(no subject)
It's been more than a month since I last wrote in this thing...seems like a lot longer than that though.
graduation.
i guess that would be the major thing to talk about ;) the last couple weeks of the semester were this huge whirlwhind. i was running around like a crazy person trying to finish everything up. the library was the last place i wanted to be spending my last few days at alma but i really had no other choice. finally, thursday night of exam week rolled around and i could FINALLY FINALLY let loose and just enjoy myself. i spent the whole weekend just trying to soak it all in and relish every second. even then though, it wasn't really sinking in that this was IT. there are no more 'next-years' and this fall will find me and all of my friends not in the little alma bubble where we spent the past four years but spread out all across the country taking those first tentative baby steps into the real world. i've had more than a month to sit on that feeling and i'm still not sure that it's really hit me that things will never be the same. i know it sounds lame and ridiculous but i think there was a little part of me that just never imagined college ending...that i would always have mandy and kelsee living ten feet away from me, that i would always have mary and becky to say thank you to when i left saga, that i could always walk into a dr. lorenz class and see that huge grin of his. it SUCKS (and yeah there's really no other word for it) because i feel like i've just gotten to the point where i'm completely comfortable in all aspects of my life here at alma. the uncertainty of my freshman and sophomore years was gone, and the struggle to readjust after coming back from scotland was over. but of course, (because that's how life ALWAYS works), i'm not allowed to get TOO comfortable or TOO settled. time to start a new chapter whether i like it or not.
this feels a lot different than when i graduated from high school. i couldn't WAIT to get out of there. we all made this huge deal about how life was changing and it would never be the same and we were all going our separate ways and blah blah blah. but it didn't happen that way really. for the most part, summers brought everyone back to lansing and back together. we all share the same hometown and very few people actually moved away. but now that i've graduated from alma, the one common 'home' we've had to bring is all together is no longer ours. there's nothing to bring us all together in the same place again.
i took a spring term so i haven't actually moved out of alma yet...that'll happen in the next couple of days. it's hard because i really don't know when i'm going to see a lot of these people again. moving to minnesota means that visits home are going to be few and far between and this coming summer is probably the last one i'll spend in michigan.
i know these changes and transitions are survivable (i'm pretty sure a few people have managed ;) ) but that doesn't make it any easier. i'm sure i'll look back and read this in a year or so and laugh at how analytical and apprehensive i'm being, but for the time-being, it's how i'm feeling, so there ya go....
graduation.
i guess that would be the major thing to talk about ;) the last couple weeks of the semester were this huge whirlwhind. i was running around like a crazy person trying to finish everything up. the library was the last place i wanted to be spending my last few days at alma but i really had no other choice. finally, thursday night of exam week rolled around and i could FINALLY FINALLY let loose and just enjoy myself. i spent the whole weekend just trying to soak it all in and relish every second. even then though, it wasn't really sinking in that this was IT. there are no more 'next-years' and this fall will find me and all of my friends not in the little alma bubble where we spent the past four years but spread out all across the country taking those first tentative baby steps into the real world. i've had more than a month to sit on that feeling and i'm still not sure that it's really hit me that things will never be the same. i know it sounds lame and ridiculous but i think there was a little part of me that just never imagined college ending...that i would always have mandy and kelsee living ten feet away from me, that i would always have mary and becky to say thank you to when i left saga, that i could always walk into a dr. lorenz class and see that huge grin of his. it SUCKS (and yeah there's really no other word for it) because i feel like i've just gotten to the point where i'm completely comfortable in all aspects of my life here at alma. the uncertainty of my freshman and sophomore years was gone, and the struggle to readjust after coming back from scotland was over. but of course, (because that's how life ALWAYS works), i'm not allowed to get TOO comfortable or TOO settled. time to start a new chapter whether i like it or not.
this feels a lot different than when i graduated from high school. i couldn't WAIT to get out of there. we all made this huge deal about how life was changing and it would never be the same and we were all going our separate ways and blah blah blah. but it didn't happen that way really. for the most part, summers brought everyone back to lansing and back together. we all share the same hometown and very few people actually moved away. but now that i've graduated from alma, the one common 'home' we've had to bring is all together is no longer ours. there's nothing to bring us all together in the same place again.
i took a spring term so i haven't actually moved out of alma yet...that'll happen in the next couple of days. it's hard because i really don't know when i'm going to see a lot of these people again. moving to minnesota means that visits home are going to be few and far between and this coming summer is probably the last one i'll spend in michigan.
i know these changes and transitions are survivable (i'm pretty sure a few people have managed ;) ) but that doesn't make it any easier. i'm sure i'll look back and read this in a year or so and laugh at how analytical and apprehensive i'm being, but for the time-being, it's how i'm feeling, so there ya go....