RP Log with halfway2heaven | TLC

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It was a few hours later before the dust actually settled and Bella made her way back to see Rick. What she had hoped to be a quiet day turned into anything but. She was tired, and although she actually planned on sticking around until Dave's family arrived, right now, she just needed to sit down and stop for the moment. She needed to see how Rick was doing. He had been left in the dark to just sit on the sidelines while everything exploded, and she was worried about him. Handover told her that Rick had been feeling increasingly sick and was complaining of dizziness, so she told the night doctor she would see him on the next round.

She knocked softly on the door, finding Rick's side of the room illuminated, while Dave's was darkened. There was no curtain pulled, which was a relief for Bella. At the last minute, despite Chris' protests, she wanted the two boys in together. They were family, as far as she was concerned, and they needed each other. Dave was asleep, which was expected after Bella basically drugged him up to the eyeballs on painkillers and valium. It meant Rick and Bella had the room to themselves, though. Her heart was already breaking when she saw how rough Rick looked. She came over to him slowly, holding a cup of tea carefully in her hands and had a teddy bear stuffed under her arm. Her hair, that had been once pulled back in a ponytail, was all over the place still half pulled back, but the rest hanging loosely in her face.


The teddy was a doctor bear, something to try and help him feel a little better, and she placed it carefully on the side of his bed near his hip. "I know you don't feel like having anything, but I want you to try and drink this, sweetheart. It's peppermint tea. It might help the nausea a little," she told him. "You can also ask me anything you want. I'm all yours for now," she added in a promise.

"What colour panties are you wearing?" Rick managed to croak out as he took a deep breath at the sight of the tea and tried to ignore the voice in him screaming that even the tea would just have him throwing up. His lips formed a thin line briefly as he took the cup off of Bella and nursed it carefully in his hands. He really did feel like death warmed up all over again. This was the one thing he never, ever wanted to go through again. As selfish as it was given the next bed over had Dave, a man experiencing his second bout of cancer, Rick just did not want chemo for as long as he wound up living.

"How am I supposed to remember that? I've been lucky to have time to even pee, let alone remember to take note of what knickers I have on," Bella replied and pulled one of the chairs closer to his bedside so she could sit down and take the weight off her feet. It felt like her whole lower half was aching, including her back. That seemed to be her stress centre right now. "I just want to apologise about the room mate if it was too much. It all happened really quickly, and to be honest, I thought it would be the best option for you, for Dave, for Chris. All of you. I actually expected Chris to try and dig his heels in again, but he admitted to Serena he needed to go to bed, so she was smart and latched onto that so he couldn't go back on his word."

Rick smiled slightly in amusement before he sniffed at the tea and took a tentative sip. "You said I could ask anything. I guess that doesn't mean you'll always have the answer. Don't worry about the shuffle, it's fine. It was a bit of a shock when there was suddenly a hive of activity and then Dave was just there. I couldn't work out what was going on, and no one really seemed to want to be forthcoming. I'm assuming that since he's here, not everything is okay. It's fine, Chris should be home resting. He can't be here, can't be looking after everyone all the time while he's still not right. As long as he's being looked after, that's all that matters. I can't imagine how he's feeling knowing me and Dave are both in here, though."

"Just take the tea slowly. I can't promise it will work, but it's worth a try," Bella warned and started to massage her shoulders. "Chris was over in MT1 to see Serena, but while he was apparently sitting and waiting patiently, he confronted Dave as soon as Dave was out of a long surgery. Dave took a bad and got really sick, so they rushed him to the ER. He was vomiting blood. Chris was with him and the whole thing just came out. It's just a classic case that you can't run from cancer, it will catch up with you, and never in a good way. I need to operate ASAP but it might not be tomorrow, like I plan. It depends how stable he is overnight. Of course, it's stressed Chris out and his blood pressure ended up dropping and he nearly passed out on us. It was a huge mess, and it's horrible. But I just wanted to try and contain it as much as I could. You're all like family, so it makes a difference. Dave just... I'm worried he doesn't have the fight this time. He needs everyone around him to help him find it."

Rick gave a small nod as he took another sip and swallowed. "Jesus... So it really is pretty far along. Poor Dave. And poor Chris. I can't even imagine. He must be thinking he really is cursed where Dave is concerned. All he wanted was to be able to talk to his best friend. I know I wasn't that great with Dave, but I still care about him. And I still think he and Chris need each other. He's got no choice but to have everyone around him now. I assume the cat's out of the bag? His family's been told. What about Aimee? Why isn't anyone else here with him?"

Bella nodded a little. "He asked me to tell everyone. He didn't have the strength. Which leads me to believe he wasn't purposefully hiding this. He was just too ill to really function with it. He fell into a dangerous cycle of literally just working and sleeping to the point he didn't have time to see anyone. When he wasn't on shift, he was sleeping because he was so exhausted, and trying to deal with bouts of sickness. Time got away from him. His family are on their way down from Jacksonville, and Serena is going to talk to Aimee. I've asked that he have no visitors but his family tonight. He's extensively medicated, and he wasn't coping emotionally. He told me he was too tired to fight. That's not a good sign. He's not up for visitors. I think he'll bounce back after the surgery, but he doesn't cope well with chemo, either. That's why Chris was worried about you two sharing a room. He was scared you would get freaked out seeing Dave so sick, and that Dave would freak out seeing you going through chemo."

Rick frowned as he listened, running his tongue over his lips to wet them. "But you don't think that? You think we'll help each other." He looked over at Dave passed out cold and tried to think if he agreed with that, or not. Or if he agreed with Chris. He didn't want to make things worse for Dave, that was for sure. Rick still owed him for getting his ass to Miami so he could get the cancer treated properly. Now Dave was the one facing surgery and seriously ill.

Bella sighed. "I don't want him to be alone, Rick," she admitted. "Even if he is unconscious and you don't say a word to each other, I just don't want him to be alone. He's still your brother's friend, and I think being a big brother just extends to this sort of thing. Dave's a big brother himself. He falls easiest into the protector role. When he's the one that needs help, he doesn't know how to just accept it. I think even if he was awake right now, he wouldn't even know what to say to you. But it's better than being alone, and knowing you're alone."

Rick was still looking at Dave as Bella spoke, but he glanced back at her as he took another sip of tea and fell quiet. It really was harder to fall into the role of being the one to need help. As often as he went to Chris to bail him out, it was never as easy for Rick as people assumed. He did it as a last resort. That was why he was latching on now to any chance to help Chris, or protect Chris, that he could. He needed to be the protector again - the big brother. "This really is better than being alone. He'll probably protest about needing a babysitter once he's awake, but deep down... He'd agree too, I think. It's just not always easy asking for what we need. I still can't believe Dave's got cancer again. This is bullshit."

Bella shook her head. "He won't. He doesn't have the fight, Rick. He'll probably be indifferent to the whole thing. I just thought it might give you something to focus on, too. Those last few weeks you were here after the op, having Chris there kept you focused. You watched him, made sure he was okay. I'm not saying that's why I put Dave here, but I do think it will be better for you both. If he can't get to surgery tomorrow, he'll have to wait it out. He's not going to be a pain to have around. He might just be down in the dumps and not feeling great. You would make a good pair."

"Was that some poor doctor humour there?" Rick asked with a slight smile. "How long am I supposed to be in here now, anyway? No one's saying. Before it was just gonna be overnight, but I'm still not feeling so great so I'm going with it being a little longer. Then Dave, he's going to be here longer than me, right? He's gotta have the op and then some chemo."

"It depends how you are. You seem to be okay for the moment. I expected to find you a lot worse, to be honest. You might be okay to go home tomorrow," Bella admitted with a small shrug. "I'll see how you're feeling in the morning to make that call, though. You might be over the worst of it, or you might start feeling crap again. It's the nature of chemo, it can go up and down. He'll be here for a little while. He'll need to recover from the operation before I can start him on the chemo, and I might need to admit him for that, considering how he dealt with it last time. In all of that, we need to watch that wayward brother of yours."

Rick looked at Bella. "Wayward? Chris is the angel of the family. Haven't you worked that out yet? He just can't stand being in hospitals, or being sick. He doesn't like operating at less than genius cowboy level. I know it's frustrating to deal with as a doctor, but it's just how he is. Man, now I'm torn. I kinda want to get out of here and back home, but then I don't want Dave alone if he does get stuck in here. I owe him for what he did for me."

Bella smiled at Rick's defense of his little brother. "He has been a huge pain in our asses and the last thing we want is to get himself sick all over again. I'll admit, I nearly tripped over my own feet when Serena told me Chris had said he needed to go home to bed because he wasn't feeling well. I never expected that. He's been running on empty, and I think having you and Dave down simultaneously has just been the proverbial straw. But there wouldn't have been much he could do tonight anyway. I knew Dave would be out, and I hoped that you would be able to get a bit of sleep, which you wouldn't if you were worried about Chris waning. Serena said she was taking him straight home to bed. He wanted to speak to Dave's family, but even then he couldn't face the wait. For once, his doctor advice for himself was spot on. He really does need to be home in bed. If you need to go home tomorrow, that's okay. It was just tonight I didn't want Dave alone. It's the first blow that always comes the hardest. If he wakes up, there'll be a familiar presence to at least ground him. You're doing more than you realise. And if the going gets tough for you later, too, Dave actually might be able to help you through that too, whether you want it or not. He's been there. He understands how it feels. Sometimes that just helps."

Rick drew his eyebrows together as he just looked at Bella a little doubtfully at the last part. He wasn't sure Dave really did need to be helping him out, but he supposed right then he just had to wait and see. He tried to shake the frown as he shifted against the pillows and took another sip of tea. "I guess maybe you're right about my little brother, but I still say doctors make the worst patients. They'll always be thinking about how they would have done something better, or just assuming that they're fine because nothing can touch them. I'm at least grateful to Serena for being someone that Chris really can admit weakness to. He might not like it, but at least he did admit that he needed to go home and sleep. There are also phones invented for a reason. He can always just call Dave's family, can't he?"

"To be fair, it is unlikely Chris would have made the error that surgeon did on him. He has a right to be bitter. He's one of the top trauma residents in the country. If Proctor doesn't snap him up for a fellowship, some other hospital will. Your brother functions better under pressure. Just not his own family. That's his achilles heel. Serena even mentioned to me that they were worried the reason Chris went down that sink hole was you. That he needed to help someone where he couldn't help you when you left Miami after the cancer diagnosis," Bella told Rick quietly. There was some beeping behind her and she got up to go and check Dave's IV and monitors. He was spiking another fever. At this rate, she wouldn't be opening him up tomorrow. "He could call them, but he won't. This is cancer. Big guns. It's not really an over the phone type of scenario. That's why I felt sorry for your Mom... and I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. I'm just sorry she had to hear you had cancer over the phone."

"I'm just sorry she had to hear it from Serena over the phone," Rick mumbled. Even if he wasn't completely sure what Serena had told his mom. Just that all of a sudden she was there by his bedside. "Chris doesn't want another hospital. He wants this one. He wants MT1. I think it's going to come as a harsh, harsh blow if he finds out he won't get the fellowship he wants. I think it's also another reason he can't really relax. He's still worried about that." Rick watched Bella before he raised his eyebrows a little. "Is Dave okay?"

"It was Drew who told your Mom. Serena was struggling emotionally. I can't talk for Proctor. I would hope he was a decent enough guy to give Chris what he deserves, but at the end of the day, I hear there are a lot of people who would vye for a trauma fellowship here. Hell, even choosing my fellow was a nightmare. There were so many amazing applicants." Bella carefully adjusted Dave's oxygen tubes and then checked over his arms and chest or any strange rashes. She just had to keep an eye on him in all senses. "His temp keeps going up and down. Unless it stablises, I can't operate tomorrow. He'll need monitoring a little longer." She came back over to sit down beside Rick with a small frown. "How are you, anyway? You haven't said. You've evaded quite well. I was only going to let you away with that for so long."

Rick met her gaze with a slightly sheepish smile and shrugged a shoulder. "I hate talking about how I am. It's not like you want to finish work and just hear me whine about the nausea and stuff. I was enjoying just seeing you. At least the tea's staying down. That's a start. Mostly I just feel like I've been run over by a truck. Or hung upside from a chopper and flown around the city. The fact I haven't thrown up once while talking to you seems pretty promising." He reached out for her hand as he brought it up to his lips to kiss the back of it. "I still want to know what colour panties you have on, by the way. It's the little things that get me through. Like thinking about when I'll actually get to take you on a date."

"I'm still your doctor, and you're still going through a serious treatment," Bella told him quietly, even if she was starting to sound like a broken record saying that. She wasn't going to be any help to him if he didn't keep her informed how he was. The colour of her panties weren't going to save his life. "The date will come when you're up to it. Right now, you aren't. I don't think even Serena and Chris have had many dates, so we're not running that far behind the eight ball, you know."

"Well, that makes me feel a little better. Even if I'm waiting for Chris to tell me he's engaged." Rick shifted in the bed again before he huffed out a breath. "Truth is I just want to be able to lie down flat. I'm sick of sitting up, but I don't think it'll be pretty if I choke on my own vomit. It's not even a rock 'n' roll way to go. I'm hot, and sweaty, and just feel restless but don't have the energy to move. That's how I am, Doc."

Bella raised her eyebrows. "You think he's planning to pop the question?" she asked. "And it's not so much a risk of choking on your vomit as giving yourself hernias from heaving. This soon after abdominal surgery, trust me, you won't handle lying flat for too long before you get cramps. You might hate me for saying this, but I'm relieved. You're doing a lot better than I expected. You probably didn't need to be kept overnight, but at least I can keep you on some fluids here. Plus, your Mom doesn't have to worry extensively overnight thinking you're in good hands."

Rick picked up the doctor teddy and looked at it properly. "I think he's not going to find anyone like Serena. He's probably not going to pop the question right now, but he'd be crazy if he didn't. She's good for him. She's everything Chris deserves. She just seems to get him, and he needs that. Hey, you say that now, but you don't know my Mom. She's probably still worrying."

"Well, I can't deny any of that. Marriage is a big next step, though, and not everyone even wants it." Bella went back to trying to massage her shoulders to relieve some of the tension. She glanced back behind her at Dave to make sure everything was still in order. "Of course she's worrying. I mean this in the nicest possible way, but I hope my baby is nothing like you or Chris. I wouldn't have the strength your Mom does to put up with all the crap you come up with. I'd want to lock you in a box and never let you out of my sight."

Rick pressed his lips together as he fought an urge to complain about not being able to be the one to give Bella a shoulder rub. Instead he just nodded in agreement. "Well, sure. I know that. They haven't even really had a chance to live together. Things went ass up when they were ready to try. For all we know they'll find out they can't live together. And hey, no offence taken. I really hope my kid is nothing like me either."

"Or Serena will just give him a good whack to get out the frustrations, and they'll get on with it. It's not like we can cut you both off from sex as punishment," Bella joked. She knew it was a touchy subject, but taking it lightly was the best thing. She didn't want Rick to start thinking he was a failure because he couldn't give her that, just like Dave had done subconsciously. Like Chris was in the process of doing. Men and their penises, really. There was more to life. "You know, for the record, I might just need to resort to tasering," she added with a mischievous smirk.

Rick managed a slight chuckle at the joke, trying his best to go with the light treatment. He didn't want to sulk about it, and he knew Bella wouldn't mean any offence. "Somehow I can definitely see the former. Chris is going to be a beaten man. Tasering our kid?!"

"I'm not that bad a mother. I'll just stick to tasering you," Bella said with mock seriousness. She didn't miss the forced laugh though. "You get to walk out of here with both your balls, and the impotence will be only temporary. It helps to take a leaf from Monty Python's book now and again. Look on the bright side of life. It might sound like bullshit, but the power of positive thinking and laughing really can have amazing healing qualities. Look at Drew. He uses music as therapy. A healthy mind can aid a healthy body. I'm not saying strapping you to a chair and making you watch the whole season of Fawlty Towers is going to fix you, but the sex thing is your body's way of telling you to take it easy. It's not a punishment."

Rick shook his head. "Yeah, but as much as I want to believe that, it still feels a little like punishment. Although, I guess on the plus side, I'll know it's really time for that date when it is working again. I'll also apologise in advance if there's any random, inappropriate boners. I promise to look on the bright side of life, if you promise not to taser me too often. I like my hair the way it is, I don't want it all electrified," Rick said as he made his own joke. "No one told you I have a dirty mind, not a healthy mind, huh?"

Bella gave him a faint smirk. "Just dating me to get into my knickers, huh?" She pointed over to Dave's bed. "That's punishment, Rick. This with you, it's a second chance. For yourself, for your Mom, for your little brother. It's not punishment. More like the higher powers' way of telling you to stop and open your eyes up. Stop and rethink your path. A lot of people don't get the second shot, they check out after living a short and meaningless life. I see it all the time. So many of my patients tell me when they're dying how much they regret. It's why I try and show my survivors that life is out there to take and put right. And that last point, I think I've managed to deduce it myself, considering I'm incubating your spawn."

"Of course I am. I can't help myself. Look what happened the last time I got in those panties. I figure more miracles might occur," Rick replied with a wink. "Are you trying to say my kid's got a dirty mind, too? Wow, you're just all out to get my kid, aren't you? I love how it's suddenly my spawn, and my kid. It's not yours right now, is it? At least we already have that side of parenting down. And, you know what, I do know that this is my second chance. I'm just having a whinge. I know it's not fair considering Dave's in the next bed. I'm getting over it... now."

Bella nodded, watching him in amusement. "It's your kid when I have a ridiculous amount of morning sickness, or sore backs that feel like they ache all over, or constipation. That's a fun one. All your kid. My kid when I feel normal enough to forget I'm pregnant. I'm the one incubating, so my rules," she joked. "I'm not saying you can't have a whinge, Rick. How many times do I encourage you to so I can get into your head about your condition? The sex thing... it will come. I don't want you dragging yourself down because of it. Chemo is horrible. It is. You lose control of your body and it feels like no one else really gets how you feel. But we do. It's just hard to find that fine line between sympathy and empathy. Most chemo patients don't want sympathy."

Rick grinned. "See, that's what I mean. We already have that part down. Just like it'll be my kid if they get into trouble pinching chocolate from the store, or caught in a fight at school. Your kid if they ace their grades and win at whatever sport they're gonna play. Most chemo patients aren't trying to get sympathy off their girlfriend who's also their doctor. It's possible I just want a hug."

Bella pointed. "Oh see, you are smart. You have the whole thing understood without me needing to spell it out to you. I'm very impressed, sweetheart," she continued to joke and then sat forward in her seat, shifting closer to him. "Girlfriend, huh? Most chemo patients don't give me a hard time like you do. Sometimes, I really do just want to chain you to the bed."

Rick smirked at her as he moved his head to the edge of the pillow so their faces were closer. "Well, I'm not most chemo patients, am I? And sure, girlfriend. Didn't we have that conversation too, or is the blood not going to my brain as well as my balls? You better just save the chains for when my dick will actually enjoy the torture."

"You and Chris really are quite the pair. You don't realise how alike you really are. The sex thing has been on his issue list, too. I tell you, it's those Deleo genes. Part of me really hopes we do not have a boy because I swear I have no idea how I would keep up with that. I think I could dig a cute little blond haired, blue eyed baby, though. One that all the other mums can be jealous of," Bella said with a laugh. "Just no sex til they're eighty."

"Deal. And you know what? I think I'd be happy with a girl. You already have me wrapped around your little finger. I just know any daughter of yours will, too." Rick ran his tongue over his lips as he wet them. "Can't believe Chris' mojo took a hit too, but he's been through a huge operation. It's any wonder he can't get it up."

"My family has a huge level of boys, for some reason. I was like The Matrix, that blip in the system or something," Bella said, knowing there was never ending jokes about all that. "You're all boy heavy too. Could well be a tiny penis inside me. Scary thought. No girl wants a tiny penis in her." She raised her eyebrows with a smirk at the bad joke. "He shouldn't be having sex right now anyway. It's too soon and he's still healing. I did tell your Mom to hide his surfboard just in case, though."

Rick waggled his eyebrows at her. "Maybe it's just time for another blip in the system. I mean, it's already a miracle that it's happening. Could be time for a lot of patterns to be broken, huh? We're all about firsts... About bending the rules. I guess we'll find out." Rick just shook his head with disbelief before he snorted in amusement. "There's nothing tiny about my penis, babe. Hey, I don't blame you for that one. Chris' go to place when he needs to think is the beach."

Bella was watching him closely and she smiled. "You want a baby daughter. Awww, the tough big bro is a total marshmallow," she said giving his arm a soft, affectionate nudge. "I'll be able to find out what it is soon. Question is, do you want to know now, or wait? He can still go to the beach, just no extreme sports. In fact, the beach would be good for both of you. Fresh air, vitamin D in the sunshine, a bit of exercise. It's exactly what you need."

Rick shifted a little under the scrutiny before he gave a small nod. "Yeah, I do. I can't help it! I think having a little girl would be pretty cool. A nightmare when she was older, but to start off with it would be awesome." Rick really did start to laugh this time as he looked back at her. "Can you imagine the hell Mom will have to go through trying to get us both to the beach? I do not want to be in her shoes."

"Maybe you can change her into a boy when she hits her teens?" Bella joked and shoved a hand up under her scrubs shirt to scratch her belly again. It itched on a regular basis now it was growing, and it was still surreal to really think about. She wasn't sure how she ever really imagined being pregnant might be like, but it wasn't this. "Which is why you two should just stay quiet and do what you're told. Chris lives very close to the beach, it's a very short walk. You don't have to go all the way down to the water. Just take a blanket and sit outside for awhile. I'm not saying straight away. Next couple of weeks or something. I guarantee, it will do Chris a world of good. You... well, I don't think you'll truly be satisfied until you get laid again," she said in amusement.

Rick rubbed his fingers against his jaw as he narrowed his eyes a little. "Don't tempt me. Seriously. Because I'll do it. I might at least get her a chastity belt. Hey, don't say that like I'm weird for wanting to get laid again. I can't help it if my penis is important. Alright, next couple of weeks. I can work up to that. I'm sure Chris would love it. And I think maybe even Mom might get something out of it, as much as I joke about us driving her crazy. It'll be a family outing."

"What, are you going to sew a penis on her?" Bella laughed, shaking her head. "Hey, quit being so sensitive over it. I thought we dealt with this? Did I say you were weird? You know what? Not even going to go there again. I'm too tired and don't have the energy to debate your penis versus life again. You're banking on a lot to assume I'll feel like sex when your dick works again. Right now, sex is the last thing I want to think about. The thing about cancer is that you don't need to always feel like a sick person. It's okay to pace things slowly and get out there on your good days. It's good for you. Chris is in a different boat. He was a surgical complication. He can do things, but with restrictions. You're both out of the woods, but just take it easy. It's a free holiday."

Rick held his hands up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll forget my penis. What happened to the super horny pregnancy genes? Aren't women supposed to be frisky at this point? Still, you're right. Maybe you won't be in the mood when I am. And I'll respect that. I just might need to be excused from how many times my hand makes it into my pants. I'll take it slow. We'll both take it slow. It might not hurt Chris to learn that it's okay to be slow either. How long until I feel mostly normal?"

Bella shrugged indifferently. "I think they skipped over me. Gave me indigestion and fainting spells instead." She pointed to his groin. "That will probably just start working out of the blue, you know. You could try some tittie magazines. Only if I get to pick them, though. No fake boobs allowed. Yes, I have heard of his man slut ways. I'm surprised Serena managed to tame him, so that alone shows how much he cares about her. You heard the shoe story, right? If this is the last round we need, a month or two. In saying that, it could be some time before you feel completely normal. You might never feel the same again. Plus, there'll be that fear underlying that it might come back."

"Dave's fair was justified, right?" Rick asked as he looked over at the man in question. "How are the fainting spells? Shoe story? What shoe story? Hey! I don't like fake boobs either, okay? They're actually off putting when trying to get off. You seriously want to pick my porn? Huh... that's hot. What about my hair?"

Bella nodded. "Sure... but you have to remember, Dave had an extremely serious form of cancer. He had it all over. He nearly died. His old oncologist gave him months to live, but he bounced back. It does happen sometimes. This is just one of those terrible forces of nature. Sometimes people are just more susceptible to others. This time, just like you, surgery to remove the tumours should heal him. With chemo, of course, and this time he'll also have radiation. It's a preferred regime with testicular cancer. He's got a good chance. Your hair is just hair, sweetheart. It will grow back when the chemo ceases." She gave a small shrug. "They come and go. They happen when I don't eat, so I'm just extra careful. Your brother tried picking up a waitress at Calle Cubana, her husband came home and he had to escape out a window with one shoe on. Then he stumbled across a stabbing victim, who turned out to be an attempted murderer. Long story, but he showed up to work from the ambulance in one shoe and the story made it around the whole hospital with the hour. And yeah, I want you to give porn a shot."

Rick was listening to Bella, and found his eyebrows going up again as he heard the part about his brother. "Wait, wait. Is this where it turns into Tuck getting stabbed, and Chris fixing Serena's clicker? Which, you know, still sounds like a metaphor to me no matter how many times Chris says it isn't. Can't deny that as much as that all probably makes my brother sound like a dog, it was a turning point for the two of them. He's never looked back. Now he just needs to get his best friend back on track... Get their friendship to where it should be. I never wanted to get in the middle of that."

"That's as far as I have heard. I mean, I don't exactly know the whole story, we just hear the gossip over here. MT1 thrives on it. But yes, it was that night that Tuck got stabbed. It was the guy Chris brought in, so it was a whole huge mess and indication of how sometimes our jobs as doctors really sucks to the max. To be fair, it was a horrible day for them. Tuck stabbed, victims all over the place. I think maybe this time fixing a clicker was just fixing a clicker," Bella said with a shrug. "Maybe he just needed the wake up call. It happens all the time. You do know it wasn't a fact of you getting in the middle, right? Dave really did want to help you. He got quite upset thinking he made things worse or had cancer cooties or something. He didn't want to get in the way, and especially didn't want to force you to do anything you weren't comfortable with."

Rick looked over at Dave again, his brow now furrowed. "He doesn't have cancer cooties. I really fucked up with him, didn't I? I never meant to make him feel like he was making things worse. I just think I was caught up in a heavy denial that I didn't even realise was denial. When I got home it just hit me and I broke. I feel better for it, as strange as that sounds. And as much as I can't quite seem to let the penis thing go. Which I will! And am. Starting now. But you know what I mean, right?"

"Sure," Bella agreed with a small smile. "I get it. But he only wanted to help, on some level. We all inadvertently made him feel like he had to step back, and he got isolated because of it. Human emotion isn't something we can control a lot of the time. And the last week or so, he admitted to me that to just have the energy to face work to cover for Chris, he literally slept the whole rest of the time. Somehow, he still felt that he needed to have your's and Chris' back by filling in for Chris. I wish that even just one of us had chosen not to respect his privacy and intervene. He wouldn't be in this condition right now if we had. I fucked up. I'm a doctor, I do that sometimes."

Rick pressed his lips together. "But still, how do you know any of us would have actually noticed that he had cancer? You were giving him check-ups and there was nothing, right? Hindsight is one of those amazing things. That much I know." Rick looked down at the bear Bella had given him, and brushed his fingers over the soft fur. "He needs someone to give him a teddy, too. He needs someone to just sit with him."

"I already knew he had cancer, Rick. What was to notice?" Bella asked with a small shake of her head in confusion. "I knew how sick he was. He asked for time, I gave it to him. What he needed was support. As much as it pains me to admit knowing Chris' condition, Dave really did need someone to go in like Chris and hit him in the face with it. Chris kept saying over and over he wanted to see Dave. Chris just knew. BFF mojo, maybe. It's just extremely hard with you lot. You feel like family now."

"And family are pretty good at being stubborn about protecting each other. Sometimes we just assume that that means not talking to each other, or cutting each other off." Rick pulled his mouth to the side. "Something I know all about. How long are you going to hang around for?"

"I'm here all night. I'm staying to monitor him, and I'm staying to speak to his family when they arrive. They need to know all the details of his condition, and what his prognosis might be. Chris told me Dave's family are pretty tight, and that your Mom is good friends with his parents, so maybe there will be a silver lining to all this. I really hope there is," Bella admitted quietly.

Rick gave a nod. "Me too. I'm also guessing it would be inappropriate if Dave's family found his doctor in bed with his roommate, huh? And I don't mean sex. I just mean to maybe sleep... cuddle."

Bella looked at Rick apologetically. "More like inappropriate considering the surgery could leave Dave permanently impotent. I'm here, though. That's better than nothing, right?"

Rick smiled at her. "Yeah, of course. I'll take whatever I can get."