GYAH!
OH GOD OH GOD. Phobias bad! Yet apparently entirely sensible!
Okay, so, five minutes ago: I looked down and there was this SPIDER crawling under my desk, only it was the exact same colour as the carpet so you could only see it when it was moving. So I went "Aah! Aaah!" and dashed walked composedly out of my room, whereupon I ran into Ally, our cool student rep. And I said: "Hi how are you there's a spider in my room."
Ally: Oh, really? Let me see. Oh, that's - um. Fuck, I'm going to get a boy.
[Ally comes back with unnamed, lanky boy with no fear of disgusting arachnids.]
Boy: Where is it?
Me: RIGHT THERE NEXT TO YOUR FOOT.
Boy: Oh. Ooh, that's a white-tip.
Me: A what?
Ally: Oh, they're poisonous!
Me: *SHRIEK*
Boy: I'll need some paper...
[Find self standing on couch in common-room, mortified.]
Boy: [crumpled paper in hand] Killed it.
Ally: God, you feel like such a girly-girl when this stuff happens, don't you? But it's bad enough how many of them you swallow in your sleep...
Me: ...
Ally: Oh... didn't you know that? Like, little money-spiders - they crawl into your mouth and die and you swallow them.
Me: STOP TALKING NOW.
Okay, so, five minutes ago: I looked down and there was this SPIDER crawling under my desk, only it was the exact same colour as the carpet so you could only see it when it was moving. So I went "Aah! Aaah!" and dashed walked composedly out of my room, whereupon I ran into Ally, our cool student rep. And I said: "Hi how are you there's a spider in my room."
Ally: Oh, really? Let me see. Oh, that's - um. Fuck, I'm going to get a boy.
[Ally comes back with unnamed, lanky boy with no fear of disgusting arachnids.]
Boy: Where is it?
Me: RIGHT THERE NEXT TO YOUR FOOT.
Boy: Oh. Ooh, that's a white-tip.
Me: A what?
Ally: Oh, they're poisonous!
Me: *SHRIEK*
Boy: I'll need some paper...
[Find self standing on couch in common-room, mortified.]
Boy: [crumpled paper in hand] Killed it.
Ally: God, you feel like such a girly-girl when this stuff happens, don't you? But it's bad enough how many of them you swallow in your sleep...
Me: ...
Ally: Oh... didn't you know that? Like, little money-spiders - they crawl into your mouth and die and you swallow them.
Me: STOP TALKING NOW.