fast thinker side…though I hope that boy will stop locking himself in his room and start living his life for real. Just how long he plans to hide himself like that?”
The youngest son can feel rage build up higher inside him, both due to the heartless comment regarding Kazu and the lack of mention of Masaki’s name. He is very close to say something about it if not because his father suddenly continues.
“And Sho…how I hope he will come here more frequently just like you. He’s becoming more and more workaholic like me. Maybe a bit too much if I can say, but that only mean he is taking his responsibility seriously.”
Jun finally clicks his tongue.
“He’s going to kill someone with that level of stress one day. I would rather you hire someone to help him handle the company, father.”
“It’s not that easy, Jun. Wrong person and that company will doom. How about you give it a try and work with Sho instead?”
It only takes one angry look from Jun to make the elder man laugh due to amusement. After all, it is a well-known fact among their family members just passionate both Kazu and Jun are when it comes to chasing after their ‘real dreams’. They always say that they want to choose path which won’t let them to be led by their family’s status and that explains how he ends up working in photography field now.
“If his mother is still alive…I’m sure she will scold me for turning her son like that.”
For a split of second, Jun notices the gloom in his father’s eyes. It is very rare to hear their father touches the topic regarding Sho’s mother who is also actually the latter's first wife. From what he heard before, she died due to some complication when Sho was one year old. Then, not long after that, their father met an office lady in a formal occasion who turned out to be a divorcee with a son - Satoshi - which later ended up with them marrying each other. However, despite not being related by blood, he knows that his father still treat them all equally since the elder man seems to gladly teach everything that he knows about arts to Satoshi. Even when the couple broke up to follow their own way after Masaki was born, he doesn’t see any difference with the way their father see them. Probably that is why all the five of them are very close with each other although they were born from different mothers. And that explains why he still can stick with his father despite the elder man’s sick attitude toward his spouse and family as they grow older and older. He realizes that a deep, tiny part inside him, he actually still holds his respect and gratefulness toward their father for literally taking care of them by himself after this entire time.
“I guess this is why you’re my favorite son. You often come and spend time with me.”
Somehow that leaves a stung in Jun’s heart. Even though Sho is working like a mule every day in the office, even though Satoshi is the only one who understand their father’s passion, even though Kazu is clearly struggling with his problem, all what their father still see is him. Not to forget about the lack of mention about Masaki on purpose like the third brother never exist in their life despite all the laughter and joy that Masaki had spread in their house. After all, it is the sudden loss of the cheerful guy what makes the balance between the five of them broken.
“The reason I come here today is to talk about Nii-san.”
It doesn't take long before the bedridden man turns to the lady beside him by that. That makes the woman who seemingly understands their need of privacy to smile back as she then leaves the room without a word. Later when the door is eventually closed in front them, Jun finally gets up from his chair and walks toward their father.
“So you guys haven’t found Satoshi yet?”
The younger one immediately shakes his head.
“We plan to make an official report about Nii-san since we still haven’t received any information from anywhere yet. So just in case something unpleasant will happen from that…I thought I should let you know beforehand.”
“It doesn’t matter actually. It won’t affect me. Our rivals and media can’t create stories about me anymore since I’m not the one in charge on the company. They can only upset Sho from now on because…well, it's clear he’s the one who is in control. So if there's anything, it will only affect Sho and how the nation sees about him after this.”
The obvious lack of worry in the tone makes Jun frowns due to disbelieve. Why their father still can think about company and good image even until this moment? Yet, for some reason, he can relate with it considering how crucial Sho’s situation at this moment if the latter really wants to prove his worth to the company, moreover after the left of Masaki which unfortunately is still not very clear to him. When he heard whatever problem between Sho and Masaki occurred before, he unfortunately was still working for a magazine in Kyoto. And by the time he returned, Satoshi’s accident already happened which leave no room for him to ask anything further since all the attention went to the process to recover the eldest brother’s condition bit by bit. Yet, the realization of how much their family changes with Sho suddenly turns into a workaholic and Kazu refuses to see anyone except for very unavoidable circumstances after that slowly begins to crack his facade before he realizes it. The only source that left for him was their father, but the elder man dodges any questions he threw every time as if the latter doesn't want to even think about it anymore. Judging from their father and Sho’s reaction though, he knows that Masaki probably has committed something unforgivable though nobody wants to tell him what it is.
Soon, the two of them are startled by sudden knocks on the door. The previous lady then peeks inside after apologizing for interrupting.
“Sho-kun is here to see you, darling.”
She just smiles when receives an approval nod before closing the door back. That is a more than enough sign for Jun to leave the ward though their father still manages to tease him.
“If you’re interested with elder woman, you can ask for Miwako-chan anytime you want from me. Who knows if she’s actually your type as well?”
The son just glares at his father instead, clearly irritated. Indeed, he loves partying and clubbing, but it disgusts him just even thinking about flirting or even looking for his father’s mistresses. And as playboy, party animal or whatever people call him is, he already vowed to himself that he will never turn into one of those women or his father by becoming a relationship breaker. There is no reason to involve in a commitment if you know you can’t commit on one after all.
Later, the door finally being pulled open to reveal the very tense Sho. It is clear to him just how much the second brother hates to see the shameless woman as well, but still trying hard to hide his irritation for the sake of their father. By the time the two of them then walk pass each other, neither bother to exchange a word nor sparing a glance. That fact though doesn't disturb either of them since the increasing distant had grown accustomed to them as if they are turning more and more into total strangers than actual brothers.
…Or maybe they already are now.
***
Back in the house, Kazu is sitting in the living room while checking his phone almost every single minute. His eyes glow with hope every time he checks the screen, but only to dim again when sees nothing still appear on it. Sighing, the fourth brother later lifts his legs and hugs it closer to his chest. He however immediately winces once feel a sharp pain on his left shoulder due to the sudden movement, though calm down again when it slowly subsides. Serve him right for trying to act cool by throwing the vase last night despite the injury he has 4 years ago…
In all honesty, it is very rare of him to stay in the open place like that since he will try to avoid from bumping into any of his siblings as much as possible. He would rather spend his day in his room - playing games, reading manga, or surfing internet, like a typical *hikikomori. However, the only thing he wants to do now is to stay there and wait until Satoshi safely returns to their house. He already tries as many methods as he can to look for the elder one since yesterday, but in the end the only thing that he can do is to pray for at least a little of hint on the latter’s current whereabouts.
It’s your fault. Everything is your fault.
The closed-up guy gasps by the familiar mocking voice. Trying to shut it out, he immediately hides his face on his kneecaps as his fingers dig deeper into his skin. Much to his dismay however, the voice just echoes louder and louder in his head for each passing second.
It’s your fault. Everything is YOUR FAULT.
Kazu only can helplessly whine by that. His whole body already starts to tremble due to endless guilt at this moment, especially by the next thing that resounds all over his brain.
Masaki left because of you. Satoshi hurt because of you. And now he lost BECAUSE OF YOU.
BEEP!
The nearly crying man startles by a sudden vibration from his phone. That quickly makes him lift his teary gaze to the empty distance ahead before unlocking the screen to see what just enters his inbox. As he tries to calm himself down by evening his breath back, he then taps on the new message to see what he just receives there.
Yet, his eyes immediately open wide due to a very unexpected discovery.
***
>Finally it shows a part of Jun's POV on this chapter. It's clear now that each of them hide something within them after all this time. What's happening to Satoshi and Masaki will be revealed on the next chapter.
>Comments are much appreciated! Thank You SO much for reading until this far! :)
Rating: R for 'particular' scene.
Characters: OT5 (All Arashi members as brothers)
Genre: AU, drama, family, angst
Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine~
Summary: 2 years ago Osayama Satoshi was involved in a terrible accident that made him lost partial of his memories. Even though he survived the impact, he becomes mentally incapable and has to depend on his younger brothers to lead normal life. What he didn’t expect when waking up though was to find all his once caring brothers had turned into people who were completely different from his memory. Sho has changed into a hot-tempered workaholic, Kazunari becomes an introvert who refuses to talk with anyone, and Jun drowns himself in party, alcohol and women every single night. To make it even confusing, nobody in the house is allowed to speak about Masaki who for some unknown reasons has disappeared without a trace.
Will Satoshi find the answer he is seeking for in the end? Or something…is actually is hidden beneath the mess?
A/N: Their surname is Osayama. Un-betaed!
Beneath the finest (Chapter 5)
Light rustling sound fills the quiet ward when an old man gracefully runs the pencil he is holding on a drawing paper. His expression is calm despite the obvious wrinkles that show on his face due to the combination of extreme stress and old age after over working himself since he was still in a young age. The realization that his father’s sick figure might be the reflection of someone else’s future self makes Jun who is sitting still on a chair in the middle of the room immediately drops his gaze. His sudden movement however gains displeased reaction from his father who still hasn’t finished with his drawing.
“Jun, stay still.”
The son just let out a heavy sigh. Bothered by the response, the bedridden man almost speak his thought out before a beautiful woman in her 40s who is nearly two decades younger suddenly cut in as she gently touches his shoulders.
“Be more considerate with Jun-kun, dear. It’s not easy to stay still like that for more than an hour.”
“But you can do it when you’re modeling for me, right? There should be no excuse for him.”
Realizing that she is not going to win the argument in any ways, the lady only can heavily sigh and takes her seat back on the edge of the bed. Jun at the same time just clench his fists until his hands tremble hard on his lap as he watches the woman and his father talk about whatever thing on the paper. Seeing them laughing like nothing else matter in the world crush something inside him, but he holds it back despite his already unstable emotion.
Nobody was supposed to remain in their house on that day. Since Satoshi, Sho, and Masaki were busy with their club activities while Kazu had to stay for his baseball practice, Jun had to return home alone after their father’s personal driver picked him up from school. Later, as his 9 years old self climbed up the stairs to go into his room, he was surprised by a sudden loud thud from their parents’ room. Terrified, the little boy nearly squeaked and ran away, but stopped by a muffled voice that came from inside there. His heart still thumped hard in his chest when he then heard a creak sound, followed by their father’s muffled voice.
Totally confused by the presence, the little Jun slowly tiptoed toward the source. His curiosity already took over his fear by the time he heard his father soothing tone, followed by a woman’s voice which he was more than sure wasn’t their mother’s. He knew how much their father hated it if they disturbed him except during family’s time, but Jun just couldn’t stop himself from walking closer to the master bedroom since it was very unusual for the elder man to be at home around this hour. He didn’t know how he had such bravery to shrug off the fact that he will get scolded at that time, but before he could think twice, he already timidly called for the latter. Yet, after waiting for a while and heard nothing came from inside, he frowned and finally reached for the doorknob to peek inside.
…Thinking about it now, he wished he had never opened the door back then. The obscure scene of their smiling father turned to him with unreadable expression, his pointing finger on his lips as a sign to keep quiet while an unknown woman lying beneath him on the bed froze his innocent self instantly.
It was disturbing. Blatantly sickening.
...And before he realized it, the scene had added more cracks and scratches on his already crumbled childhood.
Can’t longer keep his gaze at his now grinning father and the man's later shamelessly revealed mistress in front, Jun immediately turns to look at the window instead. That memory has become the turning point in his life to no longer believe with the ridiculous thing such as 'commitment' and 'pure love' in relationship ever. He always wonders why his father went through two divorces before - first with Satoshi and Masaki’s mother and later with Kazu and his, but after that scarred incident, he finally fully understand. Well, the answer is as clear as day after all.
Their father is actually a jerk.
“Jun, have you contacted Sho yet?”
The question brings Jun back from his thought. Emptily, he then turns to the elder one again and nods.
“Actually it’s more like Kazu told Sho for me. He didn’t pick up his phone, so I asked Kazu to deliver the message.”
The ex-CEO of one of the biggest companies in Tokyo just smilingly nods. After asking for his woman to pass him a glass of water, he put down his pencil and widely smiles.
“That boy won’t visit me unless for company’s matters. It looks like he’s working too hard to fulfill his role lately.” his supposed-to-be-sad-meaning-statement though betrayed by proud tone which clearly emphasizes the opposite feeling he clearly has. That makes Jun to grit his teeth even harder while quietly listens to their father's words.
“You inherit my personality and stoicism. Satoshi inherits my artistic passion and skill. And Kazu got the composure and the fast thinker side…though I hope that boy will stop locking himself in his room and start living his life for real. Just how long he plans to hide himself like that?”
The youngest son can feel rage build up higher inside him, both due to the heartless comment regarding Kazu and the lack of mention of Masaki’s name. He is very close to say something about it if not because his father suddenly continues.
“And Sho…how I hope he will come here more frequently just like you. He’s becoming more and more workaholic like me. Maybe a bit too much if I can say, but that only mean he is taking his responsibility seriously.”
Jun finally clicks his tongue.
“He’s going to kill someone with that level of stress one day. I would rather you hire someone to help him handle the company, father.”
“It’s not that easy, Jun. Wrong person and that company will doom. How about you give it a try and work with Sho instead?”
It only takes one angry look from Jun to make the elder man laugh due to amusement. After all, it is a well-known fact among their family members just passionate both Kazu and Jun are when it comes to chasing after their ‘real dreams’. They always say that they want to choose path which won’t let them to be led by their family’s status and that explains how he ends up working in photography field now.
“If his mother is still alive…I’m sure she will scold me for turning her son like that.”
For a split of second, Jun notices the gloom in his father’s eyes. It is very rare to hear their father touches the topic regarding Sho’s mother who is also actually the latter's first wife. From what he heard before, she died due to some complication when Sho was one year old. Then, not long after that, their father met an office lady in a formal occasion who turned out to be a divorcee with a son - Satoshi - which later ended up with them marrying each other. However, despite not being related by blood, he knows that his father still treat them all equally since the elder man seems to gladly teach everything that he knows about arts to Satoshi. Even when the couple broke up to follow their own way after Masaki was born, he doesn’t see any difference with the way their father see them. Probably that is why all the five of them are very close with each other although they were born from different mothers. And that explains why he still can stick with his father despite the elder man’s sick attitude toward his spouse and family as they grow older and older. He realizes that a deep, tiny part inside him, he actually still holds his respect and gratefulness toward their father for literally taking care of them by himself after this entire time.
“I guess this is why you’re my favorite son. You often come and spend time with me.”
Somehow that leaves a stung in Jun’s heart. Even though Sho is working like a mule every day in the office, even though Satoshi is the only one who understand their father’s passion, even though Kazu is clearly struggling with his problem, all what their father still see is him. Not to forget about the lack of mention about Masaki on purpose like the third brother never exist in their life despite all the laughter and joy that Masaki had spread in their house. After all, it is the sudden loss of the cheerful guy what makes the balance between the five of them broken.
“The reason I come here today is to talk about Nii-san.”
It doesn't take long before the bedridden man turns to the lady beside him by that. That makes the woman who seemingly understands their need of privacy to smile back as she then leaves the room without a word. Later when the door is eventually closed in front them, Jun finally gets up from his chair and walks toward their father.
“So you guys haven’t found Satoshi yet?”
The younger one immediately shakes his head.
“We plan to make an official report about Nii-san since we still haven’t received any information from anywhere yet. So just in case something unpleasant will happen from that…I thought I should let you know beforehand.”
“It doesn’t matter actually. It won’t affect me. Our rivals and media can’t create stories about me anymore since I’m not the one in charge on the company. They can only upset Sho from now on because…well, it's clear he’s the one who is in control. So if there's anything, it will only affect Sho and how the nation sees about him after this.”
The obvious lack of worry in the tone makes Jun frowns due to disbelieve. Why their father still can think about company and good image even until this moment? Yet, for some reason, he can relate with it considering how crucial Sho’s situation at this moment if the latter really wants to prove his worth to the company, moreover after the left of Masaki which unfortunately is still not very clear to him. When he heard whatever problem between Sho and Masaki occurred before, he unfortunately was still working for a magazine in Kyoto. And by the time he returned, Satoshi’s accident already happened which leave no room for him to ask anything further since all the attention went to the process to recover the eldest brother’s condition bit by bit. Yet, the realization of how much their family changes with Sho suddenly turns into a workaholic and Kazu refuses to see anyone except for very unavoidable circumstances after that slowly begins to crack his facade before he realizes it. The only source that left for him was their father, but the elder man dodges any questions he threw every time as if the latter doesn't want to even think about it anymore. Judging from their father and Sho’s reaction though, he knows that Masaki probably has committed something unforgivable though nobody wants to tell him what it is.
Soon, the two of them are startled by sudden knocks on the door. The previous lady then peeks inside after apologizing for interrupting.
“Sho-kun is here to see you, darling.”
She just smiles when receives an approval nod before closing the door back. That is a more than enough sign for Jun to leave the ward though their father still manages to tease him.
“If you’re interested with elder woman, you can ask for Miwako-chan anytime you want from me. Who knows if she’s actually your type as well?”
The son just glares at his father instead, clearly irritated. Indeed, he loves partying and clubbing, but it disgusts him just even thinking about flirting or even looking for his father’s mistresses. And as playboy, party animal or whatever people call him is, he already vowed to himself that he will never turn into one of those women or his father by becoming a relationship breaker. There is no reason to involve in a commitment if you know you can’t commit on one after all.
Later, the door finally being pulled open to reveal the very tense Sho. It is clear to him just how much the second brother hates to see the shameless woman as well, but still trying hard to hide his irritation for the sake of their father. By the time the two of them then walk pass each other, neither bother to exchange a word nor sparing a glance. That fact though doesn't disturb either of them since the increasing distant had grown accustomed to them as if they are turning more and more into total strangers than actual brothers.
…Or maybe they already are now.
***
Back in the house, Kazu is sitting in the living room while checking his phone almost every single minute. His eyes glow with hope every time he checks the screen, but only to dim again when sees nothing still appear on it. Sighing, the fourth brother later lifts his legs and hugs it closer to his chest. He however immediately winces once feel a sharp pain on his left shoulder due to the sudden movement, though calm down again when it slowly subsides. Serve him right for trying to act cool by throwing the vase last night despite the injury he has 4 years ago…
In all honesty, it is very rare of him to stay in the open place like that since he will try to avoid from bumping into any of his siblings as much as possible. He would rather spend his day in his room - playing games, reading manga, or surfing internet, like a typical *hikikomori. However, the only thing he wants to do now is to stay there and wait until Satoshi safely returns to their house. He already tries as many methods as he can to look for the elder one since yesterday, but in the end the only thing that he can do is to pray for at least a little of hint on the latter’s current whereabouts.
It’s your fault. Everything is your fault.
The closed-up guy gasps by the familiar mocking voice. Trying to shut it out, he immediately hides his face on his kneecaps as his fingers dig deeper into his skin. Much to his dismay however, the voice just echoes louder and louder in his head for each passing second.
It’s your fault. Everything is YOUR FAULT.
Kazu only can helplessly whine by that. His whole body already starts to tremble due to endless guilt at this moment, especially by the next thing that resounds all over his brain.
Masaki left because of you. Satoshi hurt because of you. And now he lost BECAUSE OF YOU.
BEEP!
The nearly crying man startles by a sudden vibration from his phone. That quickly makes him lift his teary gaze to the empty distance ahead before unlocking the screen to see what just enters his inbox. As he tries to calm himself down by evening his breath back, he then taps on the new message to see what he just receives there.
Yet, his eyes immediately open wide due to a very unexpected discovery.
***
>Finally it shows a part of Jun's POV on this chapter. It's clear now that each of them hide something within them after all this time. What's happening to Satoshi and Masaki will be revealed on the next chapter.
>Comments are much appreciated! Thank You SO much for reading until this far! :)