round 12 - team au - not shy of a spark - 1/3
Title: Not Shy Of A Spark
Pairing: Liam/Zayn, Harry/Louis, Niall/Josh
Word Count: 24, 589
Warning(s): smut, bad language, alcohol use
Summary: au in which the boys (and josh) work in a shopping mall.
A/N: I want to thank my betas who kept gave me so much help and kept me sane as I wrote this. Enjoy.
Zayn pulls into the only empty space in the car park in a cloud of smoke. He considers asking his boss for a raise to buy a car that is older than his dad and will not have everyone in the area choking on fumes but he laughs at the thought.
After using all of his strength to wrestle the car door closed, he turns and looks up at the huge sign ‘Woodlands Shopping Centre’. Today it is sunny out and the rays bounce off the dreary sign and shine right in Zayn’s eyes. He is already late but he risks a cigarette before traipsing inside.
“You’re late” Dave, his boss, sighs when Zayn walks inside the art supply shop in his usual slump.
“Sorry” Zayn grumbles but he doesn’t mean it, Dave knows that and he snorts in Zayn’s direction.
“A shelf collapsed last night” Dave hands him a mop and smirks, cocking an eyebrow towards the back of the shop. Zayn grabs the mop and stalks over to where there is a colourful mess splattered all over the ground.
There is paint everywhere and he should be annoyed but he can’t help but stare at the colourful pattern on the ground and smile as he begins to clean it up.
red
Red is Louis, Zayn decides when he wrings out the mop and watches different shades of crimson float down the drain.
Because red reminds Zayn of passion, anger, intensity, love. Everything that also reminds him of Louis.
Louis is his best friend who works in the clothing shop on the opposite side of Zayn’s workplace on the second floor. He loves it but tries to act like he hates it. He loves it because he mostly works in the fitting rooms and secretly enjoys either perving on or judging every single person that comes in to try on clothes.
“You should’ve seen this girl this morning; she tried on that floral pink dress I was telling you about. So disgusting” he sneers as they both tuck into their lunch. They sit at their usual table against the window outside Gina’s Cafe. It has become a tradition in the past year of working together, everyone knows it is their table.
“You’re so gay” Zayn snorts into his soup and flinches when Louis flicks his nose.
“You’re one to talk. Have you seen what Liam is wearing today?” Louis comments, eyeing Zayn closely over the rim of his glass.
“What are you on about?” Zayn says but his cheeks start to colour and Louis smirks.
“Lads, you have to pay today, the boss is getting suspicious” Niall interrupts their conversation and Zayn could almost hug him. Louis is in a mischievous mood and the conversation would have taken an embarrassing turn for Zayn.
“Sure” Zayn grins and hands Niall the correct amount of cash, hoping that in paying for Louis’ lunch he will leave him alone.
When Gina steps out of the office, Niall runs back inside and behind the counter to put the cash in the register.
“I’ve to get back” Louis stands up “but trust me, Liam’s trousers are tight as hell” he adds before grinning madly at Zayn and skipping back over to the clothes shop.
Zayn groans and waves inside the window at Niall before leaving the empty bowls and glasses on the table and returning back to work himself.
He walks the long way around, so as to avoid walking past the sports shop Liam works in. He knows he will end up staying there for more than his lunch break allows, probably staring at Liam’s arse if Louis is in any way right.
He returns to his mopping, having got rid of most of the spillage but Dave wants the floor absolutely spotless.
green
Green reminds Zayn of Niall. It’s stereotypical but it might be because he is Irish. Or maybe because Gina’s Café is painted green. It could also do with the fact that Niall’s head is almost always covered with a green snapback with his name on it. Something which Zayn thought at first was pretentious but once he saw Niall smile he knew the boy was far from it.
Green is natural, carefree, refreshing. That’s what Niall is. He’s real and Zayn cannot think of anyone he loves spending time with more. If you need to sit in silence, Niall will gladly sit there with you, no awkwardness, he’s just there. If you need a laugh, Niall’s jokes are corny but the way he laughs at himself will make you laugh even harder. And if you need a drink; Niall is definitely the one to turn to.
“So, have you seen Liam today?”
Zayn gapes at his friend who is focusing too hard on cleaning a table, avoiding Zayn’s stare.
“You’ve been spending too much time with Louis” he sighs and catches Niall’s cheeky smile.
“I’m just curious! He was asking about you earlier” Niall says and his grin is brighter than the fluorescent lights of the shopping centre.
“What was he saying?” Zayn can’t help but ask and groans when he thinks of how Louis would react if he was here.
“Just asking if you were working today because he hadn’t seen you” Niall shrugs but he looks smug so Zayn hits him a thump in the arm.
“Do you ever work?” Niall asks, looking over Zayn’s shoulder to where Dave must be glaring in Zayn’s direction.
“It’s boring” Zayn answers simply but Dave’s eyes are boring into him so he sighs before exiting the café with a complimentary mint melting on his tongue.
“You’re pushing your luck, Malik” Dave warns when Zayn walks past him to fix the shelf. Zayn shrugs, ignoring the older man and getting to work.
He strolls into the supply room to get new paint to put on the shelf, taking note of what colours are nearly out that he’ll need to order.
He ignores a customer in order to put the paint back on the shelf and sniggers when Dave shoots him daggers and walks over to deal with her himself.
purple
Purple is Harry. Because Zayn’s not quite sure how he feels about purple. And he’s not quite sure what he thinks of Harry.
Harry is new and Zayn always finds new shades of purple, no matter how much he works at painting. Harry is wild and so is violet. But Harry makes him smile. It’s hard not to smile when Harry Styles is around. Lilac makes Zayn smile because it is his mother’s favourite colour. He also makes him jealous. Jealousy is a murky raspberry colour in Zayn’s mind and that’s what Harry’s colour is.
Because before Harry, Louis was Zayn’s and Zayn’s alone. He hates himself for thinking it because Louis was never his technically. But he liked to know that Louis was only happy with him and that makes him selfish and a bad person but he can’t help it.
It’s hard not to want to be the only one who has Louis’ attention.
“Harry’s dimple is weird” Louis comments when Zayn finally yanks open the passenger door for him and they clamber inside.
“What?” Zayn snaps because he is tired and not in the mood for Louis to be coy.
“Well it is” Louis grumbles, looking over at Zayn who is frowning and grumpy.
“Whatever” Zayn rolls down the window and lights a fag.
“Jesus what the fuck is your problem?” Louis mutters and Zayn’s heart lurches guiltily because he knows he is being irrational.
So he drives them home and kisses Louis the moment they walk inside their flat and fucks him minutes later so he doesn’t have to hear about Harry again.
/
“I’m thinking of buying a record player” Louis says when Zayn appears in the morning, still half asleep and mumbling about pulling a sickie.
“I think it would be a nice addition to our lavish sitting room” Louis continues when Zayn pours himself a mug of coffee.
“Lavish” Zayn repeats, thinking about the old sofa, easel and tiny television which is all their sitting room compiles of.
“Yeah, then we can buy records every now and again” Louis sighs.
Zayn’s mind may be sleep deprived but he puts two and two together.
“You just want to buy stuff off Harry” he points his mug accusingly at Louis who tries his best to act surprised but fails.
“Yeah… I know” he sighs dramatically and flops against the chair.
Zayn pushes his jealousy aside. “Just talk to him for god sake”.
“What?! Are you mad? He’ll laugh at me for being so… I don’t even know him… what if… no” Louis panics and if Zayn wasn’t so tired, he would laugh at how adorable Louis can be sometimes.
“Stop being a pussy”
“You talk to Liam then” Louis challenges, glad of the subject change but the blush remains on his cheeks.
“I do”
“Hello and goodbye don’t count”
“Whatever”
“You’re late”
“Whatever”
/
“You’re late”
It is becoming a mantra and Zayn almost asks Dave why he hasn’t fired him yet. Instead he takes the paintbrush Dave holds out to him.
“We need a new piece for the window” Dave says and Zayn bites down on a pleased smile. His last piece must have been sold.
He gladly rushes over to the acrylic section and picks out a medley of colours, thousands of ideas rushing through his head.
When he paints, he is in his element. Especially when he has a great idea. But now, he spends hours idly brushing at the white canvas without any inspiration.
“Am I interrupting?” he hears a voice from behind him and its warm and smiling and Zayn shivers before turning around.
Liam is standing there with a sandwich in his hand and a bottle of Coke in the other.
“Niall sent me over with food because apparently you missed lunch” he adds when Zayn doesn’t speak.
“Oh, thanks” Zayn grumbles and panics about how he looks; he must be covered in paint. He puts down the pallet and brush and takes the plate of food, not realising how hungry he was until just now.
“That’s good” Liam points at the canvas, eyes jumping when Zayn’s fingers brush off his own.
“It’s… nothing. I don’t even know what it is” Zayn says, embarrassed at his own work and the way Liam is smiling at it like it is something.
“I’m sure you’ll turn it into something, I always like your work” Liam says, turning a bright shade of red and Zayn swears his heart explodes.
“Anyway, I better go back to work. I have a new kid starting that I have to help. Josh something?” Liam mumbles and starts backing out of the shop, lips curved into an awkward smile that Zayn can’t help but return.
After his late lunch the door swings open again and Zayn groans when he hears a sassy comment or two regarding the smell of the shop.
“I thought it was your day off” Zayn says, cursing when his hand shakes, causing a streak of blue to dart across the canvas.
“I was bored at home”
“So you came to work”
“This is not work, this is your work”
“Yes, where I am actually working- go annoy someone else”
He turns around and Louis is staring at him. He looks like he has dressed up and looks… shy. It puts Zayn on edge.
“Why do you look nice?”
Louis snorts and plays with a button on his denim shirt, making a funny face at Zayn.
“I’m taking your advice”
“My advice?”
“I’m going to talk to Harry Styles today” Louis announces like he is stating he’s going to try and break a world record.
Zayn turns back to his painting before Louis can read his expression. But apparently his body language is enough.
“Jesus, Zayn you are easier to read than GQ magazine! What’s your problem with Harry?”
Zayn bristles. He doesn’t have a problem with Harry. He doesn’t. At least he doesn’t want to have one.
“I don’t have a problem with Harry” he answers, trying to relax his shoulders and focus on the painting.
“Then what is it?” Louis’ voice softens and Zayn hates himself because of the way that makes him feel.
“Nothing, I’m just annoyed with this painting it all”
His lie is a weak one and he hears Louis sigh before he exits the shop, leaving Zayn in a thick silence.
/
blue
Blue is sadness.
Zayn paints over the whole canvas and his day’s work in a dark blue, almost navy colour. He covers everything. He nearly covers himself in it.
He is sad because he is confused. He wants Liam. He is pretty sure everyone in the entire world apart from Liam knows it. But he doesn’t want to give Louis up. He and Louis are best friends. They fuck sometimes. He loves Louis more than anyone but he doesn’t want to share him.
It’s wrong. It’s frustrating. It’s sad.
Louis should be happy, Louis deserves to be happy. But the last time Louis fell in love, Zayn spent four long months with Louis tucked into his neck every night, crying most of the time until they both fell asleep. After that, Zayn was the only person who made Louis truly happy and Zayn convinced himself it was always going to be that way.
When he walks out of the shop and starts to lock up, he has to deal with the fact that that might have to change. Louis’ laugh can be heard from the first floor and once Zayn locks the door he walks over to the railing and peeps down.
Harry is walking out of the music shop he recently started working in and Louis is following him like a puppy. They’re both laughing and it’s hard for Zayn not to smile at the sight. It’s cute.
“See you around?” Louis asks, biting on his lip nervously and Zayn can’t make out what Harry says but it must be good because Louis lights up. He glows beautifully like that.
Zayn sighs, prepping himself for a giddy Louis and makes his way out to the car where he knows the older boy will be waiting for him.
Louis is silent in the car which surprises Zayn but he is jumping around and singing along with whatever is on the radio.
“I heard you were talking to Liam today”
“I saw you talking to Harry today”
Louis grins at him and Zayn has to return it.
“Let’s go out tonight” Louis announces, grabbing his phone, probably to text whoever is in his contacts about whatever plan he has in store.
/
Maybe it’s the three shots of tequila but Zayn finds himself comfortably wedged between Liam and Niall in a booth in the club they all went to. He’s even talking to Liam without stuttering or hating himself. It’s a new experience.
“I invited Josh, if that’s ok?” Liam says to everyone but Louis is too busy looking out for Harry and Niall is too busy downing his fourth pint.
“Who?” Zayn asks, vaguely recalling hearing Liam mention the name earlier.
“He’s new, started today in the shop. He’s really nice so far” Liam smiles and Zayn sometimes cannot handle how genuine Liam really is.
As if on cue, Harry’s head of curls can be seen emerging through the crowd and he has a smaller dark blonde guy tucked into his side.
“This is Josh” Harry announces with a smile too wide for Zayn’s liking. So instead he focuses on the new guy who is smiling shyly at everyone. Harry introduces him and Josh waves awkwardly at them each in turn. Zayn feels Niall tense up beside him and when he glances at him, he notices Niall’s cheeks are a fiery red colour.
“Hi Niall” Josh grins cheekily in Niall’s direction, giving everyone the impression that the two already know each other.
“I need a drink” Niall chokes, diving under the table and crawling out between their legs and towards the bar.
Zayn stares after him, keen to avoid the way Louis is looking up at Harry because it might possibly induce a stomach ulcer.
“Thanks for inviting me” Harry smiles down at Louis and Zayn swears his best friend has a heart attack.
“N-no problem” Since when did Louis Tomlinson stutter?
After another tequila shot on Zayn’s part, two more pints on Niall’s and three more Jägerbombs for Louis, the three of them are an absolute mess.
“I…. I can’t believe he works with Li now” Niall slurs, pointing his empty glass in Josh’s direction who is sitting with Harry and Liam like he already fits in.
“Who is he?” Louis asks, giggling despite Niall’s frown.
“I sucked his dick on St Patrick’s Day”
Zayn and Louis both squawk and Zayn nearly chokes on whatever saliva was left in his mouth. Niall liked girls. Or so they thought.
“I was drunk and horny and full of Irish cheer” Niall tries to explain when they both just stare at him in silence.
“So you sucked a guy’s dick?”
“I also fucked a girl that night?” Niall tries but Louis and Zayn just level him with what they hope is a stern look.
“Leave me alone, ok!” Niall begins to turn rosy, a sign that Zayn and Louis don’t take lightly.
“Ok but… it’s just kind of shocking” Zayn holds his hands up defensively.
Niall rolls his eyes, quickly ordering a new drink keen to avoid the subject. Josh starts to make his way towards the bar and Niall quickly finishes his pint, pushing past Josh whose mouth was forming the start of a question.
Everyone watches as Niall makes his way to the dance floor, grabbing a small brunette girl by the hips and swinging her towards the corner. Josh frowns but shakes his head, forcing a smile and offering to buy Zayn and Louis a drink.
“I’m going to kiss Harry” Louis announces when he finishes his shot, causing Josh and Zayn to splutter on their own. They can only stare helplessly after Louis as he shoves past people to find Harry who had made his way to the dance floor.
“Is everyone gay?” Josh laughs, eying Zayn who is staring at Liam playing with his nearly empty glass of Coke.
“Pretty much now that we know Niall sucked you off” Zayn says, blushing when he realises what he said. Thankfully Josh takes it lightly and laughs.
“I would ask you to dance but you seem pretty intent on Liam” Zayn hears Josh say from his side.
Zayn is intent on Liam. The way he sits on his own at the booth, not caring that he is alone and smiling at all the drunk people that pass him. The way he smiles is enough for Zayn, the crinkles at the side of his eyes causing Zayn’s heart to pang painfully.
“No. Let’s dance” he grumbles, grabbing Josh’s hand and leading him towards the dance floor.
Josh looks surprised but seems too drunk to care, pressing up against Zayn when Zayn drags him towards the middle of the floor. They stay like that for a few songs, just dancing. But once Zayn feels the alcohol and music coursing through him, he can’t help but look at Josh through hooded eyes. He is cute, small and blonde, but stocky. Quite like Niall.
Niall who is standing near them, rolling his hips against the brunette who is biting her lip and staring up at him hungrily. It makes Zayn’s stomach pool with heat and it gets worse when he sees how Josh is also staring at the dancing couple. Zayn, fuelled by alcohol and something akin to jealousy, rolls his own hips and if the music wasn’t so loud he would hear Josh gasp.
Before anything more can happen, a familiar flick of brown hair storms through the dance floor, a path moving out of the way for what only be described as the hurricane that is Louis. Zayn follows the path to where Louis had been and spots Harry kissing a man much older than him. With a sigh, he pinches Josh’s hip in apology and follows Louis off the dance floor.
He finds him slumped at the table beside a worried looking Liam.
“I’ll take him home” Zayn says, ignoring Liam’s sympathetic looks and grabs Louis by the waist, hauling him out to grab a taxi.
He is silent the whole way, just the odd whimper and burp, sometimes a drunken giggle but the air is thick. Zayn sobers up quicker than he would have liked when he practically drags Louis up the stairs and into the apartment.
“Why does nobody like me, Zayn?” Louis asks when Zayn takes his shoes off.
“I like you” Zayn mutters, trying not to let Louis’ soft tone break his heart.
“Yeah but you’re supposed to like me, you’re my best friend” Louis says against his elbow, lifting his hips so Zayn can take his jeans off for him.
“Loads of people like you, Louis, stop being dramatic” Zayn sighs, pulling the covers back on Louis bed and helping him under the blanket. Louis looks up at him with sad blue eyes. With a resigned sigh, Zayn rolls his eyes and joins him under the covers, kissing him until he falls asleep.
/
Zayn makes a pact with himself to never drink on a work day again. The fumes of the art shop nearly have him puking all over Dave’s wrinkled face when he walks in five minutes late.
He hates Louis for being so chipper, never affected by a hangover and basically skipping into work. He hates Louis for cockblocking him. Again. Even if it was from Josh who he doesn’t really have any interest in.
He definitely loses interest when he spots Niall staring at Josh handing out leaflets right outside Gina’s. The way he’s staring at him reminds Zayn of how he must stare at Liam. He groans and turns to his new empty canvas, staring at the paint lined up in front of him in confusion.
“Get it together Zayn, the person who bought the window piece is taking it home this evening so we need a new one asap” Dave calls from behind the register and Zayn feels like throwing a can of paint at him and storming out of the shop.
At lunch, Zayn and Louis eat silently at Gina’s. Nobody speaks. Niall doesn’t even crack a joke opting to glare at Josh instead. It’s weird not seeing Niall smile, it makes the atmosphere even more uneasy.
“Hey” Harry appears, dragging a chair across to sit with them and Louis’ eyes start to resemble the plate he is eating off and Zayn’s fingers start to itch for a cigarette.
It’s bad enough that he has the audacity to sit at their table, but he sits with the back of the chair in between his legs, balancing his chin on his hands and making himself look practically edible.
“Hungover?” Harry asks, filling the tense silence and staring at everyone individually with his stupid green eyes.
“You could say that” Zayn decides to answer since Louis has started drowning in his soup and Niall is nearly crying in his effort to glare at Josh.
“So where did you all go last night?” Harry asks, stirring his tea in a way that definitely annoys Zayn. Three times clockwise, three times anti-clockwise.
“I went back to some girl’s house” Niall mutters, sitting down with them and ignoring Gina who is looking over from behind the counter.
“So did I” Louis blurts out and both Zayn and Niall look at him with open mouths. Harry looks up from his mug and his expression is unreadable.
“I thought…”
“No, I mean I went back to some guy’s house” Louis adds and kicks Zayn under the table, hoping his friend will stop staring and cover for him.
Zayn refuses, now looking at Harry who is plastering a fake smile on his face. Or maybe it’s genuine and Zayn is just bitter.
“That’s... good for you I suppose. Liam walked me back to mine. Such a nice guy”
It’s official. Zayn hates Harry Styles.
/
grey
Grey is the colour Zayn has hope in. Everyone says it is dreary, boring, depressing. But Zayn likes it. He likes the way it brings out other colours, likes how it looks in the background. Without grey, nothing would be as vibrant.
So he tries to paint with grey but he feels hopeless. Harry is not only making a move on Louis, but it seems he’s got his massive hands wrapped around Liam’s heart now too. Niall seemed to have claimed Josh in a silent stare-off earlier. Zayn feels alone.
“Thanks so much for buying it, we’re trying to work on a new piece soon” Zayn hears Dave mutter from somewhere near the shop door. It must be the person collecting the piece. Zayn is curious so he puts the palette down to go have a look at who is.
He almost trips and falls on his face when he sees Liam hand over what looks like a fifty pound note and pick the canvas up with a large grin on his face.
Liam was the one who bought the piece. Zayn can just feel his heart break a little bit more. Or maybe swell. Either way, it hurts.
“This will look lovely on my sitting room wall” Liam grins at Dave, not yet noticing Zayn gaping at him. When he finally turns around and spots Zayn, he turns a light red colour and smiles shyly at him.
“You…. It was you?”
“Yep”
“Right”
Liam waits a fraction for Zayn to say something more. Zayn can only stare, lost for words and panicking inwardly.
“See you later, then” Liam waves with his hands tightly wrapped around the now covered canvas.
Zayn waves half-heartedly, sure that if he tries to speak he will either blurt out something embarrassing like ‘I love you, please love me back’ or make a noise resembling that of a zombie.
“Nice lad, him” Dave points in the direction of the door where Liam just left.
Zayn nods, still staring at the spot Liam was just standing in.
“I’m not paying you to get boners over other lads that work in this place, go paint” Dave snaps and Zayn blushes before rushing back to his easel.
/
When Zayn gets home later than usual after stabbing the canvas with his paintbrush, Louis and Niall are sprawled over the couch not even watching the television. He can tell because Jerry Springer is on and it’s a rule in their lives that Maury is the only chat show allowed.
Zayn pinches the bridge of his nose, lighting a cigarette before they start to talk.
“I’m depressed and Niall is having a sexual crisis” Louis announces when Zayn walks up behind the sofa. He rubs his fingers through Louis fringe which is sticking up in odd places and remains silent, taking a long drag of his smoke.
“Harry is my soul mate but he doesn’t notice me and Niall thinks he likes cock now” Louis continues in a voice that really makes Zayn want to crack open the bottle of vodka he has hidden in his room.
“Well, I’ve always appreciated cock but…”
“You want a specific cock. Josh’s cock” Louis finishes for him and Zayn watches Niall’s cheeks redden.
“It’s a little soon to assume he is your soul mate and Niall if you want Josh’s… cock… just ask him out”
Niall splutters and Louis sits up with anger shining in his eyes.
“Excuse me but I’m pretty sure soul mates know when-“
“I CAN’T JUST ASK HIM OUT ARE YA MAD?”
Zayn stands up from where he was perching on the sofa and raises his hands to silence them.
“You both need to grow a pair and just ask them out and stop fucking annoying me!”
Niall just splutters again while Louis’ eyes narrow.
“I could say the same to you”
Zayn tenses and he just puffs on his cigarette, meeting Louis’ eyes with angry ones of his own.
“I’ll just go now” Niall stands up, suddenly feeling awkward and out of place.
“I’ll come with you seeing as we’re annoying Zayn so much” Louis says briskly. He stands up without looking back at Zayn and storms out the door. Niall looks at Zayn hopelessly. Like the colour grey. Zayn just waves him off, walking into his own bedroom to flop down on his bed.
/
Louis comes stumbling in the door at 4am and if Zayn was awake waiting for him he was not going to admit to that. So he lies in bed pretending to be asleep, awaiting what is about to come.
“Zayn Malik!” he hears Louis shout from the hallway and Zayn can imagine him struggling to take his coat and shoes off. “I know you’re awake!”
Zayn runs his hands through his hair and makes a mental note to call Niall to make sure he got home safe from wherever they ended up.
Before long and unsurprisingly, Zayn’s bedroom door opens and Louis, only wearing his t-shirt and boxers, stands in the doorway glaring down at Zayn.
“Have a good night?” Zayn mumbles, lying on his back and resting his head on his arms.
“You’re rude” Louis slurs and folds his arms across his chest and Zayn spots several stains on his white t-shirt.
“You spilled your drinks” Zayn nods towards his chest and feels satisfied when Louis grimaces.
“What the fuck is your problem these days?” Louis snaps, moving towards the end of the bed so he can tower over Zayn even further.
“I don’t have one” Zayn answers, moving his feet out of the way before Louis can slap them.
“Yeah you do. Everyone notices, not just me”
Zayn bristles at that. He wants to know what they were saying. Who everyone is.
“It’s because of Harry isn’t it?” Louis pushes and Zayn feels anger coil in his stomach. He shakes his head and tries to keep the smirk on his face but he knows it faltered and Louis has him.
“Are you jealous?” Louis’ tone is softer now and Zayn doesn’t want that. He wants the anger, not the sympathy. So he resorts to it himself.
“Fuck you”
Louis’ eyes narrow but instead of retorting, he kneels up onto the bed and takes his shirt off.
“Fuck you, Louis” Zayn says again and his breath hitches when Louis moves up and wraps Zayn’s legs around his waist. He looks furious and he cocks an eyebrow, digging his nails into Zayn’s thigh.
“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck y-“ Louis cuts him off finally with a kiss. It’s more of a bite really, but Zayn got what he wanted. He ruts up against Louis and groans into his mouth, desperate now for him. Louis moves to his jaw, biting and licking it until he reaches Zayn’s collarbone tattoo. He kisses it tenderly and Zayn arches his back off the bed.
Louis pinches one of Zayn’s nipples and blows on it, licking it as he scratches his nails down Zayn’s abs until he reaches his boxers.
“Hips up”
Zayn complies and whimpers when Louis tugs his boxers off and throws them behind his shoulder. He licks where his nails left indents in Zayn’s thighs and Zayn is a panting mess by the time Louis finally gets his lips over the head of his dick.
Louis doesn’t move, he looks up at Zayn through his eyelashes and waits. There is anger in his eyes, anger and pity and love and Zayn huffs before grabbing a fistful of Louis’ hair and fucking into his mouth.
He hears Louis moan in approval and he does it over and over again until he comes with a loud shout down Louis’ throat.
He moves to take care of Louis but realises he has done it himself and slumps into Louis’ side.
“Fuck you, Zayn”
“Goodnight, Louis”
/
Zayn wakes up and pushes Louis off him, wrinkling his nose at the mess they left. With a jolt of guilt he remembers he was supposed to check on Niall and picks up his phone before rushing into the toilet for a piss.
After quickly washing himself he dials Niall’s number and startles when an unfamiliar voice answers.
“Who is this?” Zayn panics.
“It’s Josh” Josh whispers and Zayn feels a rush of emotions. Mostly joy for Niall.
“Niall slept at my house last night in case you’re wondering where he is” Josh continues in a hushed tone and Zayn smiles at the image of them lying beside each other.
He hangs up after telling Josh to make sure Niall gets home ok and turns back to his room to face Louis.
“Morning” Louis groans, wiping his eyes and wolf whistling at the naked Zayn.
“How’s the head?” Zayn asks cautiously, wondering if Louis remembers last night.
“Blank to be honest. Although I can see what we must have got up to” he laughs, looking at the state of Zayn’s bed and his own body.
Zayn doesn’t know whether to feel relieved or not, so he busies himself in the kitchen, making them both breakfast.
“Do we need to talk?” Louis comes up behind him, hooking his chin over Zayn’s shoulder and planting a kiss on his neck.
“I guess” Zayn mumbles, hands shaking as he stirs Louis’ tea and his own coffee.
They sit in their usual chairs at the table and look at each other expectantly.
“I guess I’ll start then?” Louis says and Zayn nods, sipping at his coffee even if it is much too hot.
“So, you’ve been moodier than usual lately” Louis says but in a careful tone, he knows how much Zayn hates being called moody. He hates it himself and usually jumps to Zayn’s defence if the word is thrown his way.
“You seem off with Harry and I don’t know why, everyone else likes him, and last night… you were just a bit of an asshole”
Zayn sighs and rubs his forehead. Louis is right and he cannot think of a perfect excuse for him.
“You’re right and I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m acting this way” Zayn decides a slight lie would be better than telling Louis how he really feels. Louis will get all… weird if Zayn tells him why he doesn’t like Harry. He won’t get it and Zayn refuses to lose Louis.
“I’m just confused over Liam is all” he offers which is not exactly a lie and Louis’ grimace proves that it worked.
“Just talk to him man, like talk talk, I’m nearly certain he is just as into you as you are with him”
Louis looks so sure it almost hurts Zayn that Louis doesn’t seem to care. He won’t mind losing Zayn to someone else. Zayn stops thinking that way because Louis is his best friend and they both want each other to be happy. They both deserve it.
“What’re you going to do about Harry?” Zayn asks, changing the subject.
“Oh nothing, he’s not into me. I’ll just move on” Louis smiles and his tone is dripping with forced happiness. It would be hopeless for Zayn to try and get anything else out of him; once he is like this there is no changing him.
“Ok, so what are we doing today?”
“How about we fix Niall’s life before our own?” Louis’ smile is wicked and Zayn returns the expression. Once they both get an idea like this there is no stopping them. So they hop in the shower, get changed and drive to Niall’s in less than half an hour.
/
“No”
Zayn and Louis look at each other before pushing past Niall and into his hallway.
“You stayed at his house last night, you have to tell us what happened”
“And I said no, get the fuck out” Niall grumbles but shuts the door after them anyway.
Zayn and Louis are giddy, happy that they ‘sorted’ everything out. Niall knows that they won’t leave him alone until he tells them. He pours water into the kettle before settling down onto his couch and shutting his eyes.
“I rang him when Louis disappeared in the club. I have no idea what I said but all I know is I ended up in his spare room, vomiting in his toilet”
Zayn and Louis let out simultaneous groans of sympathy and Niall waves his hands to shush them.
“And this morning he took tea and toast into me with Paracetemol and I think I’m in love”
Zayn and Louis stare at Niall who looks so pathetically upset and hungover that they can’t help but burst out laughing. Niall kicks out at them with his foot and sticks out his bottom lip. He looks adorable. Zayn and Louis jump off the armchair they were squished on and jump on top of him, smothering him in hugs and kisses.
“Gerroff me, you arseholes” Niall tries to sound angry but it ends in a giggle and a resigned sigh.
“So, you two are clearly up to no good, what’s going on?” he asks after they settle down again and Niall makes his and Louis’ tea and Zayn’s coffee.
“After this, you’re getting dressed and we are going around to Josh’s house where you will ask his hand in marriage” Louis announces and Zayn has to pat Niall’s back when he starts to choke on his biscuit.
“You are bizarre” Niall finally manages to say, looking at Zayn for backup. His face crumbles when Zayn returns his look with an evil grin.
“You two will be the death of me! No more free lunch at Gina’s”
He protests weakly for another ten minutes before getting up off the couch with a long string of curse words and mopes off to his bedroom.
“Wear those black skinny jeans you have, your arse looks unreal in them”
“Yeah and the white V-neck t-shirt you have”
“And your green snap back, obviously”
“And-“
“Guys, shut the fuck up, I’m nervous enough as it is” Niall snaps and Louis and Zayn stifle laughs, listening as Niall sprays something or other from his room. Probably overloading his hair with spray.
When he comes out, he twirls for them and they whistle and clap, causing him to turn a bright shade of red.
“Right, let’s get this shite over with then” he sighs, marching out the door, trusting them to lock up after him.
/
It all turns to shit when Liam answers the door.
Zayn nearly runs away, tripping into Niall who goes flying into Louis who ends up falling into Liam and sending him back into Josh. It’s all a bit of a mess, really.
“Hey guys, what’s going on?” Josh asks through a laugh as he steadies Liam.
Louis looks at Niall expectantly while Zayn stares at Liam who looks unfairly good. Louis is staring so intently at Niall that everyone’s eyes turn to the roaring red boy.
“I ummm… I wanted to say thanks for last night” Niall mumbles, looking down at his feet and Zayn nearly reaches over to pinch his hip in support.
“Come in” Josh says with a smile and Liam stands back to let them in. Zayn makes sure to keep his distance from Liam as he walks past, refusing to let himself even smell him.
Josh leads them into his small kitchen which looks like it has hardly been used. He explains that he only moved in recently and that Liam was here helping him to unpack.
“So, how are you guys this morning? Seems you had a rough night.” Josh asks Louis and Niall with amusement in his voice, blushing slightly when Niall catches his eye. Louis and Niall grumble incoherently in response, taking a seat at Josh’s kitchen table.
“Wow, what a lovely garden! Liam, why don’t you take me and Zayn on a tour of it?” Louis, always the subtle one, points out the window to Josh’s tiny garden. Zayn peers out at the high grass, small tree and shoddy garden shed and back to Louis in disbelief. Liam mirrors Zayn but Louis nudges them violently and Liam’s mouth forms a knowing ‘o’ shape.
“Right, yes, let me show you the wonderful plant in the corner” Liam stutters, ashamed of his lie and quickly leads them out the back door leaving the two boys behind.
“So subtle, Louis, excellent plan” Zayn deadpans as they hover beside the small tree crammed beside the shed. He takes out his cigarette box, opening and closing the lid in order to resist smoking in front of Liam.
“Well it seems to be working, asshole” Louis smirks nodding toward the kitchen where it looks like Josh has his hand tucked under Niall’s chin. Niall is gazing up at him like a puppy and Zayn can’t help the wide smile the sight induces.
“They make it look so easy” Liam mutters and looks embarrassed when Louis and Zayn turn to look at him. “I mean, you know it’s awfully hard to ask someone out or whatever. I think so, anyway.” he stammers and Zayn nods his head in stark agreement while Louis rolls his eyes at how oblivious they both are. They groan simultaneously when Josh leans down and kisses Niall who clutches at Josh’s hips eagerly.
“Well, that’s my cue to get out of here” Louis sighs and reaches over to stop Zayn fidgeting with his cigarette box. Liam bites his lip at the gesture and Louis frowns when he recognises jealousy in Liam’s eyes.
“Me too” Zayn mutters, giving in to the temptation and popping a cigarette between his lips. He calms down immediately at the taste and lights it, slowly inhaling and keeping the smoke in as long as he can. He opens his eyes and lets out the smoke, heating up when he catches Louis sniggering at him and Liam staring at his mouth.
“You’re like a pornstar when you smoke sometimes Zayn, now let’s go” Louis says and Liam tears his eyes off Zayn before walking back inside. Instead of trying to decipher what just happened he simply enjoys his smoke before stepping in after the two.
Josh and Niall don’t even bother to look up, what with Josh basically straddling Niall in the chair, and the three boys let themselves out with grumbles of disgust mixed with smiles of pride.
“About time that happened” Liam says as they walk up the path toward the nearest pub, the three of them thinking they deserve a drink after what they just saw. “Josh has been talking about him non-stop since he started working with me, it was getting quite annoying” Liam admits and seems ashamed that he said it, making Zayn fall in love just that little bit more.
“I know exactly how you feel” Louis sneers, looking at Zayn pointedly and Zayn shoots him daggers over Liam’s head who thankfully is too focused on not stepping on cracks in the path to notice.
They walk into the pub and order two pints and a glass of Coke and sit in silence, wrapped up in their own thoughts and jealousy.
/
brown
Brown used to be Zayn’s least favourite colour. It always made him feel…. dirty or depressed. Brown was murky, boring, ugly. It made him feel how it looked. He always avoided painting with it when he could.
But now he finds himself mixing brown and white paints, creating a tan colour that reminds him of his own skin. He’s discovered a new love for the colour. It’s in his tobacco, it looks good when Louis’ hair is blowing in all different directions in the wind, it’s all he can see in Liam’s eyes. So far he has counted three different shades of brown in Liam’s eyes. He thinks it might be his new favourite colour.
It’s how he finds himself in work four hours past closing time, tongue stuck between his lips and paint all over his clothes. He has been painting all day, finally finding inspiration in the brown paint on the palette and lost himself in it.
He jumps when he hears a cough behind him. It’s dark everywhere but his spot in the shop’s large supply room and he swears he is about to be murdered by a serial killer waiting in the shadows. That is until Liam makes himself known by leaning against the doorframe.
“How long have you been here?” Zayn says, quickly standing in front of the large canvas he had been painting on to cover it from sight.
Liam has an odd smile on his face, shy and reserved as always but mischievous at the same time. It makes Zayn’s stomach churn.
“Since I finished, I knew you were in here so I cleaned the sports shop for an hour, helped the janitor paint the bookshop door, that took another hour, went and got something to eat in the diner across the road, another hour aaand I’ve been here since then”
“Watching me?” Zayn’s mouth is dry as he realises just what he has been painting and there is absolutely no point trying to cover it up. So he stands like he does not care whether Liam has seen it or not but his effort is futile.
“Yeah. I know how creepy that makes me but… it’s kind of mesmerising” Liam laughs and turns a colour of red that would make Niall proud. Zayn cocks an eyebrow in question and tries to wet his lips and not panic.
“Watching you paint, I mean. You really enjoy it, don’t you?” It’s more of a statement than a question and Liam steps further towards the canvas with two large eyes painted right in the centre of it. “They’re lovely eyes” he comments and Zayn almost laughs at the irony.
“Yeah, they are” he says, watching Liam carefully study the detailed eyes that Zayn has spent this long trying to get down on paper.
It’s silent for a few minutes, Liam looking at the painting and Zayn looking at Liam. It’s almost nice, comfortable but Zayn can’t get rid of the feeling of pure desperation in his veins. He wants nothing more than to just grab Liam’s face and pull him into a crushing kiss or even to just tell him whose eyes they are, just to see how Liam would react. He feels his fingers start to itch and takes in a breath. He doesn’t know what he is going to do, but he has to do something.
This, of course, is when his phone decides to ring loudly and break the silence. Liam jumps and looks away from Zayn, his eyes bright with what Zayn refuses to think was anticipation.
Of course, it’s Louis.
Liam already saw his name flash up on the screen so it would be stupid to ignore the call.
“What?” Zayn snaps, irritated that for once he was about to make some kind of move on Liam and the moment was ruined.
“Jesus, what’s got your knickers in a twist?! Anyway, I don’t care really but I’m just letting you know that Josh is having a house warming party tonight and we’re going”
“I have not agreed to that yet” Zayn groans, aware of Liam’s eyes burning holes into his skin.
“Please. Also if you see Liam around, tell him too. See ya there in half an hour” and on that note, Louis hangs up.
Liam faces him with raised eyebrows and a knowing smile.
“Looks like we have a party to attend” he laughs, taking one last look at Zayn’s painting before exiting the shop.
Zayn sighs and follows him, already taking a cigarette out and planning Louis’ death as he locks up.
/
There are hoards of people around the house by the time Zayn and Liam arrive and it seems they are all drunk already. Well, at least Niall is. They can hear his laugh before they even reach the front door.
“Good luck” Liam mutters to Zayn sarcastically before opening the door and enveloping them in the noise of the party.
They first meet three very drunk and very pretty - but very handsy - girls in the hallway. One looks strangely like Josh and Zayn automatically pegs her as Josh’s sister. She hands him a red cup with a cheeky smirk and the smell of it nearly makes Zayn gag. Naturally, he downs whatever it is in one go and feels the alcohol churn in his stomach.
Liam helps him disentangle himself from maybe-Josh’s-sister and they walk into the kitchen. Niall is trying to reel everyone into a game of Kings and Louis is standing at the speakers like a mother hen, not letting anyone else near the iPod.
“ZAYN!” Louis shouts and waves over to him, grinning brightly over all the heads of the strangers in Josh’s kitchen. Zayn makes sure Liam is following him and they both make their way over to Louis who looks far from sober.
“I’ve been playing our favourite songs, about time you got here” Louis squeezes Zayn’s arm and Zayn’s stomach drops when he realises Louis is in one of these moods.
“I’m going to find Josh” Liam says when Louis starts trying to cuddle the unimpressed Zayn and Zayn fights the urge to beg Liam not to.
So he busies himself with drinking any drinks he can find, varying between light beers and strong tequila shots. All in all it takes him approximately 15 minutes to get drunk. A new record he thinks. And he starts to not care that Louis is clingy tonight and he clings right back.
That is until Harry arrives.
Zayn snorts when he realises Harry is wearing a brown shirt with a white t-shirt under it. Of course he would arrive in what Zayn had been considering his new favourite colour.
Louis perks up even more, drinking even more than he already was and positively drooling over Harry. He seems to have his hands deeply embedded in Harry’s curls from what Zayn can tell. It annoys him. Zayn’s quiff is excellent and that’s where everyone’s hands should be.
He sneaks outside for a cigarette, needing a moment to get away from everyone’s…. happiness.
He is enjoying the silence in the back garden (ignoring the couple leaning against the shed, half-way to having sex), gazing up at the stars, watching the way the smoke curls out of his mouth in interesting patterns. He wonders what colour every star he looks at is up-close.
His peace is ruined when he hears the door open and obnoxious laughter fills his ears.
“Can I have a smoke, Zayn?” he hears Harry’s too cheerful voice ask. He holds out his box of cigarettes without looking and feels the weight change as Harry takes a cigarette.
“Mad party isn’t it?” Harry tries for conversation and Zayn turns to him, eyes widening at the sight of a huge hickey decorating Harry’s pale neck.
“Oh! That, that was Louis” Harry laughs watching Zayn and idly pats the bruise with a hiss. “Niall decided a game of truth and dare was in order”.
Zayn pretends to laugh. Well, he lets a bit of air out of his nose but is certain that will suffice. He’s gasping for another drink, he needs to keep that feeling going, the bubbling in his stomach, or else he might leave in a fit of anger.
“Are you having a good time?” Harry asks and he seems so sincere and his stupid green eyes are wide and earnest. Zayn wants him to be an asshole, wants him to say something to warrant Zayn’s flippant attitude. So he shrugs and nods his head, stubbing his fag out on the wall.
“You sure? You seem off” Harry keeps talking and keeps gazing at Zayn like he actually cares about him. Why would he, Zayn thinks, why is he so damn nice?
“Just stop fucking about with my best mate” Zayn snaps and immediately regrets it, blaming it on the alcohol.
Harry’s eyebrows draw together in confusion as he stammers over what to say. He honestly seems so confused and Zayn feels like the world’s biggest asshole.
“Louis? I... I don’t know what I’ve done?!” Harry panics and if Zayn thought his eyes couldn’t get any bigger, then he was wrong.
“You haven’t. I don’t know what I’m saying, I’m drunk” Zayn grumbles and before Harry can speak again, Zayn makes his way back inside.
Niall and Josh are being more than friendly with each other right beside the fridge so Zayn can’t even get another beer. Louis is on the stairs telling a group of people some story that has them all roaring laughing and Liam is nowhere to be found. Zayn goes searching for more alcohol, making his way past the animated and red-faced Louis on the stairs.
He spots a red cup on the ground outside a slightly open door and picks it up with interest. It’s half full and he drinks whatever it is, pushing the door open fully to have a peek inside.
He wishes he hadn’t when he spots Liam cornering some short brunette guy in the corner practically eating his face off. It makes whatever mixture of alcohol that is floating in Zayn’s stomach want to come back up.
He runs. Past Louis on the stairs, past the confused looking Harry hovering at the bottom of the stairs and out the front door.
He slows down at the end of the road, feeling the urge to vomit and rests his hands on his knees to try and steady himself. The image of Liam kissing someone else has him reeling. That could have been him if he wasn’t such a pussy. If he had made that move in the shop today. It could be him.
“Zayn?” he hears a small voice from somewhere behind him and he grits his teeth.
“Leave me alone, Lou” he mutters, standing upright and staring at the stars again. They’re not as appealing as they were earlier.
He feels a hand slide up his back and grip his shoulder. A tiny hand. Louis’ hand.
“Let’s go home” Louis breathes and he looks as sad as Zayn feels and Zayn wonders how long they can do this for.
He must have said it out loud because Louis blanches.
“Do what?”
“This” Zayn shouts, pushing Louis gently away from him and gesturing between the two of them.
Louis looks confused and if he is swaying on his feet nobody addresses it.
“You’re just using me at this stage.”
That hits a nerve and Louis’ face flushes dark red with anger. Or maybe sadness.
“You’re lonely and you always need someone, you can’t just be you. And you’re using me. And I can’t stand it because now whenever we fuck you look at me like… like you’re disappointed it’s me and not someone else” Zayn’s voice cracks and he watches Louis’ eyes fill with tears. “I love you too much to have you looking at me like that.” He adds and looks away from Louis because he can’t take it when Louis’ eyes are anything but cheerful.
“You’re using me too, Zayn. It’s the exact same thing for me, stop acting the fucking victim. You look at me like you’re pretending I’m Liam! You don’t want me- just like everyone else” Louis spits out and Zayn knows without looking that his fists are clenched and he is ready for a proper fight.
“And I’m the victim? When are you ever going to get over what’s happened to you in the past and let yourself be happy? Or do you just love bearing down on me all the time and making me fix everything for you?”
Zayn wishes he never spoke. He doesn’t mean it but he’s angry, he is drunk and he’s sick of everything going wrong. He just wants everything to be the way it used to be. He looks at Louis now because he deserves to feel the pain in his chest when he sees the way Louis looks at him.
He looks so small. His face is blank but his eyes are wide and his lips are pursed like he is trying to stop them from wobbling. He looks like Zayn just punched him in the stomach.
“Can we go home now?” Louis whispers, looking away from Zayn and fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt. Zayn nods his head, unnerved that Louis didn’t retaliate. He tries to reach out and hold Louis’ hand but he shakes him off and they walk home in silence, feeling miles apart from each other.
/
It’s when Zayn shuts and locks the door that Louis cracks. He was expecting it though, ready to catch him before he fell to his knees in a sobbing wreck.
“I didn’t mean what I said, Louis, you know that” Zayn mutters into his hair as he clutches him into his chest. Louis is holding Zayn’s t-shirt like it’s a lifeline and Zayn feels his tears soak through right onto his skin.
“You’re right though, I do leave you to fix things, you’re always fixing me. I’m pathetic” Louis slurs and Zayn wants to shake Louis like a doll until he snaps out of it. Or even shake the alcohol out of him so Louis will stop feeling this way.
“You’re not pathetic, Louis, you’re just stuck in the past. You need to move on” Zayn comforts him, trying his best to stay upright with Louis becoming pliant in his arms.
Zayn starts to feel that anger in his veins that usually appears once Louis falls for someone. The first time it happened it was a guy in Louis’ drama class, Billy was his name. Zayn hated him from the start because he thought he was punk rock but Zayn could tell fake leather from a mile away and this guy was anything but punk. But he kept it to himself, seeing Louis happy was enough for him. Then Billy got too punk rock and had a threesome with two girls after one of his gigs and, of course, Louis walked in. Louis claimed he had loved him and would never love again after that.
And then Steve came along and everyone liked Steve. Even Zayn’s mother loved Steve. He was older than Louis by about five years and worked in the library and was kind and gentle and the opposite of Louis in many ways. Zayn chose not to like him because the way Louis was after Billy was enough to make him wary. Louis was really happy for about six months and had even considered moving in with the man. Even Zayn had started to warm to him because Louis really was in love. Until Steve’s ex turned up from his “holiday” to Australia and Steve remembered just how good it was with him and left a confused and miserable Louis in Zayn’s hands.
So for about a year, Louis was depressed and alone and every night he slept in Zayn’s bed. Even if Zayn was not at home, he would come back the following morning and find Louis curled around his pillow with evidence that he had cried himself to sleep. It nearly tore Zayn apart, but he decided one of them had to be strong and it would have to be him.
Which is why he hated Charlie the moment Louis dragged him in the door after a night out and introduced him to Zayn before fucking his brains out all night. Charlie was everything Zayn hated in a person; cocky, pompous and self-absorbed. He was everything Louis hated too, so Zayn always wondered why he was really fucking the kid. It made him even more confused when he had to console Louis for another six months after Charlie went off with Mark, who had worked in Gina’s with Niall.
Now Harry has made an appearance in Louis’ life and Zayn doesn’t know which of them is more scared.
“Let’s go to sleep, Lou” Zayn sighs, then ends up half-dragging Louis into his room.
“Maybe I should sleep on my own tonight” and Zayn heart lurches because although he and Louis do need to stop whatever it is they are doing, the thought of actually doing it… hurts. He looks up and Louis is standing at the end of his bed with red puffy eyes, playing with his t-shirt. He looks like a child.
“Ok” Zayn whispers but all he really wants to do is drag Louis under the covers with him and act like his shell.
“Goodnight, I love you”
“Love you more”
Louis half-smiles and walks out and into his own bedroom.
Zayn has to sleep with his pillow over his head so he doesn’t hear Louis crying. It’s useless and the two lie awake the whole night in their separate rooms.
Pairing: Liam/Zayn, Harry/Louis, Niall/Josh
Word Count: 24, 589
Warning(s): smut, bad language, alcohol use
Summary: au in which the boys (and josh) work in a shopping mall.
A/N: I want to thank my betas who kept gave me so much help and kept me sane as I wrote this. Enjoy.
Zayn pulls into the only empty space in the car park in a cloud of smoke. He considers asking his boss for a raise to buy a car that is older than his dad and will not have everyone in the area choking on fumes but he laughs at the thought.
After using all of his strength to wrestle the car door closed, he turns and looks up at the huge sign ‘Woodlands Shopping Centre’. Today it is sunny out and the rays bounce off the dreary sign and shine right in Zayn’s eyes. He is already late but he risks a cigarette before traipsing inside.
“You’re late” Dave, his boss, sighs when Zayn walks inside the art supply shop in his usual slump.
“Sorry” Zayn grumbles but he doesn’t mean it, Dave knows that and he snorts in Zayn’s direction.
“A shelf collapsed last night” Dave hands him a mop and smirks, cocking an eyebrow towards the back of the shop. Zayn grabs the mop and stalks over to where there is a colourful mess splattered all over the ground.
There is paint everywhere and he should be annoyed but he can’t help but stare at the colourful pattern on the ground and smile as he begins to clean it up.
red
Red is Louis, Zayn decides when he wrings out the mop and watches different shades of crimson float down the drain.
Because red reminds Zayn of passion, anger, intensity, love. Everything that also reminds him of Louis.
Louis is his best friend who works in the clothing shop on the opposite side of Zayn’s workplace on the second floor. He loves it but tries to act like he hates it. He loves it because he mostly works in the fitting rooms and secretly enjoys either perving on or judging every single person that comes in to try on clothes.
“You should’ve seen this girl this morning; she tried on that floral pink dress I was telling you about. So disgusting” he sneers as they both tuck into their lunch. They sit at their usual table against the window outside Gina’s Cafe. It has become a tradition in the past year of working together, everyone knows it is their table.
“You’re so gay” Zayn snorts into his soup and flinches when Louis flicks his nose.
“You’re one to talk. Have you seen what Liam is wearing today?” Louis comments, eyeing Zayn closely over the rim of his glass.
“What are you on about?” Zayn says but his cheeks start to colour and Louis smirks.
“Lads, you have to pay today, the boss is getting suspicious” Niall interrupts their conversation and Zayn could almost hug him. Louis is in a mischievous mood and the conversation would have taken an embarrassing turn for Zayn.
“Sure” Zayn grins and hands Niall the correct amount of cash, hoping that in paying for Louis’ lunch he will leave him alone.
When Gina steps out of the office, Niall runs back inside and behind the counter to put the cash in the register.
“I’ve to get back” Louis stands up “but trust me, Liam’s trousers are tight as hell” he adds before grinning madly at Zayn and skipping back over to the clothes shop.
Zayn groans and waves inside the window at Niall before leaving the empty bowls and glasses on the table and returning back to work himself.
He walks the long way around, so as to avoid walking past the sports shop Liam works in. He knows he will end up staying there for more than his lunch break allows, probably staring at Liam’s arse if Louis is in any way right.
He returns to his mopping, having got rid of most of the spillage but Dave wants the floor absolutely spotless.
green
Green reminds Zayn of Niall. It’s stereotypical but it might be because he is Irish. Or maybe because Gina’s Café is painted green. It could also do with the fact that Niall’s head is almost always covered with a green snapback with his name on it. Something which Zayn thought at first was pretentious but once he saw Niall smile he knew the boy was far from it.
Green is natural, carefree, refreshing. That’s what Niall is. He’s real and Zayn cannot think of anyone he loves spending time with more. If you need to sit in silence, Niall will gladly sit there with you, no awkwardness, he’s just there. If you need a laugh, Niall’s jokes are corny but the way he laughs at himself will make you laugh even harder. And if you need a drink; Niall is definitely the one to turn to.
“So, have you seen Liam today?”
Zayn gapes at his friend who is focusing too hard on cleaning a table, avoiding Zayn’s stare.
“You’ve been spending too much time with Louis” he sighs and catches Niall’s cheeky smile.
“I’m just curious! He was asking about you earlier” Niall says and his grin is brighter than the fluorescent lights of the shopping centre.
“What was he saying?” Zayn can’t help but ask and groans when he thinks of how Louis would react if he was here.
“Just asking if you were working today because he hadn’t seen you” Niall shrugs but he looks smug so Zayn hits him a thump in the arm.
“Do you ever work?” Niall asks, looking over Zayn’s shoulder to where Dave must be glaring in Zayn’s direction.
“It’s boring” Zayn answers simply but Dave’s eyes are boring into him so he sighs before exiting the café with a complimentary mint melting on his tongue.
“You’re pushing your luck, Malik” Dave warns when Zayn walks past him to fix the shelf. Zayn shrugs, ignoring the older man and getting to work.
He strolls into the supply room to get new paint to put on the shelf, taking note of what colours are nearly out that he’ll need to order.
He ignores a customer in order to put the paint back on the shelf and sniggers when Dave shoots him daggers and walks over to deal with her himself.
purple
Purple is Harry. Because Zayn’s not quite sure how he feels about purple. And he’s not quite sure what he thinks of Harry.
Harry is new and Zayn always finds new shades of purple, no matter how much he works at painting. Harry is wild and so is violet. But Harry makes him smile. It’s hard not to smile when Harry Styles is around. Lilac makes Zayn smile because it is his mother’s favourite colour. He also makes him jealous. Jealousy is a murky raspberry colour in Zayn’s mind and that’s what Harry’s colour is.
Because before Harry, Louis was Zayn’s and Zayn’s alone. He hates himself for thinking it because Louis was never his technically. But he liked to know that Louis was only happy with him and that makes him selfish and a bad person but he can’t help it.
It’s hard not to want to be the only one who has Louis’ attention.
“Harry’s dimple is weird” Louis comments when Zayn finally yanks open the passenger door for him and they clamber inside.
“What?” Zayn snaps because he is tired and not in the mood for Louis to be coy.
“Well it is” Louis grumbles, looking over at Zayn who is frowning and grumpy.
“Whatever” Zayn rolls down the window and lights a fag.
“Jesus what the fuck is your problem?” Louis mutters and Zayn’s heart lurches guiltily because he knows he is being irrational.
So he drives them home and kisses Louis the moment they walk inside their flat and fucks him minutes later so he doesn’t have to hear about Harry again.
/
“I’m thinking of buying a record player” Louis says when Zayn appears in the morning, still half asleep and mumbling about pulling a sickie.
“I think it would be a nice addition to our lavish sitting room” Louis continues when Zayn pours himself a mug of coffee.
“Lavish” Zayn repeats, thinking about the old sofa, easel and tiny television which is all their sitting room compiles of.
“Yeah, then we can buy records every now and again” Louis sighs.
Zayn’s mind may be sleep deprived but he puts two and two together.
“You just want to buy stuff off Harry” he points his mug accusingly at Louis who tries his best to act surprised but fails.
“Yeah… I know” he sighs dramatically and flops against the chair.
Zayn pushes his jealousy aside. “Just talk to him for god sake”.
“What?! Are you mad? He’ll laugh at me for being so… I don’t even know him… what if… no” Louis panics and if Zayn wasn’t so tired, he would laugh at how adorable Louis can be sometimes.
“Stop being a pussy”
“You talk to Liam then” Louis challenges, glad of the subject change but the blush remains on his cheeks.
“I do”
“Hello and goodbye don’t count”
“Whatever”
“You’re late”
“Whatever”
/
“You’re late”
It is becoming a mantra and Zayn almost asks Dave why he hasn’t fired him yet. Instead he takes the paintbrush Dave holds out to him.
“We need a new piece for the window” Dave says and Zayn bites down on a pleased smile. His last piece must have been sold.
He gladly rushes over to the acrylic section and picks out a medley of colours, thousands of ideas rushing through his head.
When he paints, he is in his element. Especially when he has a great idea. But now, he spends hours idly brushing at the white canvas without any inspiration.
“Am I interrupting?” he hears a voice from behind him and its warm and smiling and Zayn shivers before turning around.
Liam is standing there with a sandwich in his hand and a bottle of Coke in the other.
“Niall sent me over with food because apparently you missed lunch” he adds when Zayn doesn’t speak.
“Oh, thanks” Zayn grumbles and panics about how he looks; he must be covered in paint. He puts down the pallet and brush and takes the plate of food, not realising how hungry he was until just now.
“That’s good” Liam points at the canvas, eyes jumping when Zayn’s fingers brush off his own.
“It’s… nothing. I don’t even know what it is” Zayn says, embarrassed at his own work and the way Liam is smiling at it like it is something.
“I’m sure you’ll turn it into something, I always like your work” Liam says, turning a bright shade of red and Zayn swears his heart explodes.
“Anyway, I better go back to work. I have a new kid starting that I have to help. Josh something?” Liam mumbles and starts backing out of the shop, lips curved into an awkward smile that Zayn can’t help but return.
After his late lunch the door swings open again and Zayn groans when he hears a sassy comment or two regarding the smell of the shop.
“I thought it was your day off” Zayn says, cursing when his hand shakes, causing a streak of blue to dart across the canvas.
“I was bored at home”
“So you came to work”
“This is not work, this is your work”
“Yes, where I am actually working- go annoy someone else”
He turns around and Louis is staring at him. He looks like he has dressed up and looks… shy. It puts Zayn on edge.
“Why do you look nice?”
Louis snorts and plays with a button on his denim shirt, making a funny face at Zayn.
“I’m taking your advice”
“My advice?”
“I’m going to talk to Harry Styles today” Louis announces like he is stating he’s going to try and break a world record.
Zayn turns back to his painting before Louis can read his expression. But apparently his body language is enough.
“Jesus, Zayn you are easier to read than GQ magazine! What’s your problem with Harry?”
Zayn bristles. He doesn’t have a problem with Harry. He doesn’t. At least he doesn’t want to have one.
“I don’t have a problem with Harry” he answers, trying to relax his shoulders and focus on the painting.
“Then what is it?” Louis’ voice softens and Zayn hates himself because of the way that makes him feel.
“Nothing, I’m just annoyed with this painting it all”
His lie is a weak one and he hears Louis sigh before he exits the shop, leaving Zayn in a thick silence.
/
blue
Blue is sadness.
Zayn paints over the whole canvas and his day’s work in a dark blue, almost navy colour. He covers everything. He nearly covers himself in it.
He is sad because he is confused. He wants Liam. He is pretty sure everyone in the entire world apart from Liam knows it. But he doesn’t want to give Louis up. He and Louis are best friends. They fuck sometimes. He loves Louis more than anyone but he doesn’t want to share him.
It’s wrong. It’s frustrating. It’s sad.
Louis should be happy, Louis deserves to be happy. But the last time Louis fell in love, Zayn spent four long months with Louis tucked into his neck every night, crying most of the time until they both fell asleep. After that, Zayn was the only person who made Louis truly happy and Zayn convinced himself it was always going to be that way.
When he walks out of the shop and starts to lock up, he has to deal with the fact that that might have to change. Louis’ laugh can be heard from the first floor and once Zayn locks the door he walks over to the railing and peeps down.
Harry is walking out of the music shop he recently started working in and Louis is following him like a puppy. They’re both laughing and it’s hard for Zayn not to smile at the sight. It’s cute.
“See you around?” Louis asks, biting on his lip nervously and Zayn can’t make out what Harry says but it must be good because Louis lights up. He glows beautifully like that.
Zayn sighs, prepping himself for a giddy Louis and makes his way out to the car where he knows the older boy will be waiting for him.
Louis is silent in the car which surprises Zayn but he is jumping around and singing along with whatever is on the radio.
“I heard you were talking to Liam today”
“I saw you talking to Harry today”
Louis grins at him and Zayn has to return it.
“Let’s go out tonight” Louis announces, grabbing his phone, probably to text whoever is in his contacts about whatever plan he has in store.
/
Maybe it’s the three shots of tequila but Zayn finds himself comfortably wedged between Liam and Niall in a booth in the club they all went to. He’s even talking to Liam without stuttering or hating himself. It’s a new experience.
“I invited Josh, if that’s ok?” Liam says to everyone but Louis is too busy looking out for Harry and Niall is too busy downing his fourth pint.
“Who?” Zayn asks, vaguely recalling hearing Liam mention the name earlier.
“He’s new, started today in the shop. He’s really nice so far” Liam smiles and Zayn sometimes cannot handle how genuine Liam really is.
As if on cue, Harry’s head of curls can be seen emerging through the crowd and he has a smaller dark blonde guy tucked into his side.
“This is Josh” Harry announces with a smile too wide for Zayn’s liking. So instead he focuses on the new guy who is smiling shyly at everyone. Harry introduces him and Josh waves awkwardly at them each in turn. Zayn feels Niall tense up beside him and when he glances at him, he notices Niall’s cheeks are a fiery red colour.
“Hi Niall” Josh grins cheekily in Niall’s direction, giving everyone the impression that the two already know each other.
“I need a drink” Niall chokes, diving under the table and crawling out between their legs and towards the bar.
Zayn stares after him, keen to avoid the way Louis is looking up at Harry because it might possibly induce a stomach ulcer.
“Thanks for inviting me” Harry smiles down at Louis and Zayn swears his best friend has a heart attack.
“N-no problem” Since when did Louis Tomlinson stutter?
After another tequila shot on Zayn’s part, two more pints on Niall’s and three more Jägerbombs for Louis, the three of them are an absolute mess.
“I…. I can’t believe he works with Li now” Niall slurs, pointing his empty glass in Josh’s direction who is sitting with Harry and Liam like he already fits in.
“Who is he?” Louis asks, giggling despite Niall’s frown.
“I sucked his dick on St Patrick’s Day”
Zayn and Louis both squawk and Zayn nearly chokes on whatever saliva was left in his mouth. Niall liked girls. Or so they thought.
“I was drunk and horny and full of Irish cheer” Niall tries to explain when they both just stare at him in silence.
“So you sucked a guy’s dick?”
“I also fucked a girl that night?” Niall tries but Louis and Zayn just level him with what they hope is a stern look.
“Leave me alone, ok!” Niall begins to turn rosy, a sign that Zayn and Louis don’t take lightly.
“Ok but… it’s just kind of shocking” Zayn holds his hands up defensively.
Niall rolls his eyes, quickly ordering a new drink keen to avoid the subject. Josh starts to make his way towards the bar and Niall quickly finishes his pint, pushing past Josh whose mouth was forming the start of a question.
Everyone watches as Niall makes his way to the dance floor, grabbing a small brunette girl by the hips and swinging her towards the corner. Josh frowns but shakes his head, forcing a smile and offering to buy Zayn and Louis a drink.
“I’m going to kiss Harry” Louis announces when he finishes his shot, causing Josh and Zayn to splutter on their own. They can only stare helplessly after Louis as he shoves past people to find Harry who had made his way to the dance floor.
“Is everyone gay?” Josh laughs, eying Zayn who is staring at Liam playing with his nearly empty glass of Coke.
“Pretty much now that we know Niall sucked you off” Zayn says, blushing when he realises what he said. Thankfully Josh takes it lightly and laughs.
“I would ask you to dance but you seem pretty intent on Liam” Zayn hears Josh say from his side.
Zayn is intent on Liam. The way he sits on his own at the booth, not caring that he is alone and smiling at all the drunk people that pass him. The way he smiles is enough for Zayn, the crinkles at the side of his eyes causing Zayn’s heart to pang painfully.
“No. Let’s dance” he grumbles, grabbing Josh’s hand and leading him towards the dance floor.
Josh looks surprised but seems too drunk to care, pressing up against Zayn when Zayn drags him towards the middle of the floor. They stay like that for a few songs, just dancing. But once Zayn feels the alcohol and music coursing through him, he can’t help but look at Josh through hooded eyes. He is cute, small and blonde, but stocky. Quite like Niall.
Niall who is standing near them, rolling his hips against the brunette who is biting her lip and staring up at him hungrily. It makes Zayn’s stomach pool with heat and it gets worse when he sees how Josh is also staring at the dancing couple. Zayn, fuelled by alcohol and something akin to jealousy, rolls his own hips and if the music wasn’t so loud he would hear Josh gasp.
Before anything more can happen, a familiar flick of brown hair storms through the dance floor, a path moving out of the way for what only be described as the hurricane that is Louis. Zayn follows the path to where Louis had been and spots Harry kissing a man much older than him. With a sigh, he pinches Josh’s hip in apology and follows Louis off the dance floor.
He finds him slumped at the table beside a worried looking Liam.
“I’ll take him home” Zayn says, ignoring Liam’s sympathetic looks and grabs Louis by the waist, hauling him out to grab a taxi.
He is silent the whole way, just the odd whimper and burp, sometimes a drunken giggle but the air is thick. Zayn sobers up quicker than he would have liked when he practically drags Louis up the stairs and into the apartment.
“Why does nobody like me, Zayn?” Louis asks when Zayn takes his shoes off.
“I like you” Zayn mutters, trying not to let Louis’ soft tone break his heart.
“Yeah but you’re supposed to like me, you’re my best friend” Louis says against his elbow, lifting his hips so Zayn can take his jeans off for him.
“Loads of people like you, Louis, stop being dramatic” Zayn sighs, pulling the covers back on Louis bed and helping him under the blanket. Louis looks up at him with sad blue eyes. With a resigned sigh, Zayn rolls his eyes and joins him under the covers, kissing him until he falls asleep.
/
Zayn makes a pact with himself to never drink on a work day again. The fumes of the art shop nearly have him puking all over Dave’s wrinkled face when he walks in five minutes late.
He hates Louis for being so chipper, never affected by a hangover and basically skipping into work. He hates Louis for cockblocking him. Again. Even if it was from Josh who he doesn’t really have any interest in.
He definitely loses interest when he spots Niall staring at Josh handing out leaflets right outside Gina’s. The way he’s staring at him reminds Zayn of how he must stare at Liam. He groans and turns to his new empty canvas, staring at the paint lined up in front of him in confusion.
“Get it together Zayn, the person who bought the window piece is taking it home this evening so we need a new one asap” Dave calls from behind the register and Zayn feels like throwing a can of paint at him and storming out of the shop.
At lunch, Zayn and Louis eat silently at Gina’s. Nobody speaks. Niall doesn’t even crack a joke opting to glare at Josh instead. It’s weird not seeing Niall smile, it makes the atmosphere even more uneasy.
“Hey” Harry appears, dragging a chair across to sit with them and Louis’ eyes start to resemble the plate he is eating off and Zayn’s fingers start to itch for a cigarette.
It’s bad enough that he has the audacity to sit at their table, but he sits with the back of the chair in between his legs, balancing his chin on his hands and making himself look practically edible.
“Hungover?” Harry asks, filling the tense silence and staring at everyone individually with his stupid green eyes.
“You could say that” Zayn decides to answer since Louis has started drowning in his soup and Niall is nearly crying in his effort to glare at Josh.
“So where did you all go last night?” Harry asks, stirring his tea in a way that definitely annoys Zayn. Three times clockwise, three times anti-clockwise.
“I went back to some girl’s house” Niall mutters, sitting down with them and ignoring Gina who is looking over from behind the counter.
“So did I” Louis blurts out and both Zayn and Niall look at him with open mouths. Harry looks up from his mug and his expression is unreadable.
“I thought…”
“No, I mean I went back to some guy’s house” Louis adds and kicks Zayn under the table, hoping his friend will stop staring and cover for him.
Zayn refuses, now looking at Harry who is plastering a fake smile on his face. Or maybe it’s genuine and Zayn is just bitter.
“That’s... good for you I suppose. Liam walked me back to mine. Such a nice guy”
It’s official. Zayn hates Harry Styles.
/
grey
Grey is the colour Zayn has hope in. Everyone says it is dreary, boring, depressing. But Zayn likes it. He likes the way it brings out other colours, likes how it looks in the background. Without grey, nothing would be as vibrant.
So he tries to paint with grey but he feels hopeless. Harry is not only making a move on Louis, but it seems he’s got his massive hands wrapped around Liam’s heart now too. Niall seemed to have claimed Josh in a silent stare-off earlier. Zayn feels alone.
“Thanks so much for buying it, we’re trying to work on a new piece soon” Zayn hears Dave mutter from somewhere near the shop door. It must be the person collecting the piece. Zayn is curious so he puts the palette down to go have a look at who is.
He almost trips and falls on his face when he sees Liam hand over what looks like a fifty pound note and pick the canvas up with a large grin on his face.
Liam was the one who bought the piece. Zayn can just feel his heart break a little bit more. Or maybe swell. Either way, it hurts.
“This will look lovely on my sitting room wall” Liam grins at Dave, not yet noticing Zayn gaping at him. When he finally turns around and spots Zayn, he turns a light red colour and smiles shyly at him.
“You…. It was you?”
“Yep”
“Right”
Liam waits a fraction for Zayn to say something more. Zayn can only stare, lost for words and panicking inwardly.
“See you later, then” Liam waves with his hands tightly wrapped around the now covered canvas.
Zayn waves half-heartedly, sure that if he tries to speak he will either blurt out something embarrassing like ‘I love you, please love me back’ or make a noise resembling that of a zombie.
“Nice lad, him” Dave points in the direction of the door where Liam just left.
Zayn nods, still staring at the spot Liam was just standing in.
“I’m not paying you to get boners over other lads that work in this place, go paint” Dave snaps and Zayn blushes before rushing back to his easel.
/
When Zayn gets home later than usual after stabbing the canvas with his paintbrush, Louis and Niall are sprawled over the couch not even watching the television. He can tell because Jerry Springer is on and it’s a rule in their lives that Maury is the only chat show allowed.
Zayn pinches the bridge of his nose, lighting a cigarette before they start to talk.
“I’m depressed and Niall is having a sexual crisis” Louis announces when Zayn walks up behind the sofa. He rubs his fingers through Louis fringe which is sticking up in odd places and remains silent, taking a long drag of his smoke.
“Harry is my soul mate but he doesn’t notice me and Niall thinks he likes cock now” Louis continues in a voice that really makes Zayn want to crack open the bottle of vodka he has hidden in his room.
“Well, I’ve always appreciated cock but…”
“You want a specific cock. Josh’s cock” Louis finishes for him and Zayn watches Niall’s cheeks redden.
“It’s a little soon to assume he is your soul mate and Niall if you want Josh’s… cock… just ask him out”
Niall splutters and Louis sits up with anger shining in his eyes.
“Excuse me but I’m pretty sure soul mates know when-“
“I CAN’T JUST ASK HIM OUT ARE YA MAD?”
Zayn stands up from where he was perching on the sofa and raises his hands to silence them.
“You both need to grow a pair and just ask them out and stop fucking annoying me!”
Niall just splutters again while Louis’ eyes narrow.
“I could say the same to you”
Zayn tenses and he just puffs on his cigarette, meeting Louis’ eyes with angry ones of his own.
“I’ll just go now” Niall stands up, suddenly feeling awkward and out of place.
“I’ll come with you seeing as we’re annoying Zayn so much” Louis says briskly. He stands up without looking back at Zayn and storms out the door. Niall looks at Zayn hopelessly. Like the colour grey. Zayn just waves him off, walking into his own bedroom to flop down on his bed.
/
Louis comes stumbling in the door at 4am and if Zayn was awake waiting for him he was not going to admit to that. So he lies in bed pretending to be asleep, awaiting what is about to come.
“Zayn Malik!” he hears Louis shout from the hallway and Zayn can imagine him struggling to take his coat and shoes off. “I know you’re awake!”
Zayn runs his hands through his hair and makes a mental note to call Niall to make sure he got home safe from wherever they ended up.
Before long and unsurprisingly, Zayn’s bedroom door opens and Louis, only wearing his t-shirt and boxers, stands in the doorway glaring down at Zayn.
“Have a good night?” Zayn mumbles, lying on his back and resting his head on his arms.
“You’re rude” Louis slurs and folds his arms across his chest and Zayn spots several stains on his white t-shirt.
“You spilled your drinks” Zayn nods towards his chest and feels satisfied when Louis grimaces.
“What the fuck is your problem these days?” Louis snaps, moving towards the end of the bed so he can tower over Zayn even further.
“I don’t have one” Zayn answers, moving his feet out of the way before Louis can slap them.
“Yeah you do. Everyone notices, not just me”
Zayn bristles at that. He wants to know what they were saying. Who everyone is.
“It’s because of Harry isn’t it?” Louis pushes and Zayn feels anger coil in his stomach. He shakes his head and tries to keep the smirk on his face but he knows it faltered and Louis has him.
“Are you jealous?” Louis’ tone is softer now and Zayn doesn’t want that. He wants the anger, not the sympathy. So he resorts to it himself.
“Fuck you”
Louis’ eyes narrow but instead of retorting, he kneels up onto the bed and takes his shirt off.
“Fuck you, Louis” Zayn says again and his breath hitches when Louis moves up and wraps Zayn’s legs around his waist. He looks furious and he cocks an eyebrow, digging his nails into Zayn’s thigh.
“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck y-“ Louis cuts him off finally with a kiss. It’s more of a bite really, but Zayn got what he wanted. He ruts up against Louis and groans into his mouth, desperate now for him. Louis moves to his jaw, biting and licking it until he reaches Zayn’s collarbone tattoo. He kisses it tenderly and Zayn arches his back off the bed.
Louis pinches one of Zayn’s nipples and blows on it, licking it as he scratches his nails down Zayn’s abs until he reaches his boxers.
“Hips up”
Zayn complies and whimpers when Louis tugs his boxers off and throws them behind his shoulder. He licks where his nails left indents in Zayn’s thighs and Zayn is a panting mess by the time Louis finally gets his lips over the head of his dick.
Louis doesn’t move, he looks up at Zayn through his eyelashes and waits. There is anger in his eyes, anger and pity and love and Zayn huffs before grabbing a fistful of Louis’ hair and fucking into his mouth.
He hears Louis moan in approval and he does it over and over again until he comes with a loud shout down Louis’ throat.
He moves to take care of Louis but realises he has done it himself and slumps into Louis’ side.
“Fuck you, Zayn”
“Goodnight, Louis”
/
Zayn wakes up and pushes Louis off him, wrinkling his nose at the mess they left. With a jolt of guilt he remembers he was supposed to check on Niall and picks up his phone before rushing into the toilet for a piss.
After quickly washing himself he dials Niall’s number and startles when an unfamiliar voice answers.
“Who is this?” Zayn panics.
“It’s Josh” Josh whispers and Zayn feels a rush of emotions. Mostly joy for Niall.
“Niall slept at my house last night in case you’re wondering where he is” Josh continues in a hushed tone and Zayn smiles at the image of them lying beside each other.
He hangs up after telling Josh to make sure Niall gets home ok and turns back to his room to face Louis.
“Morning” Louis groans, wiping his eyes and wolf whistling at the naked Zayn.
“How’s the head?” Zayn asks cautiously, wondering if Louis remembers last night.
“Blank to be honest. Although I can see what we must have got up to” he laughs, looking at the state of Zayn’s bed and his own body.
Zayn doesn’t know whether to feel relieved or not, so he busies himself in the kitchen, making them both breakfast.
“Do we need to talk?” Louis comes up behind him, hooking his chin over Zayn’s shoulder and planting a kiss on his neck.
“I guess” Zayn mumbles, hands shaking as he stirs Louis’ tea and his own coffee.
They sit in their usual chairs at the table and look at each other expectantly.
“I guess I’ll start then?” Louis says and Zayn nods, sipping at his coffee even if it is much too hot.
“So, you’ve been moodier than usual lately” Louis says but in a careful tone, he knows how much Zayn hates being called moody. He hates it himself and usually jumps to Zayn’s defence if the word is thrown his way.
“You seem off with Harry and I don’t know why, everyone else likes him, and last night… you were just a bit of an asshole”
Zayn sighs and rubs his forehead. Louis is right and he cannot think of a perfect excuse for him.
“You’re right and I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m acting this way” Zayn decides a slight lie would be better than telling Louis how he really feels. Louis will get all… weird if Zayn tells him why he doesn’t like Harry. He won’t get it and Zayn refuses to lose Louis.
“I’m just confused over Liam is all” he offers which is not exactly a lie and Louis’ grimace proves that it worked.
“Just talk to him man, like talk talk, I’m nearly certain he is just as into you as you are with him”
Louis looks so sure it almost hurts Zayn that Louis doesn’t seem to care. He won’t mind losing Zayn to someone else. Zayn stops thinking that way because Louis is his best friend and they both want each other to be happy. They both deserve it.
“What’re you going to do about Harry?” Zayn asks, changing the subject.
“Oh nothing, he’s not into me. I’ll just move on” Louis smiles and his tone is dripping with forced happiness. It would be hopeless for Zayn to try and get anything else out of him; once he is like this there is no changing him.
“Ok, so what are we doing today?”
“How about we fix Niall’s life before our own?” Louis’ smile is wicked and Zayn returns the expression. Once they both get an idea like this there is no stopping them. So they hop in the shower, get changed and drive to Niall’s in less than half an hour.
/
“No”
Zayn and Louis look at each other before pushing past Niall and into his hallway.
“You stayed at his house last night, you have to tell us what happened”
“And I said no, get the fuck out” Niall grumbles but shuts the door after them anyway.
Zayn and Louis are giddy, happy that they ‘sorted’ everything out. Niall knows that they won’t leave him alone until he tells them. He pours water into the kettle before settling down onto his couch and shutting his eyes.
“I rang him when Louis disappeared in the club. I have no idea what I said but all I know is I ended up in his spare room, vomiting in his toilet”
Zayn and Louis let out simultaneous groans of sympathy and Niall waves his hands to shush them.
“And this morning he took tea and toast into me with Paracetemol and I think I’m in love”
Zayn and Louis stare at Niall who looks so pathetically upset and hungover that they can’t help but burst out laughing. Niall kicks out at them with his foot and sticks out his bottom lip. He looks adorable. Zayn and Louis jump off the armchair they were squished on and jump on top of him, smothering him in hugs and kisses.
“Gerroff me, you arseholes” Niall tries to sound angry but it ends in a giggle and a resigned sigh.
“So, you two are clearly up to no good, what’s going on?” he asks after they settle down again and Niall makes his and Louis’ tea and Zayn’s coffee.
“After this, you’re getting dressed and we are going around to Josh’s house where you will ask his hand in marriage” Louis announces and Zayn has to pat Niall’s back when he starts to choke on his biscuit.
“You are bizarre” Niall finally manages to say, looking at Zayn for backup. His face crumbles when Zayn returns his look with an evil grin.
“You two will be the death of me! No more free lunch at Gina’s”
He protests weakly for another ten minutes before getting up off the couch with a long string of curse words and mopes off to his bedroom.
“Wear those black skinny jeans you have, your arse looks unreal in them”
“Yeah and the white V-neck t-shirt you have”
“And your green snap back, obviously”
“And-“
“Guys, shut the fuck up, I’m nervous enough as it is” Niall snaps and Louis and Zayn stifle laughs, listening as Niall sprays something or other from his room. Probably overloading his hair with spray.
When he comes out, he twirls for them and they whistle and clap, causing him to turn a bright shade of red.
“Right, let’s get this shite over with then” he sighs, marching out the door, trusting them to lock up after him.
/
It all turns to shit when Liam answers the door.
Zayn nearly runs away, tripping into Niall who goes flying into Louis who ends up falling into Liam and sending him back into Josh. It’s all a bit of a mess, really.
“Hey guys, what’s going on?” Josh asks through a laugh as he steadies Liam.
Louis looks at Niall expectantly while Zayn stares at Liam who looks unfairly good. Louis is staring so intently at Niall that everyone’s eyes turn to the roaring red boy.
“I ummm… I wanted to say thanks for last night” Niall mumbles, looking down at his feet and Zayn nearly reaches over to pinch his hip in support.
“Come in” Josh says with a smile and Liam stands back to let them in. Zayn makes sure to keep his distance from Liam as he walks past, refusing to let himself even smell him.
Josh leads them into his small kitchen which looks like it has hardly been used. He explains that he only moved in recently and that Liam was here helping him to unpack.
“So, how are you guys this morning? Seems you had a rough night.” Josh asks Louis and Niall with amusement in his voice, blushing slightly when Niall catches his eye. Louis and Niall grumble incoherently in response, taking a seat at Josh’s kitchen table.
“Wow, what a lovely garden! Liam, why don’t you take me and Zayn on a tour of it?” Louis, always the subtle one, points out the window to Josh’s tiny garden. Zayn peers out at the high grass, small tree and shoddy garden shed and back to Louis in disbelief. Liam mirrors Zayn but Louis nudges them violently and Liam’s mouth forms a knowing ‘o’ shape.
“Right, yes, let me show you the wonderful plant in the corner” Liam stutters, ashamed of his lie and quickly leads them out the back door leaving the two boys behind.
“So subtle, Louis, excellent plan” Zayn deadpans as they hover beside the small tree crammed beside the shed. He takes out his cigarette box, opening and closing the lid in order to resist smoking in front of Liam.
“Well it seems to be working, asshole” Louis smirks nodding toward the kitchen where it looks like Josh has his hand tucked under Niall’s chin. Niall is gazing up at him like a puppy and Zayn can’t help the wide smile the sight induces.
“They make it look so easy” Liam mutters and looks embarrassed when Louis and Zayn turn to look at him. “I mean, you know it’s awfully hard to ask someone out or whatever. I think so, anyway.” he stammers and Zayn nods his head in stark agreement while Louis rolls his eyes at how oblivious they both are. They groan simultaneously when Josh leans down and kisses Niall who clutches at Josh’s hips eagerly.
“Well, that’s my cue to get out of here” Louis sighs and reaches over to stop Zayn fidgeting with his cigarette box. Liam bites his lip at the gesture and Louis frowns when he recognises jealousy in Liam’s eyes.
“Me too” Zayn mutters, giving in to the temptation and popping a cigarette between his lips. He calms down immediately at the taste and lights it, slowly inhaling and keeping the smoke in as long as he can. He opens his eyes and lets out the smoke, heating up when he catches Louis sniggering at him and Liam staring at his mouth.
“You’re like a pornstar when you smoke sometimes Zayn, now let’s go” Louis says and Liam tears his eyes off Zayn before walking back inside. Instead of trying to decipher what just happened he simply enjoys his smoke before stepping in after the two.
Josh and Niall don’t even bother to look up, what with Josh basically straddling Niall in the chair, and the three boys let themselves out with grumbles of disgust mixed with smiles of pride.
“About time that happened” Liam says as they walk up the path toward the nearest pub, the three of them thinking they deserve a drink after what they just saw. “Josh has been talking about him non-stop since he started working with me, it was getting quite annoying” Liam admits and seems ashamed that he said it, making Zayn fall in love just that little bit more.
“I know exactly how you feel” Louis sneers, looking at Zayn pointedly and Zayn shoots him daggers over Liam’s head who thankfully is too focused on not stepping on cracks in the path to notice.
They walk into the pub and order two pints and a glass of Coke and sit in silence, wrapped up in their own thoughts and jealousy.
/
brown
Brown used to be Zayn’s least favourite colour. It always made him feel…. dirty or depressed. Brown was murky, boring, ugly. It made him feel how it looked. He always avoided painting with it when he could.
But now he finds himself mixing brown and white paints, creating a tan colour that reminds him of his own skin. He’s discovered a new love for the colour. It’s in his tobacco, it looks good when Louis’ hair is blowing in all different directions in the wind, it’s all he can see in Liam’s eyes. So far he has counted three different shades of brown in Liam’s eyes. He thinks it might be his new favourite colour.
It’s how he finds himself in work four hours past closing time, tongue stuck between his lips and paint all over his clothes. He has been painting all day, finally finding inspiration in the brown paint on the palette and lost himself in it.
He jumps when he hears a cough behind him. It’s dark everywhere but his spot in the shop’s large supply room and he swears he is about to be murdered by a serial killer waiting in the shadows. That is until Liam makes himself known by leaning against the doorframe.
“How long have you been here?” Zayn says, quickly standing in front of the large canvas he had been painting on to cover it from sight.
Liam has an odd smile on his face, shy and reserved as always but mischievous at the same time. It makes Zayn’s stomach churn.
“Since I finished, I knew you were in here so I cleaned the sports shop for an hour, helped the janitor paint the bookshop door, that took another hour, went and got something to eat in the diner across the road, another hour aaand I’ve been here since then”
“Watching me?” Zayn’s mouth is dry as he realises just what he has been painting and there is absolutely no point trying to cover it up. So he stands like he does not care whether Liam has seen it or not but his effort is futile.
“Yeah. I know how creepy that makes me but… it’s kind of mesmerising” Liam laughs and turns a colour of red that would make Niall proud. Zayn cocks an eyebrow in question and tries to wet his lips and not panic.
“Watching you paint, I mean. You really enjoy it, don’t you?” It’s more of a statement than a question and Liam steps further towards the canvas with two large eyes painted right in the centre of it. “They’re lovely eyes” he comments and Zayn almost laughs at the irony.
“Yeah, they are” he says, watching Liam carefully study the detailed eyes that Zayn has spent this long trying to get down on paper.
It’s silent for a few minutes, Liam looking at the painting and Zayn looking at Liam. It’s almost nice, comfortable but Zayn can’t get rid of the feeling of pure desperation in his veins. He wants nothing more than to just grab Liam’s face and pull him into a crushing kiss or even to just tell him whose eyes they are, just to see how Liam would react. He feels his fingers start to itch and takes in a breath. He doesn’t know what he is going to do, but he has to do something.
This, of course, is when his phone decides to ring loudly and break the silence. Liam jumps and looks away from Zayn, his eyes bright with what Zayn refuses to think was anticipation.
Of course, it’s Louis.
Liam already saw his name flash up on the screen so it would be stupid to ignore the call.
“What?” Zayn snaps, irritated that for once he was about to make some kind of move on Liam and the moment was ruined.
“Jesus, what’s got your knickers in a twist?! Anyway, I don’t care really but I’m just letting you know that Josh is having a house warming party tonight and we’re going”
“I have not agreed to that yet” Zayn groans, aware of Liam’s eyes burning holes into his skin.
“Please. Also if you see Liam around, tell him too. See ya there in half an hour” and on that note, Louis hangs up.
Liam faces him with raised eyebrows and a knowing smile.
“Looks like we have a party to attend” he laughs, taking one last look at Zayn’s painting before exiting the shop.
Zayn sighs and follows him, already taking a cigarette out and planning Louis’ death as he locks up.
/
There are hoards of people around the house by the time Zayn and Liam arrive and it seems they are all drunk already. Well, at least Niall is. They can hear his laugh before they even reach the front door.
“Good luck” Liam mutters to Zayn sarcastically before opening the door and enveloping them in the noise of the party.
They first meet three very drunk and very pretty - but very handsy - girls in the hallway. One looks strangely like Josh and Zayn automatically pegs her as Josh’s sister. She hands him a red cup with a cheeky smirk and the smell of it nearly makes Zayn gag. Naturally, he downs whatever it is in one go and feels the alcohol churn in his stomach.
Liam helps him disentangle himself from maybe-Josh’s-sister and they walk into the kitchen. Niall is trying to reel everyone into a game of Kings and Louis is standing at the speakers like a mother hen, not letting anyone else near the iPod.
“ZAYN!” Louis shouts and waves over to him, grinning brightly over all the heads of the strangers in Josh’s kitchen. Zayn makes sure Liam is following him and they both make their way over to Louis who looks far from sober.
“I’ve been playing our favourite songs, about time you got here” Louis squeezes Zayn’s arm and Zayn’s stomach drops when he realises Louis is in one of these moods.
“I’m going to find Josh” Liam says when Louis starts trying to cuddle the unimpressed Zayn and Zayn fights the urge to beg Liam not to.
So he busies himself with drinking any drinks he can find, varying between light beers and strong tequila shots. All in all it takes him approximately 15 minutes to get drunk. A new record he thinks. And he starts to not care that Louis is clingy tonight and he clings right back.
That is until Harry arrives.
Zayn snorts when he realises Harry is wearing a brown shirt with a white t-shirt under it. Of course he would arrive in what Zayn had been considering his new favourite colour.
Louis perks up even more, drinking even more than he already was and positively drooling over Harry. He seems to have his hands deeply embedded in Harry’s curls from what Zayn can tell. It annoys him. Zayn’s quiff is excellent and that’s where everyone’s hands should be.
He sneaks outside for a cigarette, needing a moment to get away from everyone’s…. happiness.
He is enjoying the silence in the back garden (ignoring the couple leaning against the shed, half-way to having sex), gazing up at the stars, watching the way the smoke curls out of his mouth in interesting patterns. He wonders what colour every star he looks at is up-close.
His peace is ruined when he hears the door open and obnoxious laughter fills his ears.
“Can I have a smoke, Zayn?” he hears Harry’s too cheerful voice ask. He holds out his box of cigarettes without looking and feels the weight change as Harry takes a cigarette.
“Mad party isn’t it?” Harry tries for conversation and Zayn turns to him, eyes widening at the sight of a huge hickey decorating Harry’s pale neck.
“Oh! That, that was Louis” Harry laughs watching Zayn and idly pats the bruise with a hiss. “Niall decided a game of truth and dare was in order”.
Zayn pretends to laugh. Well, he lets a bit of air out of his nose but is certain that will suffice. He’s gasping for another drink, he needs to keep that feeling going, the bubbling in his stomach, or else he might leave in a fit of anger.
“Are you having a good time?” Harry asks and he seems so sincere and his stupid green eyes are wide and earnest. Zayn wants him to be an asshole, wants him to say something to warrant Zayn’s flippant attitude. So he shrugs and nods his head, stubbing his fag out on the wall.
“You sure? You seem off” Harry keeps talking and keeps gazing at Zayn like he actually cares about him. Why would he, Zayn thinks, why is he so damn nice?
“Just stop fucking about with my best mate” Zayn snaps and immediately regrets it, blaming it on the alcohol.
Harry’s eyebrows draw together in confusion as he stammers over what to say. He honestly seems so confused and Zayn feels like the world’s biggest asshole.
“Louis? I... I don’t know what I’ve done?!” Harry panics and if Zayn thought his eyes couldn’t get any bigger, then he was wrong.
“You haven’t. I don’t know what I’m saying, I’m drunk” Zayn grumbles and before Harry can speak again, Zayn makes his way back inside.
Niall and Josh are being more than friendly with each other right beside the fridge so Zayn can’t even get another beer. Louis is on the stairs telling a group of people some story that has them all roaring laughing and Liam is nowhere to be found. Zayn goes searching for more alcohol, making his way past the animated and red-faced Louis on the stairs.
He spots a red cup on the ground outside a slightly open door and picks it up with interest. It’s half full and he drinks whatever it is, pushing the door open fully to have a peek inside.
He wishes he hadn’t when he spots Liam cornering some short brunette guy in the corner practically eating his face off. It makes whatever mixture of alcohol that is floating in Zayn’s stomach want to come back up.
He runs. Past Louis on the stairs, past the confused looking Harry hovering at the bottom of the stairs and out the front door.
He slows down at the end of the road, feeling the urge to vomit and rests his hands on his knees to try and steady himself. The image of Liam kissing someone else has him reeling. That could have been him if he wasn’t such a pussy. If he had made that move in the shop today. It could be him.
“Zayn?” he hears a small voice from somewhere behind him and he grits his teeth.
“Leave me alone, Lou” he mutters, standing upright and staring at the stars again. They’re not as appealing as they were earlier.
He feels a hand slide up his back and grip his shoulder. A tiny hand. Louis’ hand.
“Let’s go home” Louis breathes and he looks as sad as Zayn feels and Zayn wonders how long they can do this for.
He must have said it out loud because Louis blanches.
“Do what?”
“This” Zayn shouts, pushing Louis gently away from him and gesturing between the two of them.
Louis looks confused and if he is swaying on his feet nobody addresses it.
“You’re just using me at this stage.”
That hits a nerve and Louis’ face flushes dark red with anger. Or maybe sadness.
“You’re lonely and you always need someone, you can’t just be you. And you’re using me. And I can’t stand it because now whenever we fuck you look at me like… like you’re disappointed it’s me and not someone else” Zayn’s voice cracks and he watches Louis’ eyes fill with tears. “I love you too much to have you looking at me like that.” He adds and looks away from Louis because he can’t take it when Louis’ eyes are anything but cheerful.
“You’re using me too, Zayn. It’s the exact same thing for me, stop acting the fucking victim. You look at me like you’re pretending I’m Liam! You don’t want me- just like everyone else” Louis spits out and Zayn knows without looking that his fists are clenched and he is ready for a proper fight.
“And I’m the victim? When are you ever going to get over what’s happened to you in the past and let yourself be happy? Or do you just love bearing down on me all the time and making me fix everything for you?”
Zayn wishes he never spoke. He doesn’t mean it but he’s angry, he is drunk and he’s sick of everything going wrong. He just wants everything to be the way it used to be. He looks at Louis now because he deserves to feel the pain in his chest when he sees the way Louis looks at him.
He looks so small. His face is blank but his eyes are wide and his lips are pursed like he is trying to stop them from wobbling. He looks like Zayn just punched him in the stomach.
“Can we go home now?” Louis whispers, looking away from Zayn and fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt. Zayn nods his head, unnerved that Louis didn’t retaliate. He tries to reach out and hold Louis’ hand but he shakes him off and they walk home in silence, feeling miles apart from each other.
/
It’s when Zayn shuts and locks the door that Louis cracks. He was expecting it though, ready to catch him before he fell to his knees in a sobbing wreck.
“I didn’t mean what I said, Louis, you know that” Zayn mutters into his hair as he clutches him into his chest. Louis is holding Zayn’s t-shirt like it’s a lifeline and Zayn feels his tears soak through right onto his skin.
“You’re right though, I do leave you to fix things, you’re always fixing me. I’m pathetic” Louis slurs and Zayn wants to shake Louis like a doll until he snaps out of it. Or even shake the alcohol out of him so Louis will stop feeling this way.
“You’re not pathetic, Louis, you’re just stuck in the past. You need to move on” Zayn comforts him, trying his best to stay upright with Louis becoming pliant in his arms.
Zayn starts to feel that anger in his veins that usually appears once Louis falls for someone. The first time it happened it was a guy in Louis’ drama class, Billy was his name. Zayn hated him from the start because he thought he was punk rock but Zayn could tell fake leather from a mile away and this guy was anything but punk. But he kept it to himself, seeing Louis happy was enough for him. Then Billy got too punk rock and had a threesome with two girls after one of his gigs and, of course, Louis walked in. Louis claimed he had loved him and would never love again after that.
And then Steve came along and everyone liked Steve. Even Zayn’s mother loved Steve. He was older than Louis by about five years and worked in the library and was kind and gentle and the opposite of Louis in many ways. Zayn chose not to like him because the way Louis was after Billy was enough to make him wary. Louis was really happy for about six months and had even considered moving in with the man. Even Zayn had started to warm to him because Louis really was in love. Until Steve’s ex turned up from his “holiday” to Australia and Steve remembered just how good it was with him and left a confused and miserable Louis in Zayn’s hands.
So for about a year, Louis was depressed and alone and every night he slept in Zayn’s bed. Even if Zayn was not at home, he would come back the following morning and find Louis curled around his pillow with evidence that he had cried himself to sleep. It nearly tore Zayn apart, but he decided one of them had to be strong and it would have to be him.
Which is why he hated Charlie the moment Louis dragged him in the door after a night out and introduced him to Zayn before fucking his brains out all night. Charlie was everything Zayn hated in a person; cocky, pompous and self-absorbed. He was everything Louis hated too, so Zayn always wondered why he was really fucking the kid. It made him even more confused when he had to console Louis for another six months after Charlie went off with Mark, who had worked in Gina’s with Niall.
Now Harry has made an appearance in Louis’ life and Zayn doesn’t know which of them is more scared.
“Let’s go to sleep, Lou” Zayn sighs, then ends up half-dragging Louis into his room.
“Maybe I should sleep on my own tonight” and Zayn heart lurches because although he and Louis do need to stop whatever it is they are doing, the thought of actually doing it… hurts. He looks up and Louis is standing at the end of his bed with red puffy eyes, playing with his t-shirt. He looks like a child.
“Ok” Zayn whispers but all he really wants to do is drag Louis under the covers with him and act like his shell.
“Goodnight, I love you”
“Love you more”
Louis half-smiles and walks out and into his own bedroom.
Zayn has to sleep with his pillow over his head so he doesn’t hear Louis crying. It’s useless and the two lie awake the whole night in their separate rooms.