(no subject)

[211195]

Because I have family and friends, that's why I am still alive and breathing.
Feeling so dead inside. I can't even feel much nowadays. It is all on the surface.
I don't want to burst out crying...

I really can't forget whatever that happened this year so far. It is too much for me.
It is so painful that I can't move on. I have tried to distract myself and all.
But I guess it is not enough because it broke me as a person.

I don't want to know what it's like to be in love anymore.
It is a painful feeling. I don't even want people to get too close to me...
because I'm such an emotional freak that rant about how bad I feel deep inside...

I don't want to confide in people and then have them break me again.
I confided everything in someone I trusted most but end up, it got broken in the most tragic way.
Of course, I'm still trusting but I really don't want to torn into pieces.

Also, I don't want history to repeat...
I have such poor luck.

Everything gets worser and worser.
The wound just gets deeper and deeper.
It hasn't even healed, not even partially... And it got torn open again...