(no subject)
i found this while i was researching senior profiles for my pol 201...it's like she read my mind...
Type your cut contents here.Hey, Senior Girls: You Deserve More
I’ll admit it, I’m a Sex and the City addict. I have seen every episode at least once, and I regularly watch the chopped up reruns on TBS and the WB. I even got the entire series box set for Christmas this year, and proceeded to watch seasons 1-4 over break. So I didn’t hesitate a few days ago when I was standing in Barnes and Noble armed with a $20 gift certificate to buy He’s Just Not That Into You, a book that I’d been meaning to read for a couple years. It’s written by two S&TC writers, and the phrase was even featured in an episode where Miranda felt empowered after a guy on the show gave that simple answer to why a guy didn’t call her back.
Now you’re probably asking, what does this have to do with being a senior? Well, I’ll tell you. All year, I’ve been repeating to myself over and over, when I looked around at my friends who were in relationships, that I was a senior and I didn’t have time for one. I was too busy dedicating too much of my time to a newspaper and a computer lab and trying to fit in my friends and occasionally time to actually study that it wouldn’t be fair to a guy who was interested in me to even pretend I had time to be a good girlfriend. So I just kept saying, I’m a senior. I’m a senior. I’m a senior. (And I know I’m not alone in this.)
And then popped up, “I’m most likely going into the Peace Corps. I’ll be gone for two years. I don’t expect a guy to wait for me, wouldn’t want him to, so what’s the point of starting something with an expiration date?”
All these excuses (yes, they are excuses) enabled me to distract myself from the fact that there were no candidates knocking down my door that I was having to turn away.
I remember having a conversation with a female friend of mine a few months ago. One day, when lamenting about the lack of prospects in our lives, she told me that because we were both smart, independent, and knew what we wanted, this scared guys away. While that was an easy pill to swallow, to pass the blame to guys being chicken s- and intimidated by our confidence and seeming lack of a need for a man, I can see now it was just another excuse.
This is where the book comes in. While I was reading it, a recent “endeavor” that I had attempted popped into my mind, and it showed all the warning signs - unavailable, unreliable, doesn’t follow through. At the time, I rationalized that it was okay because I was busy and didn’t want a commitment, that he was busy and when he didn’t come over after texting me from an airplane that he would as soon as he got back to campus, I swallowed the “family emergency” excuse. (Things got complicated after that, and it didn’t end well. But the whole thing made me forget the most important part - I wasn’t that into HIM to begin with!) And I know that this friend was in a similar relationship with a guy who just couldn’t give her what she needed and ended up breaking her heart.
Another friend confessed that she made herself busy in order to not have to face the fact that she was alone. At least she was honest with herself, all the while I was protesting that no, really, I was that busy. I remembered a relationship from a couple of years before when my grades dipped after starting it because I was too busy talking to him to do my homework - I told myself I didn’t want that and couldn’t afford to do that at this point in my life.
Everyone talks about how Boston College is a school where there is no dating culture, so this book might not really apply to our lives. People at BC don’t date, they all say, they just hook up at parties. Romance is dead. Guys even admit they don’t feel comfortable asking a girl to dinner, saying they’d feel “against the norm” and the girl would think they were “weird.” [Direct quote, btw.] But, I asked myself, how do you explain all of my friends who are in relationships with people they MET at BC? Clearly, dating does exist, although it might not be in the same form that we will find once we leave this campus.
What if this “no dating” culture is really just an urban myth propagated by all the males in our student body who are too lazy, unmotivated, or just plain trying to “live the college lifestyle” to have real, bonafide relationships? And the females that repeat this urban myth are just swallowing this whopper whole in an attempt to rationalize the fact that they don’t have that special someone in their lives? If you think about it, this gives guys the perfect out - they can get satisfaction from a “random hook-up” and not have to worry about any emotional involvement, while a girl will tell herself the same thing in an attempt to deny she has any such emotions. Let’s face it, guys seem to be hardwired differently than females and seem to better be able to separate the physical stuff from the emotional stuff.
So all I’m saying, senior girls, is that we’re going into our last semester. We’re in the home stretch. I’ve heard many of you say, I know I won’t meet anyone until after college, out in the “real world” where people go on “real” dates. While this might be true, I still say make this last semester count. Don’t put up with the emotionless hook-ups if that’s not what you really want, in an attempt to make the guy come around and see how wonderful you really are. We deserve more. We deserve a guy who calls when he says he will, who pursues you because he can’t seem to spend enough time with you, who doesn’t lie about having a girlfriend or suddenly stop talking to you one day after getting back with an ex. We’re intelligent, we’re hard working - otherwise, would we be at a school like BC? And we.deserve.more.
And, if you want to, I can lend you the book.
Type your cut contents here.Hey, Senior Girls: You Deserve More
I’ll admit it, I’m a Sex and the City addict. I have seen every episode at least once, and I regularly watch the chopped up reruns on TBS and the WB. I even got the entire series box set for Christmas this year, and proceeded to watch seasons 1-4 over break. So I didn’t hesitate a few days ago when I was standing in Barnes and Noble armed with a $20 gift certificate to buy He’s Just Not That Into You, a book that I’d been meaning to read for a couple years. It’s written by two S&TC writers, and the phrase was even featured in an episode where Miranda felt empowered after a guy on the show gave that simple answer to why a guy didn’t call her back.
Now you’re probably asking, what does this have to do with being a senior? Well, I’ll tell you. All year, I’ve been repeating to myself over and over, when I looked around at my friends who were in relationships, that I was a senior and I didn’t have time for one. I was too busy dedicating too much of my time to a newspaper and a computer lab and trying to fit in my friends and occasionally time to actually study that it wouldn’t be fair to a guy who was interested in me to even pretend I had time to be a good girlfriend. So I just kept saying, I’m a senior. I’m a senior. I’m a senior. (And I know I’m not alone in this.)
And then popped up, “I’m most likely going into the Peace Corps. I’ll be gone for two years. I don’t expect a guy to wait for me, wouldn’t want him to, so what’s the point of starting something with an expiration date?”
All these excuses (yes, they are excuses) enabled me to distract myself from the fact that there were no candidates knocking down my door that I was having to turn away.
I remember having a conversation with a female friend of mine a few months ago. One day, when lamenting about the lack of prospects in our lives, she told me that because we were both smart, independent, and knew what we wanted, this scared guys away. While that was an easy pill to swallow, to pass the blame to guys being chicken s- and intimidated by our confidence and seeming lack of a need for a man, I can see now it was just another excuse.
This is where the book comes in. While I was reading it, a recent “endeavor” that I had attempted popped into my mind, and it showed all the warning signs - unavailable, unreliable, doesn’t follow through. At the time, I rationalized that it was okay because I was busy and didn’t want a commitment, that he was busy and when he didn’t come over after texting me from an airplane that he would as soon as he got back to campus, I swallowed the “family emergency” excuse. (Things got complicated after that, and it didn’t end well. But the whole thing made me forget the most important part - I wasn’t that into HIM to begin with!) And I know that this friend was in a similar relationship with a guy who just couldn’t give her what she needed and ended up breaking her heart.
Another friend confessed that she made herself busy in order to not have to face the fact that she was alone. At least she was honest with herself, all the while I was protesting that no, really, I was that busy. I remembered a relationship from a couple of years before when my grades dipped after starting it because I was too busy talking to him to do my homework - I told myself I didn’t want that and couldn’t afford to do that at this point in my life.
Everyone talks about how Boston College is a school where there is no dating culture, so this book might not really apply to our lives. People at BC don’t date, they all say, they just hook up at parties. Romance is dead. Guys even admit they don’t feel comfortable asking a girl to dinner, saying they’d feel “against the norm” and the girl would think they were “weird.” [Direct quote, btw.] But, I asked myself, how do you explain all of my friends who are in relationships with people they MET at BC? Clearly, dating does exist, although it might not be in the same form that we will find once we leave this campus.
What if this “no dating” culture is really just an urban myth propagated by all the males in our student body who are too lazy, unmotivated, or just plain trying to “live the college lifestyle” to have real, bonafide relationships? And the females that repeat this urban myth are just swallowing this whopper whole in an attempt to rationalize the fact that they don’t have that special someone in their lives? If you think about it, this gives guys the perfect out - they can get satisfaction from a “random hook-up” and not have to worry about any emotional involvement, while a girl will tell herself the same thing in an attempt to deny she has any such emotions. Let’s face it, guys seem to be hardwired differently than females and seem to better be able to separate the physical stuff from the emotional stuff.
So all I’m saying, senior girls, is that we’re going into our last semester. We’re in the home stretch. I’ve heard many of you say, I know I won’t meet anyone until after college, out in the “real world” where people go on “real” dates. While this might be true, I still say make this last semester count. Don’t put up with the emotionless hook-ups if that’s not what you really want, in an attempt to make the guy come around and see how wonderful you really are. We deserve more. We deserve a guy who calls when he says he will, who pursues you because he can’t seem to spend enough time with you, who doesn’t lie about having a girlfriend or suddenly stop talking to you one day after getting back with an ex. We’re intelligent, we’re hard working - otherwise, would we be at a school like BC? And we.deserve.more.
And, if you want to, I can lend you the book.