How Sweet Valley Affected My Childhood
Hey everyone! The alternate title for this entry is "How Sweet Valley Ruined Affected My Childhood."
My apologies that it's not a recap! But hey, with SV Confidential so close to coming out (51 days!) I thought some more reminiscing was in order.
First let me tell you a little about myself - I started reading Sweet Valley books at the tender age of 7. My first one, was Sweet Valley Twins book #84 Romeo & 2 Juliets. I was hooked. However my mother, would not let me buy a single one. (Not even when they were at the junk market for $1!) She said, and I quote "I will not buy you those... Sweet Valley will be a 6 month phase!" I think she's eaten every one of those words. Several times. 18 years, 400 odd books, dolls, boardgames and other crap. (Apparently this anecdote still isn't funny when I remind her of it...)
Oh, and the
Anyways! I'd like to share with the fabulous community of 1bruce1 "How Sweet Valley Ruined My Childhood" (and please feel free to join in...)
The following are all completely true confessions of things I have done out of my obsession love of Sweet Valley.
Because of Sweet Valley, I have....
Thought that when I turned 16 my life would be so exciting and just generally, a-m-a-z-i-n-g. I was bitterly disappointed.
Developed a serious addiction to fake tan (Francine Pascal clearly hates pale skinned people as much as she hates fat people. We all know it's true... Hellloooo Lois Waller - seriously why make the fat chicks last name sound like "Whale".... that's just cruel.
Went to numerous book parades as either twin. (Always tried to coerce a friend into going with me... rarely worked!)
When I was 12 I started a Unicorn Club. So. Not. Kidding. We all had to wear purple to school - there were 6 of us. I was president.
Managed to get above Unicorn Club disbanded. (I would like to point out that no toupees were stolen...)
Sorted out my clothes into Jessica, Elizabeth and Lila drawers - this particular phase drove my mother nuts... she couldn't comprehend what the difference was, and why I couldn't put all the shirts together....
Had a pretty serious crush on a guy called Todd. Honestly. I think it was more the fact that his name was Todd rather than I was actually interested in him...
In my final year of high school, (you know, the most important year) I got up every morning at 5:30am to tape Sweet Valley High. (Because that was the stupid time they aired it!) And yes, I could have just let it tape and watched it later BUT if I got up I could cut the commercials, which made rewatching it better later!
Had the following email addresses: lizwakfield, sweetvalleygirl16.
I have been saving for a red jeep for a loooong time.... (I know it wasn't red in the books, but I loved it in red!)
In regard to the red Jeep I actually had this conversation last night :
Laura -"I'm looking at buying a Jeep"
Boyfriend- "Oh no! You don't want a Jeep! You want a Suzuki Swift"
Laura- "No... I'm pretty sure I want a Jeep. A red one."
Boyfriend- "I don't think it's a good idea. Why do you even want a Jeep??"
Laura- "I've wanted a Jeep for a lot longer than I've known you. I've just always wanted one"
Boyfriend- "Why?!?"
Laura- "If I told you, you'd kick me out of the car."
Boyfriend- "Oh God, it's some Sweet Valley thing isn't it..."
Dressed as Jessica Wakefield for my 9th, 11th and 14th birthdays.
Forced my best friend at the time to dress as Liz for above birthdays.
When I was 10 (and puff paints were cool... if they were ever cool...) I made a Sweet Valley High tshirt... and listed the names of the characters on the back... and included my name.
My mum made me a white sweatshirt with SVH on it in big red letters.
Took a copy of #59 In Love Again
To the hairdressers and asked to get my hair cut like Liz's in the cover.
Wanted to be a journalist. Attempted to start a school paper.
I romanticise everything way too much. Also I thought boys would be much cooler at 16. False hope Francine, false hope.
I have a bad habit of starting sentences with "Oh like that time in Sweet Valley...." only to look around and discover no one cares. (Okay, my friend Nicole cares... I'm pretty sure as far as friends go she's my soul mate.)
Forced family and friends to play the Sweet Valley High board game... this got harder of the years because you often can't trick the same people into playing twice. - Also having to do a shot of Jungle Prom Punch when you go to detention makes this game much more fun. (Funny anecdote: My boyfriend of nearly 4 years broke up with me - so okay, that part is not funny. My three closest girlfriends all rushed to my house, as I sat there crying on the floor with them trying to comfort me... after about an hour I came to the realisation that I had 3 friends there who would do just about anything to cheer me up.... So I went and got the board game.)
I have a instinctive mistrust of anyone called William. (Those SVU books scared the crap out of me!)
Secretly want to date someone called Bruce. (Unfortunately it seems anyone called Bruce is over 40...)
And yes I have been saving the best, and possibly most insane for last. For my year 12 visual communications assignment we had to redesign a product. So I redesigned the the covers of the Sweet Valley High books. Forced my friends to pose as the characters. Managed to make myself BOTH twins. Convinced my red headed friend that Enid wasn't that much a dweeb. (HA!) So now I present, my poor photoshopping skills (ok, I used paint and Word - I don't know how I passed...) some of the pictures from this photo shoot:
#8 Heartbreaker. This is the only completed cover. I'll just add in some pictures now from the photo shoot.
This was going to be for #6 Dangerous Love.
#3 Playing With Fire. Ignore the lack of shoes. I was only going to use it from the waist up.
Saved the best for last. This was my favorite shot. (Yes I'm totally aware of my lack of photoshop skills... :p) I think a dream of mine came true here. (And if you're wondering why Enid is a funny color - she didn't show up on the day and I had to edit her in later...)
Okay, so I'm seriously hoping I'm not the only one who has done mad things out of their love for Sweet Valley - so please join in and admit what Sweet Valley did to your childhood...
Hope you enjoyed my insane ramblings! :D
Laura xx
Also - I'm desperately trying to clear something up. I use the phrase "That's 137 kinds of awesome" or other variations of this and I can't for the life of me remember where it's from. Any insight would be appreciated!