Fallen Angel
Chapter 9 - Fallen Angel
Willow shut the book she was reading with a thump. Deeply bored and a little frustrated, she rubbed her eyes and stretched. Three days down the tubes. Three whole days since things went all flooey with the others and nothing.
Sorting through the morgue paperwork one more time, she went through her list: three different causes of death, no ritual markings… The only reason this is even a ‘Scooby’ thing is because of the IDs they’ve been finding on the bodies.
What the frilly heck am I doing? I’m not… This is more cop stuff. ’Kay, so, cop stuff…think like a cop, maybe? But I’m not a cop, I’m a Wiccan! Neatly stacking the papers, she returned them to the manila envelope.
Glancing around the empty library, she came to a decision and picked up her phone. After keying in a text message for Dawn, she waited patiently, hoping they could get past the past.
A few messages were exchanged, but otherwise, thirty minutes went by relatively uneventfully and she found herself sitting with Dawn and Kennedy. After settling in, they went over what she had found and set to work. Maybe fresh eyes will help? Really, I’m just glad they’re here and things are a little less intense.
Dawn grabbed the book and lost herself in the text while Kennedy cleaned her fingernails, looking supremely bored. Willow gave Kennedy a smile and went back to her own research. An hour later, Dawn was mumbling and shaking her head.
“Willow,” she whispered, “this isn’t a current prophecy. From what I can make out, this has to do with the spell you guys invoked to defeat Adam. Something about the after effects of the spell. I think maybe you guys weren’t supposed to be alive after that wore off.”
“Uh?” the witch gasped, looking up from a book.
“See, here,” Dawn directed, pointing to the specific references to Buffy, Giles, Xander, and Willow. Tracing further down the text, she remarked, “You guys were supposed to be killed by the first slayer.”
Willow blew her bangs out of her eyes and huffed, “Great! I wonder how many prophecies there are that say we should all be dead.” After dismissing the other two with a gesture, she rubbed her temples. Focusing on the book in front of her, she mumbled, “Okay, well then, I guess that’s something. Thanks, Dawnie.”
Rising to her feet, Dawn placed a hand on the witch’s shoulder and asked, “You sure you don’t want us to stay and help?” When Willow shook her head, Dawn patted her shoulder and stepped over to join Kennedy.
Willow stared blankly at the book and admitted, “There’s nothing here. I’ve been here for nearly three days and the little bit I did find you just clarified.” Looking up at the two girls, she quietly asked, “So, how are things at the apartment?”
“Okay, I guess. Xander’s been moping around like someone killed his puppy and Faith’s had him sleeping on the couch for the past two nights,” Dawn answered in a bland voice.
Willow prompted, “And you?” meeting Dawn’s gaze.
Dawn shrugged and looked down at the table before replying, “Okay, I guess. It’s not like Buffy’s never run away before. It’s just she usually doesn’t take you with her.”
Anger flared. Struggling to stifle it, Willow protested, “Dawnie, that’s not fair.” The effort just made her voice sound strained. Dammit! Less than twenty words about something non-researchy and we jump right back to tense.
“Why isn’t it?” Dawn replied defiantly. Leveling her gaze on Willow, she fumed, “I mean, we both lost Mom, but she didn’t have to deal. She was dead.” As it occurred to her that this wasn’t the most rational argument in human history, she finished lamely, “It’s like I’m the biggest afterthought in her life.”
Willow retorted vehemently, “That’s not true! Buffy loves you. Most of the stuff she’s done was for you.”
“That’s easy for you to say. She’s always had you wrapped around her little finger,” Dawn grumbled. After pausing momentarily to consider her words, she amended, “Well, when you weren’t trying to kill each other.”
Seeing that this was going nowhere, Willow responded dully, “You two seriously need to talk.” What was it Einstein said about insanity? Something like it’s ‘doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. This is totally pointless.
Kennedy had heard enough. Fed up, she spat, “Willow, why? Why do you always defend her? Even when she’s wrong, you back her up. She’s neglected Dawn for as long as I’ve been around and, if the past two-and-a-half years have been any indication, Dawn’s got every right to be upset.”
“Kennedy, stay out of this,” Willow warned.
Calming down, Dawn sent pleading eyes to the slayer in order to avoid a total blow out.
Kennedy heeded the warning her girlfriend sent her and backed down.
Dawn cleared her throat to soften her tone and reflected, “Willow, the point is you’ve never been the most unbiased person to talk to about Buffy. It’s okay, I appreciate that you care, but I’ll work it out with her, okay?”
With a curt nod Willow replied, “Fine, but promise it’ll be soon.” Isn’t that what I just said? She sighed. ’Kay…whatever.
Motioning for Kennedy to follow, Dawn offered an arid, “Maybe.” Willow nodded and watched them disappear around a stack of books.
As Buffy rounded her desk, returning the restroom, she chirped, “Hey, old man.” Taking a seat across from her partner before she enquired, “What’s got you in a huff?” The lab’s sure been taking their sweet time with the trace evidence. You’d think Nekko’d get the concept ‘rush order.’ It’s not like it’s hard. Simpled up: we need it before beers with the boys, not after.
Jimmy glanced up from the computer and mumbled, “Nothin’. Just got off the phone with vic three’s family. Let’s just say that that was a conversation I choose never to have again. You got anything?”
“Nope, no, great epiphanies between the restroom and here,” Buffy snarked, appearing momentarily amused. After a brief pause, she snapped serious and reported in a business-like manner, “Footwork’s been a total waste. Nothing’s coming back from any of the families.”
Waving her in closer, he remarked, “I don’t want to start shouting ‘witch’ or nothin’, but I kinda am. I mean since these girls obviously have something to do with you and your family. And since your family is, uh…special. What’s to say that whoever’s doin’ this isn’t, uh…a witch?”
“We’re looking at that.”
Sensing that there was more, Jimmy prompted, “But?”
Buffy quickly filled in, “But there aren’t any markings on the bodies, Jim. There’s no ritualistic feel to these killings. Besides, I just don’t get the spidey tingles when I go to a scene.”
His eyebrows knit as he listened. He smirked and asked in amusement, “Spidey tingles?”
“Slayer thing,” Buffy offered. Smiling as she taunted, “Don’t any of you old guys know a good pop culture reference when you hear one?” Buffy rolled her eyes and continued, “It just seems like these girls are here to get my attention. Besides, Willow would’ve told us if there was magick involved. She’s way better at picking that up than me.”
Jimmy stretched back in his chair and chewed his bottom lip pensively. A few moments passed before he prompted, “Right, okay, so, brainstorm time. Top to bottom, what do we know?” He put his hand to his chin, scuffing the stubble as he listed the facts, “We both agree that the kill-site is different. These alleys are only dump-sites. Each C.O.D. is different. Murillo had her C.A.D.L.; Poulsen had hers, yours, and Red’s; Eaton had hers, Xander’s, and Faith’s.”
Leaning forward, he planted his feet, made eye contacted and asked, “What does that tell us?”
“It tells us that, as of right now, our unsub wants at least Will, Xander, Faith, and I to know that they know,” Buffy replied, smiling wryly before adding, “‘Know what’s the real question, but it’s drawing us in.”
The lights came on and Jimmy responded, “Which means this was planned. Also means our unsub had to have contact with our girls to get them to come to the city.”
“And survey says? Phone records, which we have,” Buffy filled in, appearing amused.
“Then we start there. We go back to the basics and wait on Nekko to get back to us with the lab work. I still don’t wanna discount the…other stuff. I’m not eliminating anything at this point.” A little of the tension eased and Jimmy’s expression warmed for the first time all day.
She leaned on the corner of his desk and sighed. What Jimmy said makes some sorta sense, but there’s something really not right and it’s making me crazy. It’s like I can’t quite put my finger on it. Backing up…
She cleared her throat to get Jimmy’s attention and prodded, “’Kay, so…let’s say these killings are part of some ritual.” Putting her hand out to silence her partner, she continued without pause, “Now, before you go all ‘I told you so’ on me. I’m just playing the devil’s advocate. Why? What type of ritual and why bring me in on it? In case you missed it when I told you about my first profession, I’m the one person you don’t want cranky. Especially if you’re of the not-human persuasion. It kinda gives me the green light to slice and dice.”
“Who’s to say they’re not human? From what I’ve seen, Red’s pretty damn human and she’s...”
Cutting in, Buffy interjected, “Yeah, but Will, she’s-” shuffling her feet uncomfortably “-she’s more than.” Well, that was less than sensational.
Jimmy’s lips tightened and he asked, “What the fuck does that mean, Cupcake?”
“It’s kinda a long story,” Buffy replied with a shrug.
Jimmy looked at his watch and said, “’S alright, it’s lunch anyhow and I got time. My treat, let’s go.”
Buffy huffed and followed her partner out of the building. It’s gonna be a long afternoon.
The restaurant’s other patrons chattered noisily as Buffy placed her fork on her plate and allowed the waitress to clear some of the dishes. She sat quietly, giving Jimmy time to consider what she’d just shared.
Once their server had left, Buffy concluded, “So see, Will isn’t not-human, but she’s like human-plus. Kinda like me.” Gotta give him credit, at least he’s still conscious. Careful to keep her tone even, she remarked, “Jimmy, I know it’s kinda a lot to take in, but it’s really no different than what I am. She’s just more in tune with nature.” Yeah, that’ll keep him from hitting the roof…or the floor. It sounded lame even to me.
“So let me try this on for size.” Adjusting his seat, Jimmy fiddled with the napkin and continued, “Red got into magics to help you out with your duty or whatever. She brought you back from the dead, which spiraled into some type of addiction. Then her lover got shot and she tried to end the world after flaying her lover’s killer alive?”
“Ah, yeah, that’s pretty much it in a nutshell. But when you say it like that it makes it sound all…all weird.” She smiled sheepishly and waited for him to finish up.
He clarified, “So, since she went off the mojo wagon she’s been like super witch.” Stopping to take a sip of his coffee before he asked, “How’m I doin’ so far?”
Buffy nodded her head, without breaking eye contact and replied, “I mean she did do that spell that created a whole bunch of slayers, but she’s doing the ‘normal person’ thing now.”
Jimmy flashed a wry grin and remarked in a gruff tone, “Cupcake-” he folded his arms across his chest “-she ain’t normal and neither are you.”
Buffy rolled her eyes and tried to explain, “I…we know that, but we’re shooting for some sorta normal. We want to be Clark Kent.” When Jimmy quirked an eyebrow, she quickly filled in, “But without the boy part.”
Sighing, she tried again, “We need some ‘Joan Average’ downtime. I did mention that we invented the plural of apocalypse? I wanted a break, or really a retirement from that. There are others to do that duty.”
Keeping his tone moderate, he replied, “Yeah, but, I mean, okay, I accepted the ‘slayer.’ That part wasn’t-” He paused thoughtfully, obviously struggling with the details. Finally, he managed, “But this-you have seen her right? Petite, red hair, about five-six, cute with an impish grin. I don’t think she could harm a kitty let alone do what you’re tellin’ me she did.”
Lifting her napkin from her lap, Buffy started picking at it as she decided how to answer. “I know it’s…” she began and broke off. Switching her approach, she opted for the simple, remarking firmly, “Just trust me on this ’kay?”
He rubbed at his chin and nodded in agreement. The waitress came by and dropped the check off. He took a look at the amount and fished for his wallet. After dropping some money on the table, he rubbed the back of his neck and sputtered, “Uh, Cupcake….er, I don’t mean to be nosy or nothin’, but, eh…have you talked to anyone else besides Faith?”
Buffy flinched at the question and quietly replied, “No, I’m not ready to deal with them yet.”
“Look, kid, I...take it from someone who knows. Don’t let shit sit between you and your family. You need to have a sit down with them. Why don’t you knock off and go back to your apartment. I’ll cover for ya and pick you up at four or five?” He grinned hoping to win her over with charm.
Shaking her head, Buffy declined, “Jimmy, thanks, but it’s not the right time.”
“The right time’s gonna be when? When you’re dead, er, ah, again…or when they are? We don’t know what this unsub’s intentions are. With you doin’ what you used to do, how can you not see that time is-what they say-of the essence?” Jimmy laid a meaty hand over her two smaller ones and implored, “If all y’inz guys get through this and you just let it sit, no good’ll come of it.”
“You sound like you’re speaking from personal experience. You want to share?” Buffy nudged gently. Removing her upper hand from the pile, she patted his arm in a reassuring gesture before sitting back to wait.
Jimmy looked down and stared at his coffee as he mumbled, “No, but I know I got some talkin’ to do of my own.”
“No fair old man. Spill. You know mine. What’s the what?” Expecting a response, she looked at him with an expression she usually saved for people she interrogated. I get the not-sharey, but I know now, it would’ve been a mistake. At least when this is all over, I’ll have a friend.
Jimmy fidgeted under the intense gaze of the small blonde sitting across from him. Sipping at the cold, bitter coffee, he sat up, then cleared his throat before speaking. “I got two kids from my first marriage. One, Susan, she’s gonna be twenty-eight next month, and a boy, Jimmy Junior. He’s twenty-four. Good kids, both of them. Never really had a lick of trouble from either of them…” he trailed off to collect his thoughts.
“Jim-James, he likes to be called James-he was always, uh…different,” he stammered. Quickly covering his insecurity with by offering, “Now mind you, that ain’t a bad thing. It’s just what is.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully and explained, “Well, James, he, uh, came out to me.”
He shifted his frame in the chair uncomfortably. Anxiety clearly reflected on his features as he remarked, “I’m gonna say this and let me tell you that I ain’t proud. I think that what I said to my kid’s prob’ly the biggest regret I got. Ya know? I mean, ya’ ever say somethin’ and wish that you could take it back?”
Buffy nodded. Uh, yeah, boy, do I…know that is.
“The damage, it’s done and even when you know you’re wrong you can’t seem to find the words to make it right. He just…I don’t wanna use it as an excuse.” He raised his hands palms up and tried to clarify, “It’s just he didn’t understand, kids like that got the snot beat of ’em. They didn’t last long in my neighborhood. And ’sides the fact that, you grow up Irish Catholic, you get a one way ticket to Hell for bein’ that way.” He shrugged, losing some of his steam. Finishing up quietly, he admitted, “Since I, uh, kicked him out, Susie or Jim won’t talk to me. They have once or twice, but it didn’t go so well.”
Buffy was floored. Grappling with understanding, she redirected, “So, why the freak out with Nate?”
“That…between James and, well,” he tried, clenching his jaw he struggled for the right words. The gravity of his situation weighed heavily on him. Taking time, He chose his words very carefully. “I guess it was when I saw you and Willow together, it just kinda changed.”
“Huh?” Buffy leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table.
Jimmy sat forward and met his partner’s gaze. “When I walked in on you two at the coffee shop, you wanna know my first reaction?”
“Sure,” she answered cautiously.
He confessed, “I wanted to wring Willow’s neck for the tears I saw. It wasn’t ‘Buffy’s gay.’ It wasn’t disgust. It was just anger ’cause you looked upset.” Maintaining eye contact, he spoke his mind, “After I left, I started thinkin’ and, since I was Mr. Desk Jockey the rest of the day, it worked out. Then at dinner it clicked more. Like really clicked. What I got from you two is that it don’t matter.”
He leaned back in his chair and waved a hand at the woman across from him. When Buffy perked up, he continued, “The thing that stuck, Cupcake, it don’t matter the parts you have. And here’s my sensitivity training coming out.” A wry smile graced his features and he winked, erasing the sour expression on Buffy’s face. “It’s pretty fuckin’ silly to be prejudiced against someone ’cause they’re in love. You’re happy, Cupcake. I’ve seen more life outta you since Red’s been here than the past year and a half we’ve worked together. That’s a solid in my book.”
He took another sip of his stale coffee and made a face before remarking, “Nate? That was more a cop thing.” Seeing the raised eyebrow of his partner, he conceded, “Okay, so it was also me being over-protective. The ‘cop thing’ is true too. You and I both know there are rules when you’re a cop. We watch the six of everyone that carries a shield.” He jammed his finger at the air punctuating his statement and said, “He stepped over that line. Some cops, they don’t stick to the rules. They don’t last long. The ones that do, do well.”
Buffy let the silence stretch absorbing the information. She watched the nervous sweat bead on his brow and the way he pawed at his tie. ’Kay, so…I don’t know what’s more shocking: Jimmy has kids, or his Pat Robertson-like reaction to his gay son?
“So,” he said, wiping his sweaty palms on his slacks. “When I tell you that you should talk to your family, I’m serious. It ain’t no fun not havin’ ’em with you.”
“Jimmy.” Buffy reached across the table and grabbed his hand. “Thank you.” She looked at him and stood to give him a hug.
Uncomfortable as he was he let the girl embrace him. “Now, Cupcake, what would your girl say if she saw you in the arms of another?”
“Depends.” Buffy let go and eyed the older man. “She either might ask to join, or try to kill you.” Buffy winked and laughed when Jimmy blanched.
“Ya know, that ain’t very nice. If what you say is true about Red, then, uh, she’s kinda scary.” He placed a hand at the small of her back and led them outside.
“Just don’t make her cranky,” Buffy chirped, making her way out the door.
“Check, no cranky redhead.” Following the blonde outside, he pressed, “So you gonna go talk to your family or not?”
Buffy looked up at him and whined, “Any way I can get out of it?”
“No,” said the detective as he lit a cigarette.
“Then, yeah,” Buffy huffed and glanced at her watch. “I’ll see you at the apartment at five?”
“Will do.”
Buffy fidgeted as she suggested, “Jimmy, call your kids. If-if we can help…maybe you should call them tonight? Invite them over for dinner. I’d like to help.” Yeah…this is bright. You know no good ever comes of meddling, yet here you are meddling away. There’s probably an award for this sort of monumental stupidity.
He looked down at the blonde and shook his head. “I don’t think that’s such a hot idea, Cupcake.”
“You don’t know that. Just…just do me this favor and invite them over tonight for dinner. We can make it a family reunion type thing.” She looked at him and gave a small pout. The sad thing, I’d like to think I’m helping. Yeah…insane doses of optimism always end well for me.
“Quit lookin’ at me like that.” He flicked the butt of the cigarette out into traffic and sighed. “Fine, I’ll call. I’ll ask, but don’t be expectin’ anything.”
Helping…or at least, it can’t hurt to try. Still telling myself that, dammit! It’ll go well. Something has to. Buffy beamed at his concession and said, “I’m gonna walk. Not far from the house, ’kay? I’ll see you in a bit.” Now for the firing squad…
She turned right on Madison and continued north. Once she was safely out of view, her pace slowed to just over listless. How can I expect to help Jimmy with his, when I’m clueless what to do with my own? There’s just so much…
Sure, I can get some of the anger, but what do they expect? What do they want from me? I can’t be everything to them and I can’t continue to lie to them just to make things less tense. What do I want from them? I want…I want them to leave me be. I want to go to work like a normal person, share my life with the person I love and die in bed surrounded by fat grandchildren.
Okay, so maybe not grandkids, ’cause that would mean that I would have to have kids and well, that thought makes my tummy do flips. So, no grandkids, maybe some nieces or nephews and Willow in bed with me. We could die together. It’ll be romantic.
Back on track…
I have no idea what to say to them.
Jimmy watched his partner disappear around the corner. Kid’s gotta point. Though, the last time I tried to talk to Susie or James, I got hung up on once and then yelled at for calling. Susie-Q’s quite the firecracker-too much like her mom.
Removing his cell phone, he called P.S. one-seventy-three and waited for the receptionist to patch his call though. Waiting, he gazed up at the cloudy sky.
A few clicks on the line, brought his daughter’s questioning voice through to his ear. “This is Susan.”
“Hey, Susie. It’s, uh, your dad.” Jimmy walked over and rested his back against the front of the restaurant wall.
“What do you want?”
Jimmy tensed at his daughter’s tone. “I-look, Susie-Q, just, uh, I was calling to ask if you and Jim…James had any plans for dinner?” He rested his head against the cool brick, waiting on a response, or for the line to go dead.
“And you care because? Last time I checked, we weren’t talking,” the woman on the other phone snipped.
Jimmy flinched at the acidic tone and pleaded, “Susan, please, don’t, I just want to invite you two to dinner. My partner’s family is in town and they were going to come over for dinner. I wanted to…we need to talk.”
The phone clicked on her earring when Susan shifted it to her other shoulder. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
Leaning away from the wall, Jimmy started to pace as he spoke, “Don’t bust my balls here, Susie-Q. How about you ask James? If he says okay, then will you two come over between six-thirty and sevenish? ”
“I’ll ask,” she replied and hung up the phone.
After snapping his cell closed, Jimmy reached for his cigarettes and lit another one up. Well, that went better than I thought. Now, what the hell am I gonna do for the next two hours? Right, phone logs…maybe I can get some lackeys to do the grunt work.
Buffy eased the door open and cringed when the three occupants looked up at her. Faith was sitting on the couch. Xander and Giles were over by the kitchen reading from a stack of books. Straightening up, she walked in and sat down at the table.
“So did you guys, ah, find anything?” Buffy asked lamely.
Xander looked away, but Giles closed the book he was reading and said, “Hello, Buffy. No, it would appear we are coming up empty handed. What about you?”
“Will was working on some stuff at the library, but I won’t know until later. Jimmy and I are waiting on some lab reports. I should know more tomorrow, hopefully.” Buffy pushed back from the table and stood. “Uh, Xander? Can I see you alone for a few?” Buffy asked looking up at the man.
“Yeah, sure.” Xander stood and offered, “Office?”
Buffy nodded and followed Xander to the room. She shut the door and smiled as he shifted nervously. He looks like I feel. Fighting just sucks.
“I...” Buffy started then stopped. Raking her fingers through her hair, she collected her thoughts and tried again, “Okay, so, you and I, we have this habit of getting really pissed at each other and getting over it. I know it’s patched things up in the past. This-” she waved a finger between them “-that’s not the way this is going to go. So, let me start by saying, I’m sorry for saying the things I said about Faith and you. It was out of line and I really didn’t mean it.”
“Buff, stop okay.” He put a hand up. Leaning against the desk, he admitted, “It was just badness all around. Faith and I have done a lot of talking over the past few days. She said some things that maybe I didn’t want to hear, but probably needed to. I was a big dummy. In fact, I’m wagering, I was the biggest-to coin a phrase-poophead on the planet. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Xander, I didn’t help.” Buffy slumped against the window, kicking her foot against the carpet.
“But it’s not like you hurt, either,” he replied frankly. Scrubbing his fingers over his cheek, he remarked, “Look, there are all these things we never discussed…stuff we should’ve. Like me losing an eye and us kicking you out of the house for starters.”
A melancholy grin flickered over his features as he commented wryly, “And we can’t forget the bestest year ever-the year we brought you back.”
He pushed off the desk and stood in front of her. Gently he took her shoulders in his hands, forcing her to meet his eyes. Earnestly, he pressed, “Let me start by saying my eye…I’m over it. We all thought we did what we needed to do and, despite my being ‘Mr. Bitter Man’ over losing that nice thing called depth perception, I’d do it all over again. I trusted you then, Buffy, and I trust you now. That won’t change. It wasn’t your fault.”
Breaking away from him she turned to look out the window, softly admitting, “It was.”
“No, it wasn’t.” Turning Buffy around, he pointed at his glass eye adamantly saying, “This was Caleb’s doing and, well, he got his. So, no hard feelings. Second, let me say that kicking you out of the house wasn’t what was supposed to happen that night. I don’t know if there are cards big enough to say how wrong it went.”
Shrugging, she responded, “I think…looking back, I can see how it got out of control.” Her attention turned to a patch of wall behind him. She leaned into his touch and mumbled, “I think I know why you guys did it. Maybe it’s what needed to be done. I honestly don’t know.” Meeting his gaze, she asked, “So, if we are both over it, then why were we fighting?”
“Because I’m a jerk and you’re the poster child for the avoidy when it comes to big emotional talks?” Xander replied with a crooked, playful smile.
She returned the smile before joking, “I used to be the poster child for that, but Will won’t let me anymore. Something about it being unhealthy and world-endy.”
Releasing her, he leaned back against the desk and replied, “She’s right.” He paused to wink before adding, “Of course, we both know she was always the brains of the operation.” Moving his arms up and down in a gesture of mock supplication, he kidded, “We bow to the brains of the group.”
Sobering, he ran his hand through his hair. “Umm, Buff, I just want to say what I said about Willow and you that uh, was ugly, like Troma film ugly, and I’m sorry. I’m glad you guys are giving it a chance. I kinda always thought that she would be the best for you, next to me…”
“Xander,” Buffy interrupted, taking a step back to put some distance between them.
His demeanor turned rigid. He folded his arms across his chest and rebuffed, “No, Buff, that was just…I don’t know what I was thinking. Words were coming out and even as I said them I couldn’t believe it and I couldn’t stop it.” Relaxing, he teased, “Do me a favor and don’t tell Willow all of it though, ’cause I kinda like my skin. It’s grown on me the past twenty or so years.” He gave her a sheepish grin before asking, “What now?”
Placing a hand on her hip, she replied, “Honestly, I don’t know.”
“For starters, let’s do this right. Clean slate, you and me, right now,” he responded forthrightly. Righting himself, he hung his head and rocked on his heels. A lighthearted smirk infected his features when he teased, “You wouldn’t happen to have a bag full of stuff and a little wooden stake that I could return to you would you?”
Shaking her head, she replied, “Nope, but I’m good with hugs too.”
“Hugs are good.” He grinned broadly as he cautiously shuffled forward. “Better when they’re given by your unnaturally strong best friend who’s being very reasonable and forgiving.”
“Come here, you ass.” Buffy opened up her arms and embraced her best friend.
Xander asked, “Buff-” still holding on to the blonde “-not to, ah, open up more worms, but why did you move here?”
Buffy released the breath she’d been holding and replied, “Guilt. After it all went down, I felt so bad about everything. Getting away was the only thing I could think of.”
“Uh, wow, honesty…but, why ‘guilt’?” He pulled her back and looked her in the eye to gauge her reaction.
She replied bluntly, “Uh, say hello to your eye.” The pained look the slayer wore deepened when she continued, “Then say hello to Willow’s bender, then Faith and Dawn. God, Dawn…if she ever decided to go to therapy, it’d break the Council’s bank. Finally-just ’cause more misery’s fun and constructive-toss Giles in there too.”
Xander gave her a look that said ‘don’t be stupid, it wasn’t your fault.’
She shrugged and muttered ruefully, “Yeah, yeah, I know.” Hanging her head, she admitted, “Need to talk to the watcher man.” Her lips pursed. “So, running away…” breathing out, she spoke through the sigh “…probably not the best option, but it was the only thing I could think of.”
“So, we are okay?” he asked.
“We’ll get there. I love you, Xander.” She wrapped him in another hug and asked, “Would you go get the tweed-clad, British guy from the kitchen table?”
“I’ll send him in. Oh, and I love you too, Buff.” He kissed the top of her head and let her go.
As Xander left to fetch Giles, Buffy turned to the window.
“Buffy?” Giles queried from the door.
She replied, “Come on in, Giles.” Turning from her cloud watching, she rested her back against the glass.
“Xander said that you wanted to see me?” He gently shut the door and walked farther into the room, stopping when he reached the desk.
“Yeah, we need to talk. I know I was never one for the talks, but I don’t want to put this off any longer,” she reflected dryly.
“I see,” Giles said, standing stiffly by the office chair.
Buffy felt an unwanted smile tug at her lips as she took in the discomfort this was causing the man. “So, I’m going to say, I’m not sorry. I haven’t done anything wrong, but I need you to get that you and I aren’t cool, Giles.”
Buffy pressed herself closer to the glass. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she fought to stave off tears. It was a losing battle. A few spilled over as she reflected, “When my mom died, I expected you, above everyone else, to help me.” After angrily wiping her eyes, she pressed on, “When I came back, you just took off and didn’t tell me why, or give me a chance to fix it.”
Running her tongue over her lips, she tasted salt. Her hands went to her face. She swiped at the tears that were still falling. Flinging her arm out, she spat, “You just flew to jolly old and expected me to just be okay with everything. Didn’t you see?” She shook her head and continued, “God, I mean-then you go behind my back and try to kill the only person who seemed to give a damn about was going on with me.”
“Buffy…I-” Giles tried, but was stopped by an upheld hand.
“No, I’m not done.” Her arms folded across her chest as her shoulders slumped. “So, right, I’ve got this pent up hostility toward you. I’m sure if we had time to sort through it and attend some touchy, feely therapy sessions that we could probably get through it. But like usual, right now, we don’t.” Meeting his soft gaze, she said, “So just save it, okay? You don’t have to apologize. When this is said and done, you can go back to England and do whatever it is that you do.”
A flash of pain sullied his features. “If that’s what you want,” he conceded.
“It’s what it is.” Buffy pushed away from the window pane and made her way to the door.
“Buffy, wait?” Giles asked quietly, still rooted to his spot.
She turned to look.
He offered, “You may not want to hear this, but it needs to be said,” his voice soft, yet firm. “I am sorry. The way that I behaved, the things I did, you may not have understood, but I felt I had to do them. You relied on me far too much. You needed to stand on your own.” His brow furrowed as he stammered, “I-I am sorry for leaving, but I didn’t know what else to do. I felt I was holding you back.”
Buffy shook her head and quietly confessed, “You were the only thing holding me together.”
“You may think that, but that’s not what I believed at the time.” He inched his way over to her and tilted her head up. “You, all of you, were looking to me for answers I couldn’t provide. What was I to do?”
“I don’t know.” Buffy looked away and suggested, “Open up that usually wordy mouth of yours and say something?”
Giles’ finger dropped from under her chin and he removed his glasses pinching the bridge of his nose. “Maybe that would have worked. I’m not so certain. What I do know is that I am sorry for turning my back on you. It was simply the only thing I could think to do at the time.”
Buffy asked, “So, what now?” finally locking eyes with her former Watcher.
“You and I should take more time when this is all over and see if we can work through our differences.” He smiled softy and blushed. “Buffy, as much as I’ve never said it, you might as well be my daughter. I can’t begin to describe what happened when you died. Just know that it was probably the worst three months of my life.”
Buffy nodded and shrugged. “Funny that.”
“What?” Giles cocked his head to the side in question.
“Just, I’ve never given you the opportunity to be human. You were always ‘Super Giles.’ And well, it turns out that you’re human. I don’t like it.” A small smile tugged at her lips as she asked, “Do you remember when I asked you to lie to me? Can we keep that up for a little while?”
“Do you think that’s best?” he asked, laughing softly.
Buffy’s eyebrows scrunched and she whined, “No, but can’t I just pretend for a little while? Then when all of this is settled we can…I dunno-put on some padding, some more than others, and work it out like a slayer and her watcher should?”
“And how do you propose we do that?” he asked even though he knew the answer to the question.
Buffy grinned wide. “Training, Giles…you do remember training? The funny suit, me beating you up…”
A warm smile settled over his features as he said, “We’ll see.”
“It’s all I ask.” Buffy made to leave and was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.
“Buffy, I know that-well, that is to say…”
Turning to face him once again, she joked, “And the emotionally constipated Brit says-?”
“I love you, Buffy. I never say it and I think that now would be a good time. I’m very proud of what you’ve become.”
She hugged Giles and, when she felt him stiffen, laughed a little more. Releasing him, she tugged on his shirt sleeve and said, “Come on.” Buffy walked out into the living room.
To her surprise, Dawn, Kennedy, and Willow were there. Walking over to Willow, she wrapped her witch in a loose hug and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. “Wasn’t I supposed to pick you up?”
Willow nodded and explained, “I wanted to come and pick up a few things and ran into Ken and Dawnie downstairs.” Dropping her voice so that only Buffy could hear, she said, “I think you should talk to Dawnie.”
Buffy grudgingly agreed and muttered under her breath, “Great.” Turning down the hall, she motioned for Dawn to follow her. May as well. I hear Creedmore’s nice this time of year.
The rest of the gang all sat around in the living room. Willow fidgeted. Sneaking a glance at Xander, she gave him a half smile.
“Will,” he started.
“Don’t, okay? Just get over here and give me a hug and we’ll call it even.” She opened her arms and waited for him to make his way over.
He nodded and went over to his oldest friend accepting the embrace. They stayed like that for a few moments when they noticed Giles coming out of the restroom. Breaking apart, they grinned at each other and bum rushed their friend.
In unison, they squeezed Giles into a group a hug and said in harmony, “We love you, Giles.”
Giles stiffly returned the sudden hold and grumbled out his agreement, “Yes, yes, I love you both as well. Now may I-?”
When they broke up, Willow teased, “I just love it when he goes all red.”
“It’s like Uncle Mike on Thanksgiving when he’s had too much wine,” agreed Xander.
“Thank you both,” Giles said, straightening out his clothes.
A reassuring ease fell over the household. Time slipped by, they all talked about the latest goings on and the little headway that was not being made.
Willow turned when she heard Jimmy’s voice ring over the intercom. Walking over, she pressed the buzzer and let the detective in.
With a soft knock, he leaned in the door a few minutes later and said, “Heya, Red, the rest of you guys. Where’s Cupcake?”
“In with her sister. Come sit.” Willow motioned Jimmy inside and made room for him on the couch.
“Cool. So, Willow, did you find anything today?” the man asked as he sat down.
“No, it was a big fat waste of time,” she grumped.
“What about you guys here?” Jimmy asked, looking around at his partner’s family.
“Heh,” Faith replied through a laugh, “I think we’re barking up the wrong tree.”
“I was tellin’ Buffy the same thing earlier today,” Jimmy said.
“Yeah, well, good luck trying to convince her,” snarked the pregnant slayer.
Buffy asked, “Convince who?” as she appeared around the corner.
Willow glanced over and answered, “You.”
“Why? Do I need convincing?”
“Usually,” Xander and Willow chimed in together.
“Hmm…so it’s…” Buffy looked at the clock above the TV “…four-forty and I think we were talking dinner before I left you this afternoon.”
“We were,” confirmed her partner.
“Did you call your kids?” Buffy asked.
“I did. Susie called me before I came in. She and James will be at the house at around five-thirty. So, I was thinkin’ we get a coupla cabs and have everyone over. Sound good to you?”
“Fine with me. Everyone want to go have dinner at Jimmy’s?” Buffy smiled as nods and murmurs of approval were given all around.
Ch. 10 - Tear It Down
Willow shut the book she was reading with a thump. Deeply bored and a little frustrated, she rubbed her eyes and stretched. Three days down the tubes. Three whole days since things went all flooey with the others and nothing.
Sorting through the morgue paperwork one more time, she went through her list: three different causes of death, no ritual markings… The only reason this is even a ‘Scooby’ thing is because of the IDs they’ve been finding on the bodies.
What the frilly heck am I doing? I’m not… This is more cop stuff. ’Kay, so, cop stuff…think like a cop, maybe? But I’m not a cop, I’m a Wiccan! Neatly stacking the papers, she returned them to the manila envelope.
Glancing around the empty library, she came to a decision and picked up her phone. After keying in a text message for Dawn, she waited patiently, hoping they could get past the past.
A few messages were exchanged, but otherwise, thirty minutes went by relatively uneventfully and she found herself sitting with Dawn and Kennedy. After settling in, they went over what she had found and set to work. Maybe fresh eyes will help? Really, I’m just glad they’re here and things are a little less intense.
Dawn grabbed the book and lost herself in the text while Kennedy cleaned her fingernails, looking supremely bored. Willow gave Kennedy a smile and went back to her own research. An hour later, Dawn was mumbling and shaking her head.
“Willow,” she whispered, “this isn’t a current prophecy. From what I can make out, this has to do with the spell you guys invoked to defeat Adam. Something about the after effects of the spell. I think maybe you guys weren’t supposed to be alive after that wore off.”
“Uh?” the witch gasped, looking up from a book.
“See, here,” Dawn directed, pointing to the specific references to Buffy, Giles, Xander, and Willow. Tracing further down the text, she remarked, “You guys were supposed to be killed by the first slayer.”
Willow blew her bangs out of her eyes and huffed, “Great! I wonder how many prophecies there are that say we should all be dead.” After dismissing the other two with a gesture, she rubbed her temples. Focusing on the book in front of her, she mumbled, “Okay, well then, I guess that’s something. Thanks, Dawnie.”
Rising to her feet, Dawn placed a hand on the witch’s shoulder and asked, “You sure you don’t want us to stay and help?” When Willow shook her head, Dawn patted her shoulder and stepped over to join Kennedy.
Willow stared blankly at the book and admitted, “There’s nothing here. I’ve been here for nearly three days and the little bit I did find you just clarified.” Looking up at the two girls, she quietly asked, “So, how are things at the apartment?”
“Okay, I guess. Xander’s been moping around like someone killed his puppy and Faith’s had him sleeping on the couch for the past two nights,” Dawn answered in a bland voice.
Willow prompted, “And you?” meeting Dawn’s gaze.
Dawn shrugged and looked down at the table before replying, “Okay, I guess. It’s not like Buffy’s never run away before. It’s just she usually doesn’t take you with her.”
Anger flared. Struggling to stifle it, Willow protested, “Dawnie, that’s not fair.” The effort just made her voice sound strained. Dammit! Less than twenty words about something non-researchy and we jump right back to tense.
“Why isn’t it?” Dawn replied defiantly. Leveling her gaze on Willow, she fumed, “I mean, we both lost Mom, but she didn’t have to deal. She was dead.” As it occurred to her that this wasn’t the most rational argument in human history, she finished lamely, “It’s like I’m the biggest afterthought in her life.”
Willow retorted vehemently, “That’s not true! Buffy loves you. Most of the stuff she’s done was for you.”
“That’s easy for you to say. She’s always had you wrapped around her little finger,” Dawn grumbled. After pausing momentarily to consider her words, she amended, “Well, when you weren’t trying to kill each other.”
Seeing that this was going nowhere, Willow responded dully, “You two seriously need to talk.” What was it Einstein said about insanity? Something like it’s ‘doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. This is totally pointless.
Kennedy had heard enough. Fed up, she spat, “Willow, why? Why do you always defend her? Even when she’s wrong, you back her up. She’s neglected Dawn for as long as I’ve been around and, if the past two-and-a-half years have been any indication, Dawn’s got every right to be upset.”
“Kennedy, stay out of this,” Willow warned.
Calming down, Dawn sent pleading eyes to the slayer in order to avoid a total blow out.
Kennedy heeded the warning her girlfriend sent her and backed down.
Dawn cleared her throat to soften her tone and reflected, “Willow, the point is you’ve never been the most unbiased person to talk to about Buffy. It’s okay, I appreciate that you care, but I’ll work it out with her, okay?”
With a curt nod Willow replied, “Fine, but promise it’ll be soon.” Isn’t that what I just said? She sighed. ’Kay…whatever.
Motioning for Kennedy to follow, Dawn offered an arid, “Maybe.” Willow nodded and watched them disappear around a stack of books.
As Buffy rounded her desk, returning the restroom, she chirped, “Hey, old man.” Taking a seat across from her partner before she enquired, “What’s got you in a huff?” The lab’s sure been taking their sweet time with the trace evidence. You’d think Nekko’d get the concept ‘rush order.’ It’s not like it’s hard. Simpled up: we need it before beers with the boys, not after.
Jimmy glanced up from the computer and mumbled, “Nothin’. Just got off the phone with vic three’s family. Let’s just say that that was a conversation I choose never to have again. You got anything?”
“Nope, no, great epiphanies between the restroom and here,” Buffy snarked, appearing momentarily amused. After a brief pause, she snapped serious and reported in a business-like manner, “Footwork’s been a total waste. Nothing’s coming back from any of the families.”
Waving her in closer, he remarked, “I don’t want to start shouting ‘witch’ or nothin’, but I kinda am. I mean since these girls obviously have something to do with you and your family. And since your family is, uh…special. What’s to say that whoever’s doin’ this isn’t, uh…a witch?”
“We’re looking at that.”
Sensing that there was more, Jimmy prompted, “But?”
Buffy quickly filled in, “But there aren’t any markings on the bodies, Jim. There’s no ritualistic feel to these killings. Besides, I just don’t get the spidey tingles when I go to a scene.”
His eyebrows knit as he listened. He smirked and asked in amusement, “Spidey tingles?”
“Slayer thing,” Buffy offered. Smiling as she taunted, “Don’t any of you old guys know a good pop culture reference when you hear one?” Buffy rolled her eyes and continued, “It just seems like these girls are here to get my attention. Besides, Willow would’ve told us if there was magick involved. She’s way better at picking that up than me.”
Jimmy stretched back in his chair and chewed his bottom lip pensively. A few moments passed before he prompted, “Right, okay, so, brainstorm time. Top to bottom, what do we know?” He put his hand to his chin, scuffing the stubble as he listed the facts, “We both agree that the kill-site is different. These alleys are only dump-sites. Each C.O.D. is different. Murillo had her C.A.D.L.; Poulsen had hers, yours, and Red’s; Eaton had hers, Xander’s, and Faith’s.”
Leaning forward, he planted his feet, made eye contacted and asked, “What does that tell us?”
“It tells us that, as of right now, our unsub wants at least Will, Xander, Faith, and I to know that they know,” Buffy replied, smiling wryly before adding, “‘Know what’s the real question, but it’s drawing us in.”
The lights came on and Jimmy responded, “Which means this was planned. Also means our unsub had to have contact with our girls to get them to come to the city.”
“And survey says? Phone records, which we have,” Buffy filled in, appearing amused.
“Then we start there. We go back to the basics and wait on Nekko to get back to us with the lab work. I still don’t wanna discount the…other stuff. I’m not eliminating anything at this point.” A little of the tension eased and Jimmy’s expression warmed for the first time all day.
She leaned on the corner of his desk and sighed. What Jimmy said makes some sorta sense, but there’s something really not right and it’s making me crazy. It’s like I can’t quite put my finger on it. Backing up…
She cleared her throat to get Jimmy’s attention and prodded, “’Kay, so…let’s say these killings are part of some ritual.” Putting her hand out to silence her partner, she continued without pause, “Now, before you go all ‘I told you so’ on me. I’m just playing the devil’s advocate. Why? What type of ritual and why bring me in on it? In case you missed it when I told you about my first profession, I’m the one person you don’t want cranky. Especially if you’re of the not-human persuasion. It kinda gives me the green light to slice and dice.”
“Who’s to say they’re not human? From what I’ve seen, Red’s pretty damn human and she’s...”
Cutting in, Buffy interjected, “Yeah, but Will, she’s-” shuffling her feet uncomfortably “-she’s more than.” Well, that was less than sensational.
Jimmy’s lips tightened and he asked, “What the fuck does that mean, Cupcake?”
“It’s kinda a long story,” Buffy replied with a shrug.
Jimmy looked at his watch and said, “’S alright, it’s lunch anyhow and I got time. My treat, let’s go.”
Buffy huffed and followed her partner out of the building. It’s gonna be a long afternoon.
The restaurant’s other patrons chattered noisily as Buffy placed her fork on her plate and allowed the waitress to clear some of the dishes. She sat quietly, giving Jimmy time to consider what she’d just shared.
Once their server had left, Buffy concluded, “So see, Will isn’t not-human, but she’s like human-plus. Kinda like me.” Gotta give him credit, at least he’s still conscious. Careful to keep her tone even, she remarked, “Jimmy, I know it’s kinda a lot to take in, but it’s really no different than what I am. She’s just more in tune with nature.” Yeah, that’ll keep him from hitting the roof…or the floor. It sounded lame even to me.
“So let me try this on for size.” Adjusting his seat, Jimmy fiddled with the napkin and continued, “Red got into magics to help you out with your duty or whatever. She brought you back from the dead, which spiraled into some type of addiction. Then her lover got shot and she tried to end the world after flaying her lover’s killer alive?”
“Ah, yeah, that’s pretty much it in a nutshell. But when you say it like that it makes it sound all…all weird.” She smiled sheepishly and waited for him to finish up.
He clarified, “So, since she went off the mojo wagon she’s been like super witch.” Stopping to take a sip of his coffee before he asked, “How’m I doin’ so far?”
Buffy nodded her head, without breaking eye contact and replied, “I mean she did do that spell that created a whole bunch of slayers, but she’s doing the ‘normal person’ thing now.”
Jimmy flashed a wry grin and remarked in a gruff tone, “Cupcake-” he folded his arms across his chest “-she ain’t normal and neither are you.”
Buffy rolled her eyes and tried to explain, “I…we know that, but we’re shooting for some sorta normal. We want to be Clark Kent.” When Jimmy quirked an eyebrow, she quickly filled in, “But without the boy part.”
Sighing, she tried again, “We need some ‘Joan Average’ downtime. I did mention that we invented the plural of apocalypse? I wanted a break, or really a retirement from that. There are others to do that duty.”
Keeping his tone moderate, he replied, “Yeah, but, I mean, okay, I accepted the ‘slayer.’ That part wasn’t-” He paused thoughtfully, obviously struggling with the details. Finally, he managed, “But this-you have seen her right? Petite, red hair, about five-six, cute with an impish grin. I don’t think she could harm a kitty let alone do what you’re tellin’ me she did.”
Lifting her napkin from her lap, Buffy started picking at it as she decided how to answer. “I know it’s…” she began and broke off. Switching her approach, she opted for the simple, remarking firmly, “Just trust me on this ’kay?”
He rubbed at his chin and nodded in agreement. The waitress came by and dropped the check off. He took a look at the amount and fished for his wallet. After dropping some money on the table, he rubbed the back of his neck and sputtered, “Uh, Cupcake….er, I don’t mean to be nosy or nothin’, but, eh…have you talked to anyone else besides Faith?”
Buffy flinched at the question and quietly replied, “No, I’m not ready to deal with them yet.”
“Look, kid, I...take it from someone who knows. Don’t let shit sit between you and your family. You need to have a sit down with them. Why don’t you knock off and go back to your apartment. I’ll cover for ya and pick you up at four or five?” He grinned hoping to win her over with charm.
Shaking her head, Buffy declined, “Jimmy, thanks, but it’s not the right time.”
“The right time’s gonna be when? When you’re dead, er, ah, again…or when they are? We don’t know what this unsub’s intentions are. With you doin’ what you used to do, how can you not see that time is-what they say-of the essence?” Jimmy laid a meaty hand over her two smaller ones and implored, “If all y’inz guys get through this and you just let it sit, no good’ll come of it.”
“You sound like you’re speaking from personal experience. You want to share?” Buffy nudged gently. Removing her upper hand from the pile, she patted his arm in a reassuring gesture before sitting back to wait.
Jimmy looked down and stared at his coffee as he mumbled, “No, but I know I got some talkin’ to do of my own.”
“No fair old man. Spill. You know mine. What’s the what?” Expecting a response, she looked at him with an expression she usually saved for people she interrogated. I get the not-sharey, but I know now, it would’ve been a mistake. At least when this is all over, I’ll have a friend.
Jimmy fidgeted under the intense gaze of the small blonde sitting across from him. Sipping at the cold, bitter coffee, he sat up, then cleared his throat before speaking. “I got two kids from my first marriage. One, Susan, she’s gonna be twenty-eight next month, and a boy, Jimmy Junior. He’s twenty-four. Good kids, both of them. Never really had a lick of trouble from either of them…” he trailed off to collect his thoughts.
“Jim-James, he likes to be called James-he was always, uh…different,” he stammered. Quickly covering his insecurity with by offering, “Now mind you, that ain’t a bad thing. It’s just what is.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully and explained, “Well, James, he, uh, came out to me.”
He shifted his frame in the chair uncomfortably. Anxiety clearly reflected on his features as he remarked, “I’m gonna say this and let me tell you that I ain’t proud. I think that what I said to my kid’s prob’ly the biggest regret I got. Ya know? I mean, ya’ ever say somethin’ and wish that you could take it back?”
Buffy nodded. Uh, yeah, boy, do I…know that is.
“The damage, it’s done and even when you know you’re wrong you can’t seem to find the words to make it right. He just…I don’t wanna use it as an excuse.” He raised his hands palms up and tried to clarify, “It’s just he didn’t understand, kids like that got the snot beat of ’em. They didn’t last long in my neighborhood. And ’sides the fact that, you grow up Irish Catholic, you get a one way ticket to Hell for bein’ that way.” He shrugged, losing some of his steam. Finishing up quietly, he admitted, “Since I, uh, kicked him out, Susie or Jim won’t talk to me. They have once or twice, but it didn’t go so well.”
Buffy was floored. Grappling with understanding, she redirected, “So, why the freak out with Nate?”
“That…between James and, well,” he tried, clenching his jaw he struggled for the right words. The gravity of his situation weighed heavily on him. Taking time, He chose his words very carefully. “I guess it was when I saw you and Willow together, it just kinda changed.”
“Huh?” Buffy leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table.
Jimmy sat forward and met his partner’s gaze. “When I walked in on you two at the coffee shop, you wanna know my first reaction?”
“Sure,” she answered cautiously.
He confessed, “I wanted to wring Willow’s neck for the tears I saw. It wasn’t ‘Buffy’s gay.’ It wasn’t disgust. It was just anger ’cause you looked upset.” Maintaining eye contact, he spoke his mind, “After I left, I started thinkin’ and, since I was Mr. Desk Jockey the rest of the day, it worked out. Then at dinner it clicked more. Like really clicked. What I got from you two is that it don’t matter.”
He leaned back in his chair and waved a hand at the woman across from him. When Buffy perked up, he continued, “The thing that stuck, Cupcake, it don’t matter the parts you have. And here’s my sensitivity training coming out.” A wry smile graced his features and he winked, erasing the sour expression on Buffy’s face. “It’s pretty fuckin’ silly to be prejudiced against someone ’cause they’re in love. You’re happy, Cupcake. I’ve seen more life outta you since Red’s been here than the past year and a half we’ve worked together. That’s a solid in my book.”
He took another sip of his stale coffee and made a face before remarking, “Nate? That was more a cop thing.” Seeing the raised eyebrow of his partner, he conceded, “Okay, so it was also me being over-protective. The ‘cop thing’ is true too. You and I both know there are rules when you’re a cop. We watch the six of everyone that carries a shield.” He jammed his finger at the air punctuating his statement and said, “He stepped over that line. Some cops, they don’t stick to the rules. They don’t last long. The ones that do, do well.”
Buffy let the silence stretch absorbing the information. She watched the nervous sweat bead on his brow and the way he pawed at his tie. ’Kay, so…I don’t know what’s more shocking: Jimmy has kids, or his Pat Robertson-like reaction to his gay son?
“So,” he said, wiping his sweaty palms on his slacks. “When I tell you that you should talk to your family, I’m serious. It ain’t no fun not havin’ ’em with you.”
“Jimmy.” Buffy reached across the table and grabbed his hand. “Thank you.” She looked at him and stood to give him a hug.
Uncomfortable as he was he let the girl embrace him. “Now, Cupcake, what would your girl say if she saw you in the arms of another?”
“Depends.” Buffy let go and eyed the older man. “She either might ask to join, or try to kill you.” Buffy winked and laughed when Jimmy blanched.
“Ya know, that ain’t very nice. If what you say is true about Red, then, uh, she’s kinda scary.” He placed a hand at the small of her back and led them outside.
“Just don’t make her cranky,” Buffy chirped, making her way out the door.
“Check, no cranky redhead.” Following the blonde outside, he pressed, “So you gonna go talk to your family or not?”
Buffy looked up at him and whined, “Any way I can get out of it?”
“No,” said the detective as he lit a cigarette.
“Then, yeah,” Buffy huffed and glanced at her watch. “I’ll see you at the apartment at five?”
“Will do.”
Buffy fidgeted as she suggested, “Jimmy, call your kids. If-if we can help…maybe you should call them tonight? Invite them over for dinner. I’d like to help.” Yeah…this is bright. You know no good ever comes of meddling, yet here you are meddling away. There’s probably an award for this sort of monumental stupidity.
He looked down at the blonde and shook his head. “I don’t think that’s such a hot idea, Cupcake.”
“You don’t know that. Just…just do me this favor and invite them over tonight for dinner. We can make it a family reunion type thing.” She looked at him and gave a small pout. The sad thing, I’d like to think I’m helping. Yeah…insane doses of optimism always end well for me.
“Quit lookin’ at me like that.” He flicked the butt of the cigarette out into traffic and sighed. “Fine, I’ll call. I’ll ask, but don’t be expectin’ anything.”
Helping…or at least, it can’t hurt to try. Still telling myself that, dammit! It’ll go well. Something has to. Buffy beamed at his concession and said, “I’m gonna walk. Not far from the house, ’kay? I’ll see you in a bit.” Now for the firing squad…
She turned right on Madison and continued north. Once she was safely out of view, her pace slowed to just over listless. How can I expect to help Jimmy with his, when I’m clueless what to do with my own? There’s just so much…
Sure, I can get some of the anger, but what do they expect? What do they want from me? I can’t be everything to them and I can’t continue to lie to them just to make things less tense. What do I want from them? I want…I want them to leave me be. I want to go to work like a normal person, share my life with the person I love and die in bed surrounded by fat grandchildren.
Okay, so maybe not grandkids, ’cause that would mean that I would have to have kids and well, that thought makes my tummy do flips. So, no grandkids, maybe some nieces or nephews and Willow in bed with me. We could die together. It’ll be romantic.
Back on track…
I have no idea what to say to them.
Jimmy watched his partner disappear around the corner. Kid’s gotta point. Though, the last time I tried to talk to Susie or James, I got hung up on once and then yelled at for calling. Susie-Q’s quite the firecracker-too much like her mom.
Removing his cell phone, he called P.S. one-seventy-three and waited for the receptionist to patch his call though. Waiting, he gazed up at the cloudy sky.
A few clicks on the line, brought his daughter’s questioning voice through to his ear. “This is Susan.”
“Hey, Susie. It’s, uh, your dad.” Jimmy walked over and rested his back against the front of the restaurant wall.
“What do you want?”
Jimmy tensed at his daughter’s tone. “I-look, Susie-Q, just, uh, I was calling to ask if you and Jim…James had any plans for dinner?” He rested his head against the cool brick, waiting on a response, or for the line to go dead.
“And you care because? Last time I checked, we weren’t talking,” the woman on the other phone snipped.
Jimmy flinched at the acidic tone and pleaded, “Susan, please, don’t, I just want to invite you two to dinner. My partner’s family is in town and they were going to come over for dinner. I wanted to…we need to talk.”
The phone clicked on her earring when Susan shifted it to her other shoulder. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
Leaning away from the wall, Jimmy started to pace as he spoke, “Don’t bust my balls here, Susie-Q. How about you ask James? If he says okay, then will you two come over between six-thirty and sevenish? ”
“I’ll ask,” she replied and hung up the phone.
After snapping his cell closed, Jimmy reached for his cigarettes and lit another one up. Well, that went better than I thought. Now, what the hell am I gonna do for the next two hours? Right, phone logs…maybe I can get some lackeys to do the grunt work.
Buffy eased the door open and cringed when the three occupants looked up at her. Faith was sitting on the couch. Xander and Giles were over by the kitchen reading from a stack of books. Straightening up, she walked in and sat down at the table.
“So did you guys, ah, find anything?” Buffy asked lamely.
Xander looked away, but Giles closed the book he was reading and said, “Hello, Buffy. No, it would appear we are coming up empty handed. What about you?”
“Will was working on some stuff at the library, but I won’t know until later. Jimmy and I are waiting on some lab reports. I should know more tomorrow, hopefully.” Buffy pushed back from the table and stood. “Uh, Xander? Can I see you alone for a few?” Buffy asked looking up at the man.
“Yeah, sure.” Xander stood and offered, “Office?”
Buffy nodded and followed Xander to the room. She shut the door and smiled as he shifted nervously. He looks like I feel. Fighting just sucks.
“I...” Buffy started then stopped. Raking her fingers through her hair, she collected her thoughts and tried again, “Okay, so, you and I, we have this habit of getting really pissed at each other and getting over it. I know it’s patched things up in the past. This-” she waved a finger between them “-that’s not the way this is going to go. So, let me start by saying, I’m sorry for saying the things I said about Faith and you. It was out of line and I really didn’t mean it.”
“Buff, stop okay.” He put a hand up. Leaning against the desk, he admitted, “It was just badness all around. Faith and I have done a lot of talking over the past few days. She said some things that maybe I didn’t want to hear, but probably needed to. I was a big dummy. In fact, I’m wagering, I was the biggest-to coin a phrase-poophead on the planet. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Xander, I didn’t help.” Buffy slumped against the window, kicking her foot against the carpet.
“But it’s not like you hurt, either,” he replied frankly. Scrubbing his fingers over his cheek, he remarked, “Look, there are all these things we never discussed…stuff we should’ve. Like me losing an eye and us kicking you out of the house for starters.”
A melancholy grin flickered over his features as he commented wryly, “And we can’t forget the bestest year ever-the year we brought you back.”
He pushed off the desk and stood in front of her. Gently he took her shoulders in his hands, forcing her to meet his eyes. Earnestly, he pressed, “Let me start by saying my eye…I’m over it. We all thought we did what we needed to do and, despite my being ‘Mr. Bitter Man’ over losing that nice thing called depth perception, I’d do it all over again. I trusted you then, Buffy, and I trust you now. That won’t change. It wasn’t your fault.”
Breaking away from him she turned to look out the window, softly admitting, “It was.”
“No, it wasn’t.” Turning Buffy around, he pointed at his glass eye adamantly saying, “This was Caleb’s doing and, well, he got his. So, no hard feelings. Second, let me say that kicking you out of the house wasn’t what was supposed to happen that night. I don’t know if there are cards big enough to say how wrong it went.”
Shrugging, she responded, “I think…looking back, I can see how it got out of control.” Her attention turned to a patch of wall behind him. She leaned into his touch and mumbled, “I think I know why you guys did it. Maybe it’s what needed to be done. I honestly don’t know.” Meeting his gaze, she asked, “So, if we are both over it, then why were we fighting?”
“Because I’m a jerk and you’re the poster child for the avoidy when it comes to big emotional talks?” Xander replied with a crooked, playful smile.
She returned the smile before joking, “I used to be the poster child for that, but Will won’t let me anymore. Something about it being unhealthy and world-endy.”
Releasing her, he leaned back against the desk and replied, “She’s right.” He paused to wink before adding, “Of course, we both know she was always the brains of the operation.” Moving his arms up and down in a gesture of mock supplication, he kidded, “We bow to the brains of the group.”
Sobering, he ran his hand through his hair. “Umm, Buff, I just want to say what I said about Willow and you that uh, was ugly, like Troma film ugly, and I’m sorry. I’m glad you guys are giving it a chance. I kinda always thought that she would be the best for you, next to me…”
“Xander,” Buffy interrupted, taking a step back to put some distance between them.
His demeanor turned rigid. He folded his arms across his chest and rebuffed, “No, Buff, that was just…I don’t know what I was thinking. Words were coming out and even as I said them I couldn’t believe it and I couldn’t stop it.” Relaxing, he teased, “Do me a favor and don’t tell Willow all of it though, ’cause I kinda like my skin. It’s grown on me the past twenty or so years.” He gave her a sheepish grin before asking, “What now?”
Placing a hand on her hip, she replied, “Honestly, I don’t know.”
“For starters, let’s do this right. Clean slate, you and me, right now,” he responded forthrightly. Righting himself, he hung his head and rocked on his heels. A lighthearted smirk infected his features when he teased, “You wouldn’t happen to have a bag full of stuff and a little wooden stake that I could return to you would you?”
Shaking her head, she replied, “Nope, but I’m good with hugs too.”
“Hugs are good.” He grinned broadly as he cautiously shuffled forward. “Better when they’re given by your unnaturally strong best friend who’s being very reasonable and forgiving.”
“Come here, you ass.” Buffy opened up her arms and embraced her best friend.
Xander asked, “Buff-” still holding on to the blonde “-not to, ah, open up more worms, but why did you move here?”
Buffy released the breath she’d been holding and replied, “Guilt. After it all went down, I felt so bad about everything. Getting away was the only thing I could think of.”
“Uh, wow, honesty…but, why ‘guilt’?” He pulled her back and looked her in the eye to gauge her reaction.
She replied bluntly, “Uh, say hello to your eye.” The pained look the slayer wore deepened when she continued, “Then say hello to Willow’s bender, then Faith and Dawn. God, Dawn…if she ever decided to go to therapy, it’d break the Council’s bank. Finally-just ’cause more misery’s fun and constructive-toss Giles in there too.”
Xander gave her a look that said ‘don’t be stupid, it wasn’t your fault.’
She shrugged and muttered ruefully, “Yeah, yeah, I know.” Hanging her head, she admitted, “Need to talk to the watcher man.” Her lips pursed. “So, running away…” breathing out, she spoke through the sigh “…probably not the best option, but it was the only thing I could think of.”
“So, we are okay?” he asked.
“We’ll get there. I love you, Xander.” She wrapped him in another hug and asked, “Would you go get the tweed-clad, British guy from the kitchen table?”
“I’ll send him in. Oh, and I love you too, Buff.” He kissed the top of her head and let her go.
As Xander left to fetch Giles, Buffy turned to the window.
“Buffy?” Giles queried from the door.
She replied, “Come on in, Giles.” Turning from her cloud watching, she rested her back against the glass.
“Xander said that you wanted to see me?” He gently shut the door and walked farther into the room, stopping when he reached the desk.
“Yeah, we need to talk. I know I was never one for the talks, but I don’t want to put this off any longer,” she reflected dryly.
“I see,” Giles said, standing stiffly by the office chair.
Buffy felt an unwanted smile tug at her lips as she took in the discomfort this was causing the man. “So, I’m going to say, I’m not sorry. I haven’t done anything wrong, but I need you to get that you and I aren’t cool, Giles.”
Buffy pressed herself closer to the glass. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she fought to stave off tears. It was a losing battle. A few spilled over as she reflected, “When my mom died, I expected you, above everyone else, to help me.” After angrily wiping her eyes, she pressed on, “When I came back, you just took off and didn’t tell me why, or give me a chance to fix it.”
Running her tongue over her lips, she tasted salt. Her hands went to her face. She swiped at the tears that were still falling. Flinging her arm out, she spat, “You just flew to jolly old and expected me to just be okay with everything. Didn’t you see?” She shook her head and continued, “God, I mean-then you go behind my back and try to kill the only person who seemed to give a damn about was going on with me.”
“Buffy…I-” Giles tried, but was stopped by an upheld hand.
“No, I’m not done.” Her arms folded across her chest as her shoulders slumped. “So, right, I’ve got this pent up hostility toward you. I’m sure if we had time to sort through it and attend some touchy, feely therapy sessions that we could probably get through it. But like usual, right now, we don’t.” Meeting his soft gaze, she said, “So just save it, okay? You don’t have to apologize. When this is said and done, you can go back to England and do whatever it is that you do.”
A flash of pain sullied his features. “If that’s what you want,” he conceded.
“It’s what it is.” Buffy pushed away from the window pane and made her way to the door.
“Buffy, wait?” Giles asked quietly, still rooted to his spot.
She turned to look.
He offered, “You may not want to hear this, but it needs to be said,” his voice soft, yet firm. “I am sorry. The way that I behaved, the things I did, you may not have understood, but I felt I had to do them. You relied on me far too much. You needed to stand on your own.” His brow furrowed as he stammered, “I-I am sorry for leaving, but I didn’t know what else to do. I felt I was holding you back.”
Buffy shook her head and quietly confessed, “You were the only thing holding me together.”
“You may think that, but that’s not what I believed at the time.” He inched his way over to her and tilted her head up. “You, all of you, were looking to me for answers I couldn’t provide. What was I to do?”
“I don’t know.” Buffy looked away and suggested, “Open up that usually wordy mouth of yours and say something?”
Giles’ finger dropped from under her chin and he removed his glasses pinching the bridge of his nose. “Maybe that would have worked. I’m not so certain. What I do know is that I am sorry for turning my back on you. It was simply the only thing I could think to do at the time.”
Buffy asked, “So, what now?” finally locking eyes with her former Watcher.
“You and I should take more time when this is all over and see if we can work through our differences.” He smiled softy and blushed. “Buffy, as much as I’ve never said it, you might as well be my daughter. I can’t begin to describe what happened when you died. Just know that it was probably the worst three months of my life.”
Buffy nodded and shrugged. “Funny that.”
“What?” Giles cocked his head to the side in question.
“Just, I’ve never given you the opportunity to be human. You were always ‘Super Giles.’ And well, it turns out that you’re human. I don’t like it.” A small smile tugged at her lips as she asked, “Do you remember when I asked you to lie to me? Can we keep that up for a little while?”
“Do you think that’s best?” he asked, laughing softly.
Buffy’s eyebrows scrunched and she whined, “No, but can’t I just pretend for a little while? Then when all of this is settled we can…I dunno-put on some padding, some more than others, and work it out like a slayer and her watcher should?”
“And how do you propose we do that?” he asked even though he knew the answer to the question.
Buffy grinned wide. “Training, Giles…you do remember training? The funny suit, me beating you up…”
A warm smile settled over his features as he said, “We’ll see.”
“It’s all I ask.” Buffy made to leave and was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.
“Buffy, I know that-well, that is to say…”
Turning to face him once again, she joked, “And the emotionally constipated Brit says-?”
“I love you, Buffy. I never say it and I think that now would be a good time. I’m very proud of what you’ve become.”
She hugged Giles and, when she felt him stiffen, laughed a little more. Releasing him, she tugged on his shirt sleeve and said, “Come on.” Buffy walked out into the living room.
To her surprise, Dawn, Kennedy, and Willow were there. Walking over to Willow, she wrapped her witch in a loose hug and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. “Wasn’t I supposed to pick you up?”
Willow nodded and explained, “I wanted to come and pick up a few things and ran into Ken and Dawnie downstairs.” Dropping her voice so that only Buffy could hear, she said, “I think you should talk to Dawnie.”
Buffy grudgingly agreed and muttered under her breath, “Great.” Turning down the hall, she motioned for Dawn to follow her. May as well. I hear Creedmore’s nice this time of year.
The rest of the gang all sat around in the living room. Willow fidgeted. Sneaking a glance at Xander, she gave him a half smile.
“Will,” he started.
“Don’t, okay? Just get over here and give me a hug and we’ll call it even.” She opened her arms and waited for him to make his way over.
He nodded and went over to his oldest friend accepting the embrace. They stayed like that for a few moments when they noticed Giles coming out of the restroom. Breaking apart, they grinned at each other and bum rushed their friend.
In unison, they squeezed Giles into a group a hug and said in harmony, “We love you, Giles.”
Giles stiffly returned the sudden hold and grumbled out his agreement, “Yes, yes, I love you both as well. Now may I-?”
When they broke up, Willow teased, “I just love it when he goes all red.”
“It’s like Uncle Mike on Thanksgiving when he’s had too much wine,” agreed Xander.
“Thank you both,” Giles said, straightening out his clothes.
A reassuring ease fell over the household. Time slipped by, they all talked about the latest goings on and the little headway that was not being made.
Willow turned when she heard Jimmy’s voice ring over the intercom. Walking over, she pressed the buzzer and let the detective in.
With a soft knock, he leaned in the door a few minutes later and said, “Heya, Red, the rest of you guys. Where’s Cupcake?”
“In with her sister. Come sit.” Willow motioned Jimmy inside and made room for him on the couch.
“Cool. So, Willow, did you find anything today?” the man asked as he sat down.
“No, it was a big fat waste of time,” she grumped.
“What about you guys here?” Jimmy asked, looking around at his partner’s family.
“Heh,” Faith replied through a laugh, “I think we’re barking up the wrong tree.”
“I was tellin’ Buffy the same thing earlier today,” Jimmy said.
“Yeah, well, good luck trying to convince her,” snarked the pregnant slayer.
Buffy asked, “Convince who?” as she appeared around the corner.
Willow glanced over and answered, “You.”
“Why? Do I need convincing?”
“Usually,” Xander and Willow chimed in together.
“Hmm…so it’s…” Buffy looked at the clock above the TV “…four-forty and I think we were talking dinner before I left you this afternoon.”
“We were,” confirmed her partner.
“Did you call your kids?” Buffy asked.
“I did. Susie called me before I came in. She and James will be at the house at around five-thirty. So, I was thinkin’ we get a coupla cabs and have everyone over. Sound good to you?”
“Fine with me. Everyone want to go have dinner at Jimmy’s?” Buffy smiled as nods and murmurs of approval were given all around.