im letting if flow 'cause its my so called life so dont say a damn thing
My life at this time feels so ordinary and plane. Even if I try to spice it up a little, it doesn't go that high. I'm at such a plank of what to do. I couldn't even begin to interpret what it all is and what it means. But I would have to say it's mostly from what people have been presenting this type of false abrupt kind of friendship. In fact it doesn't feel like one at all...
So it all starts with a break up WWWWAAAAYYY over due. And I knew it. And people just didn't want to have to deal with me bc I didn't just want to fucking listen to there bitching. And I didn't want to have to deal with them. But yet, they didn't even want to listen to my bitching either. And I would have to say; the one thing that I know that helps is to talk about it. To get it out. Let it go. And get a little fucked up every now and then lol. But no one wants to here this shit! But they will party with you or will they. So then I'm left with being tongue tided and no ears to fucking listen and to help. So I felt I was alone in this one. Well I ended it bc I thought that's(is)what he wanted. And I KNEW I wanted it! To tell you the truth the relationship came out of fucking left field. It was like being told to ride your bike at night with no lights what so ever, in complete darkness. You're bound to fuckin run in to something. And I did! I run good and hard into that fucking brick wall! It took 6 months to hit the ground finely. I try to look at the positive side of it all now, but you never forget what happened and you learn from it. But I have also found now that people stop being so nice if you're not like a hooch and shake your ass in a thong and put out for them. And if you do, they would stop talking to you ‘cause they're a guy and they want the booty call to come to them. Blah.blah.blah... it's like either way you're fucked. Nothing is ever good enough. And its not like I want to put in much effort bc what do I get out of if? And I love that line when they say "let’s go get some chicks!" HA! riiiight buddy, just like that. lol. N e ways, I left El Co to wait till June 15 to go to West Valley. And life is boooorring! You hang out with the guys but yet they aen't doing anything for the past couple of weekends. So you get board of them. But then one weekend I can stay out all night and Gabe's having a party. And I felt out placed so I left bc my cover was blown n e ways. But I swear most girls will not take on a lone ranger. Its like for sure you would have to bring your own fucking posse. SHIIIT! So then you try to kick it with the girls and have a girls night out. But when you call to indicate that it's like their not a where of it on prepouse. Life sometimes is a no win; win situation and you just have to expect it. Shit happens and there is nothing that you can do about It. but try to laugh! But there is no way this young lady is giving up and giving in to what I'm wrapped in. It will slowly unfold, faster in due time. So all I have to say is that if you don't see this girl with a smile on her face and not saying anything, you may think " she needs to step on of her shell." But what I see is a dangerous grace not afraid of the hostility life could bring. It baffles me when people say one thing and mean another or not stick to their word. And I fucking hate it bc its like wow how fake are you? I know I'm sure I have done those things, I'm not saying im perfect and thank god! But I know I don’t do it often, at least I hope I don’t. N e ways, im just freaking out bc people piss me off!!!
Just let me live my life
I wont ever run and hide
I wont compromise
‘Cause I'll never know
I can't keep it inside so I'm freaking out and letting go
Sure the days haven't been the same
But who knows what could happen
One things true there's always a brand new day
Nothing is like I thought
And it's not what I'm looking for or what I wanted
But I would have to say I know im better off alone away
what ever happen to my fucking happy ending
So it all starts with a break up WWWWAAAAYYY over due. And I knew it. And people just didn't want to have to deal with me bc I didn't just want to fucking listen to there bitching. And I didn't want to have to deal with them. But yet, they didn't even want to listen to my bitching either. And I would have to say; the one thing that I know that helps is to talk about it. To get it out. Let it go. And get a little fucked up every now and then lol. But no one wants to here this shit! But they will party with you or will they. So then I'm left with being tongue tided and no ears to fucking listen and to help. So I felt I was alone in this one. Well I ended it bc I thought that's(is)what he wanted. And I KNEW I wanted it! To tell you the truth the relationship came out of fucking left field. It was like being told to ride your bike at night with no lights what so ever, in complete darkness. You're bound to fuckin run in to something. And I did! I run good and hard into that fucking brick wall! It took 6 months to hit the ground finely. I try to look at the positive side of it all now, but you never forget what happened and you learn from it. But I have also found now that people stop being so nice if you're not like a hooch and shake your ass in a thong and put out for them. And if you do, they would stop talking to you ‘cause they're a guy and they want the booty call to come to them. Blah.blah.blah... it's like either way you're fucked. Nothing is ever good enough. And its not like I want to put in much effort bc what do I get out of if? And I love that line when they say "let’s go get some chicks!" HA! riiiight buddy, just like that. lol. N e ways, I left El Co to wait till June 15 to go to West Valley. And life is boooorring! You hang out with the guys but yet they aen't doing anything for the past couple of weekends. So you get board of them. But then one weekend I can stay out all night and Gabe's having a party. And I felt out placed so I left bc my cover was blown n e ways. But I swear most girls will not take on a lone ranger. Its like for sure you would have to bring your own fucking posse. SHIIIT! So then you try to kick it with the girls and have a girls night out. But when you call to indicate that it's like their not a where of it on prepouse. Life sometimes is a no win; win situation and you just have to expect it. Shit happens and there is nothing that you can do about It. but try to laugh! But there is no way this young lady is giving up and giving in to what I'm wrapped in. It will slowly unfold, faster in due time. So all I have to say is that if you don't see this girl with a smile on her face and not saying anything, you may think " she needs to step on of her shell." But what I see is a dangerous grace not afraid of the hostility life could bring. It baffles me when people say one thing and mean another or not stick to their word. And I fucking hate it bc its like wow how fake are you? I know I'm sure I have done those things, I'm not saying im perfect and thank god! But I know I don’t do it often, at least I hope I don’t. N e ways, im just freaking out bc people piss me off!!!
Just let me live my life
I wont ever run and hide
I wont compromise
‘Cause I'll never know
I can't keep it inside so I'm freaking out and letting go
Sure the days haven't been the same
But who knows what could happen
One things true there's always a brand new day
Nothing is like I thought
And it's not what I'm looking for or what I wanted
But I would have to say I know im better off alone away
what ever happen to my fucking happy ending