(no subject)
Why is it that every time I get my haircut the ladies always try to rape my head with hair gel? By now they should know that I won't let that crap touch my scalp. If I were to use common sense, I'd conclude that these women are just doing their job, but my ego tells a different story. According to Sabastion (that's my ego's name. I had to name him, my ego demanded it)... anyway, my ego believes that the girls at Overpriced Haircuts are trying to turn me gay as a way of justifying why I won't sleep with any of them. They obviously want my body, I can tell by the way their nipples clean out my ears as they hover about me. But I never show any interest, and they can't handle it. Rather than simply accepting that I might not desire them, they'd instead prefer to fag me all up with hair gel until I had no choice but to suck a cock, just so they could feel better about being rejected. That's my ego's theory, and I tend to believe it. Am I a sexy hunk of man? Yes. Do men who use hair gel eventually become homosexuals? Yes. Is it easier for a woman to say "He's gay" than it is for them to say "He thinks I look like a baby seal.... after the clubbing."? Yes. All the pieces fit. End of story.