I want to create another person inside of me and then vanish from myself, becoming a my-life-watcher
I want to become another person. Literally, another person living my life. I want to perish myself. Not to perish, exactly. To perish from controlling my body and my thoughts. But I want to still watch the life from inside, while a new person will control all this.
I want this person to have the qualities I wanted to have but lacked. I want to drop all the responsibilities that prevent me from doing what I want to do. I want just to watch.
Somehow this person will be me. But basically it will not. It'll be me because it will consist of what I wanted to create for myself, of what I decide him to have. It'll not be me because I won't be able to control any of his actions. I create him, he creates me.
The first thing this person will have is a joy. He will enjoy himself. All his skills, all his success, himself basically. All that I probably did years ago, but can't afford to do now.
The second thing is that he will be consistent. By that I mean that he will have meaning under his every moment, every action, every thought. And I mean every, no single exception. This corresponds to joy, I believe, but that is not the point. He'll just control the window of life that he has in order to do what is most meaningful to him, and that is consistent. But he would never do something that makes him feel displeasure. He will think of a way of going through obstacles though, but he won't act until he finds an appropriate decision. He has what he has, life is what it is. And he is who he is. So, no „over-straining“ in pursuing what he doesn't have. Just operating with what he has.
These are two basic things about him: he controls only what he has, and he always enjoys it. No single exception.
The third basic thing that I can state is that he is ABSOLUTELY independent. Independent of what I was. Independent of what people will think of him. Independent of people. He is just an entity inside of my body, my thoughts, my life. He has his qualities, and nothing else. A life is like a game to him. Yes, this is the synonym for the „independence“. No personal responsibility. No fears. Nothing personal. Just a picture of life, and actions applied to it. He acts like a player: he has my body, my thoughts, my life. He has his qualities: he wants himself to be successful on a game of life. This means that he wants things meaningful to him to be advanced, upgraded, reached. And the things meaningful to him I give him from ... my personality, I believe. The things are the following. He wants to create a better world around him. He wants to make life of people who surround him better. Actually, he has a beautiful world, beautiful picture of the real world inside of him, and he always wants to implement it to the real world, denying the imperfection that might have found a place in this world. He denies it, and proves that the world is the place that he always imagined.
But this doesn't make him weak. He always seeks to create his new better world around of him, but he IS independent, and he can play all kind of games. Including ones that make him dangerous. There are no boundaries to what he can do. Although there are calculations that make some ways undesirable to him. But this comes from his decisions, not from boundaries: he has none.
So, he's right here, right now. He always is what I've described, and that's the basic thing about him. His life may be anything, but he will always remain himself, the same himself that I described.
Another concrete thing about him (after wanting the world to be a better place, and having no boundaries) is that he would like to have success in music. He enjoys it. And he wants to win some EDM games, putting himself to the highest popularity positions.
His life is not him. Whatever surrounds him, it's only a component to fill the space of his life. But his life is not him. Whether it's shitty or wonderful. He always feel wonderful, because he is himself.
All that happened is facts. No good things, no bad things. Just facts that he operates with.
The next concrete thing is that he loves understanding human nature, human soul, human need and interactions, and the Universe structure as well! He loves to know how and why, and to know it better every day. He also loves to try new stuff, and become to know new things that concern human or Universe nature as well.
He would like to have love in his life. He would like to be sincere. He is powerful, he feels so. He's independent. He also loves programming, creating new worlds: models, maybe games. So he could also become a good developer and create something that he wants and that will give him money and popularity.
He loves challenge and winning, being the best.
---
So these are the traits of the personality that I would like to create in myself, and then let it run my body, my thoughts, moving me to background, from where I can calmly watch him, his life, his actions, in some kind his thoughts.
Once again.
Basic qualities:
1. Being himself: Controlling only what he has
2. Consistency: always doing meaningful things to him, always thinking of what's meaningful to him, always living what's meaningful to him
3. Joy: always enjoying this game, his actions in this life, meaningfulness, himself. Everything.
4. Independence: he's absolutely free of any personal relations and issues. He is always him. All the people related facts are just people related facts. He's independent of every single one.
Concrete qualities:
1. Creating a new world: he has a beautiful representation of a world in his mind, and he always makes the outer world to be the world he sees.
2. His independence makes him also free of any boundaries. If he need to be someone who's dangerous, he'll be. But he'd probably won't use the way of harm, since in most cases it's inappropriate.
3. His independence makes him exist the same regardless of the circumstances that he's in: whether it's people, or interactions with people, or any kind of a fact. He always remains himself. There are no dependencies between him-self and the life he's living (playing) in.
4. He's independent: everything that happened is just facts.
5. He's independent: whatever (shitty or wonderful) life he has, it's just a set of facts. And in every surrounding he still feel wonderful. Because he is himself.
6. He loves music and wants success in it: EDM.
7. He loves understanding human and the Universe itself nature.
8. He loves programming, creating models, and would like to create something on his own using his great abilities and have money and fame from it as well as from music.
9. He would love to make a love in his life.
10. He would like to be sincere.
11. He loves challenges and being the best.
I want this person to have the qualities I wanted to have but lacked. I want to drop all the responsibilities that prevent me from doing what I want to do. I want just to watch.
Somehow this person will be me. But basically it will not. It'll be me because it will consist of what I wanted to create for myself, of what I decide him to have. It'll not be me because I won't be able to control any of his actions. I create him, he creates me.
The first thing this person will have is a joy. He will enjoy himself. All his skills, all his success, himself basically. All that I probably did years ago, but can't afford to do now.
The second thing is that he will be consistent. By that I mean that he will have meaning under his every moment, every action, every thought. And I mean every, no single exception. This corresponds to joy, I believe, but that is not the point. He'll just control the window of life that he has in order to do what is most meaningful to him, and that is consistent. But he would never do something that makes him feel displeasure. He will think of a way of going through obstacles though, but he won't act until he finds an appropriate decision. He has what he has, life is what it is. And he is who he is. So, no „over-straining“ in pursuing what he doesn't have. Just operating with what he has.
These are two basic things about him: he controls only what he has, and he always enjoys it. No single exception.
The third basic thing that I can state is that he is ABSOLUTELY independent. Independent of what I was. Independent of what people will think of him. Independent of people. He is just an entity inside of my body, my thoughts, my life. He has his qualities, and nothing else. A life is like a game to him. Yes, this is the synonym for the „independence“. No personal responsibility. No fears. Nothing personal. Just a picture of life, and actions applied to it. He acts like a player: he has my body, my thoughts, my life. He has his qualities: he wants himself to be successful on a game of life. This means that he wants things meaningful to him to be advanced, upgraded, reached. And the things meaningful to him I give him from ... my personality, I believe. The things are the following. He wants to create a better world around him. He wants to make life of people who surround him better. Actually, he has a beautiful world, beautiful picture of the real world inside of him, and he always wants to implement it to the real world, denying the imperfection that might have found a place in this world. He denies it, and proves that the world is the place that he always imagined.
But this doesn't make him weak. He always seeks to create his new better world around of him, but he IS independent, and he can play all kind of games. Including ones that make him dangerous. There are no boundaries to what he can do. Although there are calculations that make some ways undesirable to him. But this comes from his decisions, not from boundaries: he has none.
So, he's right here, right now. He always is what I've described, and that's the basic thing about him. His life may be anything, but he will always remain himself, the same himself that I described.
Another concrete thing about him (after wanting the world to be a better place, and having no boundaries) is that he would like to have success in music. He enjoys it. And he wants to win some EDM games, putting himself to the highest popularity positions.
His life is not him. Whatever surrounds him, it's only a component to fill the space of his life. But his life is not him. Whether it's shitty or wonderful. He always feel wonderful, because he is himself.
All that happened is facts. No good things, no bad things. Just facts that he operates with.
The next concrete thing is that he loves understanding human nature, human soul, human need and interactions, and the Universe structure as well! He loves to know how and why, and to know it better every day. He also loves to try new stuff, and become to know new things that concern human or Universe nature as well.
He would like to have love in his life. He would like to be sincere. He is powerful, he feels so. He's independent. He also loves programming, creating new worlds: models, maybe games. So he could also become a good developer and create something that he wants and that will give him money and popularity.
He loves challenge and winning, being the best.
---
So these are the traits of the personality that I would like to create in myself, and then let it run my body, my thoughts, moving me to background, from where I can calmly watch him, his life, his actions, in some kind his thoughts.
Once again.
Basic qualities:
1. Being himself: Controlling only what he has
2. Consistency: always doing meaningful things to him, always thinking of what's meaningful to him, always living what's meaningful to him
3. Joy: always enjoying this game, his actions in this life, meaningfulness, himself. Everything.
4. Independence: he's absolutely free of any personal relations and issues. He is always him. All the people related facts are just people related facts. He's independent of every single one.
Concrete qualities:
1. Creating a new world: he has a beautiful representation of a world in his mind, and he always makes the outer world to be the world he sees.
2. His independence makes him also free of any boundaries. If he need to be someone who's dangerous, he'll be. But he'd probably won't use the way of harm, since in most cases it's inappropriate.
3. His independence makes him exist the same regardless of the circumstances that he's in: whether it's people, or interactions with people, or any kind of a fact. He always remains himself. There are no dependencies between him-self and the life he's living (playing) in.
4. He's independent: everything that happened is just facts.
5. He's independent: whatever (shitty or wonderful) life he has, it's just a set of facts. And in every surrounding he still feel wonderful. Because he is himself.
6. He loves music and wants success in it: EDM.
7. He loves understanding human and the Universe itself nature.
8. He loves programming, creating models, and would like to create something on his own using his great abilities and have money and fame from it as well as from music.
9. He would love to make a love in his life.
10. He would like to be sincere.
11. He loves challenges and being the best.