so muchos things.
sometimes. i don't write for a reallyyyy long time. and then i get on and write a novel. practically. reading people's long ones today made me realize that i have a lot swirling around in my head. and i should probably start emptying some of it out-maybe that's why i get so many headaches. (okay-only a couple the past few days-but seriously-maybe that's why)
cosa numero uno.
having 14 days left. this is crazy. absolutely insane. i've spent four years of my life with these people. well not completely four years, but probably if you added up all the hours-about a year and a half, two years. and i know i won't realize it until later, but i think i might miss some of these people. haha, yea, sometimes in high school girls are bitches, and there are petty fights, and there is judging and all that completely uncool stuff..but more or less, i've tried to avoid that, and just be me, and let other people be themselves as well. it just works out better that way you know?
cosa numero dos.
this goes along with the whole. let people be themselves thing. lately, i've had so many people telling me that people just don't understand them. and yes, a lot of times, we all feel this way. but if you really want people to understand you, find someone you started a base with, you trust, and start giving a little of yourself to them. You will never find that someone who understands unless you take that risk and expose yourself to them. honestly, i try and be super-non-judgmental..i've had the most random ppl just open up and tell me half of their life stories-after knowing them for five minutes. but some people just aren't that comfortable that quickly-and that is good too....but either way. i'm always around. which leads me to...
cosa numero tres.
am i weak? do i cave to other people? because i always thought i was one of those people who was just myself, no matter what. but then, i look when i write things like that-and i'm like oh yea-i'll be here...and does it sound like-hey-walk all over me? because i hate that. vehemently. ooooh for fun word. but anyway. i really do. i hate feeling like i'm being picked last for a team, i hate feeling uncomfortable. ever notice i stand a lot with my arms crossed? well, it's not so i look like a bitch on purpose, let me tell you...it's just. defense mechanism or something i guess. so next time i'm standing like that. hug me. punch me. something. haha, idk.....just something. actually-that totally didn't even make sense. i went from being weak to looking like a bitch. well you know what i mean either way.
la ultima cosa.
for everyone who has talked about, or has dropped out of school. that's about 5 people i know right now actually. like talk to quite frequently kind of know....
here is my deal with that. do it, if you must, if you realize that you are not there for the right reasons, you are getting nothing out of it, you will finish it and be like, i hate this, what am i doing. that is called following your heart. and following your heart is really important. but we also have this tiny little thing called a brain. the other side of our decision making. and if you are going to, or have dropped out of school. have a plan, be determined, have enough pride in yourself to commit yourself to action in the future. if you have that, then go for it. i give props to anyone who has enough willpower to work their way through life until they figure out what they want to do with it. believe me, being 18 with three jobs is no less difficult than going to school. i really don't think it is. personally, i'm hitting up college in the fall. and then i'll find out how it is for ME. but to all those other people out there. follow your heart, but don't forget your mind either...
if only love were flammable, i'd set this world afire.
cosa numero uno.
having 14 days left. this is crazy. absolutely insane. i've spent four years of my life with these people. well not completely four years, but probably if you added up all the hours-about a year and a half, two years. and i know i won't realize it until later, but i think i might miss some of these people. haha, yea, sometimes in high school girls are bitches, and there are petty fights, and there is judging and all that completely uncool stuff..but more or less, i've tried to avoid that, and just be me, and let other people be themselves as well. it just works out better that way you know?
cosa numero dos.
this goes along with the whole. let people be themselves thing. lately, i've had so many people telling me that people just don't understand them. and yes, a lot of times, we all feel this way. but if you really want people to understand you, find someone you started a base with, you trust, and start giving a little of yourself to them. You will never find that someone who understands unless you take that risk and expose yourself to them. honestly, i try and be super-non-judgmental..i've had the most random ppl just open up and tell me half of their life stories-after knowing them for five minutes. but some people just aren't that comfortable that quickly-and that is good too....but either way. i'm always around. which leads me to...
cosa numero tres.
am i weak? do i cave to other people? because i always thought i was one of those people who was just myself, no matter what. but then, i look when i write things like that-and i'm like oh yea-i'll be here...and does it sound like-hey-walk all over me? because i hate that. vehemently. ooooh for fun word. but anyway. i really do. i hate feeling like i'm being picked last for a team, i hate feeling uncomfortable. ever notice i stand a lot with my arms crossed? well, it's not so i look like a bitch on purpose, let me tell you...it's just. defense mechanism or something i guess. so next time i'm standing like that. hug me. punch me. something. haha, idk.....just something. actually-that totally didn't even make sense. i went from being weak to looking like a bitch. well you know what i mean either way.
la ultima cosa.
for everyone who has talked about, or has dropped out of school. that's about 5 people i know right now actually. like talk to quite frequently kind of know....
here is my deal with that. do it, if you must, if you realize that you are not there for the right reasons, you are getting nothing out of it, you will finish it and be like, i hate this, what am i doing. that is called following your heart. and following your heart is really important. but we also have this tiny little thing called a brain. the other side of our decision making. and if you are going to, or have dropped out of school. have a plan, be determined, have enough pride in yourself to commit yourself to action in the future. if you have that, then go for it. i give props to anyone who has enough willpower to work their way through life until they figure out what they want to do with it. believe me, being 18 with three jobs is no less difficult than going to school. i really don't think it is. personally, i'm hitting up college in the fall. and then i'll find out how it is for ME. but to all those other people out there. follow your heart, but don't forget your mind either...
if only love were flammable, i'd set this world afire.