Nerves
I had an audition today to try out for a classical guitar class. I always do horribly at audition and today was no exception. I have a bad case of nerves and my hands shake in auditions which is very bad if you play an instrument where you specifically need agility with your fingers, not unlike the guitar or clarinet. So anyways, I had to audition. The audition criteria was to play a piece that I think best shows my abilities, so naturally I was nervous at what I should play. To tell the truth nothing I know how to play is all that...well...impressive. I hear a song I like and I learn how to play it so I can sing to it as well, so naturally most of what I know is just a bunch of chords. I mean, how impressive would it be if I sat down in front of a classical guitar player busted out my pick and started strumming....boring right?
Anyways, so I picked a song ("I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab For Cutie) and learned how to hand pick the song(I had already mastered strumming to the song because I wanted to sing as well). Got it to the point where I'd make mistakes but over all it wasn't too shabby. So I woke up this morning nervous and my nerves only got worse the closer I got to where I was going to play. The guy was really nice and liked that fact that I could read music already but wow...I did so bad... My hands shook so bad that I couldn't even form the chords correctly, and thats the easiest part, the part I wasn't worried about. And I'm not even one of those people who are nervous, start play and then get better. Ohhh no. I get worse. SO I kinda just stopped when he said ok. He asked if I usually sing to it and I said yes, but while I strum. He told me to go ahead and play it that way and I did, and I did it much better. He asked if I knew anything with a melody and of course I drew a complete blank. I still dont know if I know anything with a melody. So thats when he asked me about reading music and I explain that I have a bad habit of getting really nervous and that I really can play the hand picking part and all this bullshit that I'm sure was mummbled because I had to stop talking because if I didn't stop I knew I would start crying. He told me I wa sthe best he;d seen so far but he had only seen 2 people before me and had about 5 more after to see. He also told me that he would only take 1 or 2 people from today's audition because he held one last week and accepted alot of people and he can only have so many(what happened was that he wasn't sent the entire roster last week so he couldn't email everyone about last weeks audition). And I couldn't help it...I started crying, not sobbing, just made the screwed up face against my will and had the tears. It made putting up my guitar and leaving as quickly as possible very difficult. Not only that but I rubbed my eyes to get the tears out while trying to put my stuff up and both contacts fell out. So I had to shakily put in my contacts as quickly as I could while apologizing to the instructor while he said it was ok. I knew he felt awkward and I just wanted to get the hell out of there. It was bad.
The reason I cry or get upset after auditions is because I never ever do as well as I know I can do. Its just upsetting. So anyways, he said he'd email us at 12, which is about 7 minutes from now to announce who made it. I don't want to look.
Anyways, so I picked a song ("I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab For Cutie) and learned how to hand pick the song(I had already mastered strumming to the song because I wanted to sing as well). Got it to the point where I'd make mistakes but over all it wasn't too shabby. So I woke up this morning nervous and my nerves only got worse the closer I got to where I was going to play. The guy was really nice and liked that fact that I could read music already but wow...I did so bad... My hands shook so bad that I couldn't even form the chords correctly, and thats the easiest part, the part I wasn't worried about. And I'm not even one of those people who are nervous, start play and then get better. Ohhh no. I get worse. SO I kinda just stopped when he said ok. He asked if I usually sing to it and I said yes, but while I strum. He told me to go ahead and play it that way and I did, and I did it much better. He asked if I knew anything with a melody and of course I drew a complete blank. I still dont know if I know anything with a melody. So thats when he asked me about reading music and I explain that I have a bad habit of getting really nervous and that I really can play the hand picking part and all this bullshit that I'm sure was mummbled because I had to stop talking because if I didn't stop I knew I would start crying. He told me I wa sthe best he;d seen so far but he had only seen 2 people before me and had about 5 more after to see. He also told me that he would only take 1 or 2 people from today's audition because he held one last week and accepted alot of people and he can only have so many(what happened was that he wasn't sent the entire roster last week so he couldn't email everyone about last weeks audition). And I couldn't help it...I started crying, not sobbing, just made the screwed up face against my will and had the tears. It made putting up my guitar and leaving as quickly as possible very difficult. Not only that but I rubbed my eyes to get the tears out while trying to put my stuff up and both contacts fell out. So I had to shakily put in my contacts as quickly as I could while apologizing to the instructor while he said it was ok. I knew he felt awkward and I just wanted to get the hell out of there. It was bad.
The reason I cry or get upset after auditions is because I never ever do as well as I know I can do. Its just upsetting. So anyways, he said he'd email us at 12, which is about 7 minutes from now to announce who made it. I don't want to look.