Comments | 1bruce1: SVU #50: Summer of Love

hellobrisvegas in 1bruce1

SVU #50: Summer of Love

Feb 12, 2013 14:30

Truth be told, I went to retrieve this book from my local op shop for one reason and one reason only: I had to know how the ghostwriter was going to sum up the, er, events of the last book. I mean, Tom showed his undercarriage to a stadium full of unsuspecting Chicagoans, and I could simply not live another day without knowing how they were going ( Read more... )

party!, summer break, tom watts, instant celebrity status, sociopathic jessica, saint elizabeth of sweet valley, some people never learn, sam burgess, trusty boyfriend todd, road trip mini series, recapper: hellobrisvegas, i declare shenanigans, underage drinking, doormat syndrome

Comments 19

jedinic February 12 2013, 08:54:51 UTC

(Only 1/3 of the way through the review so far, but this....)

So...Liz almost takes a tumble off an honest-to-goodness mountain, and Sam's reaction is to laugh and masturbate?

The author has to be trolling, right? HAS TO BE. I bet it was one of those twenty-something guys who ghostwrote the books pretending they were teenage girls and inserted references like these to amuse themselves.

Well played, author-trolls. Well played.

Also, hee! at TW-squared. :D

hanfastolfe February 12 2013, 14:50:06 UTC

Woooow. Even by Sweet Valley High standards, a male character doing that would have to be considered srsly wonky. :O

So this book is of the So Bad it's Good variety? I can hope! :P

hellobrisvegas February 13 2013, 00:31:30 UTC

I bet it was one of those twenty-something guys who ghostwrote the books pretending they were teenage girls and inserted references like these to amuse themselves.
I would nornally agree with you, but while reading it I got the distinct impression that it was written by a girl. I don't know what it is, probably has something to do with the paragraph Sam spent contemplating how much more attractive Liz's old boyfriends are compared to himself, but I got that impression. I have no explanation for the throwaway 'hands in the pants' line whatsoever.

So this book is of the So Bad it's Good variety?
That's exactly what it is. Some parts are so ridiculous, I actually had to stifle a laugh here and there.

jedinic February 18 2013, 05:52:53 UTC

So the author was in love with all of Liz's old boyfriends AND Sam?

I still can't get over the complete and utter character-assassination of Tom though. Tom! I used to love you! But seeing what a train-wreck you became in this book.... even the glee of TW-squared wasn't enough.

Also, I will giggle (or take a shot!) every time I hear the word "ambush" for the next week. Thank you for that. :p Your review was amazing and brilliant, as always. :D

snarky_imp February 12 2013, 14:02:46 UTC

I've read this one before and I was still hoping that Neil would reveal that he'd caught onto Jessica's shopping scheme and was buying the most out there things he could find (that would, to Jessica, still seem plausible because gay and purple boots? Why the hell not!) just to mess with her. Woe in an otherwise perfectly cracktastic installment!

esc_key February 12 2013, 23:30:13 UTC

I would've loved him forever if he did that.

hellobrisvegas February 13 2013, 00:32:23 UTC

Me too. Missed opportunity for more Neil awesomeness right there.

versipellis February 12 2013, 19:23:24 UTC

Apparently she's been doing this all afternoon, and has nearly maxed out her credit card buying things Neil wants but can't fit into. This is so gloriously passive-aggressive and childish that I sort of love it.

And holy crap, masturbation reference? In my Sweet Valley?!

I am... sort of baffled at just how crazy Tom is in this book. I seriously don't remember him being like this in any of the titles I read. It's... bizarre.

Also, a lot of giving girls away as property. *side-eyes ghostwriter*

An awesome recap, though! Though you had brilliant material to work with ;)

hellobrisvegas February 13 2013, 00:35:57 UTC

Also, a lot of giving girls away as property.
GIrls are property. Didn't you know that? We're just here to be pretty baby-birthers for the menfolk, and, if your suitor is an especially good soldier, you could even be a war prize!

I did like that one of the few 'girl power' moments involved a pregnant woman deciding to jump off a cliff. There's no middle ground in Sweet Valley.

versipellis February 15 2013, 18:04:08 UTC

You're right. *headslap* Clearly the SVH gang war mini-series taught me NOTHING.

Yes - and it was a bizarre end to a bizarre series! It's like they've given up all pretense of trying to set a good example :D

nen_yim February 12 2013, 22:16:06 UTC

I spent half this recap laughing and the other half staring in wide-eyed horror. Didn't Tom used to be normal? I don't understand.

(then again, normal in sweet valley has always been graded on a curve, so...)

hellobrisvegas February 13 2013, 00:48:22 UTC

Didn't Tom used to be normal? I don't understand.This, I believe, is Sweet Valley doing the classic 90210 writeoff. Because you can't just break up with people and be done with it. Donna couldn't just break up with Ray to date Joe the Quarterback; they had to turn Joe into a litigious absuive pumpkin farmer first. When they wanted to get Kelly back with Brandon, they turned her current boyfriend Mark into an asshole overnight. It's the death knell, the 'we promise that Girl A is never EVER going to get back with Boy A, because Boy A is now a jerkface' move ( ... )

nen_yim February 13 2013, 01:16:12 UTC

Oh, this is true. That used to drive me insane about other books/shows/movies/whatever, but I guess I always ignored it in Sweet Valley because that place is just a town full of crazy anyway.

(I almost said, "Still, you'd think they'd at least be more subtle about it," but...ha.)

versipellis February 15 2013, 18:05:44 UTC

This is a good point and a trope I hadn't consciously noticed before. Also, "litigious abusive pumpkin farmer" is... really making me laugh for some reason :D

esc_key February 12 2013, 23:29:21 UTC

That's God telling him to die in the desert for making me read that shit up there.
Agreed!

Tom realises that he needs to get over Liz the way Todd has. Todd decides to help him out, and offers some girl called Briana as a sacrifice.
... it's sad when your sanity role model is Todd. But I suspect Todd just managed to save Liz from another psycho killer. (Trying to think of a way to phrase it in which he Toddpunched insanity in the face or something, but no luck.)

I have this weird mental image of Tom, dressed in an old Civil War uniform, but carrying a bow and arrow and maybe wearing a Native American headdress (because apparently he didn't get the memo about which old timey war he was fighting in), and like holding Liz captive in some remote place. Meanwhile the creepy orderly guy and William White watch from the great Off Page, and say to themselves, "See? That's what she does to people."

snarky_imp February 13 2013, 00:19:38 UTC

"See? That's what she does to people."

*dies*

hellobrisvegas February 13 2013, 00:57:17 UTC

Meanwhile the creepy orderly guy and William White watch from the great Off Page, and say to themselves, "See? That's what she does to people."
Yes. These are no longer coincidences. Liz inspires people to kidnap her. It's just her way.

but carrying a bow and arrow and maybe wearing a Native American headdress
Thank you so much for sharing this mental image. Now my mental image is of Liz as Tigerlily from Peter Pan, sitting all tied up on a rock and waiting for high tide.