good news
Yesterday was definitely the longest day of my life.
I woke up at 4:30 and said a very hard goodbye to my mom before she left for her surgery. It was too quick and I didn't get to hug her as long as I would have liked, but at least I got to tell her I loved her. My bus came, and I went to school, and it was awful. I can't lie. I kept getting way too emotional, I couldn't concentrate because - of course - my heart and mind were with my mother and not with my chemistry class, y'know? On top of it all, I have a cold, and that always adds insult to injury, doesn't it?
My sister picked me up at two, and we went up to the hospital to wait with my dad. My uncle was there too. Hospitals suck. I hate the atmosphere. And just. . . sitting in the waiting room, which was freezing cold, waiting for news. . . not a pleasant experience. I really thought I was going to wind up screaming or something. And you can't help the what if's either, they keep parading through your brain and fuck. It's awful. Fucking awful.
Finally, at eight o' clock that night, the surgeon called for the final update - she made it through. No complications either. The best part - the cancer is completely gone. Completely. My mother is a cancer survivor. They removed every bit of it. There was some around the vein of the pancreas, and the surgeon said that part was scary and if they had waited another month or two, she would have been inoperable. But God is so good, because the surgery is over and so is the cancer. After twelve, exactly twelve, hours of surgery, her cancer is gone. Both my mother and the surgeon amaze me. But my mother more so.
She's in recovery now. She'll remain in the Intensive Care Unit for another three days. She's hopped up on drugs and not really awake, but I was able to see her last night when they were wheeling her from the operating room to her recovery room. She looked better than expected, and she said my name. Isn't she amazing? Now I'm getting emotional again, but I'm so relieved that the surgery went well. We could have lost her yesterday. That was a major possibility, and I realize that more now than I did when it was happening, and the relief. . . I don't know.
Recovery is going to be rocky. Twelve hour surgery. . . it's gotta be right? She's got a long, rough road ahead, but she's tough and brave and strong and filled with so much faith, and I know she's gonna be okay. She made it this far. Wow, I don't know.
Just. . . your continued prayers/support mean a lot, guys. Thank you so much for your positive thoughts and wishes yesterday, I know they played a major role in how well everything truly went. But please, continue to send them my family's way. Like I said, my mom's still got a ways to go, and my father is about ready to collaspe with exhaustion. He hasn't left her side since she was moved to her recovery room, meaning he has officially been at the hospital now thirty-six hours. And counting. He's amazing too, and he needs prayer too. As the rest of my family does.