(no subject)
*yesterday i was in heaven. i could've sworn i was.. my world came crashing down when i woke up this morning and realized my heaven couldn't last. my heaven "wouldn't work". foolish of me to believe there could be a heaven on earth*
*i hate reality. i hate the way things "have to be" and all the bullshit reasons they aren't the way they "should be". God forgive me if i made the biggest mistake of my life when i chose to give my heart away like that. i'm sorry if it wasn't right, or it wasn't meant to be.. but damnit i loved him. i loved him then , just as much as i do right now. just as much as i will tomorrow, and the next day, and the day ater that.. and probably 2 years down the road.
*if i was wrong, i'm not sorry. i'll never be sorry. he was one of the best things to have ever happened to me. i found love with him. the kind of love that people only dream about.. God, you above anyone should know it was real. you know my heart. and you know my soul- and you've heard my millions of prayers begging for your help to make it work.
*you know i don't regret being with him; loving him.. you KNOW it. and you know that if i could, i'd do it ALL again -without a second's hesitation (without guilt, and without any regrets) as a matter of fact, i wish i could do JUST THAT! let me never ask another thing of you, but to give me that chance again.. i may be young, but i am not naive.. i have experienced what only a handful of the prople in this world have experienced. i KNOW love, and i live with the fact that i might never have that same feeling with anyone else, every day. i do not believe in fairytales, Lord- but i do believe in following your heart. and if i ahve to pay the price for that through the rest of my life.. so be it. i will never look back on the time i spent with him as a "mistake". despite what my family or friends think or say or do.. none of them can judge what they do not know - and REALLY know.
*they haven't felt the feelings i have felt. cried the tears that i have cried.
they haven't gone through hundreds of sleepless nights like i have.
they haven't looked at life the way i have- because he opened my eyes to something new.
they haven't held on as tightly as i have, or suffered through each and everyday HURTING the way that i have hurt... the kind of hurt that makes it painful to breathe; to wake up; to look at someone you used to know and find that you don't know a thing anymore...
tell me i can love and not hold back- that i can have no fear of tomorrow.
tell me i can breathe again...
*i hate reality. i hate the way things "have to be" and all the bullshit reasons they aren't the way they "should be". God forgive me if i made the biggest mistake of my life when i chose to give my heart away like that. i'm sorry if it wasn't right, or it wasn't meant to be.. but damnit i loved him. i loved him then , just as much as i do right now. just as much as i will tomorrow, and the next day, and the day ater that.. and probably 2 years down the road.
*if i was wrong, i'm not sorry. i'll never be sorry. he was one of the best things to have ever happened to me. i found love with him. the kind of love that people only dream about.. God, you above anyone should know it was real. you know my heart. and you know my soul- and you've heard my millions of prayers begging for your help to make it work.
*you know i don't regret being with him; loving him.. you KNOW it. and you know that if i could, i'd do it ALL again -without a second's hesitation (without guilt, and without any regrets) as a matter of fact, i wish i could do JUST THAT! let me never ask another thing of you, but to give me that chance again.. i may be young, but i am not naive.. i have experienced what only a handful of the prople in this world have experienced. i KNOW love, and i live with the fact that i might never have that same feeling with anyone else, every day. i do not believe in fairytales, Lord- but i do believe in following your heart. and if i ahve to pay the price for that through the rest of my life.. so be it. i will never look back on the time i spent with him as a "mistake". despite what my family or friends think or say or do.. none of them can judge what they do not know - and REALLY know.
*they haven't felt the feelings i have felt. cried the tears that i have cried.
they haven't gone through hundreds of sleepless nights like i have.
they haven't looked at life the way i have- because he opened my eyes to something new.
they haven't held on as tightly as i have, or suffered through each and everyday HURTING the way that i have hurt... the kind of hurt that makes it painful to breathe; to wake up; to look at someone you used to know and find that you don't know a thing anymore...
tell me i can love and not hold back- that i can have no fear of tomorrow.
tell me i can breathe again...