If Paul Bunyan Had A Cold, This Is What It Would Sound Like.
Lumberjack-force snot-sniffing is the nastiest thing on the face of the planet. Makes me gag every time. And it seems like every time I sit in a quiet room taking a test - which I'm always freaking out about already - there is at least one person doing....that. And it's usually somebody behind me, so I can't Death Stare at them, and it feels like the germs they're dispersing are being dispersed right on the back of my neck. [Shudders] I can't even put the awful sound it makes into words. I don't know that there are any good enough. Like, a punch can be spelled as POW or BAM, but this. THIS. How might I spell the horrific sound of snot-sniffing? The kind that whips those suckers like a power-shoot Oreck vacuum right down the throat? The kind that - if the dude were so inclined - would make a perfect loogey and guarantee 100% my vomiting right there on the spot? Let's give it a shot. This is my variation. Imagine a very large, old German man yelling.
HHHWWWWAAACKCLSHICKKKLGAAAAAAAAGGGHcoughsnifsnifcough. Repeat.
HHHWWWWAAACKCLSHICKKKLGAAAAAAAAGGGHcoughsnifsnifcough. Repeat.