Arabian Nights Chapter 4 (mock)

[1on31y24]

Ok guys...after searching and literally tearing my room apart I have found my notes at last (cries tears of joy), so for the time being to keep you guys happy I am going to post a little glimpse of what is to come in chapter 4. I am sorry that it is so short. Hopefully once I write the actual chapter then it will be much much better. So without

Comments

[darkhime88]

A little sad that this isn't the real chapter 4 ^^. However, if you don't mind, I'll give you some comments. Everything goes smoothly on its way except Asami's expression. I think he's the type of person who never says he's in love even though he's been already. So the 2 sentences "Now even if I have to face a thousand armies I can die in peace" -> shouts a little like an emotional man in love and "why don't you tell me what other ways may I address the keeper of my heart?" -> he never says something this sweet and open like this. Therefore, (just my opinion), in the real chapter you should make him cold as usual and speaks as less and selective words as possible (he speaks a little too much).

I'm sorry if I make you upset with my comments when you've spent a lot of time and afford to continue the story. I love your Akihito (I usually prefer uke described beatiful and delicate like a flower -> shoujo effect *laugh*). He is my most favourite character so I'll wait for how you make him submissive to his lover day by day while still keep his own personality like a wild cat ^_^. 1 more thing, in chapter 4, can you please make the most extreme smex scene ever? (your description is very delicious)*grin like a pervert*

Don's be angry with me, okay! *puppy eyes*