god backward

Mar 02, 2010 01:18

"Oh my goodness! You have built-in auto-tune! You better stop that mechanical crying soon!"
( Original / PG / incomplete )

1.

It was 4:44 am exactly the morning Missouri's television decided to talk to her. This is how it happened:

It was cold. It was February. She was bundled up on the couch, layered in pillows, wrapped up in rainbow-colored woolen blankets like some kind of space-alien grandmother's idea of a holiday present. Perched on the tv tray in front of her were the dvd player remote, cable remote, and a cold glass bottle of Coke. Missouri briefly considered getting up to turn up the heat, but decided changing the channel from the shopping network to the extreme sports network was more prudent.

"Look at that!" she said to nobody in particular. "Motocross is on. I enjoy motocross. It's never on."

"Because if I wanted to illuminate a bunch of dirty, sweating, meatheaded boys using the quickly decaying years of my plasma, I'd have let myself be sold to a sports bar," the tv responded -- rather particularly to Missouri -- and changed its own channel for once.

Annoyed, Missouri changed the channel back to the Speed Network and glared at her television.

"Don't be a dick," the tv tried one last time and switched itself to C-SPAN.

"I have hands, so I get to make the decisions around here," Missouri asserted and turned the television off. Her Coke had reverted to room-temperature, and she did have responsibilities to shirk in the morning -- responsibilities like checking the mail and eating Doritos.

She went off to bed, and within the week had diligently forgotten all about her dream where televisions preferred 20 karat diamonds and senatorial committees over stuff like having fun.

I don't know, I probably not writing any more of this because mostly I just need to not be belligerent towards my tv and stop listening to Major Lazer after 12 am.

in progress, fic: original

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