SVU #16: The Other Woman (recap part 1)
Hi, guys! This is my second recap here and I hope it's better than my first one. I know there already is a recap of this one now, but I'd started this and had so much fun with it, I had to post it as well. Hope that's okay with everyone! Please excuse the multitudes of ()s - I have a tendency to throw in a LOT of side thoughts. One other thing? This recap is about five times longer than it really needs to be, but I'm a babbler, so enjoy. Go read the recap of #15, Behind Closed Doors, if you need caught up. Here we go!
The Other Woman
Our cover shows Jessica and Louis. She's looking like she just cut a fart and wants him to say that even her flatulance is cute; he's looking either totally drugged, or concerned about the smell in his office. Depends on how closely you look. Jessica's top is way too low-cut, but I do like the presence of the lavaliere.
Chapter 1
We open with Jessica and Louis mackin' in his car during a heavy rainstorm. "No kiss or embrace had ever made [Jessica] feel as weak or as reckless. Not even ex-husband Mike McAllery's." Somewhere after death, Sam and Christian shake their fists and bond over "that bitch!" She kisses Professor Miles again and they fall against the door of the car, where the handle presses against Jessica's back. I don't think that's the only hard object pokin' her if you know what I mean. Yeah, I went there. It was easy. *sticks tongue out* After they pull away from each other, Louis says this can't happen again and Jessica gets upset. (There's an odd description of her eyelashes being naturally dark and thick, which I don't think has ever been mentioned before. Hey, real blondes out there? Aren't your eyelashes/eyebrows the same color as your hair? This description is there to explain that even though Jessica has been crying, her mascara isn't smeared! Another Wonder Twin power - waterproof makeup! Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline... Maybe she's just a Wakefield)
Jessica says, "I know you think I'm just a dizzy freshman girl. ...Okay, well maybe I am sometimes. But that doesn't have anything to do with my age. On some level, I'll probably be a dizzy freshman girl until the day I die." Aww. He pretty much says it's only his job keeping them apart (liar! I read the title!) and drives toward her dorm. Jessica thinks (disturbingly) about Louis becoming essential to her happiness before he drops her off. Jess, sweetie, Bella Swan just called and said to knock it off. Something about severe dependency on guys not being attractive? I wrote down the number in case you wanna call back.-
-
Over in B-plot land, Liz is watching Todd and Daryl Cartright play basketball. Daryl is beating him 6-0 when Todd gives up. Daryl teases him a little bit, and Todd asks about his slump last year. Daryl immediately hints that he had fun, but they should leave. Miss Can't-Read-A-Hint-If-It's-In-Size-72-Font Wakefield jumps in. She exposits about how Daryl's game fell apart, and Todd asks if it was drugs. This pisses Daryl off because he has NEVER done drugs, EVER! DRUGS ARE BAD, MMKAY?!!
Liz says she does think something happened. Daryl more or less invite-argues them in so the neighbors don't hear her theories. The neighborhood, by the way, is described as pretty much any "Poor Neighboorhood" stereotype you have in your heads. Daryl's house inside is spotless, though - cleaned and domesticated, kid's drawings on the fridge, etc. He asks that they get to the point. Elizabeth comes out with it. Did someone pay him to lose? Daryl tells her to leave.
-
Winston is sitting at his desk with a copy of tomorrow's physics test in there, which he stole. It doesn't mention this, but I remember the "study guides" he went to pick up last book being just one paper that says "Everything from page 1 to page 175." I love Winnie, but ha!
When he saw the exams, Winston figured that the best he will do is a D in physics unless he aces the test. (Yo, Winnie? If you're intelligent enough to calculate that in a few seconds, couldn't you study and honestly pass the test?) This is totally unacceptable in his family. Even Cs aren't good enough. Even Bs are just barely allowed. Seriously? If the Egberts are that strict, how did our Winnie turn out so normal? :\ I wanna kick his folks in the throat. Still doesn't excuse what he's about to do, though.
He has flashes of Shit Going Down if he gets an F. Yelling, screaming, calls to various family members, blaming television and themselves and school. (Today they'd blame stuff like Facebook and smartphones and texting.) He figures they'd blame themselves before blaming too much time with Denise.
Whoa. Back up. Let me reread that. "And then they'd blame themselves. 'Where did we go wrong?' his mother would wail. 'Did we push too hard?'" YA THINK? [/mileystewart]
I mean, yeah, obviously he spent too much time with his girlfriend - an easy thing for college boys to do - but if he's thinking cheating outranks getting even a B in a class, something seriously went wrong with Mr and Mrs Egbert's parenting skills.
Winston thinks that if his parents blame too much fun, they might move him to another school that focuses more on academics. And having to leave Denise gives him this pain in his heart that "practically [knocks] him to the floor." (Again with the dependency?) So he really only has the option of cheating. *head shake* Win, no, dude. *sighs*
-
Chapter 2
Jessica gets home and picks up one of the trashy romances by her bed, amazed that she ever thought something so phony and cheesy was real. The plot and emotions within are as silly as the cover, she thinks. Okay. Yeah. I'll buy - barely - that Jessica reads Harlequins, but I doubt she's dumb enough to believe it's real love in there. Liz maybe, with the literary gems she churns out. Guys? Is Jess reading for the Porno-Lite scenes? Is this a reference to actual sex thoughts? :o In OUR Sweet Valley?
She throws the book away and knows she'll never be happy with fake love stories again now that she's found her true love 432. (True Love 432 not to be confused with True Love 982, 281, 117, or 347.) Despite the barrier between her and Louis, they have to find a way to be together!
-
*deep announcer voice* And now back to Todd and Elizabeth, Girl Detectives.
They're still trying to get a solid answer out of Daryl about the alumni money, but they don't wanna get him into any trouble. Todd says that the money was supposedly used for flooring and lockers, but bullshit, no replacements have been done. Daryl is offended; they want him to say he took money to fix games, but they're not there to get him into any trouble? The bullshit meter from my last recap rings so loud, it crosses over into the SV universe and dances circles around them till Todd Todd-Punches it back into my imagination. Daryl then asks why they came to him for this stuff, and Todd was like, "Cause you were the biggest example we could think of." Daryl's internal monologue: Gee, thanks.
Todd asks how much money he got; Daryl gets piiiiiiisssed. His ire is quickly squashed when a little eight year old girl walks in. Omg, you guys. Listen to this description. The [girl opened the door with some difficulty and walked in]. Her little head had two long, dark braids, each of them tied with a bright blue ribbon that matched her freshly pressed blue jumper. On each leg she wore heavy metal braces attached to corrective shoes, and she walked with the help of crutches. Dude. Make her blind, too, just to reinforce the sadness! On a funnier note, I know I'm supposed to imagine her as this poor little girl version of Tiny Tim (Tinny Tim? :P), but all I can picture is Jimmy Valmer, complete with the stutter. :P
The girl is Lucy, Daryl's little sister. In keeping with the sob story Tinny Tim thing, I shall call her Little Lucy. She points out the drawings on the fridge that she did, and gives one to Todd. Todd says he'll put it in his room and think of her when he sees it, which is totally sweet and not creepy at all. She says don't think of her, think of Daryl - he doesn't have friends over, and could you guys come over again? PILE IT ON, GHOSTWRITER. I'm playing the world's smallest violin. Little Lucy exits.
Cue awkward silence. Daryl admits that his father and mother are both deceased and taking care of his siblings takes a lot of time. He didn't have time to practice, and it affected his game. This is actually understandable and, I bet, the case with a lot of sports players who have siblings. Todd doesn't think so and calls bullshit. He then says that maybe someone threatened Daryl's siblings to get him to screw his game up. Daryl says that nobody forced him into anything, and T/L get up and leave.
-
Louis is at his beach-front condo, watching the storm. The sea is this weird emotions-as-weather mirror that is as out of control as his heart. Louis goes to get tea in darkness, because he doesn't wanna turn on a light and signal to his crazy ex-wife (spoiler!) that he's there. At one point, he thinks he smells rose perfume and gets all scardyfied. Then he realizes it's okay - it's just the smell from the scented candles he burned when he first moved in. Wait a minute. Dude's ex wife is notorious for wearing rose perfume. So, you need a scent for your new condo and you CHOOSE THE SAME FRICKING SCENT?!! Moron. He kinda deserves what he gets in #17. Also, scented candles? Are we sure he isn't gay? Wouldn't most men just like, Febreeze if they gave two shits at all about the mustiness?
Louis goes out on the deck to sit and watch the storm with his tea. He thinks about how long it's been since he's 1-been in love and 2-been loved back. He muses about how Jessica has pierced his tender and vulnerable heart, and how his feelings for her are "almost unbearably painful and at the same time, unbearably pleasurable." Kinda how we feel when we go back and reread this stuff after we've grown up. "Yay! Memories! But ow! Cheesy dialogue/plots/descriptions!" He squeezes the mug and breaks it in frustration.
-
Chapter 3
Ugh. Elizabethland again. She and Todd are on their way back to SVU in the storm and stop at a snack cafe, but it's closed for repairs. ElizaTodd figure it's easier to just eat out of vending machines in the lounge. They sit down in a corner and try to put the pieces together. Todd says at one point that all he ever got was "a stupid parking spot - [and his] good friend Elizabeth Wakefield spattered my name all over the news and got me kicked off the team." BURN! Liz just kind of Elizabeths that it was more than that, and not fair. I couldn't care less about the sports privileges story, but anytime I get a chance to disagree with Lizzie the Holiest, I'm gonna. GO TEAM TODD! He wonders why someone would agree to fix games, and Elizabeth suggests things like needing new braces for Little Lucy's Little Legs. She suggests making a list of other players who screwed up and disappeared. Todd's like "Story dangerous maybe! Liz girl! Liz no take chance! Liz wait till Tom get back!" Brief explanation about where Tom's been. I don't really know or care, but it has something to do with a new sports network and reporters, blah blah boringcakes. Elizabeth says that they should call Gin-Yung and promises not to involve her in danger. Todd agrees.
A few hours later, Todd/Elizabeth/Gin-Yung are at a coffeehouse, where Gin-Yung asks Liz to play her and Todd's song in the jukebox. Liz says she'll play her and Todd's song as well. Geez, no wonder Gin-Yung is insecure about Liz and Todd with Lizzie doing crap like that. :\ Liz walks away, Gin voices her uncertainties, Todd reassures her that nothing's happening. He fills her in about getting jumped on his way to meeting with T. Clay Santos, and says he doesn't want her to be any more involved for her safety. *eyeroll* She protests that they need her, because he doesn't even know who jumped him. It had to have been someone working with Santos, because duh. She calls him dense and it makes me smile. Usefulness proven, she asks again to be involved. He refuses again and promises that she'll get an exclusive interview when everything is done, and kisses her.
-
Chapter 4
Isabella, Jessica, and the sorority girls are sitting at breakfast, talking about how cool it is that Bruce/Lila are moving in together. Jessica tunes out the girls' chatter and thinks of Louis and the refrain of "Love Hurts," one of her favorite songs.
Louis walks into the cafeteria, and the sisters go into a tizzy about how cute he is, sans Jessica. Alison calls him over to sit with them, and when he sees Jessica, he spills his coffee. Yeah, inconspicuous! Nothing wrong with that at all! Alison asks if they can audit a lecture to see if they like the subject as much as they like him. Classy. He points out that Jessica's in the class, and how was that essay he assigned? Jessica takes a big sip of coffee, forgetting how hot it was, and scalds her mouth. "She swallowed and moaned loudly."
...I propose a new drinking game. Anyone doing recaps, or rereading old books, please note any sentences that would be PERFECTLY at place in an erotic story. Cause that sentence is making me giggle so much I might just spill my own coffee. Tee-hee!
Louis just reacts by saying not to be dramatic, he's not that bad, and the girls giggle (although I'm sure not about the loud moaning innuendo). Jessica blushes and says she has to leave, to, uh, return a book! Yeah, that's right, she's gotta go to the library! See ya! Louis watches her hurry out and wants to follow, but thinks that he has to wait a bit before leaving as well so the other girls don't think anything. They talk on about being Thetas, and he doesn't pay much attention, thinking instead that this is Jess's world, and he doesn't have any right to pull her out of it and into his hell. He remembers their makeout and wonders if anyone saw them, absentmindedly rubbing his forehead. Isabella asks if anything's wrong, and he's like "Nope. Just trying to figure out what I did with some papers. Gotta go find them before class!"
-
Mark Gathers walks around campus, sees people who ignore him, gets mad, sees Alex, gets madder at himself, and leaves. Except the ghostwriter dragged that sentence into four and a half pages. That's a few minutes of my life I'll never get back, Ghostie!
-
Chapter 5
Back to Winston. Our fearful hero is preparing to cheat. :( I am so sad. As Stark goes over the typical exam instructions, Winston chews his pencil's eraser nervously. He worries that Stark counted the exams and noticed one was missing. I gotta ask something: Stark arranged to have a student pick up study guides in his office. So he leaves a guide on his desk. Which also has the exam questions. Yes, they were described as "partially hidden" in the last book under a stack of something, but still. Why wouldn't you lock those up if a student was going to be in your office? Jeez, he practically gave Winston permission to cheat!
Bah. Whatever. Winston chews too hard and bites the eraser, swallowing it and then coughing hard. He's allowed to go get water, and there's a kinda gross part where it describes the things he's swallowed in the past: crunchy doodle bugs (what?), cool marbles, a dollar fifty's worth of buffalo nickels. He briefly considers faking an allergic reaction to the eraser. He figures that makeups are always different and that way, it wouldn't be cheating. "Yeah, that's what he would do. Winston Egbert was a class clown and a sometimes irresponsible student, but he wasn't a cheater. At least not yet. He still had his honor and his self-respect."
And then he does just that, feigns an allergy attack, goes home, studies for real and passes the make-up. And then he and Denise get married offscreen in Sweet Valley Confidential and have goofy little environmentalist, back-flipping, rubber chicken loving, down-to-earth, pretty, sweet, funny kids whose favorite joke is "Why did the chicken cross the road? To tell you to should recycle."
I'm lying. :( Winston talks himself back into it - "Did the rules matter when it came to love?" - and goes back into the room to cheat. BAD!! Kids, don't try this at home. Seriously. ADULTS, don't try this at home, either, actually.
-
Todd is in his room, calling ex-players to try to get a confession. Like anybody would confirm that over the phone. Todd's a dumb-ass. An Anonymous Threatening Voice calls and tells him to quit asking questions. Liz calls him after that and he fills her in.
-
Chapter 6
Jessica is helping Bruce and Lila move. She thinks that they make a nice couple. Damn straight. Lila and Bruce kiss, and Lila drops a glass. Neither one cares. :) Jessica takes the hint (how is she related to Elizabeth, who couldn't read one written on the back of her eyelids?!) and slips outside to walk along the beach.
Jessica slowly walks toward Louis's condo, pretending to be nonchalant. She's in front of the house and looks up, seeing a woman with long black curls hanging onto to him. Louis realizes Jessica is watching, although Crazy Ex Wife (my initials! cool!) doesn't. Heartbroken, Jessica runs back.
Bruce and Lila have been "happily arguing" <3 over wallpaper samples. Apparently Bruce wants an astronomy-themed one, and Lila's thinks it's ugly. I call bull. After they hooked up in the wilderness disaster, Lila was all about re-creating the stars to the point where she had Jessica put them on her ceiling. She'd be all over that. Shenanigans! Lila notices that something may be up, but Jess blames sand in her eyes and cries into a towel. Aww. :(
-
Sometime later, Louis goes over to where Jessica's Jeep is parked. He gets there just as she's stepping outside and calls to her. She tells him to let her go, but he grabs her arm and hides her behind some sand dunes. They fall over on the ground, and sex it up.
Afterward, he swears that nobody can know. Jessica guesses it's because of "her". Louis thinks he smells roses and says that she has to leave. He drags her (again with the abuse? I was joking with the Twilight thing before, but dude!!) to her Jeep and pretty much pushes her inside (see?!). She's like :o :( and he promises he'll explain, but now isn't the time. He watches her drive away, but then sees a female figure down the beach watching her, too. Oooooooooh...
-
Chapter 7
Lila and Bruce are being impossibly cute and couple-y, discussing plans for the condo when Mrs Parker, the landlady, shows up. She says that the check bounced. Bruce admits he must have spent more than he meant to this month, and they can write another check. But first, could he and Lila talk in the kitchen? Ruh-roh!
He tells Lila to write a check. Lila can't, because her money is tied up with Tisiano in Italy; in the meantime, all she gets is her allowance from her father, and that's gone. Bruce admits that all he gets each month is the interest on his trust fund, and he spent it all this month. His uncle Dan is the trustee, and he can't get to the trust fund without Dan's permission. We get this exchange:
"Hey!" Bruce barked. "At least I'm not still getting an allowance from Daddy."
"That's right," Lila retorted sarcastically. "You're getting it from Uncle Dan."
This is why they're perfect for each other. They're both so spoiled and pandered to. I love it!
Bruce calls his uncle, and the uncle says that he knows what's going on with the bouncing checks thing. He also knows Bruce moved in with someone - what would a guy want with a set of silver? - and he's not going to let that happen. He thinks Bruce should leave the women alone; all the ladies want is money. Lila is offended, as she totally should be. Bruce is like "She's a Fowler, Uncle Dan!!" and the bastard uncle has never heard of them. I officially put Uncle Dan on my shit list. Can we declare a character anathema?
Butthole refuses to let Bruce have any money, because his room and board in Sigma house is paid for through the end of the semester. Bruce isn't having it. He wants to live with the woman he loves. Butthead: "Then let her pay the rent!" Grrrr. Lila and Bruce try to figure out what to do. They finally realize they have to live someplace cheap (horrors!) and plan to look for something the next day. Lila thinks it would be romantic to be poor for a while. Oh, Lila. I do love you so.
-
Chapter 8
Todd and Liz go to meet Santos. A couple men in black come to greet Todd and Liz, and bring them to meet Santos. They chat nicely for a bit, and Santos sorta admits he has an honorary diploma from SVU. ("My education has helped me to acquire a certain degree of success, and after I made some substantial contributions to [the school], they did me the honor of acknowledging my education.") Liz questions this, but he changes the subject. Hey, before we move on to the subtle-threat part of this scene, can we just point out that millions of students make "substantial contributions" to universities and colleges too, and THEY don't just get to have degrees without going to class! Nofe air! Nofe air!
Todd explains how he's having trouble getting back onto the team, and Santos is all "Done. I'll send a letter today." He walks Todd to the door, and hints that Todd could do him a favor by stopping all those calls. They could be dangerous to his health. Todd feels a ToddPunch coming on and just threatens Santos back. "Forget the basketball team thing. I won't have time, what with all the phone calls I plan to make." He and Liz storm out, Liz berating him for that last little burst of stupidity.
-
Winston has been called into Stark's office. Stark digs out Winston's exam and hands it to him. A+. He asks outright if Winston cheated, because 1- Winston was struggling with the class before and even begged for extra credit. 2- Winston never picked up the study guides. Study guides? Like, plural? All he left was a single note. BULL. Winnie may be a cheater, but Stark is a liar. I call draw!
Winston says that he must have forgotten to take the study guides, thus copping to being in the office. He says that Jessica let him in when she was waiting for Professor Miles (he and Stark share offices). He sees no out and admits (finally!) to cheating. Stark says he'll get an F, but seems to be genuinely sorry and sick about it, which is a nice touch. He doesn't know if Winston will be expelled, but his parents will have to come in for a talk and they do have to tell the administration. He says that he thinks Winston is a good guy who made a big mistake. Winston says that he's sorry. Stark says he is, too, and picks up the phone.
-
Chapter 9
Jessica is still in bed in the twins' dorm room, waiting (still) for Louis to call. Elizabeth comes in and asks if she's sick, but Jessica says she's just worn out from helping Lila and Bruce move in. Elizabeth Elizabeths, "I give the whole Lila-Bruce playing house thing 24 hours." Jessica protests that they're in love, and her sister Elizabeths, "Maybe, maybe not." Bitch. Jessica is pissed and calls Elizabeth on this. "You and Tom are in love and you say it's serious, but you always act like other people's relationships are just superficial crushes. Do you think you're the only person capable of falling in love for real?" GO JESSICA! Guys, I have to go now and hunt down a Team Jessica shirt. Brb. :D
Jessica runs to the bathroom, angsting over Louis and CEW. Liz comes after her and apologizes. The phone rings in their room, and Jessica races to catch it. Nobody there. She cries Louis's name, and the person hangs up. Liz asks who Louis is with a "sympathetic smile." (I personally think it's just her superior, I-knew-it smile.) Jessica lies that it's somebody in biology, and Elizabeth teases her. Jessica brushes her off and mentally begs the phone to ring.
-
Lila and Bruce are at a rundown three-story Victorian (are the Halliwells gettting new roommates??). That morning, Bruce called the nice apartment across from their beach condo, but it's already been rented. This one is a one-bedroom, one-bathroom place with an efficiency kitchen.
(Waaaaait a minute. *glances around* Living room... one bathroom... one bedroom... one kitchen the size of a walk-in closet with no door or wall separating it and the living room... I think these crazy kids are trying to rent my apartment!!) "It looks horrible," Lila says. I fume. (Just kidding, girl. Love you.)
They go in to look at the place. The landlady is a smoker, so we know she's not a character we wanna give two poops about. She takes them up to the third floor, and then to the attic. The apartment has no front hall, a scratched linoleum floor, fifth-hand-bought sofa and chairs, moth-eaten curtains, a teeny hallway, a sagging bed... The bedroom is tiny and has a slanted kitchen, the oven's burners are caked with rust and grease, and fingerprints cover the cabinets and fridge. Yikes. Sounds even worse than Cory and Topanga's apartment when they first moved in. Bruce is ready to flatout reject it, but Lila has apparently gone blind from the ugliness and says that it's wonderful, they'll take it.
-
Chapter 10
Louis is about to call Jessica. He thinks he hears somebody at the door, but no one is there ...except rose perfume. It reminds him he has no choice, and he calls Jessica. He tells her they can't see each other because it would damage his career, blah blah, she's a student. He forces himself to sound like a jerk and says that she's never been mature enough for him. She'll eventually realize it's a good idea to stop contact between them. Goodbye. He then bawls after he hangs up and thinks that Jessica doesn't know how dangerous it is to be with him, but he doesn't want her to find out.
-
Lila is preparing to roast a pan of vegetables when Bruce goes to get his stereo out of his trunk. Lila puts the pan in the oven and turns it on, then cleans up the peelings. I'm amazed Lila knows that much about cooking, honestly. Anyway, Bruce comes back in, and Lila says that the oven isn't hot - is it not working? Bruce says that they have to light the pilot, because it's a gas oven. He lights it, and gets comically blown across the room in a small blast. The oven was on spitting out gas for five minutes! Didn't she know anything?! Lila says that her maid just turns on the oven at home and that's that, which is quite reasonable for a girl grown up in a rich house. Bruce points out that her oven at home is electric. He also acts like she's an idiot for not knowing the difference between gas and electic ovens, getting him dangerously close to being put on my List. Lila doesn't care what the difference is and storms into the bathroom. He begs her to let him in to get some ointment for his "third degree burns" (oh, Bruce), and why is she giving him a hard time?
HEY, BRUCE!
I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you. Here...
(Dude, don't piss off a Lila fan.)
Anyway, he tells her that the kitchen is on fire, come out! She finally does and sees black smoke filling the kitchen. Lila races to the phone, but there's no dial tone. DUN DUN DUUNNNN!
-
Chapter 11
Winston heads home and sees Denise. She wants to go see a Marx Brothers film festival, but he says no, not tonight, they need to talk. Winston admits to cheating, and she is furious, slapping him. "Don't blame me for your mistakes. Be a man for once." She runs out and Winston cries.
-
Back in Best Couple Ever Land, Lila and Bruce are cuddling on the sofa, recapping the previous offscreen action for us. Basically, that pan of veggies caught fire, and created enough smoke to scare the hell out of them. Bruce ointment-ed his singed eyebrows, went out for pizza, and got caught in a rainstorm on the way back. They then had dinner with wet pizza, tap water, and candles.
Awwww, they are so sweet! Kinda reminds me of that movie Jessica gave somebody for an engagement present (Michael/Maria in #34? Steven/Cara in #83? Can't remember!!) about a newlywed couple making it work.
Now, though, Lila's mentally redecorating, pointing out things to replace and throw out once she has her money affairs in order. Bruce, on the other hand, is thinking about his money: If Uncle Butthole is determined enough, he could redo the trust fund dividends and keep Bruce on a small amount of money for a while. Lila doesn't give a damn- it's awful, yeah, but as long as they're together, she's happy. Aww!
The candle's been burning down, and finally sputters out, sending them into darkness right as they kiss. :) But because this is the Valley, something wacky must happen! And it does - a chunk of the roof caves in, and water pours into the apartment. There's an odd "funny" part where they seem to think someone dumped water on them and they jump up from the sofa. Look left - nobody there. Look right - nobody there. Look at each other in horror - then look up. A hole in the roof!
Ghostwriter? Um, keep in mind that with the hole there, water is pouring in...continually. I seriously doubt they'd think somebody actually dumped water on them. It'd be like standing in the shower and wondering "Who's spitting on me?!" Fail.
-
Jessica is lying in bed (again?!) and Liz walks in, asking if she's awake. Jess pretends to be sleeping, so Liz just quietly changes her clothes and leaves. After the door shuts, Jessica emos about how badly she hurts, in a physical way as well as the broken heart. "Maybe a person really could die from a broken heart. If so, she was knocking on death's door." Where is our sociopath?! I want our sociopath back!
-
Chapter 12
Elizabeth is getting ready for the next day -- she spent most of the night at the computer with Gin-Yung's information -- when the phone rings. It's Todd, saying Mark will meet with them in a few minutes. Liz hangs up and sees that Jessica is awake, but not planning to get up. She's not sick, she says, just tired of school. Elizabeth forces her to get up anyway and orders her to get showered and go to class. She asks what Jessica's first class is, jokingly about wanting to check on her. It's Medieval History. Oh snap! After Liz leaves, Jessica does get ready to go to class, planning on talking to Louis to change his mind.
-
Mark's about to turn tail and go home when Todd and Elizabeth show up. Todd's all congenial, of course, and Elizabeth? Well... "She didn't look unfriendly, but she looked like she didn't care too much for Mark Gathers." Bitch ruined his life - deserved or not, you call - and doesn't even have the grace to look awkward or embarrassed in front of him? She still acts holier-than-thou around him? HOW DID WE ALL WANT TO BE THIS CHICK BACK IN THE DAY?!
They go to a bakery with an outdoor cafe (have a conversation about a secret scheme outdoors, nice). Mark mentions the William White thing when Todd goes to get their coffee, and Liz not-so-subtly says "Yeah, but we didn't take it lying down..." Todd gets back and asks if anyone ever offered Mark money to play ball. Hey, what about that nice car he drives, hmm? Mark tells them that the guy at the dealership is an ex-ball player who likes jocks, and his uncle helped him with the down payment. He's getting mad. Nosy Liz! There's a wonderful descripton of her below.
He'd never liked Elizabeth much. He thought she was uptight, sanctimonious, and humorless. The type who was always sneering at people who weren't like her. Mark, you rock.
Todd then asks if anybody offered him money to lose. Mark thinks they're just trying to completely bring him down and lunges at Todd to punch him.
-
Scene break! We cut to Lila, who's working her ass off scrubbing the bathtub. She also changed rain-catching buckets, mopped up the mess, and swept and mopped the bathroom. Aww, our girl just keeps on winning. She could easily have blackmailed a sorority sister into doing that, but she did it herself. <3 She gets ready to take a nice bubble bath and climbs in. The water starts getting colder; not enough hot water. Lila's determined to enjoy it anyway and lays back with what's left.
Cue the wacky "bad timing!" scene. A workman enters the apartment, and Lila yelps in surprise. He apologizes, saying he didn't think anybody was there; he's there to fix the roof. A knock on the door. It's the phone guy! He says he needs a check for $234 (last tenant skipped out) before he'll hook it up. Is there anybody that can vouch for them to say they just moved? Maybe the landlady? Lila says she's out of town, and the first workman cuts in, saying he needs to get to work. Lila slips underwater in frustration. SHE'S NAKED, GUYS. GIVE HER A BREAK! At least go downstairs till she finishes her cold bath! You and your hot showers and working roofs and phones...
-
Oh, this scene was so boring, I didn't even wanna read it, let alone recap it. Basically Tom's feeling guilty at the conference because it's no fun without Elizabeth. Oh, come on. Without Elizabeth, everything is fun! Including but not limited to: proctology/gynecologist exams, traffic jams, dental checkups, broken bones, bounced checks, sudden rainstorms when you didn't wear your jacket, divorce, IRS audits, the stomach flu, a bird poopin' on your car, getting fired... etc.
-
Chapter 13
Jessica is on her way to class when Isabella cuts in. She's super curious about the class now that she met Professor Miles and drags Jessica toward the lecture hall. She teases Jessica about "do you still want to stay out of love [when there are cute guys like Professor Miles around]?" Jessica is close to tears, but knows "Isabella had no idea she was being cruel [and] would be horrified if she realized her words were like a knife in Jessica's heart." So Isabella manages to stay off notice.
Louis walks in, looking like he was literally running late. He 's obvs in a bad mood and starts a lecture on chivalry, and what it meant both back in Medieval Times and what it means now, blah blah. During the class, Jess's misery turns to fury - what right does he have to talk about honor and courage when he's a coward about love?
-
Over in the Shabby Apartment of Amour, the workman finishes the roof and gives Lila a business card, telling her to call if the roof doesn't hold. He gives her the bill, because she can pay him and then get reimbursed by the landlady. Lila realizes she can't pay, and the workman agrees to bill the landlady directly before giving her a $10 for her and Bruce to get a meal. Before Lila can protest, he leaves. She's stunned (and literally cries one single tear) at his kindness. He wasn't rude, just a nice man who'd tried to help.
She looks at the apartment with renewed eyes. It isn't a craphole after all - it's the love nest she and Bruce had dreamed of. They can make it work! She goes to take another bath, planning to use good thoughts to keep her warm in the cold water. But .... ooops! No water at all. :( Poor Lila!
-
Winston, his parents, and Professor Stark have to meet with Professor Stark and Dr. Stratton, head of the Freshman Disciplinary Council. As it turns out, Stratton is nicer than we think he's going to be. Because Winston has otherwise impeccable behavior and high school records, he's willing to put him on academic probation for the rest of the year. If nothing else happens, they'll erase this from his record. Sweet! Let him off the hook! :)
Of course, Winston's father is Not Happy about this and demands a more stronger punishment. If he's not punished more severely, who's to say he won't do it again? Make him a man! (Winston and I both want to know what this "be a man" business is about. Cheating/not cheating has nothing to do with manliness or toughness, and everything to do with integrity/honor/honesty/etc. Be a man? Does that mean Win should have marched up to Professor Stark and said "Give me an A on this test or I'll break you in HALF!! GRR!"?) He suggests throwing Winston into the ROTC, because his character needs molding. Winston hilariously says that his character is "moldy enough already" for him to be in here. Nobody laughs. I always smile at that part, though, buddy. <3
-
Chapter 14
Tom's calls Liz again and this time gets her, but she's not paying much attention. Tom plays with the phone cord (OMG, YOU GUYS, A CORDED PHONE REFERENCE!) and thinks she's irritated with him. He vows not to leave town after an argument again.
-
Elizabeth was actually working on the story with Todd when she was on the phone. They look at a bunch of statistics and records that Gin-Yung helped them get, and it proves the story to ElizaTodd, but it's not hard evidence; statistics can show anything. They need a witness.
Todd suggests going back to Daryl, and Elizabeth looks pointedly at the black eye Mark gave him. Oh! I guess he did punch him! That last scene of theirs cut off so quickly, I assumed Wacky Hijinks would have taken place by the time we cut back. Then I forgot all about it. But yeah, Todd doesn't think Daryl's a hitter.
-
Chapter 15
At Daryl's, Todd lays all of his cards on the table and tells him what they suspect. Somebody paid him to lose, he needed the money but wasn't threatened or coerced, he doesn't have an excuse for his part in it if he tells the authorities, so he has nothing to gain by talking. Todd wants to know why he's protecting "Them." They paid for something for Little Lucy, so it's done and he doesn't owe them anything. Daryl admits that they're still paying - he and his siblings go to top doctors, and bills get paid. He won't tell that to the authorities, though. He storms into the house, and ElizaTodd follow.
Todd says he's not judging, just trying to help. Here's Daryl trying to parent three younger siblings, with no job prospects. He needs to go back to school, but can't without a scholarship. Daryl then has a very good point that made me tear up a bit: "A scholarship won't make any difference. Everybody's always saying the only way out is to go to school. School? Who's got time for school? I'm running around twenty-four hours a day, trying to keep up with those kids. You can't imagine what it's like to raise these kids. I've got to deal with gangs, drugs, guns, liquor. ...I've got to be here. I'm the only thing standing between those two boys and all the mess out there." Poor guy.
-
Tom calls Gin-Yung and asks what's going on with Todd and Elizabeth. She says that nothing is romantically, but she can't tell him what they're doing (story wise). She also promises not to tell ElizaTodd about Tom's stalkerish phone call.
-
Speaking of ElizaTodd... They've tracked down some guy named Chuck. Oh, by the way, he's not going to SVU, but to an art school. He also has longer hair than he did at Sweet Valley, 'cause we must keep stereotypes alive and well! They approach him and ask if he was ever paid to shave points; they aren't there to arrest him, but to help. Chuck says he doesn't care that he's not playing. He wanted to be an art major, but Daddy said no. He enrolled in the business program-- Elizabeth catches on. He was paid to drop out of sports and transfer, all expenses paid. There was no fear for Chuck to get caught point-shaving, because if he did, his father would be disgraced. Chuck smirks but won't admit to it legally. And hey, if ElizaTodd are free tonight, could they come to his art opening?
Todd shakes his head and realizes that what Santos does is find a weakness or need, and exploit it. He figures the reason he was never approached (besides the fact that these stories were written on the fly and not planned out well in advance [like the Nibbler thing in Futurama's first episode]) was that he didn't have any easily identifiable wants or needs they could use.
I call foul (basketball joke!). Santos, here are a few lines you coulda used on the boy!
1. Hey, want some free Anger Management?
2. Hey, we're gonna hurt Liz if you don't do this.
3. Wanna get back on the team, no questions asked?
4. We can get you thrown out of school for Anger Issues / Todd Punching unless you do this.
5. Hey, we found your sisterbrother, but if you ever wanna see shehe alive again...
6. Liz is dating Tom now? Wouldn't you want to bring him down? We can if you...
Feel free to add more, guys!
-
Chapter 16
Jessica in Theta house, having dinner with the sisters. The phone rings; Isabella thinks it's Denise and goes to get it. Alison asks what's wrong, but Jessica says she's just distracted. Magda thinks this means a guy is involved, but Jessica doesn't want to talk. Then. We. Get. This. Line. Alison rolled her eyes. "We've all been bummed out over guys before. You don't have to act like the tragedy queen of SVU." EXCUSE ME, BITCH?! At this point in the Sweet Valley series, Jessica has had THREE dead boyfriends, an ex-husband / bitter divorce, a rape attempt, and so many more bad-luck-in-love-stories that my head is exploding trying to remember it all. Goddamn. What, are you required to have four dead boyfriends to get to act like the fucking tragedy queen? Three bitter divorces? Seven rape attempts or actual rapes? BACK OFF!
*breathes*
Jessica is offended, albeit not as much as she could be, and goes to leave. She passes Isabella, and says to tell Denise she's sorry she missed her. Isabella tells her Denise isn't coming - she and Winston broke up after he got caught cheating. And he cheated because if he flunked...we know this story... did it for Denise. Isabella thinks this is horrible, but Jessica considers it respectful - he gambled something important for love, right or wrong. Unlike Louis, who's too afraid to take any chance. Yeah, I wish my (imaginary) significant other would cheat for me!
Jessica hurries out to her car in the building storm (ooh, analogous) and trips. She scrapes her forehead and wipes the blood on her sweater before getting into the Jeep, thinking angry thoughts about Louis as she drives off.
-
Mark has gone to the Santos mansion. He meets up with him and is told "Call me T. Clay." Eff you, I'll call you Santa if I want. Mark is nervous and asks if Santa can get him on the team. He wants to go to school, but he'd need a job, and wants help getting one. Santa asks if he's been talking to Todd Wilkins lately; Mark says yes. He fills Santa in on what ElizaTodd wanted to know and admits he punched Todd. Santa laughs and says that he's going to try to get Mark back on the team. All Mark has to do is be the "official student assistant in the athletics department." His real "job" there is pretty much to spy on people. Santa gives him $500 for his first week's pay, as Mark leaves, he hears Santa calling someone to follow Elizabeth and spy on her.
Okay, I've tried so many times to get this to fit in one post, but it keeps not working. I think it's the bird pics (which I am NOT getting rid of). Part two coming ASAP!