[Haruno Sakura] [sireensilver]
Title: 20 Truths About Haruno Sakura On Her Happy Days (or, Haruno Sakura: Feminine Woes)
Author: sireensilver
Character/Pairing/Group: Haruno Sakura (and her changing body)
Rating: K+ to T.
Disclaimer/Notes/Whatever: Here's something different. Get ready for a different kind of Hormonal!Sakura and a part bemused part confused part fearful Team 7. If you aren't a certain age of female, or not properly educated on puberty, you probably won't get what's going on. Har. Somewhat cracky and very barely grazes pairings if you squint.
♥
1. Being the only girl in a team really does suck on certain days, and Sakura is living proof.
2. It can also suck for the teammates, because all kunoichi have a bag of weapons to go with their PMS.
3. Sakura once burst into tears in the middle of a training session and dropped the kunai she was holding. Naruto had tackled Sasuke, thinking that “the bastard did something again”, while the latter was so confused about it that Naruto actually got a punch in. Only Kakashi and his super non-sharingan ninja eye noticed that she burst into tears because she dropped the kunai.
4. She later tried to convince herself that the tears were due to the fact that she was overwhelmed because she was finally training with Sasuke actually sparring with her one-on-one, but even in her head it sounded stupid.
5. Training is pretty bad when coinciding with those days, but missions are worse because they almost always have to sleep within close proximity of each other. And both Naruto and Kakashi have heightened senses of smell.
6. When things are particularly stressful, Inner Sakura comes out to play. Naruto and Sasuke, after meeting her just once, have dubbed her “The Hormonal Effect”.
7. Out of Kakashi, Sasuke, and Naruto, Naruto is the one who is most unclear with what exactly goes on every month. This unfortunately means he is insensitive, and thus almost always on the receiving end of her wrath.
8. Sakura tends to let her words hit below the belt whenever it’s that time. She once grew so irritated at her teammates’ arguing that she remarked, “Don’t go confessing your love now, Naruto, or you’ll find yourself knocked out and you’ll wake up on a bench.”
9. Another time she just growled, “Get a ROOM!”
10. She beats Naruto up when he so much as thinks the words ‘Sasuke is a bastard’, but when she’s done she pummels Sasuke too because he is (admittedly) an ass.
11. When she’s not violent, she cries, and none of them admit aloud that they like her better violent.
12. If Sasuke wasn’t afraid of her before, he certainly was after she accidentally chucked a tampon at him thinking it was a shuriken.
13. There was a moment of stunned silence before a moment of horrified silence, and then they both turned in opposite directions to run. They did not look at each other again for weeks. To this day, Naruto does not fully realize what happened, because Kakashi still refuses to teach him anything like that.
14. Kakashi once proceeded on the dim theory that a bit of alcohol might cancel out the ill humor that came with the visitor. (He was honestly hoping she’d just pass out and spare them for a day or two.)
15. Instead, she blinked blearily at him, frowned, and asked quite LOUDLY for the whole bar to hear whether he was trying to get her drunk to get into her panties. Kakashi sputtered and then Naruto laughed himself sick.
16. Sasuke actually laughed, too, until Sakura turned to him and asked whether or not he was secretly asexual, since he was so “freakin’ disinterested” and all. Then she passed out. Kakashi had the gall to say that at least she’d be past her third day by the time she woke up.
17. When she woke up, she beat them to the ground anyway.
18. Naruto, while the most likely to provoke her during the time, is also the most likely to know how to make it up to her. Even if ninety percent of the time it will have to do with ramen, it’s still sweeter than Sasuke and Kakashi, who choose to simply get out of the way.
19. Right before she hits that time every month, Sakura eats more than Sasuke and Kakashi put together.
20. Naruto commented on it once... and he never did it again.
Author: sireensilver
Character/Pairing/Group: Haruno Sakura (and her changing body)
Rating: K+ to T.
Disclaimer/Notes/Whatever: Here's something different. Get ready for a different kind of Hormonal!Sakura and a part bemused part confused part fearful Team 7. If you aren't a certain age of female, or not properly educated on puberty, you probably won't get what's going on. Har. Somewhat cracky and very barely grazes pairings if you squint.
♥
1. Being the only girl in a team really does suck on certain days, and Sakura is living proof.
2. It can also suck for the teammates, because all kunoichi have a bag of weapons to go with their PMS.
3. Sakura once burst into tears in the middle of a training session and dropped the kunai she was holding. Naruto had tackled Sasuke, thinking that “the bastard did something again”, while the latter was so confused about it that Naruto actually got a punch in. Only Kakashi and his super non-sharingan ninja eye noticed that she burst into tears because she dropped the kunai.
4. She later tried to convince herself that the tears were due to the fact that she was overwhelmed because she was finally training with Sasuke actually sparring with her one-on-one, but even in her head it sounded stupid.
5. Training is pretty bad when coinciding with those days, but missions are worse because they almost always have to sleep within close proximity of each other. And both Naruto and Kakashi have heightened senses of smell.
6. When things are particularly stressful, Inner Sakura comes out to play. Naruto and Sasuke, after meeting her just once, have dubbed her “The Hormonal Effect”.
7. Out of Kakashi, Sasuke, and Naruto, Naruto is the one who is most unclear with what exactly goes on every month. This unfortunately means he is insensitive, and thus almost always on the receiving end of her wrath.
8. Sakura tends to let her words hit below the belt whenever it’s that time. She once grew so irritated at her teammates’ arguing that she remarked, “Don’t go confessing your love now, Naruto, or you’ll find yourself knocked out and you’ll wake up on a bench.”
9. Another time she just growled, “Get a ROOM!”
10. She beats Naruto up when he so much as thinks the words ‘Sasuke is a bastard’, but when she’s done she pummels Sasuke too because he is (admittedly) an ass.
11. When she’s not violent, she cries, and none of them admit aloud that they like her better violent.
12. If Sasuke wasn’t afraid of her before, he certainly was after she accidentally chucked a tampon at him thinking it was a shuriken.
13. There was a moment of stunned silence before a moment of horrified silence, and then they both turned in opposite directions to run. They did not look at each other again for weeks. To this day, Naruto does not fully realize what happened, because Kakashi still refuses to teach him anything like that.
14. Kakashi once proceeded on the dim theory that a bit of alcohol might cancel out the ill humor that came with the visitor. (He was honestly hoping she’d just pass out and spare them for a day or two.)
15. Instead, she blinked blearily at him, frowned, and asked quite LOUDLY for the whole bar to hear whether he was trying to get her drunk to get into her panties. Kakashi sputtered and then Naruto laughed himself sick.
16. Sasuke actually laughed, too, until Sakura turned to him and asked whether or not he was secretly asexual, since he was so “freakin’ disinterested” and all. Then she passed out. Kakashi had the gall to say that at least she’d be past her third day by the time she woke up.
17. When she woke up, she beat them to the ground anyway.
18. Naruto, while the most likely to provoke her during the time, is also the most likely to know how to make it up to her. Even if ninety percent of the time it will have to do with ramen, it’s still sweeter than Sasuke and Kakashi, who choose to simply get out of the way.
19. Right before she hits that time every month, Sakura eats more than Sasuke and Kakashi put together.
20. Naruto commented on it once... and he never did it again.