(no subject)
Usually, any Arashi TV I watch is stuff that beckerbell has recapped, so recapping it myself is sort of redundant. BUT. I just watched the Haunted Hospital segment of Himitsu no Arashi-chan #21. Which she has not recapped. And HOLY CRAP I need to talk about it because I was dying.
They started out just talking about how they got stuck in this situation in the first place, and god do I love when they pick on Ohno about being the leader. They're stuck with a bill they can't pay (FROM BUYING SOUVENIRS FOR SHO-CHAN, I MIGHT ADD) because they thought the show was covering it and they're like, well, Leader should pay because he's Leader, right? And Ohno is all, "Don't just use the leader in these kinds of situations!" And Aiba and Jun just LAUGH.
So then they decide that... they should send Arashi-minus-Sho into a haunted abandoned hospital and the one who screams most loses and has to pay the bill? Japan, I don't understand you. BUT IT MAKES FOR GOOD TV SO I WILL NOT COMPLAIN. For some reason they're with Othello, which is this girl manzai duo that seems sort of adorable, and they're like, oh yeah, this actually used to be a real hospital, it's not just a set, and 20 years ago...
And Aiba just goes "...Let's not do that kind of thing." With Nino backing him up, like "It's definitely better if we don't."
LOLLING ALREADY.
So they bring out this guy Ohtani-san who's a scary storyteller just to freak Arashi out the extra mile before they go inside.
Jun: That's okay, you didn't have to...
Aiba: Well, you came all the way just for us-
Nino: And we feel really bad about it. But could you go home already?
ILU NINO.
Ohtani-san starts telling a story about some other guy in the entertainment industry and Arashi is like ...NOPE, NEVER HEARD OF HIM, SORRY. :|b and I crack up again. The story doesn't make a lot of sense, but I guess it's supposed to be scary, and Jun is squirming and smiling all nervous, although I guess that could just be because Matsumoto Jun is a total girl. And when he finishes that one, Nakashima-san from Othello asks if he has any more and Aiba and Nino are like NO THANK YOU ENOUGH ALREADY. And then Jun is like "Uwaaa, I really really don't want to go now" and I am like JUN YOU ARE A GIRL.
And then it is finally time to go inside, and jesus, this is seriously a lot of trouble just to decide who has to pay for Sho-chan's souvenirs. So Nino and Aiba get paired up and have to go first, and Nino is like TCH THIS IS THE WORST. And they're getting up to go and Aiba's like, wait what do you mean this is the worst?! And Nino explains that Aiba always freaks out, which freaks him out, and I love them a lot and mmmmm, Aiba's earring. I mean what, I am totally focused.
And then Aiba TRIPS ON A ROCK BEFORE THEY CAN EVEN GET INSIDE. I love you, Aiba.
And I love when Aiba and Nino get paired up for things, because Aiba is a total boke and Nino is supreme tsukkomi and it's funny, dammit.
Nino notices the first thing that's supposed to scare them - some kind of doll - and then there's... a cell phone with a baby crying as the ringtone, and Nino picks up and it's the AD. Okay, Himitsu no Arashi-chan, you just do your thing and I am going to roll with it. He tells them there's a camera in the locker ahead of them, and they should grab it and go to the boiler room, and I am having Silent Hill flashbacks AND THEN THE LINE GOES DEAD.
So they go into the boiler room and they take a few steps and THE DOOR SLAMS SHUT BEHIND THEM AND THEY'RE BOTH LIKE ADLKFJSDLKFJS. Scream counter up one for the Aimiya team. And Nino's like STFU OKAY.
The next room is... full of statues for some reason. I don't know. There's a chair with a little sign on it that says for them to each sit there and take a picture, so I guess that's what the camera is for. All I can think is "lol, Fatal Frame."
And then after Aiba gets his picture taken the chair sort of falls and he's like UWAAAA and the scream count goes up again and you guys are so going to lose. They go back out into the hall and OHTANI-SAN IS HIDING IN THE LOCKER. And he jumps out and Nino is like sdjflskd and hides in the corner and sounds like a frightened mouse, all NO MORE GHOST STORIES!
And he tells a story about... an evil mailbox? I... I don't know. And Nino whines that he never wants to work with Ohtani-san again.
So they go upstairs and A ZOMBIE STARTS FOLLOWING THEM. So of course Aiba screams and is like HOW LONG ARE THEY GOING TO FOLLOW US FOR, and honestly, Ninomiya, why are you letting the scaredy one lead the way. Although in this case, I guess Aiba would have screamed no matter what. And I am crying with laughter anyway.
Upstairs, they find... beds? Wait, no, they're gurneys, and they have to lie down on them and Aiba is totally covering his mouth so he won't scream. And then the gurneys start moving. The AD calls again and tells them to go in the morgue and take a picture with this doll. Aimiya totally DOES NOT WANT, but they go in anyway, and apparently there was supposed to be a trap on the door but I don't think it worked.
And oh man, I can't blame Aiba for freaking out here. Because they take the picture and then HANDS BURST THROUGH THE WALL BEHIND THEM. I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO. And then not only is the door locked, but there's a creepy ghost girl who I swear is trying to grope Nino (again, I would too), and they're both going I'M SORRY I'M REALLY SORRY SERIOUSLY. But it gets worse. Because the door is still locked, only now there is a ZOMBIE HORDE AFTER THEM. With one waiting in the hall for when they finally get the door open, too.
I almost want to ask why Japan is so cruel to their idols. And then I realize I'm watching Aiba and Ninomiya running down the stairs of an abandoned hospital with a zombie horde chasing them, and I cannot stop laughing.
And then they get outside and Aiba says, "It wasn't as bad as I thought, it was totally all right." And Nino's like, "It really wasn't that much of a big deal," and says the worst part was when he pulled a shoulder muscle on the stairs. CRYING. ILU BOTH SO MUCH.
AND THEN, THEN IT IS OHNO AND JUN'S TURN AND I CANNOT WAIT.
Because Jun is like, "We'll do well!" and puts his arm around Ohno.
And then he's like "...Should we go holding hands?"
And grabs Ohno's hand and drags him off.
I LOVE YOU, MATSUMOTO JUN.
(And you can tell Nino is thrilled that there are little camera feed screens back outside so he gets to watch Jun suffer.)
Jun is totally hanging back and making Ohno get the camera and everything, and they go into the boiler room. And Jun shrieks when the door closes and you see Nino and Aiba cackling like the little bitches they are.
I was seriously hoping it'd be Jun in the chair when it falls, but having Ohno do it is almost better, because he has NO REACTION. He just sort of looks around like "lolwhat?" Sasuga leader. XD Nino's like "He is awake, right? Is he asleep already?" ♥
Ohtani jumps out of the locker again and they like, shrink back against the wall and Jun freaks again, and the scream count is 0 to 2 in favor of Leader. LIKE WE DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING. The scary story's different this time, and... significantly scarier than evil mailboxes. It's about evil demon handprints on a car or something. It freaks Jun out pretty good, anyway.
AND THEN.
OHNO.
OHNO ASKS "HOW MANY WERE THERE?"
ONLY OHNO WOULD QUESTION THE LOGIC BEHIND A GHOST STORY.
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
It skips ahead to the morgue and Ohno still hasn't screamed once, because he is awesome, but they get to the door handle trap that even Aiba didn't scream at and Jun is like sdlfsd;ljkd. Jun, you utter girl. Aiba and Nino continue to laugh at his pain like the bitches they are.
BUT THEN COMES THE ZOMBIE HAND WALL.
AND I AM WAITING WITH GLEE BECAUSE EVEN OHNO'S GOING TO SCREAM HERE.
And Jun takes the picture and the hands burst out.
And Ohno and Jun just. Sort of stand there.
And then they kind of stare at the wall.
And then Jun KICKS IT.
I LOVE YOU, MATSUMOTO JUN.
So then comes the ghost bit, and I'm really hoping someone screams here but I don't know, they didn't freak out at ZOMBIE HANDS, so.
And the little fog machine goes off.
And Thriller starts playing in the background (I love the sound guys that work on Arashi's shows, really I do).
AND IT'S NOT JUST A GHOST, IT'S THE GHOST OF OOSHIMA-SAN FROM MORISANCHUU.
JUN'S FANGIRL. THE ONE THEY'VE HAD ON VS ARASHI AND SHUKUDAI-KUN.
CRYING FOREVER.
And she starts stalking Ohno around, saying she watches Maou, and then she gets to Jun.
And Jun just goes "...This is kind of sad for some reason."
DYING.
So they're running away from zombies, Nino comments that it's like a traffic jam on the stairs, and they come back out with Ooshima-san in tow. Jun says that even the stairs weren't scary because she kept telling them to be careful of the steps. I LOVE YOU OOSHIMA-SAN, YOU ARE THE MOST AWESOME FANGIRL EVER.
And they announce the rankings. And it's NINO. And I was like "what." Because all you heard was Aiba. But the girls from Othello were watching! And one of them says, "This kid's voice *points at Aiba* is too huge, so you remember it, but if you listen carefully, you *points at Nino* go "kyaaa!" every now and then!"
AND I AM DYING, BECAUSE IT'S TRUE AND NINO SQUEAKS LIKE A FRIGHTENED MOUSE.
I LOVE ARASHI SO MUCH.
They started out just talking about how they got stuck in this situation in the first place, and god do I love when they pick on Ohno about being the leader. They're stuck with a bill they can't pay (FROM BUYING SOUVENIRS FOR SHO-CHAN, I MIGHT ADD) because they thought the show was covering it and they're like, well, Leader should pay because he's Leader, right? And Ohno is all, "Don't just use the leader in these kinds of situations!" And Aiba and Jun just LAUGH.
So then they decide that... they should send Arashi-minus-Sho into a haunted abandoned hospital and the one who screams most loses and has to pay the bill? Japan, I don't understand you. BUT IT MAKES FOR GOOD TV SO I WILL NOT COMPLAIN. For some reason they're with Othello, which is this girl manzai duo that seems sort of adorable, and they're like, oh yeah, this actually used to be a real hospital, it's not just a set, and 20 years ago...
And Aiba just goes "...Let's not do that kind of thing." With Nino backing him up, like "It's definitely better if we don't."
LOLLING ALREADY.
So they bring out this guy Ohtani-san who's a scary storyteller just to freak Arashi out the extra mile before they go inside.
Jun: That's okay, you didn't have to...
Aiba: Well, you came all the way just for us-
Nino: And we feel really bad about it. But could you go home already?
ILU NINO.
Ohtani-san starts telling a story about some other guy in the entertainment industry and Arashi is like ...NOPE, NEVER HEARD OF HIM, SORRY. :|b and I crack up again. The story doesn't make a lot of sense, but I guess it's supposed to be scary, and Jun is squirming and smiling all nervous, although I guess that could just be because Matsumoto Jun is a total girl. And when he finishes that one, Nakashima-san from Othello asks if he has any more and Aiba and Nino are like NO THANK YOU ENOUGH ALREADY. And then Jun is like "Uwaaa, I really really don't want to go now" and I am like JUN YOU ARE A GIRL.
And then it is finally time to go inside, and jesus, this is seriously a lot of trouble just to decide who has to pay for Sho-chan's souvenirs. So Nino and Aiba get paired up and have to go first, and Nino is like TCH THIS IS THE WORST. And they're getting up to go and Aiba's like, wait what do you mean this is the worst?! And Nino explains that Aiba always freaks out, which freaks him out, and I love them a lot and mmmmm, Aiba's earring. I mean what, I am totally focused.
And then Aiba TRIPS ON A ROCK BEFORE THEY CAN EVEN GET INSIDE. I love you, Aiba.
And I love when Aiba and Nino get paired up for things, because Aiba is a total boke and Nino is supreme tsukkomi and it's funny, dammit.
Nino notices the first thing that's supposed to scare them - some kind of doll - and then there's... a cell phone with a baby crying as the ringtone, and Nino picks up and it's the AD. Okay, Himitsu no Arashi-chan, you just do your thing and I am going to roll with it. He tells them there's a camera in the locker ahead of them, and they should grab it and go to the boiler room, and I am having Silent Hill flashbacks AND THEN THE LINE GOES DEAD.
So they go into the boiler room and they take a few steps and THE DOOR SLAMS SHUT BEHIND THEM AND THEY'RE BOTH LIKE ADLKFJSDLKFJS. Scream counter up one for the Aimiya team. And Nino's like STFU OKAY.
The next room is... full of statues for some reason. I don't know. There's a chair with a little sign on it that says for them to each sit there and take a picture, so I guess that's what the camera is for. All I can think is "lol, Fatal Frame."
And then after Aiba gets his picture taken the chair sort of falls and he's like UWAAAA and the scream count goes up again and you guys are so going to lose. They go back out into the hall and OHTANI-SAN IS HIDING IN THE LOCKER. And he jumps out and Nino is like sdjflskd and hides in the corner and sounds like a frightened mouse, all NO MORE GHOST STORIES!
And he tells a story about... an evil mailbox? I... I don't know. And Nino whines that he never wants to work with Ohtani-san again.
So they go upstairs and A ZOMBIE STARTS FOLLOWING THEM. So of course Aiba screams and is like HOW LONG ARE THEY GOING TO FOLLOW US FOR, and honestly, Ninomiya, why are you letting the scaredy one lead the way. Although in this case, I guess Aiba would have screamed no matter what. And I am crying with laughter anyway.
Upstairs, they find... beds? Wait, no, they're gurneys, and they have to lie down on them and Aiba is totally covering his mouth so he won't scream. And then the gurneys start moving. The AD calls again and tells them to go in the morgue and take a picture with this doll. Aimiya totally DOES NOT WANT, but they go in anyway, and apparently there was supposed to be a trap on the door but I don't think it worked.
And oh man, I can't blame Aiba for freaking out here. Because they take the picture and then HANDS BURST THROUGH THE WALL BEHIND THEM. I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO. And then not only is the door locked, but there's a creepy ghost girl who I swear is trying to grope Nino (again, I would too), and they're both going I'M SORRY I'M REALLY SORRY SERIOUSLY. But it gets worse. Because the door is still locked, only now there is a ZOMBIE HORDE AFTER THEM. With one waiting in the hall for when they finally get the door open, too.
I almost want to ask why Japan is so cruel to their idols. And then I realize I'm watching Aiba and Ninomiya running down the stairs of an abandoned hospital with a zombie horde chasing them, and I cannot stop laughing.
And then they get outside and Aiba says, "It wasn't as bad as I thought, it was totally all right." And Nino's like, "It really wasn't that much of a big deal," and says the worst part was when he pulled a shoulder muscle on the stairs. CRYING. ILU BOTH SO MUCH.
AND THEN, THEN IT IS OHNO AND JUN'S TURN AND I CANNOT WAIT.
Because Jun is like, "We'll do well!" and puts his arm around Ohno.
And then he's like "...Should we go holding hands?"
And grabs Ohno's hand and drags him off.
I LOVE YOU, MATSUMOTO JUN.
(And you can tell Nino is thrilled that there are little camera feed screens back outside so he gets to watch Jun suffer.)
Jun is totally hanging back and making Ohno get the camera and everything, and they go into the boiler room. And Jun shrieks when the door closes and you see Nino and Aiba cackling like the little bitches they are.
I was seriously hoping it'd be Jun in the chair when it falls, but having Ohno do it is almost better, because he has NO REACTION. He just sort of looks around like "lolwhat?" Sasuga leader. XD Nino's like "He is awake, right? Is he asleep already?" ♥
Ohtani jumps out of the locker again and they like, shrink back against the wall and Jun freaks again, and the scream count is 0 to 2 in favor of Leader. LIKE WE DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING. The scary story's different this time, and... significantly scarier than evil mailboxes. It's about evil demon handprints on a car or something. It freaks Jun out pretty good, anyway.
AND THEN.
OHNO.
OHNO ASKS "HOW MANY WERE THERE?"
ONLY OHNO WOULD QUESTION THE LOGIC BEHIND A GHOST STORY.
I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
It skips ahead to the morgue and Ohno still hasn't screamed once, because he is awesome, but they get to the door handle trap that even Aiba didn't scream at and Jun is like sdlfsd;ljkd. Jun, you utter girl. Aiba and Nino continue to laugh at his pain like the bitches they are.
BUT THEN COMES THE ZOMBIE HAND WALL.
AND I AM WAITING WITH GLEE BECAUSE EVEN OHNO'S GOING TO SCREAM HERE.
And Jun takes the picture and the hands burst out.
And Ohno and Jun just. Sort of stand there.
And then they kind of stare at the wall.
And then Jun KICKS IT.
I LOVE YOU, MATSUMOTO JUN.
So then comes the ghost bit, and I'm really hoping someone screams here but I don't know, they didn't freak out at ZOMBIE HANDS, so.
And the little fog machine goes off.
And Thriller starts playing in the background (I love the sound guys that work on Arashi's shows, really I do).
AND IT'S NOT JUST A GHOST, IT'S THE GHOST OF OOSHIMA-SAN FROM MORISANCHUU.
JUN'S FANGIRL. THE ONE THEY'VE HAD ON VS ARASHI AND SHUKUDAI-KUN.
CRYING FOREVER.
And she starts stalking Ohno around, saying she watches Maou, and then she gets to Jun.
And Jun just goes "...This is kind of sad for some reason."
DYING.
So they're running away from zombies, Nino comments that it's like a traffic jam on the stairs, and they come back out with Ooshima-san in tow. Jun says that even the stairs weren't scary because she kept telling them to be careful of the steps. I LOVE YOU OOSHIMA-SAN, YOU ARE THE MOST AWESOME FANGIRL EVER.
And they announce the rankings. And it's NINO. And I was like "what." Because all you heard was Aiba. But the girls from Othello were watching! And one of them says, "This kid's voice *points at Aiba* is too huge, so you remember it, but if you listen carefully, you *points at Nino* go "kyaaa!" every now and then!"
AND I AM DYING, BECAUSE IT'S TRUE AND NINO SQUEAKS LIKE A FRIGHTENED MOUSE.
I LOVE ARASHI SO MUCH.