Cardcaptor Sakura, #2, Has No End
Title: Has No End
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Pairing: Daidouji Tomoyo/Kinomoto Sakura
Author: rhap_chan
Artist: sky_pirate_tat
Theme Set: Dark themes, #2
Rating: PG
Warnings/Spoilers: shojo ai
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to CLAMP.
Summary: Tomoyo sees Sakura off at the airport. Friends forever, right? This is how it will always be.
She's leaving today with him, her bags packed and Kero stuffed with enough sweets to keep him quiet for the flight. There's an engagement ring on her finger, a little golden circle with three square diamonds that I helped Li-kun pick out. She loved it, of course.
The same day I helped him find a ring and coached him through a beautiful speech that came out awkward, of course, in front of Sakura, not that she minded, I went back to the store and bought a ring myself, a thin silver band to wear on my own left hand after she left.
An engagement band, a wedding band--they represent constancy, love, commitment. A promise ring is a prequel to those things, or sometimes something special for oneself, a way to keep oneself waiting. This ring is a promise to myself, like the teddy bears were their promise.
The circle of this ring is broken, a slice through the metal where a larger woman than I had had the ring cut off her finger, and then decided she didn't like it. In anticipation of her return, they hadn't repaired the damage, so they could resize it, but it fits me perfectly. The cut digs into the underside of my pale finger as a reminder. I don't want it fixed. The man at the store thinks I am crazy, but I don't care.
There is a little friendship rhyme I know that the American twins down the street from me used to sing when they skipped rope. It is a sweet song.
Make new friends but keep the old,
one is silver and the other's gold.
A circle is round and has no end,
that's how long I want to be your friend.
One is silver and the other is gold, and we know which is more valuable, right?
My train of thought is interrupted by my arrival at the airport. I spot her as soon as I walked into the terminal-- who could miss that happy, glowing girl? She's been walking on air ever since Li-kun stumbled through his proposal and she gave him her answer. And if my feet are a little heavier these days, who would notice?
I fit the smile to my face carefully and then run to meet them. Sakura wraps me in a hug, glad that I can make it. She doesn't notice the ring, too caught up in her own excitement.
I am sad to lose her, this irreplacable girl that I cherish most in the world, but I was not lying when I told her once that her happiness was my happiness. I am glad for her, even though I want to cry a little, and I clutch onto the gladness and hope I can make it through goodbyes.
She looks so beautiful in the traveling costume I made for her, and little Kero is handsome in his matching vest. Syaoran's eyes are bright, a reflection of his fiancee's. I have never hated him for taking her away from me. How could I hate someone who makes Sakura so happy? He hugs me too, a tight embrace, and a gruff "thank you" is whispered into my ear. I nod.
Then she gives her farewells to her father and Yukito and her brother, who is crying a little, but doesn't seem to notice. She hugs me again, promising to write and call and visit--
The ring digs into my finger, reminding me that I can never say the words I want to say. They have no place in her life.
When finally they walk away, hand in hand, her ring finger glinting in the light, she turns back for a moment and waves and of course I smile. I love her, after all.
The circle is round, and has no end, and that's how long I want to be your friend.
