I've just made a decision
So as I sit and ponder over things as per usual..that and I have bronchitis and have been cooped up in this boring house for four days AND quit smoking which is making it worse!!!.....I have come to realize that I have control issues...not with other people just the world. I wish to control fate right now. I would like to direct some things towards my way instead of the way they are supposed to go in order to make myself happy...yes thats right for one day I wish I could control fate and be selfish and have an International Kristy day where things go the way I want them too, I don't think thats too much to ask do you??? If I could have my day I would take all the money that people stupidly put towards the lottery and fix poverty b/c I swear all those twonies would help! I would make my boss nice and not have anger management problems,,,,,either that or find a man made midol that would help him out, and lastly the man I have just met who has the potential to be so perfect for me but is moving away soon so I cannot get emotionally attached would not move away and stay in Barrie and live some crazy romance that is made for movies with me! However I live as sweet november sarah-even though I hate the name sarah-but metaphorically speaking I live as sweet november sarah where I want to effect someone yet someone ends up effecting me more than anticipated and for some purpose must be pushed out of my life within a month. I hate fate, I hate that I am going to be writing in this journal when I'm 35 like Carrie Bradshaw of sex in the city still looking for my "Big"! Pooh on the world today as I am sick, bitchy and sick of living November over and over like it's a bad version of ground hog day...like the first one wasn't bad enough!