Wal Mart Diagnosis

May 01, 2009 12:00



One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the
computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Joe puts a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours
the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.  He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm
sample for good measure. Joe hurried back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.

He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results.  The computer then prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard.  Get a water softener.  (Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm.  Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.  (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant; twins.  They aren't yours.  Get a lawyer.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart
Previous post Next post
Up