(no subject)
a couple days ago i sat and very seriously considered walking out onto the road.. and then never stop walking. i mean eventually i would stop.. but i guess i was just filled with this rush of irritation of how small i feel in this world. i just feel like another ant in the farm. another brick in the wall. we all seriously follow the rules of everything we're told since we've been young.. yet we have all the power in the world to do whatever we want... everyones just too scared. and theyre scared for good reason.. because there would be war. and thats the most fucked up part. people cant just live selflessly and mind their own business and accept everyone as their equal.. they have to blame everyone else for their own demise. and in turn.. they blame, and hate, and brew and brew on that hate.. until nothing else matters.. and they attack. we all hurt each other and we all feel the pain. we should all be working together.. but too many people want power.
nothing surprises me anymore.. and being surprised is my most favorite thing in the world. i wish i could expect more from a day than the same constant humdrum that happens all of the time... or be more pleased with the simple things.. its hard to be grateful when there is so much negativity everywhere. i feel like if i were to only see the pleasures in life i would be blinding myself and end up hurting myself even more. because thats all hurt is.. its what we do to ourselves.. its no one elses fault. no one controls how we feel, yet we torture ourselves over and over. sick. sad.
nothing surprises me anymore.. and being surprised is my most favorite thing in the world. i wish i could expect more from a day than the same constant humdrum that happens all of the time... or be more pleased with the simple things.. its hard to be grateful when there is so much negativity everywhere. i feel like if i were to only see the pleasures in life i would be blinding myself and end up hurting myself even more. because thats all hurt is.. its what we do to ourselves.. its no one elses fault. no one controls how we feel, yet we torture ourselves over and over. sick. sad.