virus 103
i've been soo sick its ridiculous
the "runs" that like i couldnt goto school but my mom made me
then i lost bladder control
my mom could give a shit less about me, she even said that
i hate myself. i hate my body. i hate everything
ive started cutting again. i really dont want to but its like the only way it seems to get over my pain.
luckily i've lost about 2 lbs from this stupid virus. ubt its totally not worth it
i feel like a dartboard. only with knives.
so much pain. i hate this.
last 2 days i've been eating normally. stupid body. but if i werent eating then i woudl be shitting stomache acid like no joke i was.
this is insane. i hate this.
ugggh so stomache feels horrible. ive lost desire to smoke, and that never happens.
my dads like "why havent you been smokign so much? ru trying to quit?"
yea its that lame.
how is everyone? i havent been on alot cuz i've been so busy and its hard to get online when my sis and parents are around.
my BFF is taking a "break" from ana. i'm happy for her. i wish i could have the strength to do that-- like to be happy eating. i feel like she thinks i'm dissapointed in her for "giving up" but i'm not. i want her to be happy. thats what friends do-- wish happiness for them.