Autumn
Title: Autumn
Pairing: TaengSic ft. SooFany
Rating PG13
Disclaimer: It's fiction
Chapter 4: Miss.
She was under the hood of a car, busily working on the car that she did not realized two figures had arrived at her working space.
“Taeng.”
A call and a tap on her shoulder broke her concentration and she turned around slowly as she withdrew her body from the hood.
“Soo? Fany?”
Surprise was all over her face when she saw her two best friends standing behind her with smile on their faces.
“It seems that you’re real busy huh?”
SooYoung commented as she took a glance around the garage that was filled with cars and busy mechanics working around without a single word. Taeyeon nodded her head as she wiped her dirty hands on the towel that was hanging around her suit and sniffed slightly.
“Yeah, it’s winter. Snowing, and that usually means cars to work on. Nothing new.”
Taeyeon merely shrugged before signaling the two girls to her office.
“So, what brings the both of you here without informing?”
She asked as she placed two cans of drinks in front of them and settled down on her office chair while her friends take their own seats respectively on the couch opposite. SooYoung merely shrugged as she opened a can of soda and passed it to Tiffany before opening her own can.
“Can’t we just give you a surprise visit?”
Tiffany asked playfully while Taeyeon merely smile.
“Sure you can, but what if I’m real busy like now? You know it’s going to delay the process of fixing all those cars out there and there are more lining up.”
She teased Tiffany back and watched as the younger girl pouted.
“So, the cars are more important than me?”
Taeyeon laughed out loud, knowing Tiffany never like to be at the losing end when it comes to importance. Be it with SooYoung or her, Tiffany always wants to be at the first place or a special space - nothing less than that.
“Well, one brings me income while the other...”
Taeyeon trailed off cheekily and watched as Tiffany frowned, unhappy about the insinuation while SooYoung was looking awkwardly beside her.
Tiffany huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest, feeling upset that even Taeyeon is finding her a nuisance like how SooYoung is for this week.
“Fine! You’re just like this stupid chopstick beside me! I’ll go away if my presence is unwanted by you both!”
She snapped and huffed in hurt and angriness once again before standing up and stormed out of the office. Taeyeon was stunned by the reaction. Tiffany never took her teasing seriously at all because they had this banter for as long as she could remember. So, for Tiffany to get so worked up this time round, the main culprit could only be the presence that is remaining in her office.
Taeyeon sighed and narrowed her eyes at the tall figure that was looking at the direction where her girlfriend has disappeared to.
“What did you do this time?”
Taeyeon mumbled as she leaned forward to her working desk and stared at SooYoung. She watched as the taller girl scratched her hair helplessly while giving a shrug.
“I’ve been busy this week, you know? Helping out my sis’s wedding preparation, adjusting and tweaking some ideas and information in the proposal for the latest project, which is the new resort that our company is going to build, I don’t really have time to accompany her. A few days ago, something happened to a resort and I have to handle it since dad was, you know, accompanying mum and sis for the wedding and I… kind of, snapped? I’m too stressed and I guess I broke down and… I feel bad. I shouldn’t but Tiffany was just… she’s just there and she happened to trigger me. So I… told her to get off my back and give me a break. I don’t mean it and yeah, so she’s angry and sensitive until now I guess?”
SooYoung explained and heaved out a loud sigh before looking at Taeyeon helplessly.
“Have you apologized to her?”
“I did. Beg and beg and beg for the whole day. Explain over and over again, telling her I don’t mean it and I was just stressed and I’m really sorry for telling her that. Thank god, she’s an understanding person like always. Just, I guess she took it a little badly since I’ve never told her to get off my back before. She’s always special in my heart and she knows it so yeah, I guess she was really hurt.”
Taeyeon shook her head slightly and give SooYoung a small smile.
“She’s never special in her family. I know you knew it and I’ve told you a lot of time but I still want to remind you. She’s special. She’s fragile and vulnerable when it comes to being an importance in someone else’s life. Fany, she’s never received a lot of love from her family since her family never gets over her brother’s death and pushed the blame on her just because she dropped her doll and her brother picked it up for her and an unwanted accident occurred. She’s loving and helpful because she doesn’t want people to be like her.”
A deep breath and the smile were no longer on her face.
“This is why I am protective of her. I allow you to be with her because I trust you can make a difference in her life. You should know that my say in her relationship is more important than her own feeling because she trust me. And yes, I’ve seen a lot more people than she has. I’ve seen the uglier side of the world but she doesn’t. She chose not to and this is because she believes in that the world is still pretty. Silly but she can’t help it. Well, I don’t because I’ve seen more than I wanted to and if you don’t want her anymore please tell me earlier so I can take her back, without any defect in her heart. And just to add on, even if you do exactly what I say, I wouldn’t let you go that easily too.”
Taeyeon’s eyes had hardened, despite it’s her best friend that she’s looking at right now. No one can bully Tiffany. No one could.
SooYoung, on the other hand, was staring back at Taeyeon with the same cold hard and piercing eyes.
“Tiffany is mine. I will never ever return her to you the moment I asked you if I could date her. I had also sworn that no one. No one and not even I will hurt her. And yes, I know what I’m getting into when you allow me to date her and fret not, I never will let you had the chance to take her away from me and I will never let you beat me up so don’t worry. She’s mine and I intend to keep her forever, with all my heart and love.”
“Good. Remember what you have said today.”
Taeyeon relaxed and SooYoung does the same before heaving a sigh again.
“Aren’t you going to chase after her and coax her?”
Taeyeon spoke up and took a gulp of her drink while SooYoung shook her head.
“She’ll be fine. She’s already fine. I’m coaxing her everyday ever since the little fight we had a few days ago.”
Taeyeon nodded her head before taking a look out of the glass window from her office.
“How’s Sica?”
SooYoung spoke out after a moment of silence and Taeyeon only response to her questions after a few moments.
“She’s fine.”
“Great…”
SooYoung answered back and tried to think of ways to sound Taeyeon out, wondering if the older girl knew about the little baby already.
“Erm, did you both… talk?”
“Yeah, we did… Actually, not exactly, we kind of fought on the second day...”
“What?! Fought? What happened?”
SooYoung stood up and walked over to Taeyeon’s working desk, taking a seat on the corner of the table while the latter hung her head down and closed her eyes tiredly.
“I told her… not to keep the baby.”
Taeyeon whispered and SooYoung was taken aback by the confession.
“You what?! H - how could you say that? Why do you told her to abort the child? You’re no different from that jerk. W - Why did you have to do that? You’re making her relieving the pain twice. Oh god. You’re… you’re urgh!”
SooYoung hissed dangerously before standing up and pacing to and fro in hurry.
“Wait. I’m no different from that jerk? What do you mean?”
Taeyeon frowned and stared at SooYoung with a confused look while the younger girl stared back at her with the same expression.
“What what do I mean? The jerk told her to get an abortion when she told him that she’s pregnant with their child. This is why she got out of that apartment and landed in your place. Didn’t she tell you that or you forget about this main whole point that caused her to be homeless and well, pregnant and going to be a single mom soon?”
SooYoung retorted back and her confused expression soon morphed into a surprised expression when Taeyeon’s face was tensed as she clenched her teeth hard enough to show her already defined jaw lines more obvious than before. She soon realized the slip up. Taeyeon doesn’t know anything. There isn’t any talk like what Taeyeon had said at all.
“Didn’t you and Sica talked at all?”
“We didn’t.”
They did not. After since the small fight they had, they barely had a conversation at all and it didn’t help that the garage business was getting busier and busier. Taeyeon spent most of her time in the garage fixing cars and the only time she got to see Jessica was buying meals for the younger girl and checking up on her before the latter woke up and after she had slept.
“Then how did you know she’s pregnant?”
Taeyeon looked away, swallowing down the anger at the thought of how her SooYeon was being treated.
“I found out by myself. She had a relapse on the first night and I took her pulse.”
SooYoung groaned. Right, Taeyeon’s a doctor. How could she let this fact slipped her mind?
“Why did you ask her to… abort?”
SooYoung asked weakly, body slouching as she sat back on the corner of the table and looked at Taeyeon tiredly.
With a deep breath, Taeyeon shook her head and look into SooYoung’s eyes with fear and guiltiness in her own eyes.
“The risk… her heart condition… I just. I’m afraid to lose her.”
She whispered out before looking away from SooYoung, eyes choosing to stare out of the glass window where her workers are working on the cars.
“Soo… I don’t mean to, you know? But the thought of the baby endangering her life, I - I’m afraid. It’s like…”
She exhaled deeply. Words are all tied up in her throat, trying to escape from the grip, fumbling to come out from her mouth.
Confessions are never this hard for Taeyeon.
But 3 years make a big difference. 3 years of keeping her heartfelt feelings to herself without letting a single feeling slipped through made it harder than before.
Confession related to SooYeon made it harder than ever.
“… She’s finally back. I can’t afford to lose her anymore Soo. I can’t.”
SooYoung felt her heart wrenched tightly at the soft confession from Taeyeon.
3 years. Ever since Jessica had left Taeyeon, ever since the incident that happened to Taeyeon, ever since Taeyeon realized that she had love Jessica along after the latter was gone, she had never speak of her real feelings again. Taeyeon had chose to keep to herself, licking her own wounds at a corner, creating her wounds at one corner, refusing to let anyone see the scars she has.
This was the first time after 3 freaking long years that SooYoung finally heard Taeyeon’s confession.
And it hurts badly for SooYoung.
She felt so bad that the hurt was suffocating her.
Maybe Tiffany is right; allowing Jessica to be with Taeyeon is the last resort. It’s the only way and method left. Only Jessica and Taeyeon could help each other.
Only the both of them can help each other.
With a sigh, SooYoung stood up and bent down, hugging her friend tightly, giving her the only assurance and comfort she could.
“I’m sorry.”
She whispered out softly when she felt hands creeping up to the sides of her shirt and gripping it tightly.
“I’m sorry…”
-
“Jess?”
Tiffany called out softly, looking around Taeyeon’s small and humble apartment only to find no one around.
“Jessi? Where are you?”
Tiffany closed the door gently before walking down the hallway and knocked on the door that was closed.
“Jessi? It’s Tiffany.”
She knocked on the door a few times before smiling when she heard the soft light voice traveled from behind the door.
“Tiff? Come in!”
She turned the doorknob and pushed the door opened. She was then greeted by a giddy smiling Jessica who stood up from the working desk that was near the window and was walking towards her.
“Hi! How are you?”
Tiffany asked as she hugged Jessica tightly before closing the door behind her.
“I’m great.”
“That’s nice to hear. How about the little one inside you? Giving you any troubles?”
Tiffany took a glance down to the little bulging tummy with a smile on her face.
“I suppose he or she is fine?”
Jessica replied softly as she placed a hand over her clothed tummy and Tiffany looked back at her with a frown.
“You suppose?”
Jessica raised an eyebrow at Tiffany’s question and nodded her head hesitantly.
“How can you only suppose? Didn’t you go for a checkup?”
Jessica could only shake her head slowly and guiltily.
“What? How could you? You’re nearing your first trimester and yet you didn’t go for checkup once? What is the midget doing? She’d know better than this!”
Tiffany was beyond surprised. The reason she asked Jessica to stay was because she thought the older girl knew how to take care of Jessica better than anyone. Yet, right now, Jessica didn’t even go for a checkup once. Even she knows how important the first trimester was for a pregnant lady.
“Do you even have a gynecologist?”
“No…”
“Did you even find one?”
“No…”
Jessica’s response was getting softer and softer each time as she was showered with guilt and shame.
“Do you even care and want this child?”
Tiffany raised her voice, not believing her best friend that was standing in front of her was so reckless.
“Of course I want my child!”
“Then why didn’t you go for a checkup?! God! Do you want to regret later when something happened to the little one?”
Tiffany huffed out in annoyance. She crossed her arms across her chest and stared down at the shorter girl, waiting for an explanation.
“I - I was too busy with the upcoming project… I overlooked in this matter. Furthermore, the morning sickness this little one caused me every day showed that it’s okay right?”
Jessica looked at Tiffany with big round eyes, the innocent reflected in her eyes made Tiffany felt so helpless.
“Does Taeyeon know you’re pregnant?”
A nod of head and Jessica glanced away; remembering the nasty fight that occurred that afternoon.
“Did she even say anything at all?”
“She told me to abort it.”
Jessica whispered before swallowing the lump in her throat.
“What?! How - how could it be?”
Tiffany was stunned for a moment. Taeyeon loves children. Taeyeon loves Jessica. Most importantly, Taeyeon is a doctor. Why Taeyeon would say this to Jessica?
“Then what happened after that?”
Jessica shrugged before walking over to her bed and took a seat before answering tiredly.
“We made a deal. That’s all.”
“What deal?”
Jessica pursed her lips and dismissed Tiffany’s question with a wave of hand. That’s when Tiffany knows that the conversation it’s over. She heaved a sigh before clearing her throat.
“Fine, are you free right now?”
“Yeah.”
“Want to go out? Shopping and probably get some stuffs that you need?”
“Sure, it’s been a while since I went out anyway.”
Jessica turned around and smiled at Tiffany, which the younger girl generously returned.
“Give Taeyeon a call and inform her ok? I need the washroom.”
Jessica froze for a moment before frowning.
“Why can’t we just tell her downstairs?”
“She’s busy, Jessi. There are lots of cars in the garage and she’s working on it. A call or a message to her will be better than we interrupt her again.”
“Why don’t you call her?”
“Jessi! I need the washroom like right now! Just do it!”
Tiffany exclaimed and stood up, walking hurriedly to the door but was stopped when Jessica spoke up.
“Erm… what’s her number?”
Tiffany turned around and stared at Jessica blankly for a moment.
“You don’t remember?”
“She didn’t tell me her number.”
Jessica stared right back at Tiffany with the same blank expression.
Tiffany heaved another sigh and pursed her lips tightly. She doesn’t know why but it felt extremely hurtful to tell Jessica this.
Is this what misunderstanding and miscommunication caused?
“She never changed her number Jess… it’s… still the same as five years ago.”
A glint of surprised was present in Jessica’s eyes. It has never come across her mind that Taeyeon still remained her number because after a year of waiting for Taeyeon to contact her but to no avail, Jessica had clenched her teeth hard and squeezed her eyes shut tightly as she deleted Taeyeon’s contact.
Like how she wanted to delete Taeyeon’s presence in her life.
But it was all in vain because she found herself keying the numbers she had well-memorized over the years in her phone.
“I see…”
Tiffany then whispered out softly when she noticed the downcast look on Jessica’s face and shook her head softly. She had to do something to help the two of them.
And the only way to help was to speak the truth.
And truth, did she speak.
“She’s hoping that one day… you’d call back you know? That’s why she refused to change her number.”
Tiffany turned around and went out of the room, the door clicked softly as it was closed and Jessica took a deep breath shakily before rolling her eyes and stared out of the window. The tears were threatening to fall out of her eyes and she bit her quivering lips hardly.
“Stupid Taengoo.”
She muttered out softly as tears dripped out of her eyes uncontrollably. Taeyeon always do this cheesy thing to her. And Jessica hated it as much as she loved it.
The tears continued to fall from her eyes and Jessica wiped it away harshly.
But the tears won’t stop falling.
Like how she realized, that she won’t stop falling for Taeyeon too.
She wiped her tears away harder and yet, she knows.
Deep in her heart she knows, that the love she has for Taeyeon four years ago and now could never be wiped away at all.
-
Hi Taeyeon? It’s Jessica here. Tiff and I are going out together.
With a sigh, Taeyeon stared at the unknown number for a while before saving it in her contact. She should have known, shouldn’t she? Jessica ought to change her number. Just like how Jessica thought she ought to leave her because she didn’t love her at all.
Mistakes.
Misunderstanding.
Miscommunication.
Missing.
And Taeyeon wondered how much more of Jessica has she missed out on? Five years ago, three years ago and right now, just how much will she continue to miss out on?
The vibration of her phone made her snapped out of her reverie and she glanced down at the screen. With a slight smile, she picked up her phone as she stood up from where she was and went to her office.
Once she was away from all the noises her workers are producing due to the repairing, she answered her phone.
“Hello?”
“Taeng? Yul here.”
“Yeah, I know. How did it go?”
“It went smooth. You can bring her over to me for her check-up. I’m sorry about the delay though.”
Taeyeon nodded her head and continued to smile lightly at the apologetic voice over the other end.
“It’s fine. I did monitor her condition every night when she’s asleep. She’s doing fine and so is the baby.”
Taeyeon replied and heard a soft sigh over the other side.
“That’s great then. How’s the baby’s heartbeat then?”
“So far so good and I hope it continues to be normal.”
Taeyeon replied and Yuri hummed back in response.
“So, bring her in tomorrow and I’ll give her a thorough check-up to make sure both of them are perfectly fine. Not that I don’t trust your skills but -“
“I know Yuri. You’re rambling now. You are the specialist. You have all the equipments for it so relax okay?”
“Well, but you are the heart specialist. You are from the cardio department. This should be your case.”
Taeyeon closed her eyes tightly when she heard Yuri’s words, knowing what’s going to take place the next instance. It’s has always been like this.
“I’m not in there anymore, Yul. I’ve said -”
“Then get the hell back. Come back here and do your job. It’s never your fault in the first place!”
“It’s my fault! Everyone knows it’s my fault!”
“It’s not yours! Someone set you up! You should know better than it! Even the Director feels so!”
“Then prove it to me Yuri. Prove the hell of it to me!”
“And if I do, will you come back?”
Taeyeon inhaled deeply and clutched the phone in her hand tighter.
“We’ll see.”
She replied behind clenched teeth and exhaled deeply.
“I’ve - things to do. I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks and… sorry.”
“Taeng…”
“No Yul. No. Just… just leave it, please? This is not my priority anymore for now. I’m happy with right now and I have no intend to change it yet. So please, just let me be okay?”
She heard Yuri heaving a sigh at the other end and the heaviness of it made her cringed badly.
“Okay then. Sorry and see you tomorrow.”
“Thanks.”
Taeyeon placed the phone down back to her pocket and groaned loudly. She placed her hands on the table and covered her face with her palms before muffling her screams and clutched her hair hardly with her fingers.
It’s so suffocating. Everything that is happening around her is so suffocating that she can’t feel anything anymore.
She couldn’t breathe.
She couldn’t feel.
She couldn’t do anything.
With a loud grunt, she banged her fists on the table and stood up harshly, making her chair pushed back to the cabinet with a loud bang.
With haggard breaths, she inhaled deeply and stared hard at her table top. This feeling is so familiar.
With clutched fists, she closed her eyes tightly, refusing to let her tears fall freely.
It feels like she was back to the day where Jessica left her, the day where the operation failed, the day where she cheated on her.
“Damn it. Fuck all of this!”
Taeyeon cursed under her breathe and inhaled deeply, as if trying to inhale all her emotions back into where it’s supposed to be - deep in her heart. And she succeeded after a few deep breaths.
Soft chuckles traveled to her ears and she looked up instinctively. From her office, she saw Tiffany and Jessica walking past the entrance of the garage, heading to the direction where SooYoung was waiting in the car for them.
She stared at the cold angular face that seemed so warm and breath-taking with a smile on it. Her fingernails dug deeper into her palms, breaking skin at the force when Tiffany and Jessica turned around to the direction of her office.
Her breath stopped when she saw Jessica smiling softly at her and waved goodbye to her along with Tiffany.
She continued to watch as the both of them opened the car door and get in but blushed immediately when she saw Jessica turning back to look at her once more.
Awkwardly and embarrassed, she cracked a small awkward smile to Jessica and watched as the girl hesitated to enter the car.
The next moment she knew, Jessica was already standing at her office door.
“I’ll see you tonight, text me if you need anything? Bye.”
Jessica said softly and looked at Taeyeon shyly. It reminded Taeyeon how much she missed hearing this sentence badly from Jessica when the latter used to go out with Tiffany alone.
“S - sure. B - bye.”
And with that, Jessica left.
Taeyeon then exhaled the breath that she had been holding unknowingly shakily when the car drove off.
“Please remember to come back, SooYeon?”
She whispered to no one in particular. When SooYoung’s car was long gone but SooYeon’s scent still lingering in her area.
“Please come back… I don’t want to miss you or anything about you anymore.”
Please.
A/N: I'm very sorry about the late updates. I have no excuses or reason. Just plain laziness and trying to make the plot perfect a little. Sorry for the long wait and thank you for the comments. :)
Pairing: TaengSic ft. SooFany
Rating PG13
Disclaimer: It's fiction
Chapter 4: Miss.
She was under the hood of a car, busily working on the car that she did not realized two figures had arrived at her working space.
“Taeng.”
A call and a tap on her shoulder broke her concentration and she turned around slowly as she withdrew her body from the hood.
“Soo? Fany?”
Surprise was all over her face when she saw her two best friends standing behind her with smile on their faces.
“It seems that you’re real busy huh?”
SooYoung commented as she took a glance around the garage that was filled with cars and busy mechanics working around without a single word. Taeyeon nodded her head as she wiped her dirty hands on the towel that was hanging around her suit and sniffed slightly.
“Yeah, it’s winter. Snowing, and that usually means cars to work on. Nothing new.”
Taeyeon merely shrugged before signaling the two girls to her office.
“So, what brings the both of you here without informing?”
She asked as she placed two cans of drinks in front of them and settled down on her office chair while her friends take their own seats respectively on the couch opposite. SooYoung merely shrugged as she opened a can of soda and passed it to Tiffany before opening her own can.
“Can’t we just give you a surprise visit?”
Tiffany asked playfully while Taeyeon merely smile.
“Sure you can, but what if I’m real busy like now? You know it’s going to delay the process of fixing all those cars out there and there are more lining up.”
She teased Tiffany back and watched as the younger girl pouted.
“So, the cars are more important than me?”
Taeyeon laughed out loud, knowing Tiffany never like to be at the losing end when it comes to importance. Be it with SooYoung or her, Tiffany always wants to be at the first place or a special space - nothing less than that.
“Well, one brings me income while the other...”
Taeyeon trailed off cheekily and watched as Tiffany frowned, unhappy about the insinuation while SooYoung was looking awkwardly beside her.
Tiffany huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest, feeling upset that even Taeyeon is finding her a nuisance like how SooYoung is for this week.
“Fine! You’re just like this stupid chopstick beside me! I’ll go away if my presence is unwanted by you both!”
She snapped and huffed in hurt and angriness once again before standing up and stormed out of the office. Taeyeon was stunned by the reaction. Tiffany never took her teasing seriously at all because they had this banter for as long as she could remember. So, for Tiffany to get so worked up this time round, the main culprit could only be the presence that is remaining in her office.
Taeyeon sighed and narrowed her eyes at the tall figure that was looking at the direction where her girlfriend has disappeared to.
“What did you do this time?”
Taeyeon mumbled as she leaned forward to her working desk and stared at SooYoung. She watched as the taller girl scratched her hair helplessly while giving a shrug.
“I’ve been busy this week, you know? Helping out my sis’s wedding preparation, adjusting and tweaking some ideas and information in the proposal for the latest project, which is the new resort that our company is going to build, I don’t really have time to accompany her. A few days ago, something happened to a resort and I have to handle it since dad was, you know, accompanying mum and sis for the wedding and I… kind of, snapped? I’m too stressed and I guess I broke down and… I feel bad. I shouldn’t but Tiffany was just… she’s just there and she happened to trigger me. So I… told her to get off my back and give me a break. I don’t mean it and yeah, so she’s angry and sensitive until now I guess?”
SooYoung explained and heaved out a loud sigh before looking at Taeyeon helplessly.
“Have you apologized to her?”
“I did. Beg and beg and beg for the whole day. Explain over and over again, telling her I don’t mean it and I was just stressed and I’m really sorry for telling her that. Thank god, she’s an understanding person like always. Just, I guess she took it a little badly since I’ve never told her to get off my back before. She’s always special in my heart and she knows it so yeah, I guess she was really hurt.”
Taeyeon shook her head slightly and give SooYoung a small smile.
“She’s never special in her family. I know you knew it and I’ve told you a lot of time but I still want to remind you. She’s special. She’s fragile and vulnerable when it comes to being an importance in someone else’s life. Fany, she’s never received a lot of love from her family since her family never gets over her brother’s death and pushed the blame on her just because she dropped her doll and her brother picked it up for her and an unwanted accident occurred. She’s loving and helpful because she doesn’t want people to be like her.”
A deep breath and the smile were no longer on her face.
“This is why I am protective of her. I allow you to be with her because I trust you can make a difference in her life. You should know that my say in her relationship is more important than her own feeling because she trust me. And yes, I’ve seen a lot more people than she has. I’ve seen the uglier side of the world but she doesn’t. She chose not to and this is because she believes in that the world is still pretty. Silly but she can’t help it. Well, I don’t because I’ve seen more than I wanted to and if you don’t want her anymore please tell me earlier so I can take her back, without any defect in her heart. And just to add on, even if you do exactly what I say, I wouldn’t let you go that easily too.”
Taeyeon’s eyes had hardened, despite it’s her best friend that she’s looking at right now. No one can bully Tiffany. No one could.
SooYoung, on the other hand, was staring back at Taeyeon with the same cold hard and piercing eyes.
“Tiffany is mine. I will never ever return her to you the moment I asked you if I could date her. I had also sworn that no one. No one and not even I will hurt her. And yes, I know what I’m getting into when you allow me to date her and fret not, I never will let you had the chance to take her away from me and I will never let you beat me up so don’t worry. She’s mine and I intend to keep her forever, with all my heart and love.”
“Good. Remember what you have said today.”
Taeyeon relaxed and SooYoung does the same before heaving a sigh again.
“Aren’t you going to chase after her and coax her?”
Taeyeon spoke up and took a gulp of her drink while SooYoung shook her head.
“She’ll be fine. She’s already fine. I’m coaxing her everyday ever since the little fight we had a few days ago.”
Taeyeon nodded her head before taking a look out of the glass window from her office.
“How’s Sica?”
SooYoung spoke out after a moment of silence and Taeyeon only response to her questions after a few moments.
“She’s fine.”
“Great…”
SooYoung answered back and tried to think of ways to sound Taeyeon out, wondering if the older girl knew about the little baby already.
“Erm, did you both… talk?”
“Yeah, we did… Actually, not exactly, we kind of fought on the second day...”
“What?! Fought? What happened?”
SooYoung stood up and walked over to Taeyeon’s working desk, taking a seat on the corner of the table while the latter hung her head down and closed her eyes tiredly.
“I told her… not to keep the baby.”
Taeyeon whispered and SooYoung was taken aback by the confession.
“You what?! H - how could you say that? Why do you told her to abort the child? You’re no different from that jerk. W - Why did you have to do that? You’re making her relieving the pain twice. Oh god. You’re… you’re urgh!”
SooYoung hissed dangerously before standing up and pacing to and fro in hurry.
“Wait. I’m no different from that jerk? What do you mean?”
Taeyeon frowned and stared at SooYoung with a confused look while the younger girl stared back at her with the same expression.
“What what do I mean? The jerk told her to get an abortion when she told him that she’s pregnant with their child. This is why she got out of that apartment and landed in your place. Didn’t she tell you that or you forget about this main whole point that caused her to be homeless and well, pregnant and going to be a single mom soon?”
SooYoung retorted back and her confused expression soon morphed into a surprised expression when Taeyeon’s face was tensed as she clenched her teeth hard enough to show her already defined jaw lines more obvious than before. She soon realized the slip up. Taeyeon doesn’t know anything. There isn’t any talk like what Taeyeon had said at all.
“Didn’t you and Sica talked at all?”
“We didn’t.”
They did not. After since the small fight they had, they barely had a conversation at all and it didn’t help that the garage business was getting busier and busier. Taeyeon spent most of her time in the garage fixing cars and the only time she got to see Jessica was buying meals for the younger girl and checking up on her before the latter woke up and after she had slept.
“Then how did you know she’s pregnant?”
Taeyeon looked away, swallowing down the anger at the thought of how her SooYeon was being treated.
“I found out by myself. She had a relapse on the first night and I took her pulse.”
SooYoung groaned. Right, Taeyeon’s a doctor. How could she let this fact slipped her mind?
“Why did you ask her to… abort?”
SooYoung asked weakly, body slouching as she sat back on the corner of the table and looked at Taeyeon tiredly.
With a deep breath, Taeyeon shook her head and look into SooYoung’s eyes with fear and guiltiness in her own eyes.
“The risk… her heart condition… I just. I’m afraid to lose her.”
She whispered out before looking away from SooYoung, eyes choosing to stare out of the glass window where her workers are working on the cars.
“Soo… I don’t mean to, you know? But the thought of the baby endangering her life, I - I’m afraid. It’s like…”
She exhaled deeply. Words are all tied up in her throat, trying to escape from the grip, fumbling to come out from her mouth.
Confessions are never this hard for Taeyeon.
But 3 years make a big difference. 3 years of keeping her heartfelt feelings to herself without letting a single feeling slipped through made it harder than before.
Confession related to SooYeon made it harder than ever.
“… She’s finally back. I can’t afford to lose her anymore Soo. I can’t.”
SooYoung felt her heart wrenched tightly at the soft confession from Taeyeon.
3 years. Ever since Jessica had left Taeyeon, ever since the incident that happened to Taeyeon, ever since Taeyeon realized that she had love Jessica along after the latter was gone, she had never speak of her real feelings again. Taeyeon had chose to keep to herself, licking her own wounds at a corner, creating her wounds at one corner, refusing to let anyone see the scars she has.
This was the first time after 3 freaking long years that SooYoung finally heard Taeyeon’s confession.
And it hurts badly for SooYoung.
She felt so bad that the hurt was suffocating her.
Maybe Tiffany is right; allowing Jessica to be with Taeyeon is the last resort. It’s the only way and method left. Only Jessica and Taeyeon could help each other.
Only the both of them can help each other.
With a sigh, SooYoung stood up and bent down, hugging her friend tightly, giving her the only assurance and comfort she could.
“I’m sorry.”
She whispered out softly when she felt hands creeping up to the sides of her shirt and gripping it tightly.
“I’m sorry…”
-
“Jess?”
Tiffany called out softly, looking around Taeyeon’s small and humble apartment only to find no one around.
“Jessi? Where are you?”
Tiffany closed the door gently before walking down the hallway and knocked on the door that was closed.
“Jessi? It’s Tiffany.”
She knocked on the door a few times before smiling when she heard the soft light voice traveled from behind the door.
“Tiff? Come in!”
She turned the doorknob and pushed the door opened. She was then greeted by a giddy smiling Jessica who stood up from the working desk that was near the window and was walking towards her.
“Hi! How are you?”
Tiffany asked as she hugged Jessica tightly before closing the door behind her.
“I’m great.”
“That’s nice to hear. How about the little one inside you? Giving you any troubles?”
Tiffany took a glance down to the little bulging tummy with a smile on her face.
“I suppose he or she is fine?”
Jessica replied softly as she placed a hand over her clothed tummy and Tiffany looked back at her with a frown.
“You suppose?”
Jessica raised an eyebrow at Tiffany’s question and nodded her head hesitantly.
“How can you only suppose? Didn’t you go for a checkup?”
Jessica could only shake her head slowly and guiltily.
“What? How could you? You’re nearing your first trimester and yet you didn’t go for checkup once? What is the midget doing? She’d know better than this!”
Tiffany was beyond surprised. The reason she asked Jessica to stay was because she thought the older girl knew how to take care of Jessica better than anyone. Yet, right now, Jessica didn’t even go for a checkup once. Even she knows how important the first trimester was for a pregnant lady.
“Do you even have a gynecologist?”
“No…”
“Did you even find one?”
“No…”
Jessica’s response was getting softer and softer each time as she was showered with guilt and shame.
“Do you even care and want this child?”
Tiffany raised her voice, not believing her best friend that was standing in front of her was so reckless.
“Of course I want my child!”
“Then why didn’t you go for a checkup?! God! Do you want to regret later when something happened to the little one?”
Tiffany huffed out in annoyance. She crossed her arms across her chest and stared down at the shorter girl, waiting for an explanation.
“I - I was too busy with the upcoming project… I overlooked in this matter. Furthermore, the morning sickness this little one caused me every day showed that it’s okay right?”
Jessica looked at Tiffany with big round eyes, the innocent reflected in her eyes made Tiffany felt so helpless.
“Does Taeyeon know you’re pregnant?”
A nod of head and Jessica glanced away; remembering the nasty fight that occurred that afternoon.
“Did she even say anything at all?”
“She told me to abort it.”
Jessica whispered before swallowing the lump in her throat.
“What?! How - how could it be?”
Tiffany was stunned for a moment. Taeyeon loves children. Taeyeon loves Jessica. Most importantly, Taeyeon is a doctor. Why Taeyeon would say this to Jessica?
“Then what happened after that?”
Jessica shrugged before walking over to her bed and took a seat before answering tiredly.
“We made a deal. That’s all.”
“What deal?”
Jessica pursed her lips and dismissed Tiffany’s question with a wave of hand. That’s when Tiffany knows that the conversation it’s over. She heaved a sigh before clearing her throat.
“Fine, are you free right now?”
“Yeah.”
“Want to go out? Shopping and probably get some stuffs that you need?”
“Sure, it’s been a while since I went out anyway.”
Jessica turned around and smiled at Tiffany, which the younger girl generously returned.
“Give Taeyeon a call and inform her ok? I need the washroom.”
Jessica froze for a moment before frowning.
“Why can’t we just tell her downstairs?”
“She’s busy, Jessi. There are lots of cars in the garage and she’s working on it. A call or a message to her will be better than we interrupt her again.”
“Why don’t you call her?”
“Jessi! I need the washroom like right now! Just do it!”
Tiffany exclaimed and stood up, walking hurriedly to the door but was stopped when Jessica spoke up.
“Erm… what’s her number?”
Tiffany turned around and stared at Jessica blankly for a moment.
“You don’t remember?”
“She didn’t tell me her number.”
Jessica stared right back at Tiffany with the same blank expression.
Tiffany heaved another sigh and pursed her lips tightly. She doesn’t know why but it felt extremely hurtful to tell Jessica this.
Is this what misunderstanding and miscommunication caused?
“She never changed her number Jess… it’s… still the same as five years ago.”
A glint of surprised was present in Jessica’s eyes. It has never come across her mind that Taeyeon still remained her number because after a year of waiting for Taeyeon to contact her but to no avail, Jessica had clenched her teeth hard and squeezed her eyes shut tightly as she deleted Taeyeon’s contact.
Like how she wanted to delete Taeyeon’s presence in her life.
But it was all in vain because she found herself keying the numbers she had well-memorized over the years in her phone.
“I see…”
Tiffany then whispered out softly when she noticed the downcast look on Jessica’s face and shook her head softly. She had to do something to help the two of them.
And the only way to help was to speak the truth.
And truth, did she speak.
“She’s hoping that one day… you’d call back you know? That’s why she refused to change her number.”
Tiffany turned around and went out of the room, the door clicked softly as it was closed and Jessica took a deep breath shakily before rolling her eyes and stared out of the window. The tears were threatening to fall out of her eyes and she bit her quivering lips hardly.
“Stupid Taengoo.”
She muttered out softly as tears dripped out of her eyes uncontrollably. Taeyeon always do this cheesy thing to her. And Jessica hated it as much as she loved it.
The tears continued to fall from her eyes and Jessica wiped it away harshly.
But the tears won’t stop falling.
Like how she realized, that she won’t stop falling for Taeyeon too.
She wiped her tears away harder and yet, she knows.
Deep in her heart she knows, that the love she has for Taeyeon four years ago and now could never be wiped away at all.
-
Hi Taeyeon? It’s Jessica here. Tiff and I are going out together.
With a sigh, Taeyeon stared at the unknown number for a while before saving it in her contact. She should have known, shouldn’t she? Jessica ought to change her number. Just like how Jessica thought she ought to leave her because she didn’t love her at all.
Mistakes.
Misunderstanding.
Miscommunication.
Missing.
And Taeyeon wondered how much more of Jessica has she missed out on? Five years ago, three years ago and right now, just how much will she continue to miss out on?
The vibration of her phone made her snapped out of her reverie and she glanced down at the screen. With a slight smile, she picked up her phone as she stood up from where she was and went to her office.
Once she was away from all the noises her workers are producing due to the repairing, she answered her phone.
“Hello?”
“Taeng? Yul here.”
“Yeah, I know. How did it go?”
“It went smooth. You can bring her over to me for her check-up. I’m sorry about the delay though.”
Taeyeon nodded her head and continued to smile lightly at the apologetic voice over the other end.
“It’s fine. I did monitor her condition every night when she’s asleep. She’s doing fine and so is the baby.”
Taeyeon replied and heard a soft sigh over the other side.
“That’s great then. How’s the baby’s heartbeat then?”
“So far so good and I hope it continues to be normal.”
Taeyeon replied and Yuri hummed back in response.
“So, bring her in tomorrow and I’ll give her a thorough check-up to make sure both of them are perfectly fine. Not that I don’t trust your skills but -“
“I know Yuri. You’re rambling now. You are the specialist. You have all the equipments for it so relax okay?”
“Well, but you are the heart specialist. You are from the cardio department. This should be your case.”
Taeyeon closed her eyes tightly when she heard Yuri’s words, knowing what’s going to take place the next instance. It’s has always been like this.
“I’m not in there anymore, Yul. I’ve said -”
“Then get the hell back. Come back here and do your job. It’s never your fault in the first place!”
“It’s my fault! Everyone knows it’s my fault!”
“It’s not yours! Someone set you up! You should know better than it! Even the Director feels so!”
“Then prove it to me Yuri. Prove the hell of it to me!”
“And if I do, will you come back?”
Taeyeon inhaled deeply and clutched the phone in her hand tighter.
“We’ll see.”
She replied behind clenched teeth and exhaled deeply.
“I’ve - things to do. I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks and… sorry.”
“Taeng…”
“No Yul. No. Just… just leave it, please? This is not my priority anymore for now. I’m happy with right now and I have no intend to change it yet. So please, just let me be okay?”
She heard Yuri heaving a sigh at the other end and the heaviness of it made her cringed badly.
“Okay then. Sorry and see you tomorrow.”
“Thanks.”
Taeyeon placed the phone down back to her pocket and groaned loudly. She placed her hands on the table and covered her face with her palms before muffling her screams and clutched her hair hardly with her fingers.
It’s so suffocating. Everything that is happening around her is so suffocating that she can’t feel anything anymore.
She couldn’t breathe.
She couldn’t feel.
She couldn’t do anything.
With a loud grunt, she banged her fists on the table and stood up harshly, making her chair pushed back to the cabinet with a loud bang.
With haggard breaths, she inhaled deeply and stared hard at her table top. This feeling is so familiar.
With clutched fists, she closed her eyes tightly, refusing to let her tears fall freely.
It feels like she was back to the day where Jessica left her, the day where the operation failed, the day where she cheated on her.
“Damn it. Fuck all of this!”
Taeyeon cursed under her breathe and inhaled deeply, as if trying to inhale all her emotions back into where it’s supposed to be - deep in her heart. And she succeeded after a few deep breaths.
Soft chuckles traveled to her ears and she looked up instinctively. From her office, she saw Tiffany and Jessica walking past the entrance of the garage, heading to the direction where SooYoung was waiting in the car for them.
She stared at the cold angular face that seemed so warm and breath-taking with a smile on it. Her fingernails dug deeper into her palms, breaking skin at the force when Tiffany and Jessica turned around to the direction of her office.
Her breath stopped when she saw Jessica smiling softly at her and waved goodbye to her along with Tiffany.
She continued to watch as the both of them opened the car door and get in but blushed immediately when she saw Jessica turning back to look at her once more.
Awkwardly and embarrassed, she cracked a small awkward smile to Jessica and watched as the girl hesitated to enter the car.
The next moment she knew, Jessica was already standing at her office door.
“I’ll see you tonight, text me if you need anything? Bye.”
Jessica said softly and looked at Taeyeon shyly. It reminded Taeyeon how much she missed hearing this sentence badly from Jessica when the latter used to go out with Tiffany alone.
“S - sure. B - bye.”
And with that, Jessica left.
Taeyeon then exhaled the breath that she had been holding unknowingly shakily when the car drove off.
“Please remember to come back, SooYeon?”
She whispered to no one in particular. When SooYoung’s car was long gone but SooYeon’s scent still lingering in her area.
“Please come back… I don’t want to miss you or anything about you anymore.”
Please.
A/N: I'm very sorry about the late updates. I have no excuses or reason. Just plain laziness and trying to make the plot perfect a little. Sorry for the long wait and thank you for the comments. :)