This is your brain on Mrs. Potts
More crazy IM fun for all....
The following conversations took place simultaneously...but it might hurt your head to try to read them that way....They are NOT in order of importance...and the numbers are meaningless (no commenting on being number two Craig-o! Fo'real. I know you were gonna.)
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!
Convo #1:
Amanda11K: phone again geez
maverick41484: you should hang out with punk rockers.
maverick41484: not, like, the shiesty "let's get fucked up to rebel against the man and crash our cars into phone polls and fucking die in protest" but the smart, straight edge type. they're fun. pretentious assholes, but fun.
maverick41484: plus, man, NYC has some great punk rock shows.
maverick41484: and to fit in, anytime anyone says anything about anything just say "god, you're such a fucking poser." and then cross your arms at shows and nod your head to the music and sort of look around at everybody else and think "these motherfuckers are lame."
maverick41484: and once you become the scene goddess, you can sit atround and tellall the younger punks how to live their lives.
maverick41484: and eventually you'll start listening to the hsins or something and you'll grow out of your punk rock ideals, and then you'll start becoming a well informed, productive member of society, and everyone of your old punk rock friends will call you a sell out and you can give them the finger and tell them the scene is dead.
maverick41484: you'll also probably have to date the lead singer of whatever local band is big at the time.
maverick41484: and you'll go on the road with him,but in omaha, at some basement show, you'll get into a big fight, cause he'll find out you cheated on him with the bassist, and then the band will break up in omaha. . .and you'll all drive home together awkwardly.
maverick41484: and then two years after you leave the scene, the band you broke up will get back together and record "Break Up in Omaha", the nation's next big emo hit.
Amanda11K: wow danny I'm still on the phone..but wow.
Amanda11K: I'm reading this aloud to Craig.
maverick41484: and you'll go to a show and he'll see you in the crowd, AND you'll give him a little smile and a nod of recognition, and then you'll slink out the back.
maverick41484: and then the people in the scene will always say "hey, whatever happened to Amanda Gagnon? she was the punk rock princess" and then you will write a memoir about your time in the scene, and you'll call it NYC Punk.
maverick41484: but you'll get sued by matthew mcconnaughey for copyright infringement on the blatant rip off of his 1999 classic SLC Punk,and you'll go to court and you'll meet him and he'll be like "hey, i like to smoke pot and play the bongos naked" and you'll say "dig" and then you'll fall in love with him.
maverick41484: the end.
maverick41484: um, editors note: it was matthew lillard, not mcconaughey that was in SLC punk.
maverick41484: EDIT IN THE TEXT!
maverick41484: matthew lilard will sue you for copyright infringement for SLC punk, and you'll go to court and he'll be like "hey, let me introduce you to my friend, scooby doo, i made two movies with him" and you and scooby will hit it off so well, e will move in with you, but eat all of your food.
maverick41484: the end.
Amanda11K: are your fingers tired.
maverick41484: not really.
Amanda11K: I liked it better when I wound up with Matthew McConoughey.
maverick41484: thems the breaks.
maverick41484: a big slobbery great dane.
Amanda11K: He's next best thing to Hugh Jackman.
maverick41484: nope, you get a stoner dog.
Amanda11K: who does Craig wind up wiht...
Amanda11K: he wants to know.
maverick41484: Craig’s a story for another time.
maverick41484: suffice to say, craig ends up with the disembodied head of fidel castro and Grover Cleaveland's clone.
Amanda11K: Craig likes my version better.
Amanda11K: I told him he'd wind up with Ashley Judd.
maverick41484: fair enough
Amanda11K: yes. Craig deserves it.
Amanda11K: notice the change of pace.
Amanda11K: How would you like it if I said you wound up with Keira Knightley and then I changed it to Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast?
maverick41484: i would be okay with that.
maverick41484: she makes awesome food.
maverick41484: and tea.
Amanda11K: Can't argue with that.
Amanda11K: craig says the sex must be awful.
Amanda11K: I'd have to agree.
Amanda11K: You'll get all burned and shit.
maverick41484: nah, i'd wear a condom lined with asbestos.
Amanda11K: good idea danny
Amanda11K: craig says...
Amanda11K: "Be our guest, be our guest, be our mMMGMFfffmfnfmphmmfjm"
maverick41484: exactly!
maverick41484: its hard for her to pour tea with my dick in her spout, i guess.
Convo #2:
Amanda11K: I said PHONE
Amanda11K: geez
Amanda11K: you're right.
Amanda11K: you make a perfectly valid point
Amanda11K: but I …
Amanda11K: phone again
CNUPilk1: i know. It’s me.
Amanda11K: lost service.
Amanda11K: calling you back now.
CNUPilk1: phone
CNUPilk1: no phone?
Amanda11K: no more phone.
CNUPilk1: damn
Amanda11K: danny wrote a friggin' novel over here.
Amanda11K: Hey...in Danny's story I wind up with Matthew McConoughey!
Amanda11K: Sweet!!!
CNUPilk1: good deal!! Who do I hook up with???
Amanda11K: lemme ask.
CNUPilk1: k
Amanda11K: he says you're a story for another time.
Amanda11K: bogus
CNUPilk1: oh, damn
Amanda11K: I say you wind up with Ashley Judd!!
Amanda11K: Danny says...
Amanda11K: " suffice to say, craig ends up with the disembodied head of fidel castro and Grover Cleaveland's clone."
Amanda11K: not as good as my ending.
CNUPilk1: I like your idea MUCH better
Amanda11K: me too. She's better for you.
Amanda11K: and she won't rot like Fidel's head.
CNUPilk1: yeah, severed heads and I don't get along too well
CNUPilk1: Don't ask how I know that
Amanda11K: I'm rewriting Danny's story....
CNUPilk1: why?
Amanda11K: he told me that I'd wind up with Matthew Mc....then changed it to friggin' Scooby Doo...so I'm trying to put it in perspective.
CNUPilk1: how
CNUPilk1: ?
Amanda11K: I asked him how he'd like it if I told him he wound up with Keira Knightly and then changed it to Mrs. Potts.
Amanda11K: he said that'd be alright...
Amanda11K: she makes good food and tea.
Amanda11K: he's weird.
CNUPilk1: yeah, but the sex has to be awful
Amanda11K: yeah...and I don't even want to THINK about the burn factor.
CNUPilk1: ooo...bad mental pictuer
Amanda11K: like american pie...but a teapot.
Amanda11K: eeeeeeeek
Amanda11K: danny said he'd wear a condom lined with asbestos.
CNUPilk1: "Be our guest, be our guest, be our mMMGMFfffmfnfmphmmfjm"
Amanda11K: lolol
Amanda11K: rotflmao
CNUPilk1: glad I could help
Amanda11K: danny, "its hard for her to pour tea with my dick in her spout, i guess."
Amanda11K: lolol
Amanda11K: I'm dyin' over here.
The following conversations took place simultaneously...but it might hurt your head to try to read them that way....They are NOT in order of importance...and the numbers are meaningless (no commenting on being number two Craig-o! Fo'real. I know you were gonna.)
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!
Convo #1:
Amanda11K: phone again geez
maverick41484: you should hang out with punk rockers.
maverick41484: not, like, the shiesty "let's get fucked up to rebel against the man and crash our cars into phone polls and fucking die in protest" but the smart, straight edge type. they're fun. pretentious assholes, but fun.
maverick41484: plus, man, NYC has some great punk rock shows.
maverick41484: and to fit in, anytime anyone says anything about anything just say "god, you're such a fucking poser." and then cross your arms at shows and nod your head to the music and sort of look around at everybody else and think "these motherfuckers are lame."
maverick41484: and once you become the scene goddess, you can sit atround and tellall the younger punks how to live their lives.
maverick41484: and eventually you'll start listening to the hsins or something and you'll grow out of your punk rock ideals, and then you'll start becoming a well informed, productive member of society, and everyone of your old punk rock friends will call you a sell out and you can give them the finger and tell them the scene is dead.
maverick41484: you'll also probably have to date the lead singer of whatever local band is big at the time.
maverick41484: and you'll go on the road with him,but in omaha, at some basement show, you'll get into a big fight, cause he'll find out you cheated on him with the bassist, and then the band will break up in omaha. . .and you'll all drive home together awkwardly.
maverick41484: and then two years after you leave the scene, the band you broke up will get back together and record "Break Up in Omaha", the nation's next big emo hit.
Amanda11K: wow danny I'm still on the phone..but wow.
Amanda11K: I'm reading this aloud to Craig.
maverick41484: and you'll go to a show and he'll see you in the crowd, AND you'll give him a little smile and a nod of recognition, and then you'll slink out the back.
maverick41484: and then the people in the scene will always say "hey, whatever happened to Amanda Gagnon? she was the punk rock princess" and then you will write a memoir about your time in the scene, and you'll call it NYC Punk.
maverick41484: but you'll get sued by matthew mcconnaughey for copyright infringement on the blatant rip off of his 1999 classic SLC Punk,and you'll go to court and you'll meet him and he'll be like "hey, i like to smoke pot and play the bongos naked" and you'll say "dig" and then you'll fall in love with him.
maverick41484: the end.
maverick41484: um, editors note: it was matthew lillard, not mcconaughey that was in SLC punk.
maverick41484: EDIT IN THE TEXT!
maverick41484: matthew lilard will sue you for copyright infringement for SLC punk, and you'll go to court and he'll be like "hey, let me introduce you to my friend, scooby doo, i made two movies with him" and you and scooby will hit it off so well, e will move in with you, but eat all of your food.
maverick41484: the end.
Amanda11K: are your fingers tired.
maverick41484: not really.
Amanda11K: I liked it better when I wound up with Matthew McConoughey.
maverick41484: thems the breaks.
maverick41484: a big slobbery great dane.
Amanda11K: He's next best thing to Hugh Jackman.
maverick41484: nope, you get a stoner dog.
Amanda11K: who does Craig wind up wiht...
Amanda11K: he wants to know.
maverick41484: Craig’s a story for another time.
maverick41484: suffice to say, craig ends up with the disembodied head of fidel castro and Grover Cleaveland's clone.
Amanda11K: Craig likes my version better.
Amanda11K: I told him he'd wind up with Ashley Judd.
maverick41484: fair enough
Amanda11K: yes. Craig deserves it.
Amanda11K: notice the change of pace.
Amanda11K: How would you like it if I said you wound up with Keira Knightley and then I changed it to Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast?
maverick41484: i would be okay with that.
maverick41484: she makes awesome food.
maverick41484: and tea.
Amanda11K: Can't argue with that.
Amanda11K: craig says the sex must be awful.
Amanda11K: I'd have to agree.
Amanda11K: You'll get all burned and shit.
maverick41484: nah, i'd wear a condom lined with asbestos.
Amanda11K: good idea danny
Amanda11K: craig says...
Amanda11K: "Be our guest, be our guest, be our mMMGMFfffmfnfmphmmfjm"
maverick41484: exactly!
maverick41484: its hard for her to pour tea with my dick in her spout, i guess.
Convo #2:
Amanda11K: I said PHONE
Amanda11K: geez
Amanda11K: you're right.
Amanda11K: you make a perfectly valid point
Amanda11K: but I …
Amanda11K: phone again
CNUPilk1: i know. It’s me.
Amanda11K: lost service.
Amanda11K: calling you back now.
CNUPilk1: phone
CNUPilk1: no phone?
Amanda11K: no more phone.
CNUPilk1: damn
Amanda11K: danny wrote a friggin' novel over here.
Amanda11K: Hey...in Danny's story I wind up with Matthew McConoughey!
Amanda11K: Sweet!!!
CNUPilk1: good deal!! Who do I hook up with???
Amanda11K: lemme ask.
CNUPilk1: k
Amanda11K: he says you're a story for another time.
Amanda11K: bogus
CNUPilk1: oh, damn
Amanda11K: I say you wind up with Ashley Judd!!
Amanda11K: Danny says...
Amanda11K: " suffice to say, craig ends up with the disembodied head of fidel castro and Grover Cleaveland's clone."
Amanda11K: not as good as my ending.
CNUPilk1: I like your idea MUCH better
Amanda11K: me too. She's better for you.
Amanda11K: and she won't rot like Fidel's head.
CNUPilk1: yeah, severed heads and I don't get along too well
CNUPilk1: Don't ask how I know that
Amanda11K: I'm rewriting Danny's story....
CNUPilk1: why?
Amanda11K: he told me that I'd wind up with Matthew Mc....then changed it to friggin' Scooby Doo...so I'm trying to put it in perspective.
CNUPilk1: how
CNUPilk1: ?
Amanda11K: I asked him how he'd like it if I told him he wound up with Keira Knightly and then changed it to Mrs. Potts.
Amanda11K: he said that'd be alright...
Amanda11K: she makes good food and tea.
Amanda11K: he's weird.
CNUPilk1: yeah, but the sex has to be awful
Amanda11K: yeah...and I don't even want to THINK about the burn factor.
CNUPilk1: ooo...bad mental pictuer
Amanda11K: like american pie...but a teapot.
Amanda11K: eeeeeeeek
Amanda11K: danny said he'd wear a condom lined with asbestos.
CNUPilk1: "Be our guest, be our guest, be our mMMGMFfffmfnfmphmmfjm"
Amanda11K: lolol
Amanda11K: rotflmao
CNUPilk1: glad I could help
Amanda11K: danny, "its hard for her to pour tea with my dick in her spout, i guess."
Amanda11K: lolol
Amanda11K: I'm dyin' over here.