Another again

[1daddy_boy]

Ex's and oh's...the girl resurfaces. Just when my thoughts of her were few and tinged with indifference. It took time to get to indifference. Just when I am on my way to healing...there she goes again. I wanted to stay salty. I wanted to feel...nothing. But a funny thing happened at dinner. She apologized. Sincerely. And I could feel it. I could see the truth in her statements in her eyes. And I just couldn't stay mad. Best laid plans blown to hell! I don't know if it is maturity or age or what because I have never been the real forgiving type. I give you a lot of rope to start but once your at the end of it your usually done son...second chances were not my strong suite. I find lately though me questioning myself more. Like calling me out on my own shit. As I sat at dinner listening to this girl tell me everything I had wanted to hear a year ago with tears in her eyes, I could feel the love in her heart for me. I am not a completely heartless bastard as some think. Her words made me think. What am I gaining exerting the energy to stay mad because I was hurt. That was all it was about in the end. I was hurt. Daddy was hurt that his girl did not turn to him in her time of need. That simple. So I choose life and forgiveness. I don't know where our new connection will take us but we are both willing to put the past behind us and start over. Another again...like that John Legend song I love. It could all crash and burn again but I am learning that a life lived without risk is no life at all for me anymore. I wish to find out for
myself if things are meant to be and not just sit on my ass and wonder.

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