Don't eat meat, but she sure like the bone
As someone who is both snarky and a vegetarian (a snark-a-tarian?) I am always amused by the portrayals of vegetarian characters in 80's and 90's YA Lit- I'm looking at you, Dawn Schafer! Of course, they also made the Wakefield twins vegetarian in the SVH sitcom, which fans didn't care for, as it was yet another way in which the show deviated from the book series. Which led me to think: What if, for one book, they actually were veg? The foolishness under the cut is what I think would happen.
Elizabeth: Liz goes on a crusade after reading an article on animal cruelty, and becomes a holier-than-thou vegan while Enid meekly gives encouragement about how Liz is an animal rights rock star. At school she's shoving pamphlets of slaughterhouse photos under the noses of students in the cafeteria who dare to get Sloppy Joes in the lunch line and is quoting statistics about factory farming and increased cancer risks due to the consumption of meat. Liz pouts and uses passive-aggressive tactics trying to sway Todd into the lifestyle, but since whales aren't farm animals and changing his diet doesn't involve punching, he doesn't really give a shit. She frequently writes scathing, hate-filled editorials about the use of animal testing for cosmetics in The Oracle, while condescendingly thinking to herself that if only Lois Waller would go vegan, she too could be thin instead of fat. While I'm sure there's a shoulder pat in here somewhere, nothing really happens in the Liz-plot, it's just a lot of inner monologue in which Liz disapproves of everyone. Later in the book she starts daydreaming about cheese and meat, and when no one's looking she indulges. She continues to lecture other people while secretly cheating by eating non-vegan foods on the side. The other Wakefields suspect something is up after a few too many midnight raids of the fridge, and instead of being worried about a possible eating disorder like normal people would be, they hatch a plan to set up a booby trap for Liz. It involves something over-the-top and wacky, maybe a net falling down from the ceiling as she's reaching for the leftover prime rib. After getting caught the Wakefields all laugh, and Liz gives up the whole pretense, going back to eating at the Dairi Burger like nothing ever happened.
Jessica: Jess says that being veg is stupid in response to her sister's antics. She's already a perfect size six while consuming cheeseburgers and milkshakes 95% of the time, why should she change what she eats? Who cares about the animals? Then, she meets a hot college guy at the mall who just so happens to be an animal rights activist. His name is Skye Feather, and he along with his hippie co-horts, are protesting the new chicken wing chain in the food court. Jess, of course, lies her sociopathic arse off, talking about how much she just LOVES animals and Mother Nature, and makes sure he's watching her as she heads for the salad bar. She completely re-invents herself in an attempt to impress her new man-toy Skye, getting rid of all her leather clothing, going vegetarian, and even using dated slang like "groovy" or "far out" in conversation. She joins in on another protest where they are throwing red paint onto the fur coats of unsuspecting people, and ends up drenching a furious Lila Fowler. After dating for two weeks, which we all know is a long time for Jessica, she uncovers another stereotype about Skye: He believes in free love! He's been seeing other people behind her back the whole time. In a fit of Jessica-like revenge, she snoops until she finds out when he'll be on another date, then she throws rotten meat at him as he's making out with another girl on a picnic blanket under a tree in the park. Skye got off easy considering he is now an ex-boyfriend who didn't die, and Jess celebrates her newfound independence with a shopping spree that includes the purchase of multiple pairs of leather shoes.
Elizabeth: Liz goes on a crusade after reading an article on animal cruelty, and becomes a holier-than-thou vegan while Enid meekly gives encouragement about how Liz is an animal rights rock star. At school she's shoving pamphlets of slaughterhouse photos under the noses of students in the cafeteria who dare to get Sloppy Joes in the lunch line and is quoting statistics about factory farming and increased cancer risks due to the consumption of meat. Liz pouts and uses passive-aggressive tactics trying to sway Todd into the lifestyle, but since whales aren't farm animals and changing his diet doesn't involve punching, he doesn't really give a shit. She frequently writes scathing, hate-filled editorials about the use of animal testing for cosmetics in The Oracle, while condescendingly thinking to herself that if only Lois Waller would go vegan, she too could be thin instead of fat. While I'm sure there's a shoulder pat in here somewhere, nothing really happens in the Liz-plot, it's just a lot of inner monologue in which Liz disapproves of everyone. Later in the book she starts daydreaming about cheese and meat, and when no one's looking she indulges. She continues to lecture other people while secretly cheating by eating non-vegan foods on the side. The other Wakefields suspect something is up after a few too many midnight raids of the fridge, and instead of being worried about a possible eating disorder like normal people would be, they hatch a plan to set up a booby trap for Liz. It involves something over-the-top and wacky, maybe a net falling down from the ceiling as she's reaching for the leftover prime rib. After getting caught the Wakefields all laugh, and Liz gives up the whole pretense, going back to eating at the Dairi Burger like nothing ever happened.
Jessica: Jess says that being veg is stupid in response to her sister's antics. She's already a perfect size six while consuming cheeseburgers and milkshakes 95% of the time, why should she change what she eats? Who cares about the animals? Then, she meets a hot college guy at the mall who just so happens to be an animal rights activist. His name is Skye Feather, and he along with his hippie co-horts, are protesting the new chicken wing chain in the food court. Jess, of course, lies her sociopathic arse off, talking about how much she just LOVES animals and Mother Nature, and makes sure he's watching her as she heads for the salad bar. She completely re-invents herself in an attempt to impress her new man-toy Skye, getting rid of all her leather clothing, going vegetarian, and even using dated slang like "groovy" or "far out" in conversation. She joins in on another protest where they are throwing red paint onto the fur coats of unsuspecting people, and ends up drenching a furious Lila Fowler. After dating for two weeks, which we all know is a long time for Jessica, she uncovers another stereotype about Skye: He believes in free love! He's been seeing other people behind her back the whole time. In a fit of Jessica-like revenge, she snoops until she finds out when he'll be on another date, then she throws rotten meat at him as he's making out with another girl on a picnic blanket under a tree in the park. Skye got off easy considering he is now an ex-boyfriend who didn't die, and Jess celebrates her newfound independence with a shopping spree that includes the purchase of multiple pairs of leather shoes.