Am I broken?

[1trinity]

Can anyone explain why what you want and what you feel you should want are two totally different things? How do you find that middle ground? How do you put your mind as ease and follow your heart? Put your heart at ease and follow your mind? And at the some time!
They will not function as one!

I want to scream!

What I should want has been pounded into my head sense before I had the ability to think on my own. -This is what you are going to do-this is who you are going to be-these are your morals-this is the type of person you want to spend your life with-this is right-this is wrong- I can't pull myself from these they have formed a part of who I am.
The things I want are based on life experiences on what my heart feels and desires and I can't pull myself from those, they too have formed who I am.
Neither are better or worse then the other they are just different when it comes time to finding that special someone that I want to share my life with.

I was sitting in church praying about this and the answer that I got I just can not seem to do. Why am I not strong enough.

I have to laugh when people say that I am a strong person. How can they see that if I cant feel it.

I love many but approve of none.

I approve of many but love none.