I get drunk in the dark
As really sad as it sounds, I have so much fun with myself. And I don't mean in a sexual way because if I read that, that would be the first thing that comes to mind. This is the first night I've drunken? with myself in like a week or so I dont know but Im fucking having fun. I really don't get drunk unless I'm alone. And that makes it a hell of a lot more sad or sadder? Im not sure what the correct grammer is at the time. Im used to being the responsible one and not going overboard (is that right spelling) with others. But when alone I really let loose. I drink if fuck lot more and I think or I really should say that drunkness starts with the mentality and if my mind sets not in the mood to get fucked up I can drink like a fuckin' bitch and not get drunk, but many people don't know how to control it. But im drinkin and im only going to get more fucked up. At least I can say I can have fun with myself. At least I can say that my life doesnt have to include others. That's independence right there. When you can make yourself happy,content and just have fun with no one else. That's self love everyone should attain.
I saw josh today after sometime. He looked even hotter than the last time I saw him. Usually he's hotter with his glasses on but he was really hot without them. Then his shirt off and he was covered in grass and dirt, that is so me. I think I really do have a thing for him. I only get shy around guys I actually like the other guys im extremely blunt around and don't care what I say around them, but those are the guys I attract and fuck. Unfortunately I haven't gone far with Josh. I realized guy I actually have feelings for I take my time because as hot as he fucking is I don't want to fuck just yet. Maybe for the second time in my life if I actually fuck him it will mean something and feel like something as well....
I saw josh today after sometime. He looked even hotter than the last time I saw him. Usually he's hotter with his glasses on but he was really hot without them. Then his shirt off and he was covered in grass and dirt, that is so me. I think I really do have a thing for him. I only get shy around guys I actually like the other guys im extremely blunt around and don't care what I say around them, but those are the guys I attract and fuck. Unfortunately I haven't gone far with Josh. I realized guy I actually have feelings for I take my time because as hot as he fucking is I don't want to fuck just yet. Maybe for the second time in my life if I actually fuck him it will mean something and feel like something as well....