(no subject)
sara told me i never update this, so i will.
i had this wierd thing happen. i was just sitting here and saw this picture of me when i was little, its one that i see all the time. but i looked at it today and i just got this memory in my head playing like a movie. my mom and me were sitting down talking. i was younger ... like 10-12. and she was putting her pictures into her new wallet. and there was one of me and she told me it used to be her favorite. and i asked why it wasnt anymore. the picture was one of those portrait studio ones she used to take me to get all the time and i thought i looked genuinly happy. so my mom answered me and said, "well you know how grandmom reene used to go to that stupid shrink downtown?" and i said "yeah me and grnadpop went with her one time and we got to sit in a coffee store and have a cookie and hot choclate and watch the people walk by." and my mom said "yeah that's right. well she showed him this picture one time and he asked if you were a happy kid. and she said yes you always seemed really happy and asked him why he said that. then the shrink said he figured as much but that you had sad eyes." then my mom started to look sad and said "that hurt me so much because i always tried to make you happy."
it was so wierd because i remember it so well now. and it made me feel terrible and sorry and sick to my stomach. do i really have sad eyes? that was long. im gonna try to go to bed.
i had this wierd thing happen. i was just sitting here and saw this picture of me when i was little, its one that i see all the time. but i looked at it today and i just got this memory in my head playing like a movie. my mom and me were sitting down talking. i was younger ... like 10-12. and she was putting her pictures into her new wallet. and there was one of me and she told me it used to be her favorite. and i asked why it wasnt anymore. the picture was one of those portrait studio ones she used to take me to get all the time and i thought i looked genuinly happy. so my mom answered me and said, "well you know how grandmom reene used to go to that stupid shrink downtown?" and i said "yeah me and grnadpop went with her one time and we got to sit in a coffee store and have a cookie and hot choclate and watch the people walk by." and my mom said "yeah that's right. well she showed him this picture one time and he asked if you were a happy kid. and she said yes you always seemed really happy and asked him why he said that. then the shrink said he figured as much but that you had sad eyes." then my mom started to look sad and said "that hurt me so much because i always tried to make you happy."
it was so wierd because i remember it so well now. and it made me feel terrible and sorry and sick to my stomach. do i really have sad eyes? that was long. im gonna try to go to bed.