a loneliness I can't imagine, 3/?
anonymous
June 9 2011, 16:40:07 UTC
a/n: okay, first off I don't know why this is getting long. uh. sorry? thanks for reading, everyone! also, I apologize for the spelling errors and that one place where a sentence just breaks off. I'm actually proofing now!
part 3
To Erik’s surprise, Charles doesn’t advocate trying it again immediately. Specifically, he says:
“I would love to get right back to it, but I’m afraid I’ve still got a headache.” Which is somewhat better than doing it right now, but indicates that he still has every intention of just plunging back into working with Cerebro at full strength.
“Thank you for showing some common sense, Charles,” Erik says, unable to stop the sharpness in his voice, and Charles just smiles at him, looking a little bit lost. He’s acquired an unusual pallor and deep circles under his eyes, and he’s as rumpled as Erik has ever seen him.
“I really think we should run a few trial tests down to minimum power first,” Hank says, more cautious now. Should have tried that earlier, Erik thinks, glaring, and Charles winces and looks at him disapprovingly, but there's no reprimanding voice in his head like he'd more than half-expected.
“Hank’s right. That’s the very least we can do.” Erik’s aware of Raven watching them both, considering, and he looks at her in silent appeal. She gives one short nod but remains silent. Hopefully that means she’ll go to work on Charles later, convince him to take even the most basic of precautions for himself.
“There’s no time,” Charles says. “I know it must have been startling, but it’s all up here.” He taps his head, gently, and winces even so. “It wasn’t Cerebro, it was my own powers. I went about it all wrong. Next time will be different.”
“So we start on low power and go from there,” Erik says.
“Erik, I’m not that fragile,” Charles says. “Please believe me when I say that I understand my powers and know what I did wrong.” Erik stares at him through narrowed eyes.
“We’ll talk about this in the morning,” he says.
“All right,” Charles says, in a voice that clearly indicates he expects to be in Cerebro tomorrow morning, first thing.
“Charles, you should rest,” Raven says. “Take a nap before dinner.”
“I’ve got some work to do,” he begins, and then hastily backtracks at Raven’s expression into, “That obviously I can do once I’ve taken a nap.”
“Excellent,” Raven says. “I’ll walk with you.” She walks out with Charles, one arm looped around his, talking quietly and evenly.
When she comes back Erik is leaning against the door leading into Hank’s lab.
“He’s not listening,” he says.
“No,” Raven says. “He’s always this stubborn.”
“Is there a way to make him listen?” Erik asks, and Raven looks at him curiously.
“Why are you so concerned?” she says, and Erik blanks on the answer because he doesn’t know, he really doesn’t. He fumbles for some acceptable answer and finally comes up with,
“Because he’s too valuable to just throw himself away like that.” Valuable. It’s a good word. Raven, he thinks, takes it to mean important to the work they’re doing, which is a perfectly valid interpretation. As is the one that means because somehow he’s important to me and I don’t really know why. She sighs.
“He doesn’t like being pushed around. He’s a very independent person.”
“He’s not saying everything about what happened,” Erik insists.
“No kidding, Einstein,” Raven says. “He’s my brother, I know when he’s lying. We’ve got tonight and tomorrow morning to figure out what’s going on and keep him out of that machine.”
“We have as long as we need,” Erik says. “Cerebro is mostly metal.”
“Charles would be furious,” Raven says. “It’s a very delicately constructed machine. Typically, he’s already worrying that you may have injured the helmet getting it off him.”
“What, I was supposed to be delicate when it was hurting him?” Erik says.
“That’s Charles for you.” Raven’s resigned but not pleased about the whole situation. “Go take a walk, Erik. I’ll talk with Hank about setting it up as low as he can.”
“Right,” Erik says, and stands aside. A walk. That’s a good idea. Maybe he’ll take a run, get some exercise and clear his head. Figure out an argument that will actually persuade Charles he’s being a bloody fool about this.
Actually, I was hoping the fill for this would be a bit longer. I love the bigger fills, they take their time and it makes the journey that much sweeter :)
Re: a loneliness I can't imagine, 3/?
anonymous
June 12 2011, 16:43:41 UTC
Yeah, Charles definitely needs someone around to stop him from kicking his own arse on other people's behalf; Raven has the best intent and sympathy in the world but she's still his little sister. Erik's got the unapologetic brazenness and don't-give-me-that-bullshit to stare him down. Can. Not. Wait. (captcha says "cannot ganyme". close enough.)
a loneliness I can't imagine, 4/?be_themoonJune 12 2011, 23:31:04 UTC
a/n: thanks everyone for the wonderful comments! I'm feeling really insecure about writing in this fandom, so they mean a lot to me. This is going to move more slowly, I'm in the middle of a lot of stuff. But I think it's in the starting-to-wrap-up-stages? By which I mean I can see an end somewhere in the next two or three parts. I think.
Part Four
Dinner is ordered in for them. The CIA hasn’t really decided specifically what to do with them yet, and so the three mutants have essentially been shoved into quarantine, two bedrooms and a tiny living space with a kitchenette and table and chairs shoved into it. Charles shows up approximately thirty seconds before Erik decides to go get him, looking half asleep.
“Don’t think so loud,” he mutters to Raven, sitting down and letting his head fall to the small kitchen table. “I’m trying to maintain my morals, and it’s difficult with your thoughts just … bleeding out.” Raven frowns and stands up to go behind him, her fingers prodding into the base of his neck. Charles makes a noise of deep satisfaction.
“Better?” Raven says, and he hums his agreement.
“Much,” he says.
“Still have a headache?” Erik asks.
“You know what it feels like when you wake up after having drunk an entire thing of vodka?” Charles says, and Raven goes back to her seat, wetting down a wash cloth to toss to him on her way. He catches it and leans back in his chair as he puts it on his forehead.
“More or less,” Erik says.
“Like that,” Charles says, and lifts his fingers to his temple. “I know you’re eager to get home to your wife but do you have to think about it so loudly?”
“Charles?” Erik says, and Charles blinks.
“Ah. Wrong place,” he says. “Thought in the wrong place.” He pauses again, thinking what he’d just said over. “Said things in the wrong place,” he corrects himself, looking frustrated.
“That’s it,” Erik says. “You think I don’t know there’s something about this you’re not telling me? Why are you still being affected by it?”
“Erik,” Raven says quietly. “You’re thinking too loudly.” Charles closes his eyes for a long moment.
“I’m maintaining my blocks,” he says quietly. “That’s all. Things are a little bit full up here right now. It’s requiring more concentration than usual.”
“Bullshit,” Erik says. “Stop lying.”
“You’re a very hard man to convince, Erik,” Charles says, smiling faintly.
“And you’re a terrible liar,” Erik says brusquely.
“Can we please just eat?” Charles asks, and Raven starts putting food on her plate, her glare at Erik serving to stop the conversation in its tracks. Charles makes a face at the food. He serves himself little and eats even less, and Erik barely holds back the comment he wants to make about wasting food because it’s clear that Charles probably wouldn’t be able to hold it down.
“I hope you don’t mind, Erik, but I’m going to go ahead and go to sleep,” Charles says. “If you could not turn on the light when you come in - “
“Not a problem,” Erik says, and watches him leave.
“Don’t say it,” Raven orders, dumping her things in the trash.
“He’s not okay,” Erik says.
“As his sister, allow me to tell you that this is none of your business.” She’s sharp and angry. “Don’t push it. What he needs most right now is space and quiet and nobody thinking near him.”
“But - “
“No,” she says firmly, and leaves.
Erik waits to go back to the room he’s been shoved into with Charles, so that Charles will have already fallen asleep, occupying his time first with cleaning the kitchenette and then with bending a paper clip into fantastical shapes.
When he opens the door to their room Charles is sound asleep on his bed. He hadn’t even bothered to change, and Erik eases the door shut as quietly as he can and feels his way to his own bed. He could turn the lamp on and change, but it would probably wake Charles and he’d asked Erik not to.
“Sleep well,” he says quietly, lying back against his pillows, and Charles mutters something and turns in his sleep to face Erik, like a compass facing north, his hand outstretched to the edge of his bed. Erik swallows past the sudden painful clench of his heart and closes his eyes. “Sleep well,” he says again, because it is all he can think to say.
Re: a loneliness I can't imagine, 4/?d_violettaJune 16 2011, 13:30:18 UTC
Don't worry about it you are writing a great piece of fiction. I think because everything is so quick you are allowed to be a little rough around the edged it doesn't take away from a great story.
I love the way you are building the characters together Raven's wish to protect her brother and not really trusting Erik not to hurt him.
I hope you get to continue this soon I would love to see how it finishes.
Re: a loneliness I can't imagine, 4/?
anonymous
June 13 2011, 02:17:14 UTC
This is one of my favorite fills so far in the meme! (For some reason I can't stop giggling over the idea of Erik bending a paperclip about, but it's all the rest of it, too; it's all amazing).
Re: a loneliness I can't imagine, 4/?
anonymous
June 16 2011, 01:31:54 UTC
“Sleep well,” he says quietly, lying back against his pillows, and Charles mutters something and turns in his sleep to face Erik, like a compass facing north, his hand outstretched to the edge of his bed. Erik swallows past the sudden painful clench of his heart and closes his eyes. “Sleep well,” he says again, because it is all he can think to say.
Re: a loneliness I can't imagine, 4/?larkJune 16 2011, 06:20:59 UTC
I'd like to take a moment to say that I love your Raven? She's so mama-lion protective over her big brother and I love that she's strong and in control in this fic, that Erik has to work with/around her whether he wants to or not. Also, I'm genuinely worried about Charles and Erik's suppressed reaction is only making it worse, omg. I hope you put up more soon!
part 3
To Erik’s surprise, Charles doesn’t advocate trying it again immediately. Specifically, he says:
“I would love to get right back to it, but I’m afraid I’ve still got a headache.” Which is somewhat better than doing it right now, but indicates that he still has every intention of just plunging back into working with Cerebro at full strength.
“Thank you for showing some common sense, Charles,” Erik says, unable to stop the sharpness in his voice, and Charles just smiles at him, looking a little bit lost. He’s acquired an unusual pallor and deep circles under his eyes, and he’s as rumpled as Erik has ever seen him.
“I really think we should run a few trial tests down to minimum power first,” Hank says, more cautious now. Should have tried that earlier, Erik thinks, glaring, and Charles winces and looks at him disapprovingly, but there's no reprimanding voice in his head like he'd more than half-expected.
“Hank’s right. That’s the very least we can do.” Erik’s aware of Raven watching them both, considering, and he looks at her in silent appeal. She gives one short nod but remains silent. Hopefully that means she’ll go to work on Charles later, convince him to take even the most basic of precautions for himself.
“There’s no time,” Charles says. “I know it must have been startling, but it’s all up here.” He taps his head, gently, and winces even so. “It wasn’t Cerebro, it was my own powers. I went about it all wrong. Next time will be different.”
“So we start on low power and go from there,” Erik says.
“Erik, I’m not that fragile,” Charles says. “Please believe me when I say that I understand my powers and know what I did wrong.” Erik stares at him through narrowed eyes.
“We’ll talk about this in the morning,” he says.
“All right,” Charles says, in a voice that clearly indicates he expects to be in Cerebro tomorrow morning, first thing.
“Charles, you should rest,” Raven says. “Take a nap before dinner.”
“I’ve got some work to do,” he begins, and then hastily backtracks at Raven’s expression into, “That obviously I can do once I’ve taken a nap.”
“Excellent,” Raven says. “I’ll walk with you.” She walks out with Charles, one arm looped around his, talking quietly and evenly.
When she comes back Erik is leaning against the door leading into Hank’s lab.
“He’s not listening,” he says.
“No,” Raven says. “He’s always this stubborn.”
“Is there a way to make him listen?” Erik asks, and Raven looks at him curiously.
“Why are you so concerned?” she says, and Erik blanks on the answer because he doesn’t know, he really doesn’t. He fumbles for some acceptable answer and finally comes up with,
“Because he’s too valuable to just throw himself away like that.” Valuable. It’s a good word. Raven, he thinks, takes it to mean important to the work they’re doing, which is a perfectly valid interpretation. As is the one that means because somehow he’s important to me and I don’t really know why. She sighs.
“He doesn’t like being pushed around. He’s a very independent person.”
“He’s not saying everything about what happened,” Erik insists.
“No kidding, Einstein,” Raven says. “He’s my brother, I know when he’s lying. We’ve got tonight and tomorrow morning to figure out what’s going on and keep him out of that machine.”
“We have as long as we need,” Erik says. “Cerebro is mostly metal.”
“Charles would be furious,” Raven says. “It’s a very delicately constructed machine. Typically, he’s already worrying that you may have injured the helmet getting it off him.”
“What, I was supposed to be delicate when it was hurting him?” Erik says.
“That’s Charles for you.” Raven’s resigned but not pleased about the whole situation. “Go take a walk, Erik. I’ll talk with Hank about setting it up as low as he can.”
“Right,” Erik says, and stands aside. A walk. That’s a good idea. Maybe he’ll take a run, get some exercise and clear his head. Figure out an argument that will actually persuade Charles he’s being a bloody fool about this.
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Can. Not. Wait.
(captcha says "cannot ganyme". close enough.)
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Part Four
Dinner is ordered in for them. The CIA hasn’t really decided specifically what to do with them yet, and so the three mutants have essentially been shoved into quarantine, two bedrooms and a tiny living space with a kitchenette and table and chairs shoved into it. Charles shows up approximately thirty seconds before Erik decides to go get him, looking half asleep.
“Don’t think so loud,” he mutters to Raven, sitting down and letting his head fall to the small kitchen table. “I’m trying to maintain my morals, and it’s difficult with your thoughts just … bleeding out.” Raven frowns and stands up to go behind him, her fingers prodding into the base of his neck. Charles makes a noise of deep satisfaction.
“Better?” Raven says, and he hums his agreement.
“Much,” he says.
“Still have a headache?” Erik asks.
“You know what it feels like when you wake up after having drunk an entire thing of vodka?” Charles says, and Raven goes back to her seat, wetting down a wash cloth to toss to him on her way. He catches it and leans back in his chair as he puts it on his forehead.
“More or less,” Erik says.
“Like that,” Charles says, and lifts his fingers to his temple. “I know you’re eager to get home to your wife but do you have to think about it so loudly?”
“Charles?” Erik says, and Charles blinks.
“Ah. Wrong place,” he says. “Thought in the wrong place.” He pauses again, thinking what he’d just said over. “Said things in the wrong place,” he corrects himself, looking frustrated.
“That’s it,” Erik says. “You think I don’t know there’s something about this you’re not telling me? Why are you still being affected by it?”
“Erik,” Raven says quietly. “You’re thinking too loudly.” Charles closes his eyes for a long moment.
“I’m maintaining my blocks,” he says quietly. “That’s all. Things are a little bit full up here right now. It’s requiring more concentration than usual.”
“Bullshit,” Erik says. “Stop lying.”
“You’re a very hard man to convince, Erik,” Charles says, smiling faintly.
“And you’re a terrible liar,” Erik says brusquely.
“Can we please just eat?” Charles asks, and Raven starts putting food on her plate, her glare at Erik serving to stop the conversation in its tracks. Charles makes a face at the food. He serves himself little and eats even less, and Erik barely holds back the comment he wants to make about wasting food because it’s clear that Charles probably wouldn’t be able to hold it down.
“I hope you don’t mind, Erik, but I’m going to go ahead and go to sleep,” Charles says. “If you could not turn on the light when you come in - “
“Not a problem,” Erik says, and watches him leave.
“Don’t say it,” Raven orders, dumping her things in the trash.
“He’s not okay,” Erik says.
“As his sister, allow me to tell you that this is none of your business.” She’s sharp and angry. “Don’t push it. What he needs most right now is space and quiet and nobody thinking near him.”
“But - “
“No,” she says firmly, and leaves.
Erik waits to go back to the room he’s been shoved into with Charles, so that Charles will have already fallen asleep, occupying his time first with cleaning the kitchenette and then with bending a paper clip into fantastical shapes.
When he opens the door to their room Charles is sound asleep on his bed. He hadn’t even bothered to change, and Erik eases the door shut as quietly as he can and feels his way to his own bed. He could turn the lamp on and change, but it would probably wake Charles and he’d asked Erik not to.
“Sleep well,” he says quietly, lying back against his pillows, and Charles mutters something and turns in his sleep to face Erik, like a compass facing north, his hand outstretched to the edge of his bed. Erik swallows past the sudden painful clench of his heart and closes his eyes. “Sleep well,” he says again, because it is all he can think to say.
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I love the way you are building the characters together Raven's wish to protect her brother and not really trusting Erik not to hurt him.
I hope you get to continue this soon I would love to see how it finishes.
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Betsy, I don't even tend to *like* h/c what is this what are these people and their faces oh god. what I am saying is yes. This. You are amazing.
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*FLAILS*
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