I know it'll get better
But, today was hard. I really miss my sweet dog. I kept looking for her today, in the corner of the couch where'd she'd always be after the kids went to bed, under the coffee table where she'd taken to sleeping since she didn't feel good, in the crumples of the bed in the morning...
I had to go to the vet today. I could have waited a few days but then I'd have to take kids and today was my last chance to go by myself. I had to take the case of food back that I had just bought on Wednesday. I think I knew what was coming, I never brought it all the way into the house. The vet gave me a credit for it. Unfortunately, she couldn't take back any of the seemingly zillions of meds I had, but my mom has a friend who is very active with a local shelter, so I'm donating them all to that shelter. That felt good.
I didn't realize going to the vet's would be so hard. It was sort of like returning to the scene of the crime or something. I had to pay for the cremation and the last x-rays and signing the credit card receipt just felt so final, like I wouldn't be doing anything else for Wrigley. I had to sit in my car for 5 minutes crying before I felt like I could drive home.
DH and I went through a ton of photo albums tonight and talked a lot about her. I pulled out a few pictures that I liked to put in a little album and frame a few others. I promised each of the kids that I'd put a framed picture of the dog in their rooms, I'd also like one in mine. I found a great picture of her last summer standing in my back yard with bright yellow flowers behind her. She was so cute. Going through the pictures was a good healing activity for me. I took her collar and leash and her two favorite toys and put them in a bag. I'm going to keep the bag with her ashes and some day I'll figure out what to do with them. She had this little squeaky duck (it was actually a baby toy) that the breeder gave to us when we brought her home. She loved that thing, I think I replaced it at least 2 times it would get so ratty.
I have told DH that I don't think I'll be ready to get another dog for at least a year. Although now I'm realizing that Tucker will be 12 in the spring, I've told him he has to live 2 years as I can't do this again. Although I think things might have been different if Wrigley had been old, I'm just in shock at how short her life was. I keep feeling like I need to say "I can't believe it, I can't believe it" over and over and over again.
Now that I'm really missing Wrigley and remembering how snuggly and loveable she was, I'm wanting another dog like her. Tucker is snuggly, but he never gives kisses and he's more of a 'taker'. He loves to be scratched and if you stop, he'll whack you, but he doesn't really give much, he's much more aloof. I'm not ready to train a puppy, I'm still potty-training a kid, I can't add a puppy to the mix. Besides, I think I'm going to enjoy having 1 dog for a while, the quieter pace in the house, the smaller amount of money spent especially on grooming, etc.
But, we did start talking about what kind of dog we'd want. DH is allergic to dogs that shed, but I'd love to explore some of the supposedly hypo-allergenic breeds and see what their temperments are like. Theoretically, I'd love to get a rescue, but I've been to a few shelters in my life and they always make me cry, maybe if we pick a breed, I can find a breed specific rescue group...
C feels the need to tell everyone about her dog. My mom came by today and C said, "did you know that Wrigley died?" I have a feeling that conversation will be repeated many many times.
I had to go to the vet today. I could have waited a few days but then I'd have to take kids and today was my last chance to go by myself. I had to take the case of food back that I had just bought on Wednesday. I think I knew what was coming, I never brought it all the way into the house. The vet gave me a credit for it. Unfortunately, she couldn't take back any of the seemingly zillions of meds I had, but my mom has a friend who is very active with a local shelter, so I'm donating them all to that shelter. That felt good.
I didn't realize going to the vet's would be so hard. It was sort of like returning to the scene of the crime or something. I had to pay for the cremation and the last x-rays and signing the credit card receipt just felt so final, like I wouldn't be doing anything else for Wrigley. I had to sit in my car for 5 minutes crying before I felt like I could drive home.
DH and I went through a ton of photo albums tonight and talked a lot about her. I pulled out a few pictures that I liked to put in a little album and frame a few others. I promised each of the kids that I'd put a framed picture of the dog in their rooms, I'd also like one in mine. I found a great picture of her last summer standing in my back yard with bright yellow flowers behind her. She was so cute. Going through the pictures was a good healing activity for me. I took her collar and leash and her two favorite toys and put them in a bag. I'm going to keep the bag with her ashes and some day I'll figure out what to do with them. She had this little squeaky duck (it was actually a baby toy) that the breeder gave to us when we brought her home. She loved that thing, I think I replaced it at least 2 times it would get so ratty.
I have told DH that I don't think I'll be ready to get another dog for at least a year. Although now I'm realizing that Tucker will be 12 in the spring, I've told him he has to live 2 years as I can't do this again. Although I think things might have been different if Wrigley had been old, I'm just in shock at how short her life was. I keep feeling like I need to say "I can't believe it, I can't believe it" over and over and over again.
Now that I'm really missing Wrigley and remembering how snuggly and loveable she was, I'm wanting another dog like her. Tucker is snuggly, but he never gives kisses and he's more of a 'taker'. He loves to be scratched and if you stop, he'll whack you, but he doesn't really give much, he's much more aloof. I'm not ready to train a puppy, I'm still potty-training a kid, I can't add a puppy to the mix. Besides, I think I'm going to enjoy having 1 dog for a while, the quieter pace in the house, the smaller amount of money spent especially on grooming, etc.
But, we did start talking about what kind of dog we'd want. DH is allergic to dogs that shed, but I'd love to explore some of the supposedly hypo-allergenic breeds and see what their temperments are like. Theoretically, I'd love to get a rescue, but I've been to a few shelters in my life and they always make me cry, maybe if we pick a breed, I can find a breed specific rescue group...
C feels the need to tell everyone about her dog. My mom came by today and C said, "did you know that Wrigley died?" I have a feeling that conversation will be repeated many many times.