exasperated...
For a a good while now I've been feeling so...lonely. It doesn't seem like you should be able to be in a relationship and have a child and still feel lonley, but I do. Sometimes I don't even feel like Ashley and I are in the same world together. It seems like we talk long enough to run things by each other to make sure they're ok or to state some of the goings on we had or found out in that day. Worst of all when I try to talk to her about how I feel she acts like I'm just exagerating things and trying to make them seem worse than they already are. I don't need to, they're already bad. In some ways I think it was better back when we used to be at each others throats and argue all of the time over things that really needed to be argued over, because at least then it felt *passionate.* At least then we went to bed *touching* each other (unless we were too angry to, but that's another thing. I know that some of it has to do with feeling exhausted all of the time and feeling like we're not always on *schedule* with Nick (because they have a schedule for these things now), but there's more to it than that. We just react to things in different ways. When I'm done watching a movie or playing a video game I can go into deep conversations from what I think they're about all the way to the importance I believe they have in the scheme of the art form. I like reading and taking in large amounts of different kinds of information for no real reason at all. Ashley says she likes doing that, too, but lately seems to rush to the tv before a good article (unless it's in Cosmo-not that that's a bad thing-just not wholly diverse). All I really know is that our wedding is less than a year away and I'm going to need to feel really secure a ways ahead of that time that our relationship actually has the ability to go in a positive direction. If we keep on like we're going now I have no idea what is going to happen, but at the moment I don't feel like we're creating the best environment for Nick (and she's already talking about another one). I am just lost at this point. Thoughts?