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Throwback
"all the things that i said i wish that i never i said"
yes i have discovered AND experienced the infamous quote " you do crazy things when in love " crazy things like telling someone that you dont love them when in fact, you really do. There are soo many things that i could and probably did say that pissed him off JUST so i get one second of attention. Although there are 2 sides that may arise from this situation, the one REALLY at fault would be the one who says something wrong JUST to get that small amount of attention. As insecure as i feel and as low as my self esteem is, you can't blame me for pulling that LAME attempt to get this guy to notice that i do care about him. To make matters more intricate and confusing, hes in another country, England in fact. I don't understand why i wanna use hurtful memories just for him to say one word to me, but honestly its the only way i can get his attention. You know whats even more stupid, i make myself endure a personal predicament and make myself cry myself to sleep just so i can call him or get him to call me so i can hear his unworthy, persuasive, and useless voice.
how low can i get? if i REALLY wanted to THAT bad.. i could probably stoop even lower. I must say that quite a few people have approached me to help them figure out what the bloodclot they're going through. More and more people i see on msn and their emo names, both girls and boys are struggling soo hard to friggin trust themselves and realize that they ARE important in the world and that they are great. ESPECIALLY GIRLS. believe me i know how it feels, cause if u didn't already figure out I'm a girl, ha. Boys, as stupid as they can be, they don't even know that they do hurt us, and that they actually lower our self-esteem, our self confidence. As impossible as some may seem, boys CAN change, for the good or just get worse. but why change them? your attracted to a guy because of how they are, they appeal to you, they're sometimes exactly like you, and all you wanna do sometimes is change them. From boys eyes, we're just not pretty enough or "hot" enough. And when guys cheat, its not even they dont even think that i gave my heart away to someone i loved, yes that but also did he ever think that i might possibly have the lowest selt esteem of life? probably not, because otherwise i wouldn't be crying my ass off thinking i wasn't pretty enough or even skinny enough. So go ahead, break your lifetime promise, break your monogamous agreement and break her heart. Even if your not even dealing, although every girl may not be the same, they still hurt, they still want ALL of you because thats ALL they give to you. They're All. Then THEY find someone that gives them everything that YOU didn't give, can you blame them? im not saying its bad, but shoot, you cheat on girls just cause u find some whore that SEEMS to be hotter than the greatest thing you ever came across, and ALL that whore has to offer is fucking sex.
I'm not in it to hate on guys and spend all my time trying to convince guy to change and stop hurting girls. I'm just so sick and tired of people crying over guys or girls that don't give a shit, I'M tired of crying, like seriously its so retarded because i dont know if girls are stupid for giving guys their all even though they KNOW guys will probably through it away, or if guys are stupid for treating girls like shit and never noticing every thing that girls do, although somethings that we do are kinda... useless.
BUUUUT
To all those guys that have made that girl smile, opened the door everytime, understood every situation she was in, put her before anything else, called her to make sure she got home okay, said i love you before she went to bed everyday, held like you never wanted to let go, stuck by her side ever second even though you guys weren't together, to every guy that kept your personality she LOVED and changed things that pissed her off, never let a girl control you, stayed calm when she was yelling at you, never hung the phone up on her, never walked away while an arguement, and ALWAYS pointed to her from a distance and told your friends "there she is, my girl" and to every guy that made a girl feel like a queen that she deserves to be..... BAP BAP YOUR FRIGGIN AWESOME AND NO GIRL DESERVES YOU. ha