(no subject)

[1hopelessheart]

wow this whole week has just been way too much. i was so busy it was almost overwhelming. everynight i didnt get to be at home til about 9 or 930 at night. sometimes it seems i was spending more time in my car then i was with my mom. and then my dad has to come around screaming about every little thing. i dont even freaking live with him why does he have to mess with me. and shannon doesnt help things, shes just a little manipulator. so i went to go help my great grandparents bc they live just off chatham&wabash which was where the tornado hit so i went to go check on them to make sure they were okay, and my dad found out and got super pissed so of course he ripped my head off. im pretty sure i was screamed at for around 37 minutes. not that i timed him or anything. and then he cant leave me alone, so he yells at me some more about my stupid phone. im tired of all his bull, so i went and bought myself a new phone. basically im not really going to use my other one, and mostly depend on the new one. not only do i have to deal with my deusch bag of a father, and shannon, but i have to try and concentrate on school. of course thats going over well. im not doing bad, i have no C's. i have an A in gym, ind. art, lit, elements, and choir, and a B in zoo and geometry. so why the hell is my dad complaining?! he wants me to go to some crazy ivy league school and make loads of money but i dont care about money i just want to not be around him. i hate having to depend on him for college money, so im seriously debating whether or not i want him to pay for it. i want to make my own way, it would be so much more independent, and i cant stand being dependant anyway. im completely stressed right now, with school, soccer, the school musical, and the easter play with my church. all of my nights are taken up, and not only that, but whenever i do have free time, i go into work. sometimes i work for my mom at her shop, and sometimes i go over and help my great grandparents because they cant depend on themselves. on the weekends most of the time i have soccer and church, and if im not doing that, im at parties. or doing something. i love being busy but sometimes i just need to sleep. dont even get me started on guys. they are not even an issue right now. i dont have a boyfriend, and however much i might want one right now, i really dont have time. relationships are so pressured and the only way i would want one is if freaking hayden christensen asked me out. but thats just a fantasy, all of the boys around here are too complicated anyway. either they only pay attention to me when they feel like it, or they're too obsessive. ive had a few offers lately, and though i love the guys (as friends), i would never date them. its sort of getting easier to turn them down. i just dont know, soccer will occupy my life for the next 2 months. the easter play at WS is only til the end of march, and the musical ends late April. if i do get a boyfriend, he'll have to be very flexible. lol, either way, im waiting until AT LEAST spring break. life life life. oih. this week has been all of the above, and last night was a party out in sherman with allegra and her gang, haha. goooood times. dang, i really wanted taco bell =P
tonight i will probably go to the play out in plains, which will be a few hours. hopefully done around 9. then ill go party hop for awhile, and i think Kat is coming over to spend the night. yaaah. so thats about it. i decided to actually tell you whats going on with me in this entry. it probably wont happen for a while. or ever. im not sure. haha. welll yah, call me sometime. =] <3