Recap: SVHSY # 15 On My Own
The SVH drama continues with this riveting installment in the series with # 15 titled "On My Own" detailing the saga of Jessica and Evan and Andy's aversion to Six Hanson.
Brief recap of the events of the last novel.
Tia and Angel = splitsville. Tia made out with Trent at a Big Mesa party after feeling neglected by Angel and then he catches her with Trent and they broke up.
Melissa and Will are now a two-headed monster of annoying.
Artist rendering of the monster.
Jessica met Evan and fled from him at the Riot after being invited to dance at the Riot. Andy met Six and she tried to make-out with him on top of a mountain. Oh yeah, and Liz has a job now at a make-up store called Sedona, so discount Sephora... because the ghostwriters are lazy.
So here we go:
We'll just break the plots down by couple and or characters.
Jessica & Evan:
Jessica ran away from Evan at the Riot the night before. She's feeling guilty about it or something. But she's struggling because he's a grunge god or something like that. Really, I'm sure she's most annoyed by his diatribes on like, everything. Seriously, the ghostwriters are playing the bleeding heart, tree-hugging hippie thing to death with this character. This is coming from a fellow bleeding heart liberal.
At lunch, after trying to avoid the two headed monster called WillandMelissa. Jess joins the girls for lunch. When she gets to the table, everybody is whispering in a hushed voice, which Jessica takes to mean they're talking about her, but then she sees Tia crying and Liz tells her that it's not always about her and it's back to the Tia and Angel break up. Tia waxes and moans about how sad she is. Jess asks her if she's planning on getting together with Trent and Tia says no. The topic of conversation shifts to Evan and Jessica's partial dance at the Riot. The girls crack a bunch of CInderella jokes and then Maria tells Jessica that Evan is not her type. Speciffically, he's "too grungy and unpopular" for her. Jessica is offended by this, but then Liz asks her if she can name one of her former boyfriends who wasn't a super handsome football player-y type. Jessica says Jeremy is the least superficial person she knows, but Tia reminds her that Jeremy is the captain of the Big Mesa football team and Jess goes "But he's so sweet and kind and blah, blah, blah" (not a direct quote). Maria then says he looks like a Tommy Hilfiger model. Then, after much back and forth about Evan and how Jessica is okay as long as she doesn't have to be seen in public with him (ala the Riot), Jessica decides she's going to ask Evan out and she's not going to date a jock! Liz reminds her that Evan is a swimmer, which annoys her.
Later, Jessica stalks Evan at his car. She takes in his traditional hippie/grunge/Kurt Cobain outfit with disdain (he's wearing Birkenstocks, eww!). She gets a flash of Will in her head and is super determined to make this work with Evan. When he sees her, she apologizing for running out on him in the middle of a dance. Evan delivers the best line of the whole book "It was just a dance. I wasn't proposing marriage or anything." Jessica asks him out by saying "well, since you're not traumatized, you wanna try again?" After some really stupid bantering about yoga and Jess having cab fare, they agree to meet the next night at 6 p.m.
On their date, Evan takes Jessica to his favorite restaurant "The Garden of Eatin'" No joke, that is really the name of this restaurant. They serve basically vegetarian, uber health food. They order, then they talk about a movie they went to see. Jessica likes the movie, and particularly, the female lead. Evan agrees with her and this leads into a dicussion on feminism and Evan is a feminist and he seemed surprised that Jessica would consider herself one, since she's a cheerleader and all. This leads into a discussion of jocks and how Evan is so enlightened that he calls himself an "athlete." I just can't... seriously. I want to punch Evan so hard in the face right at this moment, showing off his moral superiority. It's quite annoying.
Jessica is apparently turned on by this moral superiority that the next day at school, she must get to school twenty minutes earlier as pointed out by Elizabeth. Jessica retorts that she (Elizabeth) was the one that "herded her out the door." Liz explains it's the only time she'll get to see Conner today until lunch. Then Elizabeth makes the brilliant observation that Jessica was hoping to, I guess, "accidentally" bump into Evan convieniently since his locker is next to Conner's. When Jessica sees Evan, he is looking dapper and handsome and not at all grungy. They hold hands (aww). Evan has a swim meet that afternoon. There is some Conner and Liz banter that I won't get into here. Evan asks Jessica if she's going to be "too busy doing cartwheels this afternoon." Jess just says yes, even though she wants to tell him they do more than cartwheels. But she says she'll cheer for him psychically. Then, the two headed monster, MelissaandWill rears it's ugly head. She panics when she thinks the monster is talking about her and she runs away from Evan for the second time.
Later, after Jess runs away, Evan and Conner get to talking and he tells Conner he went out with Jessica the night before and Conner's all like "ya, Liz told me." Then the boys are all "OMG, bra, we're dating twins." (My words, not ghostwriter's). Andy comes up and they banter about his life for a bit. Cut to later that day, Jessica has spotted Will, sans Melissa. She' s trying to act all nonchalant like she's over him. Will comes up to her and says he saw her with Evan and he's happy for him and blah, blah, opposites, blah, blah, blah. Then Jess is all "you think you're better than Evan?" Will's all "whatever" and walks off leaving Jessica fuming.
At lunch, Jess and Liz are sitting together and Jess is ranting about her close encounter with the Will kind. After some back and forth, Liz comes out and tells Jessica that she's clearly not over Will. Then Jessica says "uh, what now? I don't think so. I hate Will!" Liz counters with "then why have you spent the last ten minutes talking about him?" Tia and Maria join them and the scene ends.
Later, Jessica, Jade, Tia and the rest of the cheerleaders are standing in front of Coach Laufield's door in a daze. Cheerleading practice is cancelled because Laufield had to go to the doctor or something like that. Tia suggests working out anyways. But Cherie Reese and Gina Cho (Melissa's minions) are like "Fuck no, practice is cancelled, let's boot." They ask their fearless leader, Melissa what she wants to do and she suggests the mall. Melissa is a huge bitch and is playing her bitchy mind games. She tells the minions (girl posse) "There's a sweater I was thinking of getting for Will. I'd love to have your opinion, Lila. You have such good taste in clothes." Lila is all, yeah, sure whatevs.
With that, they leave, and Jade, Jessica, Tia and Annie are all trying to figure out what to do. Jess says there is an SVH team that has a big important meet that day. Annie says " I don't think you're allowed to cheer during a debate tournament." (Facepalm). Jessica corrects her and says that she's talking about the swim meet. Tia makes a crack about Jessica wanting to see Evan in a tight Speedo, The rest of the girls are like, yeah, sure I guess so and they head to Palisades to go to the swim meet.
At the swim meet, they arrive in enough time for the tail end of the meet, according to Tia. Jade and Annie oggle the swimmers' bodies. Jade remarks how she didn't know how buff they were and Annie said "they make football players look like big slabs of meat." Jessica admires Evan in his speedo and Jess asks Tia a stupid question about swim caps (eyes rolling). I guess Evan is doing the 200 free, because Jessica says something to Tia asking how may laps they do and she says four. Obviously, it's an Olympic sized pool. Evan wins his race, even though Jessica was worried that he wouldn't while she's drifting off thinking of Will and then she comes back into the present to Tia cheering for Evan and he wins. Jessica greets him after he's come out of the pool with a smooch on the cheek and he's happy she came and she says she is his good luck charm.
Later, Jessica is about to start her shift at House of Java. She learns from her co-worker Danny that Jeremy (her ex) is working tonight. Jessica is worried about working with Jeremy because of the whole Jeremy- Will-Jessica love triangle disaster. Jeremy shows up, having coming straight from practice. They make some small talk and then, Jeremy tells Jessica he got a call from the Sweet Valley Tribune saying he'd be receiving an award for one of the top two receivers or something (fucking football). Jeremy asks her if she would like to go to the awards banquet with him that Friday. Jessica says no at first, but gives in after repeated pleas from Jeremy to go with him. Jessica thinks, well, they're going as friends so Evan will probably think it's no big deal. But she's worried about explaining it to Evan and she wonders if she can really be friends with Jeremy, really.
The next day, Jessica goes to see Evan at his locker and he's still excited that Jess came to his meet. He's so happy, he says he'll "never rag on cheerleaders again." To which Jess responds, "can I get that in writing." Ha. Then he tells her he and some of his teammates are going to go to a football game to cheer the cheerleaders. Now, it's the moment of truth. Jessica has to tell Evan about her plans with Jeremy. Which, he's pissed about. They bicker and he says she told him upfront that he'd be rebound guy. "I just thought you'd make it a week before running back." He makes another bitchy comment telling her to call him when she got over her flakiness and leaves.
Later that night, Conner shows up to Evan's house. Evan bitches to him about how flaky Jess is and Conner bitches about how Liz is trying to set a record for extra curricular activities (really? He's pissed because she has a job. Wow. What's he going to when he is married with kids?) They decide to have a "Wakefield Free" night and do guy stuff. Wow, for such an allegedly enlightened guy, Evan is kind of a jerk. He calls Jessica "high-maintenance" and bitches because she's confused. Well, she's seventeen years old, not 30, she's still discovering her own identity and if she wants to be confused, who cares? She's in high school.
At the banquet Friday night, Jessica and Jeremy are attending together, of course. They run into some of Jeremy's friends from Big Mesa and Jess is frightened by a sighting of the WillandMelissa monster. She ducks out before she turns to stone from their gaze. Then, Jessica spys Evan, who is looking particularly handsome in a gray suit, on the arm of a smokin' hot blond girl.
Later, Evan is accepting his award for top male swimmer and for his acceptance speech includes his coach, teammates and "everyone who makes up their mind and goes for it." Jessica senses that his speech is directed at her. Jeremy uses his brilliant powers of observation and determines that Evan is the dude Jess has been seeing and he encourages her to go talk to him. Jessica then makes a beeline for Evan and his date, whom he introduces as his good friend Kelsey Goss. Jessica asks Evan if they can talk and Kelsey makes herself scarce saying the punch bowl. Once Kelsey has left, Jessica begins her interrogation. She demands that Evan tell her who Kelsey is. He responds that she's just a friend and asks why. Jessica responds with "Why do you think?" Then Evan says "did you expect me to come to my awards ceremony by myself?" Because, in his mind, he's the only person getting an award that evening. Jessica whines and is all "You could have invited me!" Evan then informs her, that well, he was going to invite her but then she dropped the Jeremy bombshell on him and he's all, "we came with different people, it's fine." Jessica just can't let the Kelsey thing die and asks again who she is. Evan explains for the second time, that she is in fact just a friend, and he's known her since kindergarten. He asks why it's such a huge deal that he came with Kelsey when Jess came with her ex. He asks her if she's getting back together with him. Jessica tearfully says no and then confirms that Jeremy is not her most recent ex. That would be Will, who oh by the way is here too! Evan remarks that she doesn't make things easy for herself, and she cries. Evan then asks her what she wants and she cries even more. Then he asks her if she's ever thought about just being single and at this, she bursts out laughing. Thus ending the saga of Evan and Jessica.
Andy & Six
After joining the Outdoor Club and going on a rock climb, Six made her move on Andy on the top of a mountain and kissed him. Which has left him throughly confused and afraid of her. At school, expecting to be accosted by Six at his locker, Andy is relieved when it's Tia. Tia asks him "who were you expecting, Hannibal Lecter?" Andy explains that he thought she was Six. He reveals to Tia that Six put the moves on him while on the rock climbing trip. Tia tells him "I thought you had a health glow when you came back. I thought it was just a sunburn." Andy replies "Nope, pure terror." He revealed to Tia that he was thinking about writing her (Six) a note. Tia reprimands him and tells him a "Dear John" note is super shitty. She convinces Andy to talk to Six before trying to run away.
Later, Andy finds Six at her locker and he talks to her about the infamous kiss. What happened at...the top. This causes Six to freak out, thinking that Andy wasn't ok with the kiss. Of course, he makes some silly puns (A peak experience) before Six asks him if he's making fun of her. He talks his way into a corner and he winds up telling Six "we should do it again sometime" ala Chandler Bing.
Six is relieved because, in her words, she thought Andy hated her. Spoiler alert: Honey, he doesn't hate you, he just prefers humans with an XY chromosome to be romantically involved with. They make a date to go to House of Java the next night and for the moment, Andy is a little bit less afraid. Just a little bit.
Later, Andy is psyching himself up to go into the Outdoor Club meeting. Again, he's worked up about seeing Six. He takes a seat in the back of the room, when Six's brother, Travis is talking about their next Outdoor Club excursion which as he puts it is going to involve some "serious rock climbing." They need to test safety equipment and Six hones in on Andy and ropes him into testing the equipment with her in the backroom, or he has to go with her to get it or something. There is a whole not exciting sequence where they test the equipment and untie knots and then it's over.
Six and Andy arrive at House of Jave and they're trying to find a place to sit when Tia waves them over. Inside, Andy is panicking over the fact that he's on a real date. He joins Tia and the rest of the gang, Conner, Ken and Maria. Maria and Tia grill Six about rock climbing and Andy brags about her scars, prompting Conner to say "you've been showing each other scars?" There's some more banter. Something about Disney cartoons, Conner being a cosmetics widow or something like that and Andy thinks he might be able to handle having a girlfriend. Maybe.
Later, Andy is dropping Six off at home and is being a gentleman and walking her to her door. He's still full of panic and dread, knowing that he's supposed to make a move on Six. While Andy is internally panicking, Six has no trouble puttting the moves on him. Andy makes a comment about how nice the garden is and Six moves close to him and brushes her hand against his (trying to hold his hand) and he bends down to smell the roses. Six bends down next to him and he quickly gets back up. But, he can't avoid her forever, and they kiss and Andy feels... nothing. Andy is a glutton for punishment though and asks her out again. This time, Friday at the Riot.
Friday, Andy is picking up Six at her house and is internally panicking yet again. He's greeted at the door by big brother Travis. They bullshit about family photos or whatever and Six comes out in a sexy dress, ready for seduction. Her hopes are obviously dashed at the Riot where they are greeted by Andy's friends and almost immediately, Tia grabs him and makes him dance. He dances with Tia for a bit when she tells Andy that Six wants to dance with him. He goes back and tries to find her where he left her, sitting with Conner. But she's gone when he gets there.
He finds Six on the second floor. He asks her what's wrong and he asks "did I do something wrong." She explains her frustration. She was looking forward to spending some alone time with him and that she feels like she's dating his friends. She says she thinks he's avoiding being alone with her. (He is, sorry) Andy insists he's sorry and says he's not good at dating and he's not used to having a girlfriend. Six then says she doesn't really give a fuck about that, what she wants to know is that he actually wants to be with her. Determined to make his relationship last for "longer than one of Connor's weekend flings." Andy says he does want to be with her despite the fact that he feels the need to run away, He wonders if he missed his last opportunity to get out without both of them getting hurt.
Connor & Liz
Liz and Connor are still in their uber happiness phase of their relationship. Which disgusts Jessica, but she'd rather them be annoying together than Liz being mopey all by herself. Connor comes to pick up Liz at home. They make out a bit, Connor says he can't drive with Liz on top of him and she makes some quip about missing school and Connor says he has no problem with ditching, but Liz kills the moment and says they need to get going. Connor suggests they get together after school to "do more of this," but Liz says she has to work. Then Connor turns into Mr. Moody and is mad at her. They sit there, Connor is still Mr. Needy, they banter about Jessica and Evans and blah blah blah.
Later, Liz is waiting by Connor's car because he's giving her a ride to work. Connor is taking his sweet ass time and may potentially make Liz late to work at Discount Sephora. Connor finally shows up, twenty minutes late, leaving Liz ten minutes to get to work. They argue, because Connor is a baby and apparently thinks that since Liz is his girlfriend, her life should revolve around him. This is about the apex of their story. Later, Evan tells them about his swim meet, and Connor gets his whitey-tighties all up in a bunch yet again. They argue about this shit for the rest of the book. They fight after the swim meet and then I guess they make up. But I care so little that I don't even want to bother with this shit.
Ken & Asha & His Dad
Ken runs into Dad's new GF Asha in the bathroom when she's half naked. Great way to introduce your kid to the person you're dating, asshole.Later, when Ken asks his dad about her, he basically says they had dinner and ...
Later, Ken is at home when the phone rings, expecting it to be Maria, he picks up the phone and it's a dude from the Sweet Valley Tribune, informing him that he's been nominated for the "Spirit Award" for re-joining the team after his grief and depression and obvious PTSD over Olivia's death and the earthquake. Ken feels sorry for himself because he was last year's MVP and this year, he is getting what he calls "the benchwarmer" award. Ken mopes because he thinks his dad is like, ashamed of him or something.
Ken and Maria are studying together and Ken is still moping. Maria calls him on it, he explains the benchwarmer award, but Maria convinces him to use this story in his college essays. Ken asks Maria to the banquet, but Maria and the fam are going to Santa Barbara so she can't. She says for Ken to take his dad.
Later, Ken goes to his dad's office and confronts him about the award. Ken's dad is like "oh yeah, congratulations or whatever" and Ken thinks his dad doesn't care unless it's the MVP award. Ken asks his dad wnen he was going to tell him, and Daddy Matthews gets super defensive and is all "did you come here to brow beat me for not being a good roommate?" Seriously, did this asshole just discover he had a kid like, yesterday? So Dad is pissy and Ken is also pissy and he goes to leave, but not before making small talk with his dad's boss and taking another moment to feel sorry for himself. Wah.
In English class the next day, Ken finds a note card in his backpack. Cherie Reese, Melissa's super annoying minion says something about Maria being so sweet. But the handwriting on the envelope doesn't look like Maria's. Ken opens the card and discovers it's a congrats card from Asha, who is way more excited about Ken's award than either Ken or his father. Ken is of course pissed because he thinks that Asha is trying to worm his way into the lives of him and his father. Of course, Asha probably thought she was doing something nice for Ken and it would make him happy. Asha writes in her note that her mother used to do things like this for her as a kid and it made her feel special. So most likely, she was trying to make him feel special and didn't think that it would make him loose his shit.
At dinner, Ken looses his shit at his father, telling him about Asha's note. He tells Dear Old Dad he should talk to Asha because she obviously has some expectations of this relationship. Daddy Matthews doesn't like his son giving him un-warranted advice about his relationship, and as the ultimate "fuck you" Daddy decides to finish dinner in front of the TV.
At the banquet, Ken checks in and is surprised to discover that his dad has not yet made it to the banquet yet. He runs into the WillandMelissa monster, makes some small talk with it. Later, it makes an effort to allow Ken to sit with it and the rest of the SVH gang. During the ceremony, Ken mopes until it's time for his award. He thanks his coach and teammates for sticking by him and when he's at a loss for words, he thanks theTribune, because he's made at his daddy. Oh daddy issues.
Later, Ken gets even more pissed at dear old dad, because at first, he thought Mr. Matthews had to work late, but Dad's co-worker blows his cover and tells Ken that his dad is out on a dinner reservation. Wonderful. Cue the end of Ken's story.
Diary Entries:
Andy is lying in bed contemplating why he feels like he gets a stomachache and would rather run and hide from Six than spend time with her.
Continuing with the lying in bed theme, Tia is lying in bed all sad about Angel and the break up. She tells herself that she should be happy about being free and single, but she would rather still sit in bed and mope.
At Chez Wakefield, Jessica is lying in bed worrying about Evan, and trying to convince herself it was just a minor set back, but she just wants to lie in bed and mope.
Liz is on cloud nine and is still dreaming about making out with Connor. She wants to stay in bed and still dream about making out with Connor.
Before his confrontation with Six the first time, Andy is trying to write a "dear john" letter to Six.
Liz writes an editorial for The Oracle, targeting the SVH seniors, basically telling them not to slack off. She includes a disclaimer saying that the editorial was a request from the guidance counselors' office. Andy writes Liz an email telling her that he's now officially petrified.
Evan makes a list of his top ten qualities he is looking for in a mate. This includes political consciousness and nice legs. Ew.
Ken writes a college application essay about the earthquake and him rejoining the team as a second string player.
Connor writes a douchy diary entry about how everyone who is a "do-er" is stupid. I want to punch him so hard, it's not funny.
The senior poll category is best looking. Liz's vote is for Connor and Maria, Jessica's vote is for Liz and Evan, after she crossed out Will's name. Connor votes for Liz, Maria votes for Cherie Reese and Ken, Evan asks what kind of question is it, Tia votes for Jade Wu and Josh Radinsky, MelissaandWill vote for themselves.
Will makes a "to do" list that includes getting rid of a sweatshirt that smells like Jessica's perfume, so as not to incite Melissa.
Liz rants about how beauty products are basically bullshit when her BF is not even near her.
Evan writes a self righteous letter to the editor, basically maligning organized sports and cheerleading. Hypocrite much, Evan?
Six writes about how most dudes are busy staring at parts of female anatomy while talking to you, but Andy is like, totally different. I'm stopping here to say again, that the reason Andy is different, is that he prefers parts of the male anatomy rather than the female ones. Oops! Spoiiler Alert!
Final diary entries:
Andy is wondering if dating is hard for everyone or just him. Meanwhile, Six thinks she can "work" with Andy despite his issues.
Ken is pissy about his dad and says HE'S supposed to be the teenager in the house!
Jessica reminds herself over and over again that there is more to life than boys.
Liz writes that there is more to her life than Connor and he's just going to have to get over himself and deal with it.
Brief recap of the events of the last novel.
Tia and Angel = splitsville. Tia made out with Trent at a Big Mesa party after feeling neglected by Angel and then he catches her with Trent and they broke up.
Melissa and Will are now a two-headed monster of annoying.
Artist rendering of the monster.
Jessica met Evan and fled from him at the Riot after being invited to dance at the Riot. Andy met Six and she tried to make-out with him on top of a mountain. Oh yeah, and Liz has a job now at a make-up store called Sedona, so discount Sephora... because the ghostwriters are lazy.
So here we go:
We'll just break the plots down by couple and or characters.
Jessica & Evan:
Jessica ran away from Evan at the Riot the night before. She's feeling guilty about it or something. But she's struggling because he's a grunge god or something like that. Really, I'm sure she's most annoyed by his diatribes on like, everything. Seriously, the ghostwriters are playing the bleeding heart, tree-hugging hippie thing to death with this character. This is coming from a fellow bleeding heart liberal.
At lunch, after trying to avoid the two headed monster called WillandMelissa. Jess joins the girls for lunch. When she gets to the table, everybody is whispering in a hushed voice, which Jessica takes to mean they're talking about her, but then she sees Tia crying and Liz tells her that it's not always about her and it's back to the Tia and Angel break up. Tia waxes and moans about how sad she is. Jess asks her if she's planning on getting together with Trent and Tia says no. The topic of conversation shifts to Evan and Jessica's partial dance at the Riot. The girls crack a bunch of CInderella jokes and then Maria tells Jessica that Evan is not her type. Speciffically, he's "too grungy and unpopular" for her. Jessica is offended by this, but then Liz asks her if she can name one of her former boyfriends who wasn't a super handsome football player-y type. Jessica says Jeremy is the least superficial person she knows, but Tia reminds her that Jeremy is the captain of the Big Mesa football team and Jess goes "But he's so sweet and kind and blah, blah, blah" (not a direct quote). Maria then says he looks like a Tommy Hilfiger model. Then, after much back and forth about Evan and how Jessica is okay as long as she doesn't have to be seen in public with him (ala the Riot), Jessica decides she's going to ask Evan out and she's not going to date a jock! Liz reminds her that Evan is a swimmer, which annoys her.
Later, Jessica stalks Evan at his car. She takes in his traditional hippie/grunge/Kurt Cobain outfit with disdain (he's wearing Birkenstocks, eww!). She gets a flash of Will in her head and is super determined to make this work with Evan. When he sees her, she apologizing for running out on him in the middle of a dance. Evan delivers the best line of the whole book "It was just a dance. I wasn't proposing marriage or anything." Jessica asks him out by saying "well, since you're not traumatized, you wanna try again?" After some really stupid bantering about yoga and Jess having cab fare, they agree to meet the next night at 6 p.m.
On their date, Evan takes Jessica to his favorite restaurant "The Garden of Eatin'" No joke, that is really the name of this restaurant. They serve basically vegetarian, uber health food. They order, then they talk about a movie they went to see. Jessica likes the movie, and particularly, the female lead. Evan agrees with her and this leads into a dicussion on feminism and Evan is a feminist and he seemed surprised that Jessica would consider herself one, since she's a cheerleader and all. This leads into a discussion of jocks and how Evan is so enlightened that he calls himself an "athlete." I just can't... seriously. I want to punch Evan so hard in the face right at this moment, showing off his moral superiority. It's quite annoying.
Jessica is apparently turned on by this moral superiority that the next day at school, she must get to school twenty minutes earlier as pointed out by Elizabeth. Jessica retorts that she (Elizabeth) was the one that "herded her out the door." Liz explains it's the only time she'll get to see Conner today until lunch. Then Elizabeth makes the brilliant observation that Jessica was hoping to, I guess, "accidentally" bump into Evan convieniently since his locker is next to Conner's. When Jessica sees Evan, he is looking dapper and handsome and not at all grungy. They hold hands (aww). Evan has a swim meet that afternoon. There is some Conner and Liz banter that I won't get into here. Evan asks Jessica if she's going to be "too busy doing cartwheels this afternoon." Jess just says yes, even though she wants to tell him they do more than cartwheels. But she says she'll cheer for him psychically. Then, the two headed monster, MelissaandWill rears it's ugly head. She panics when she thinks the monster is talking about her and she runs away from Evan for the second time.
Later, after Jess runs away, Evan and Conner get to talking and he tells Conner he went out with Jessica the night before and Conner's all like "ya, Liz told me." Then the boys are all "OMG, bra, we're dating twins." (My words, not ghostwriter's). Andy comes up and they banter about his life for a bit. Cut to later that day, Jessica has spotted Will, sans Melissa. She' s trying to act all nonchalant like she's over him. Will comes up to her and says he saw her with Evan and he's happy for him and blah, blah, opposites, blah, blah, blah. Then Jess is all "you think you're better than Evan?" Will's all "whatever" and walks off leaving Jessica fuming.
At lunch, Jess and Liz are sitting together and Jess is ranting about her close encounter with the Will kind. After some back and forth, Liz comes out and tells Jessica that she's clearly not over Will. Then Jessica says "uh, what now? I don't think so. I hate Will!" Liz counters with "then why have you spent the last ten minutes talking about him?" Tia and Maria join them and the scene ends.
Later, Jessica, Jade, Tia and the rest of the cheerleaders are standing in front of Coach Laufield's door in a daze. Cheerleading practice is cancelled because Laufield had to go to the doctor or something like that. Tia suggests working out anyways. But Cherie Reese and Gina Cho (Melissa's minions) are like "Fuck no, practice is cancelled, let's boot." They ask their fearless leader, Melissa what she wants to do and she suggests the mall. Melissa is a huge bitch and is playing her bitchy mind games. She tells the minions (girl posse) "There's a sweater I was thinking of getting for Will. I'd love to have your opinion, Lila. You have such good taste in clothes." Lila is all, yeah, sure whatevs.
With that, they leave, and Jade, Jessica, Tia and Annie are all trying to figure out what to do. Jess says there is an SVH team that has a big important meet that day. Annie says " I don't think you're allowed to cheer during a debate tournament." (Facepalm). Jessica corrects her and says that she's talking about the swim meet. Tia makes a crack about Jessica wanting to see Evan in a tight Speedo, The rest of the girls are like, yeah, sure I guess so and they head to Palisades to go to the swim meet.
At the swim meet, they arrive in enough time for the tail end of the meet, according to Tia. Jade and Annie oggle the swimmers' bodies. Jade remarks how she didn't know how buff they were and Annie said "they make football players look like big slabs of meat." Jessica admires Evan in his speedo and Jess asks Tia a stupid question about swim caps (eyes rolling). I guess Evan is doing the 200 free, because Jessica says something to Tia asking how may laps they do and she says four. Obviously, it's an Olympic sized pool. Evan wins his race, even though Jessica was worried that he wouldn't while she's drifting off thinking of Will and then she comes back into the present to Tia cheering for Evan and he wins. Jessica greets him after he's come out of the pool with a smooch on the cheek and he's happy she came and she says she is his good luck charm.
Later, Jessica is about to start her shift at House of Java. She learns from her co-worker Danny that Jeremy (her ex) is working tonight. Jessica is worried about working with Jeremy because of the whole Jeremy- Will-Jessica love triangle disaster. Jeremy shows up, having coming straight from practice. They make some small talk and then, Jeremy tells Jessica he got a call from the Sweet Valley Tribune saying he'd be receiving an award for one of the top two receivers or something (fucking football). Jeremy asks her if she would like to go to the awards banquet with him that Friday. Jessica says no at first, but gives in after repeated pleas from Jeremy to go with him. Jessica thinks, well, they're going as friends so Evan will probably think it's no big deal. But she's worried about explaining it to Evan and she wonders if she can really be friends with Jeremy, really.
The next day, Jessica goes to see Evan at his locker and he's still excited that Jess came to his meet. He's so happy, he says he'll "never rag on cheerleaders again." To which Jess responds, "can I get that in writing." Ha. Then he tells her he and some of his teammates are going to go to a football game to cheer the cheerleaders. Now, it's the moment of truth. Jessica has to tell Evan about her plans with Jeremy. Which, he's pissed about. They bicker and he says she told him upfront that he'd be rebound guy. "I just thought you'd make it a week before running back." He makes another bitchy comment telling her to call him when she got over her flakiness and leaves.
Later that night, Conner shows up to Evan's house. Evan bitches to him about how flaky Jess is and Conner bitches about how Liz is trying to set a record for extra curricular activities (really? He's pissed because she has a job. Wow. What's he going to when he is married with kids?) They decide to have a "Wakefield Free" night and do guy stuff. Wow, for such an allegedly enlightened guy, Evan is kind of a jerk. He calls Jessica "high-maintenance" and bitches because she's confused. Well, she's seventeen years old, not 30, she's still discovering her own identity and if she wants to be confused, who cares? She's in high school.
At the banquet Friday night, Jessica and Jeremy are attending together, of course. They run into some of Jeremy's friends from Big Mesa and Jess is frightened by a sighting of the WillandMelissa monster. She ducks out before she turns to stone from their gaze. Then, Jessica spys Evan, who is looking particularly handsome in a gray suit, on the arm of a smokin' hot blond girl.
Later, Evan is accepting his award for top male swimmer and for his acceptance speech includes his coach, teammates and "everyone who makes up their mind and goes for it." Jessica senses that his speech is directed at her. Jeremy uses his brilliant powers of observation and determines that Evan is the dude Jess has been seeing and he encourages her to go talk to him. Jessica then makes a beeline for Evan and his date, whom he introduces as his good friend Kelsey Goss. Jessica asks Evan if they can talk and Kelsey makes herself scarce saying the punch bowl. Once Kelsey has left, Jessica begins her interrogation. She demands that Evan tell her who Kelsey is. He responds that she's just a friend and asks why. Jessica responds with "Why do you think?" Then Evan says "did you expect me to come to my awards ceremony by myself?" Because, in his mind, he's the only person getting an award that evening. Jessica whines and is all "You could have invited me!" Evan then informs her, that well, he was going to invite her but then she dropped the Jeremy bombshell on him and he's all, "we came with different people, it's fine." Jessica just can't let the Kelsey thing die and asks again who she is. Evan explains for the second time, that she is in fact just a friend, and he's known her since kindergarten. He asks why it's such a huge deal that he came with Kelsey when Jess came with her ex. He asks her if she's getting back together with him. Jessica tearfully says no and then confirms that Jeremy is not her most recent ex. That would be Will, who oh by the way is here too! Evan remarks that she doesn't make things easy for herself, and she cries. Evan then asks her what she wants and she cries even more. Then he asks her if she's ever thought about just being single and at this, she bursts out laughing. Thus ending the saga of Evan and Jessica.
Andy & Six
After joining the Outdoor Club and going on a rock climb, Six made her move on Andy on the top of a mountain and kissed him. Which has left him throughly confused and afraid of her. At school, expecting to be accosted by Six at his locker, Andy is relieved when it's Tia. Tia asks him "who were you expecting, Hannibal Lecter?" Andy explains that he thought she was Six. He reveals to Tia that Six put the moves on him while on the rock climbing trip. Tia tells him "I thought you had a health glow when you came back. I thought it was just a sunburn." Andy replies "Nope, pure terror." He revealed to Tia that he was thinking about writing her (Six) a note. Tia reprimands him and tells him a "Dear John" note is super shitty. She convinces Andy to talk to Six before trying to run away.
Later, Andy finds Six at her locker and he talks to her about the infamous kiss. What happened at...the top. This causes Six to freak out, thinking that Andy wasn't ok with the kiss. Of course, he makes some silly puns (A peak experience) before Six asks him if he's making fun of her. He talks his way into a corner and he winds up telling Six "we should do it again sometime" ala Chandler Bing.
Click to viewSix is relieved because, in her words, she thought Andy hated her. Spoiler alert: Honey, he doesn't hate you, he just prefers humans with an XY chromosome to be romantically involved with. They make a date to go to House of Java the next night and for the moment, Andy is a little bit less afraid. Just a little bit.
Later, Andy is psyching himself up to go into the Outdoor Club meeting. Again, he's worked up about seeing Six. He takes a seat in the back of the room, when Six's brother, Travis is talking about their next Outdoor Club excursion which as he puts it is going to involve some "serious rock climbing." They need to test safety equipment and Six hones in on Andy and ropes him into testing the equipment with her in the backroom, or he has to go with her to get it or something. There is a whole not exciting sequence where they test the equipment and untie knots and then it's over.
Six and Andy arrive at House of Jave and they're trying to find a place to sit when Tia waves them over. Inside, Andy is panicking over the fact that he's on a real date. He joins Tia and the rest of the gang, Conner, Ken and Maria. Maria and Tia grill Six about rock climbing and Andy brags about her scars, prompting Conner to say "you've been showing each other scars?" There's some more banter. Something about Disney cartoons, Conner being a cosmetics widow or something like that and Andy thinks he might be able to handle having a girlfriend. Maybe.
Later, Andy is dropping Six off at home and is being a gentleman and walking her to her door. He's still full of panic and dread, knowing that he's supposed to make a move on Six. While Andy is internally panicking, Six has no trouble puttting the moves on him. Andy makes a comment about how nice the garden is and Six moves close to him and brushes her hand against his (trying to hold his hand) and he bends down to smell the roses. Six bends down next to him and he quickly gets back up. But, he can't avoid her forever, and they kiss and Andy feels... nothing. Andy is a glutton for punishment though and asks her out again. This time, Friday at the Riot.
Friday, Andy is picking up Six at her house and is internally panicking yet again. He's greeted at the door by big brother Travis. They bullshit about family photos or whatever and Six comes out in a sexy dress, ready for seduction. Her hopes are obviously dashed at the Riot where they are greeted by Andy's friends and almost immediately, Tia grabs him and makes him dance. He dances with Tia for a bit when she tells Andy that Six wants to dance with him. He goes back and tries to find her where he left her, sitting with Conner. But she's gone when he gets there.
He finds Six on the second floor. He asks her what's wrong and he asks "did I do something wrong." She explains her frustration. She was looking forward to spending some alone time with him and that she feels like she's dating his friends. She says she thinks he's avoiding being alone with her. (He is, sorry) Andy insists he's sorry and says he's not good at dating and he's not used to having a girlfriend. Six then says she doesn't really give a fuck about that, what she wants to know is that he actually wants to be with her. Determined to make his relationship last for "longer than one of Connor's weekend flings." Andy says he does want to be with her despite the fact that he feels the need to run away, He wonders if he missed his last opportunity to get out without both of them getting hurt.
Connor & Liz
Liz and Connor are still in their uber happiness phase of their relationship. Which disgusts Jessica, but she'd rather them be annoying together than Liz being mopey all by herself. Connor comes to pick up Liz at home. They make out a bit, Connor says he can't drive with Liz on top of him and she makes some quip about missing school and Connor says he has no problem with ditching, but Liz kills the moment and says they need to get going. Connor suggests they get together after school to "do more of this," but Liz says she has to work. Then Connor turns into Mr. Moody and is mad at her. They sit there, Connor is still Mr. Needy, they banter about Jessica and Evans and blah blah blah.
Later, Liz is waiting by Connor's car because he's giving her a ride to work. Connor is taking his sweet ass time and may potentially make Liz late to work at Discount Sephora. Connor finally shows up, twenty minutes late, leaving Liz ten minutes to get to work. They argue, because Connor is a baby and apparently thinks that since Liz is his girlfriend, her life should revolve around him. This is about the apex of their story. Later, Evan tells them about his swim meet, and Connor gets his whitey-tighties all up in a bunch yet again. They argue about this shit for the rest of the book. They fight after the swim meet and then I guess they make up. But I care so little that I don't even want to bother with this shit.
Ken & Asha & His Dad
Ken runs into Dad's new GF Asha in the bathroom when she's half naked. Great way to introduce your kid to the person you're dating, asshole.Later, when Ken asks his dad about her, he basically says they had dinner and ...
Later, Ken is at home when the phone rings, expecting it to be Maria, he picks up the phone and it's a dude from the Sweet Valley Tribune, informing him that he's been nominated for the "Spirit Award" for re-joining the team after his grief and depression and obvious PTSD over Olivia's death and the earthquake. Ken feels sorry for himself because he was last year's MVP and this year, he is getting what he calls "the benchwarmer" award. Ken mopes because he thinks his dad is like, ashamed of him or something.
Ken and Maria are studying together and Ken is still moping. Maria calls him on it, he explains the benchwarmer award, but Maria convinces him to use this story in his college essays. Ken asks Maria to the banquet, but Maria and the fam are going to Santa Barbara so she can't. She says for Ken to take his dad.
Later, Ken goes to his dad's office and confronts him about the award. Ken's dad is like "oh yeah, congratulations or whatever" and Ken thinks his dad doesn't care unless it's the MVP award. Ken asks his dad wnen he was going to tell him, and Daddy Matthews gets super defensive and is all "did you come here to brow beat me for not being a good roommate?" Seriously, did this asshole just discover he had a kid like, yesterday? So Dad is pissy and Ken is also pissy and he goes to leave, but not before making small talk with his dad's boss and taking another moment to feel sorry for himself. Wah.
In English class the next day, Ken finds a note card in his backpack. Cherie Reese, Melissa's super annoying minion says something about Maria being so sweet. But the handwriting on the envelope doesn't look like Maria's. Ken opens the card and discovers it's a congrats card from Asha, who is way more excited about Ken's award than either Ken or his father. Ken is of course pissed because he thinks that Asha is trying to worm his way into the lives of him and his father. Of course, Asha probably thought she was doing something nice for Ken and it would make him happy. Asha writes in her note that her mother used to do things like this for her as a kid and it made her feel special. So most likely, she was trying to make him feel special and didn't think that it would make him loose his shit.
At dinner, Ken looses his shit at his father, telling him about Asha's note. He tells Dear Old Dad he should talk to Asha because she obviously has some expectations of this relationship. Daddy Matthews doesn't like his son giving him un-warranted advice about his relationship, and as the ultimate "fuck you" Daddy decides to finish dinner in front of the TV.
At the banquet, Ken checks in and is surprised to discover that his dad has not yet made it to the banquet yet. He runs into the WillandMelissa monster, makes some small talk with it. Later, it makes an effort to allow Ken to sit with it and the rest of the SVH gang. During the ceremony, Ken mopes until it's time for his award. He thanks his coach and teammates for sticking by him and when he's at a loss for words, he thanks theTribune, because he's made at his daddy. Oh daddy issues.
Later, Ken gets even more pissed at dear old dad, because at first, he thought Mr. Matthews had to work late, but Dad's co-worker blows his cover and tells Ken that his dad is out on a dinner reservation. Wonderful. Cue the end of Ken's story.
Diary Entries:
Andy is lying in bed contemplating why he feels like he gets a stomachache and would rather run and hide from Six than spend time with her.
Continuing with the lying in bed theme, Tia is lying in bed all sad about Angel and the break up. She tells herself that she should be happy about being free and single, but she would rather still sit in bed and mope.
At Chez Wakefield, Jessica is lying in bed worrying about Evan, and trying to convince herself it was just a minor set back, but she just wants to lie in bed and mope.
Liz is on cloud nine and is still dreaming about making out with Connor. She wants to stay in bed and still dream about making out with Connor.
Before his confrontation with Six the first time, Andy is trying to write a "dear john" letter to Six.
Liz writes an editorial for The Oracle, targeting the SVH seniors, basically telling them not to slack off. She includes a disclaimer saying that the editorial was a request from the guidance counselors' office. Andy writes Liz an email telling her that he's now officially petrified.
Evan makes a list of his top ten qualities he is looking for in a mate. This includes political consciousness and nice legs. Ew.
Ken writes a college application essay about the earthquake and him rejoining the team as a second string player.
Connor writes a douchy diary entry about how everyone who is a "do-er" is stupid. I want to punch him so hard, it's not funny.
The senior poll category is best looking. Liz's vote is for Connor and Maria, Jessica's vote is for Liz and Evan, after she crossed out Will's name. Connor votes for Liz, Maria votes for Cherie Reese and Ken, Evan asks what kind of question is it, Tia votes for Jade Wu and Josh Radinsky, MelissaandWill vote for themselves.
Will makes a "to do" list that includes getting rid of a sweatshirt that smells like Jessica's perfume, so as not to incite Melissa.
Liz rants about how beauty products are basically bullshit when her BF is not even near her.
Evan writes a self righteous letter to the editor, basically maligning organized sports and cheerleading. Hypocrite much, Evan?
Six writes about how most dudes are busy staring at parts of female anatomy while talking to you, but Andy is like, totally different. I'm stopping here to say again, that the reason Andy is different, is that he prefers parts of the male anatomy rather than the female ones. Oops! Spoiiler Alert!
Final diary entries:
Andy is wondering if dating is hard for everyone or just him. Meanwhile, Six thinks she can "work" with Andy despite his issues.
Ken is pissy about his dad and says HE'S supposed to be the teenager in the house!
Jessica reminds herself over and over again that there is more to life than boys.
Liz writes that there is more to her life than Connor and he's just going to have to get over himself and deal with it.