i really dont know how to feel
Things have gotten better scince i last wrote. ive gotten all my school shit together but things still suck. heres the problem. ive hung out with a different group of friends every year scince about six grade. its been cool because im really popular now, not popular im just all around everywhere. but ive never learned how to keep friends. like when my friends piss me off. i dont know how to deal with them. i usally just hang out with other people instead of working things out. this leaves me very lonely sxometimes. i have a ton of friends, dont get me wrong. its just have two or three really close friends. so now i really need close friends because going to a new school is alot harder than i thought. its just that i can hanging out with a huge crowd of people but still feel completly alone. and another problem is came a 1000 student school, and now i go to about a 3000 person school and i cant handle the fact that im just another face in the crowd. plus ive felt so ugly lately. guys at this school dont even look my way. bastards. today this retarded guy told me i wasnt hot. i almost hit him in the face. really, im just lonely and tired of tring to work with other people. its so hot here and i know its much wrose in new orleans but it got so hot in my school yesterday that the fire alarm went off. im really scared that im not going to be the person i wanted when i started going to this school. its only been a week but its felt like a month and im really mentally tired. if the rest of this year goes this slow i wont make it. things are better but im still having a hard time adjusting.