Marriage...
So I don't really blog on myspace because too many people are on there and drama always arises... I think its safe to blog here though...
So, I've been married for seven months today... Seven months! It feels like longer? I don't know. Up until very recently though, maybe the last 6-7 weeks I honestly felt like my husband hated me. I think I hated him a little myself... All we did was fight. We fought over the silliest things too. We'd fight about tv, laundry, where the loose change was kept, why the iron was always in different places- everything. As stupid as it sounds, it was even dumber that we would fight about it and take it to the extremes we took it to. I would leave the house or cry myself sick and he would go out and drink or something. I was lost in my expectations of marriage and that "honeymoon phase" that seemed like it had skipped us. I contemplated divorce very seriously every week or so. I was so embarrassed because EVERYONE told me not to get married. I'd known the guy 7 weeks and was ready to jump in. I was so sure of my decision that I lost friends acquaintances and even family along the way. I wanted to be right so bad that I didn't care who was telling me what. Who were they to step in the way of my happiness right? I don't know. It was rough. I got pregnant like a month after we got married and my hormones were going nuts. I got so sick I lost 16 lbs in the first 3 months so that of course didn't help. I couldn't get out of bed or eat or leave the house. I was so miserable and I guess Brian was too, but we just didn't know how to deal with it. I think the honeymoon is finally here though. We still fight of course, but they're short fights and we've learned a lot about compromise and what not. I can finally fall asleep in his arms and feel safe and loved and know that I did make the right choice and not regret a thing. I know marriages end etc, but for now I'm happy and nothing else matters. Our little girl will be here soon and I couldn't be happier. Life is great and I wouldn't change a thing.
In retrospect our marriage was like a season of Real World. We were literally two strangers in a house forced to interact. At first it was ok, then it got bad and we got on each others nerves, but once we got used to each other and just let it be it was nice. I don't know who started the idea of the honeymoon phase coming in the beginning, but they were wrong... I have yet to meet a married couple that didn't have problems at the start. Most marriages fail in the first year for a reason I guess.
Anyway, it is what it is... Happy Thanksgiving Week...