Sweet Valley High #83: Steven's Bride

[daniellafromage]

Look at that title. Steven's Bride. Really, have two words ever sounded more terrifying? This book should have been recapped in the build-up to Halloween.

Cover.Cara looks like my cousin. She's pretty, although those loose strands of hair are bugging the shiz out of me. Steven looks like a Ken doll. Appropriate, considering Sweet Vallians are

Comments

[lovetogoss]

another marvelous recap!
this bit, in particular, made me crack up.
1. Tear out the final few pages of the book;
2. Watch this video in its place;
3. Drink heavily;
4. Sob into my pillow because I WILL NEVER FIND SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME ENOUGH TO BREACH INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT SECURITY FOR ME;
5. Repeat stages 2-4 until blind drunk;
6. DANIELLAFROMAGE SMASH;
7. ???
8. PROFIT.

oh MAN....
i also highly enjoyed liz's FANCIFUL thought.

[daniellafromage]

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. All things considered, it was one of the more decent books. :)

[leah1878]

Ha, Steven does look like a Ken doll. Cara looks just like Billie, same loose hair even~ http://www.biblio.com/details.php?dcx=59408258&aid=frg

No wonder Steven's always being haunted by past girlfriends if they all look alike. Billie, Cara, Tricia, Lila... Date a blond sometime Steven! You are in California.

[daniellafromage]

He only dates brunettes and redheads! MAYBE HE SHOULD HAVE HOOKED UP WITH CRAZY MARGO.

[redacted]

He can't do that, because then she'd inevitably look just like his sisters.

[esc_key]

"Steven's Bride" makes me think of Bride of Dracula or something. They couldn't have called it "Steven's Getting Married" or "Steven's Wife?" Also, I love that he thought Tricia "left" him. Like she chose to die a horrible, painful death. It's all about you, Steven.

If I ever meet that special someone (who will both jump racist secret society pits and whisper sweet nothings like "promenade at yonder posh party"), I definitely want Lila and her fun negligees to come to my wedding party. We can play the SVH board game!

Liz makes him feel guilty with her passive-aggressive staring. I have the biggest guilt-complex in the world and I know that I couldn't last two minutes in the same room with Liz without stabbing her in the face. I don't know how Jessica manages it.
Have we considered the notion that Jessica might have been driven to her sociopathic lack of emotion because of Liz's barrettes and sanctimony?

[daniellafromage]

Would you let Lila play as Lila, though?

[esc_key]

No. She'd have to spread the awesome around. She gets to be Lila 365 days a year; it's only fair she let someone else have a turn (me).

[dirtywingsgirl]

Have we considered the notion that Jessica might have been driven to her sociopathic lack of emotion because of Liz's barrettes and sanctimony?

Hey, that makes sense. Maybe she just can't be bothered even trying to be nice anymore, since Liz will just swoop in and be even nicer and fix some lives and save some homeless people and put her to shame.

[versipellis]

Nice recap! Especially the SMASH part XD

Don't start hanging out with Voldemort, Jess!

fdjksfskjdaio I kind of really want to see this now. Is that bad?

[daniellafromage]

Admitted: she would kind of rock the Dark Mark.

[shytecmessa]

Unicorns=Death Eaters. Janet Howell=Lord Voldemort (she's hiding in Albania in SVH). Amy Sutton = Barty Crouch Jr.

[daniellafromage]

Lila = Bellatrix, hobvs. This also means that she'd probably torture John Pfeifer to death, which would be no bad thing!

I'm kind of upset about Jessica being Wormtail, though. D:

[shiningstar55]

So wait- I never read this one- he was actually going to get married?

[daniellafromage]

That's about the gist of it, yes!