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I've been wanting to tell you something, you know.....
I want to tell you...everything.
Every time I see you or hear your voice or dream about you...the words begin to form.
It's always the same...it starts off slow and just begins to pick up speed.
But
It always gets out of control. The words and thoughts and emotions forming into one long string of nonsense.
I cannot sort it out...
I cannot find the beginning nor the end of it all.
Then when I can see your eyes and that smug smirk, I know.
You have me where you want me.
You have all the power now.
No.
You've always had all the power and I never realized it.
I can't look away and so....
everything I want to tell you,
everything I'd ever want us to be,
everything this pathetic boy could ever utter...
It is all lost in that instant.
My words and thoughts are not enough.
I throw up a little into the back of my mouth
My brain nothing more than a smoldering ruin.
I try to make a sound, any sound.
Nothing.
Nothing happens you know.
We part ways again as we always do.
The drive home is always the same too.
It is slow and silent, it is always slow and silent.
I'm shifting gears with shaking hands and missing all 3 pedals with unsteady feet.
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
I love you.
I want to tell you...everything.
Every time I see you or hear your voice or dream about you...the words begin to form.
It's always the same...it starts off slow and just begins to pick up speed.
But
It always gets out of control. The words and thoughts and emotions forming into one long string of nonsense.
I cannot sort it out...
I cannot find the beginning nor the end of it all.
Then when I can see your eyes and that smug smirk, I know.
You have me where you want me.
You have all the power now.
No.
You've always had all the power and I never realized it.
I can't look away and so....
everything I want to tell you,
everything I'd ever want us to be,
everything this pathetic boy could ever utter...
It is all lost in that instant.
My words and thoughts are not enough.
I throw up a little into the back of my mouth
My brain nothing more than a smoldering ruin.
I try to make a sound, any sound.
Nothing.
Nothing happens you know.
We part ways again as we always do.
The drive home is always the same too.
It is slow and silent, it is always slow and silent.
I'm shifting gears with shaking hands and missing all 3 pedals with unsteady feet.
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
I love you.