(no subject)

[24hourpoison]

somtimes. i onder how much i can take,
i never really thought that loosing that part of my life would hurt so much...
i feel like a fool,no, i am a fool.
no one knew about it. it was my own little secret, it was my safe haven.
the one thing i dreamed about everynight as i fell asleep.
it was the one thing i thought i would always have.
But being the wishful thinker always seems to be the downfall.
i knew it wouldent work out.
and i knew there was somthing i could do to change it.
but my little secret isent there any longer.
i think somtimes i live my life with a blured reflection, i never seem to see the same thing evertime i look.
all i know.
is I dont want to be left here alone, im getting out. theres no stopping that. i hate it here. and everything i have here.

I....

I wonder if ill ever find myself again.
its the most bizzar feeling of just, not fitting, in my own skin.
There are so many people with the same problem im sure, but its damn new to me.
I wish i could just leave, and never see this place again.
because theres so much more than what i see right now, theres so much more than even what i dont see.