(Untitled)

[onidoko]

Chapter List

♣ Cover Page: (Warnings, Disclaimers, etc.)
♦ Chapter o1: His name
♥ Chapter o2: One week later
♠ Chapter o3: The walk
♥ Chapter o4: A lawyer?
♣ Chapter o5: When I awoke
♦ Chapter o6: My habit
♠ Chapter o7: You know my methods
♥ Chapter o8: Cause to remember
♣ Chapter o9: A dark and stormy night
♦ Chapter 1o: Ridiculous as it sounds♠

Comments

Like a fever dream... (part 1)

[annetaylor1980]

I've never read any pastiche that comes close to rivaling this one for sheer brilliance. It was utterly terrifying in a way that I find difficult to understand. The fear came right out of the pages of the story and followed me ever after I stopped reading...odd. Of course, I must confess that part of that may have been because I'm on my fourth day of chemo and the chemicals are inflaming my brain, maybe not the best time to read a story quite so surreal.

In any case, I was riveted all the way through. I didn't understand half of what was going on, but that seemed appropriate. It was that sort of story, the kind that it seems clear only a Holmesian mind could follow. What was clear was that this was a peril that went beyond the physical, into the reaches of the mind. I found it fascinating the way you wove in other mythologies and fandoms (Usagi and Peter Pan) and teased readers with the changing reality of your story. One moment the story was reality, and the next we were pulled back and suddenly aware that it was being written by someone outside the scope of the action.

>The drug is the gateway, though; as long as there remains a probable explanation for my existence, his
>mind can relax its defensive perimeter enough to accept what it is I’ve come to say.

I loved the introduction of the Cheshire Cat as a means of inserting Holmes into the Game, and the completely understandable knowledge that drugs would be required for his first step. Children are prepared to play games, Holmes has left that behind. And yet he will be required to enter into some aspects of that childish mind-set in order to join the reality where the Game is being played.

>I consider warning Holmes not to peer out the windows, because even drugged, even dreaming, even his
>mind is not capable of comprehending the vast, lonely nothingness that lives outside. Fortunately,
>there are other things to engage his curiosity.

Oddly, this is one of the lines in your story that stands out the most for me. This single image of the unimaginable peril that lies just outside Holmes' perceptions. It highlights the gentle admiration that the cat seems to have for him at times, almost a little protective.

>I may occasionally knock over one or two objects that aren’t even remotely in my path; what can I say?
>The noise makes Holmes skittish where nothing else has, and I find this amusing.

The Cheshire Cat had so many great moments. I loved the duality of his interest in Holmes. Very catlike; he wanted to simultaneously torment and rub up against Holmes' legs.

>Clever man - Holmes worked out the bit about the trains all by himself. Don’t feel bad if you didn’t;
>he is really rather smart.

I thought it interesting and clever how the Cheshire formed a bridge between the story and the readers, how he seemed so aware, not only of who the characters in the story are, but also of who the readers are, the sort of readers who would be reading this kind of story and when he speaks to you, you feel that he is peering out from the story, looking directly at you.

>But whatever’s to happen in the days ahead, all you really need to remember is this: He is afraid. He
>is uncertain. He doubts his own sanity.
>And none of that stops him from getting on the train.

Lovely characterization