The Unicorn Club #20 - In Love With Mandy
Highlights: Lila writes her own wedding invitation to “the most eligible cute guy in the world.” And, more importantly, NO LIZ. She isn’t even mentioned.
What is up with the cover, by the way? It is so not in the book. It looks like The Prince and Me for the pre-teen crowd. Anyhoo.
We begin with Lila entering Fowler Enterprises to beg for a larger allowance from her daddy. She spent the entire afternoon shopping and is over the limit on her credit card. Now, when I was in seventh grade, I didn’t even have a credit card, but apparently Lila’s worried because her dad occasionally puts his foot down when he thinks her daily spending has exceeded the day’s stock market earnings. However, she notes that he always caves in eventually.
Lila’s father is finishing up a meeting, so Lila goes to wait in his office. In it, she meets a dreamy guy. Let me quote his appearance so you can get the full effect of how dreamy he is: He was taller than Lila, with shoulder-length brown hair pulled back in a ponytail. He worse a white knit shirt and baggy, unironed khakis that broke over the toes of his funky black and white golf shoes. This sooo sounds like a dude I would avoid on the streets. Turns out, Mitchell Parsons is the son of the man Mr. Fowler is currently doing business with. He attends Lovett Academy, the most prestigious private prep school in the area, the school that will one day lower its standards and let in both Todd Wilkins and Courtney what’s-her-face.
Lila’s impressed by Mitchell going to Lovett Academy, but she’s happy at Sweet Valley Middle School, where she can be the richest girl there. She thinks about how Mitchell would make a great boyfriend.
Mr. Fowler and Mitchell’s dad come out of the meeting; they both look angry. Lila realizes this may not be a good time to ask about money, so when she’s alone with her dad, she instead asks if he wants to go out to lunch. He knows it’s a ruse and asks how much this lunch will cost him. Lila giggles and thinks that her dad is a sharp guy. Then, however, she grows concerned because if her dad and Mitchell’s dad don’t get along, her dad might not think that Mitchell is good boyfriend material.
We switch to Mandy Miller, who tells Jessica (Wakefield appearance!!) that she’s getting a part-time job (really? In 7th grade??). Jess is excited and asks if she’s going to caddy, work at the pro shop, or lifeguard. No, Mandy will be a kitchen assistant. Jess is disappointed.
Back to Lila. It’s the country club’s Halloween party! Since it’s a costume ball, Lila ordered a unicorn mask with a silvery horn in purple because, you know, it’s the official color of the Unicorn Club. She plans to wear it with a pair of purple jeans and a purple t-shirt. Hot? Or not? However, she finds a long purple silk dress and decides to wear that instead. THANK. GOODNESS.
At the ball, Lila’s pleased that her costume is the prettiest. Aaron Dallas is there… is he really rich enough to be a member of the country club? He guesses that Lila is a member of the Unicorn Club; Lila is amazed. Aaron hangs up his baseball cap on her horn. However, he’s not as cute to her as he usually is because Lila’s still thinking about Mitchell, so she doesn’t accept his invitation to dance.
Then! Mitchell the Dreamboat appears!! He invites Lila to go outside… to the driving range with him… to “play golf.” You can’t make this stuff up. Lila, afraid of offending her father by going off with Mitchell, says she’ll meet him outside in ten minutes. Then, she pulls aside Mandy, who’s working in the kitchen at this event, and convinces Mandy to pull a twin switch. They swap clothes, and Mandy hangs out at the ball, trying to avoid Lila’s dad.
When Mr. Fowler is coming her way, Mandy dives under the table. She gets pulled up by “the handsomest guy she had ever seen.” She says he has a great tan. ‘Nuff said. He asks her if she lost a contact (Oh, I am swooning already). She says she doesn’t wear contacts. He looks surprised. They then proceed to dance, talk, and connect, having a great time together.
Meanwhile, Lila’s outside and not having such a great time. Lila’s trying not to show off her lack of skill on the golf course and makes the mistake of saying that her dad does not like Mitchell’s dad. Mitchell’s angry. He leaves. Lila then realizes that she’s been out there for over an hour and she’d told Mandy that she’d be back in 20 minutes.
“Prince Valiant” - the dude Mandy’s been chilling with - spills pink liquid down the front of Mandy’s dress (a strategic pour of Magical Vodka?). Mandy leaves to clean up in the bathroom and runs into Lila, who blames the lateness on Mandy and her failure to leave the dance floor. Nice save, Lila.
Following their clothes switch, Mandy returns to the kitchen, where her boss asks where she’s been all night. Mandy says she got sick and then fell asleep in the ladies lounge. For some reason, the boss is sympathetic because she thinks Mandy had “stage fright.” Good grief.
“Prince Valiant” then comes up to Mandy, who he doesn’t recognize because she’s no longer in the unicorn costume, and asks for club soda because he spilled something on himself.
Back to Lila, who is leaving with her dad. “Prince Valiant” comes up to her and begs for her name. Turns out, he’s THE Brandon Jones. He was Sweet Teen Magazine’s “most eligible cute guy” three years in a row! And considering the fact that I think he’s supposed to be thirteen, this would mean that he was a “most eligible cute guy” when he was ten. Where can I sign up for a subscription? Or call CPS?
The next morning, Brandon appears at the Fowler mansion in a red Rolls Royce. Brandon tells Lila she’s the person he’s been searching for for a long time. No, it’s not what you’re thinking - he wants her to help co-chair a fundraiser for helping kids. Lila and I are disappointed. Lila is shocked - shocked! - that someone as hot as Brandon could have had cancer. Because, you know, it’s the “ugly disease”. Like everything else in Sweet Valley.
Mandy calls Lila later to ask who “Prince Valiant” was. Lila makes Mandy feel awful by saying, “He’s one of the richest kids in the country and you’re… well…” End of thought. But it gets the message across. Lila then says that Brandon thought that Mandy was Lila and that he only buttered her up because he wanted Lila to co-chair the fundraiser because she’s Lila. Mandy is disappointed and, for some reason, believes Lila. She even agrees to tell Lila everything they talked about at the ball so Brandon never has to know about her. Pushover.
The next day, the headline of the Lifestyle section of the local newspaper says, “Lila Fowler to co-chair Fundraiser with Brandon Jones”. This is a fundraiser by kids, for kids, and their involvement gets it to make headline news. Mandy is upset because she had cancer (did you know?).
At the Unicorner, everybody is telling Lila how lucky she is. Lila begins planning the executive committee for “Helping Hands,” the organization. The Unicorns are all in, and Brandon is bringing a bunch of his boys from Lovett.
Later, at the first meeting of the executive committee at Fowler mansion, Brandon tells Lila that it’s not going too well. Lila is confused and looks around. I quote: She had thought the meeting was a big success. Brandon had brought four guys from Lovett Academy and, except for one guy who had acne, they were all cute and related to somebody famous, or rich, or famous and rich. I agree. Guys - or girls - with acne = gross. Of course, I’m saying that as I’m dabbing Proactive on my pepperoni pie face. Anyway, Lila doesn’t understand what isn’t going well because they put on a CD and the group is starting to dance, so she offers to send out for salmon.
They’re trying to organize an event that people will be excited about and want to attend, bringing in a lot of money. Mandy arrives straight from work, which means she hasn’t had time to primp, and runs into Brandon, who doesn’t recognize her. Lila comes up to Mandy and Mandy suggests to her that they should host a ball called the Dreams Come True Ball, where everyone dresses up like what they want to do when they grow up. Lila loves the idea, and Mandy tells Lila that Lila should be the one to suggest it because she’s co-chair. Lila agrees; everyone is thrilled with the idea. Brandon takes Lila’s hands in his.
Lila think that she and Brandon must have something in common besides the fact that they’re both attractive. She hopes this is making Mitchell jealous.
When everyone else has left, Lila has a list of a bunch of things that need to be done. To start, she decides to write “the most important invitation she would ever send”. Actually, she writes five letters. They are all too good to paraphrase. See:
Mr. George Fowler cordially invites you to the wedding of his daughter, Lila Fowler, to Brandon Jones, the Most Eligible Cute Guy in the World.
Dear Daddy, Brandon and I have eloped. We know we are young, but we’re rich and beautiful. Don’t worry, everybody says we are perfect for each other and a fabulous looking couple.
Dear Jessica, Brandon and I are having the most wonderful time in Paris. He likes to shop almost as much as I do. We’ve had to buy six more sets of luggage to hold all our stuff. Brandon adores me, and we are incredibly happy. I’m sure you’ve seen our picture in all the magazines. Paris Scene Magazine voted us the most perfect couple - and - the best dressed.
Dear Rachel, Now that Brandon and I are grown up, live in Europe, and have two beautiful and talented children who look just like us, I realize how sad and pathetic your life must be. I am almost ashamed that I have so much and you have so little, but really, Rachel, I was always much cooler than you, so, like, what did you expect?
Dear Mitchell, No, I won’t leave Brandon and run away with you. I know you’ve loved me all your life, and it’s truly tragic that you’ve never gotten married or even gone steady with another girl since I ran away and married Brandon in the seventh grade (we were impetuous children but oh so in love!). I could never leave Brandon because he adores me. He showers me with gifts. He tells me how fabulous I am every day and you were a total creep, so eat your heart out!
Since Lila’s wasted a bunch of time writing these letters and doesn’t want to do any more, she calls Mandy and has Mandy write the press release for her.
At the next executive meeting, Lila is jealous because Mitchell is paying a lot of attention to Mandy (will she ever realize that guys may occasionally like people for more than money?). Meanwhile, Brandon and Lila are having trouble talking about stuff. Brandon asks Lila how she got so interested in helping others. Lila thinks (and I quote!), She didn’t have anything against helping other people, but it wasn’t something she went out of her way to do, unless there was a gorgeous guy like Brandon attached to the project. The only time Lila feels comfortable with Brandon is when they’re getting their photo taken.
Mitchell notices that Mandy is being put in charge of everything. She makes the decorations, writes the press stuff, finds a caterer, etc.
Lila thinks that Brandon is her boyfriend. I don’t know how she thinks this.
At another executive meeting, Mandy arrives looking cute! Lila is immediately concerned. She whisks Mandy to her room and dresses Mandy in beige silk so that Mandy now blends in with the beige carpeted room on a beige sofa against a beige wall. Are you telling me that with Mr. Fowler’s income, beige is the best he could do?
During the meeting, Brandon realizes there’s a lot that still needs to be done… and Lila loudly blames it on Mandy!!! Mandy is rightfully pissed. Mitchell tries to make her feel better. Lila and Brandon leave to go do yet another photo shoot. While they’re at this photo shoot, Lila notices that females of every age primped a little when they saw Brandon. He was that good looking. Ew. Just, ew.
Mandy is so mad that she resigns. Lila then tries to bribe Mandy by offering to pay her triple what she makes at the country club and throwing in the beige pant suit. Mandy is even more pissed at this! But then Mandy realizes that she should finish what she started and that the thing is for a good cause, so she rejoins the committee. She goes to the Fowler mansion for the next meeting; Lila isn’t there yet, but Brandon is there by himself, folding the remaining tissue flowers for decorations. They bond and have a great time chatting, but Mandy does not admit that she works at the country club because obviously that’s gross, and Lila’s convinced Mandy that Brandon will look down on her for being a working girl. Mitchell arrives and Mandy leaves.
But then, Mandy realizes that she shouldn’t be ashamed of working. In fact, the only one who should be ashamed is her employer for hiring a 13 year old. But Mandy doesn’t realize that. Anyway, Mandy returns to Fowler mansion and confronts Brandon and Mitchell, telling them that she can’t do anything with them because she works in the kitchen of the Sweet Valley Country Club. She also tells Brandon that she met him at the Halloween Ball - she doesn’t mention that it was her in the unicorn costume, but she says it was her who helped Brandon with getting club soda to fix his spill. Mandy falls silent and waits for Brandon to tell her it’s okay. However, Brandon’s face turns “paler and paler and, to Mandy’s horror, his blue eyes hardened.” She runs out, appalled and upset!
Am I the only one thinking that Brandon is not much of a catch? Most eligible cute guy or not?
Mandy whines to Jessica about this while they shop for outfits for the Dreams Come True Ball. Jessica tells Mandy that Mitchell likes her; I’m excited because Mitchell seems like an okay guy, but Mandy’s not happy about it.
We cut to Brandon and Lila being chauffeured to another interview in L.A. Brandon asks Lila if he’s a snob. She says she doesn’t know (!!!).
Mandy goes to work and finds out she has to work the day of the Dreams Come True Ball. Oh no!!
In a scene worthy of Steven/Jessica creepiness, Mandy puts on the “smock” she bought to wear to the costume ball, and her little brother whistles and says, “Wow, you look gorgeous.” Now, Mandy’s supposed to be thirteen, max. Maybe it should be Ned whistling at her?
Mandy gets a bouquet of tissue flowers delivered to her, just like the ones she’d made with Brandon. They’re from Mitchell. Mitchell calls her immediately after the flower guy leaves and asks if she received his flowers. Dude is anxious. She tells him she can’t go to the ball with him; she has to work. He appears to be the only one in Sweet Valley who does not care that she works as a kitchen assistant.
Brandon told Mitchell to pick up the rest of the ball information at Lila’s house. When he arrives, Lila freaks out and tells her dad that he’d better be nice to Mitchell. Mr. Fowler is surprised. Mitchell overhears Lila’s whole conversation with her dad. Mr. Fowler greets Mitchell in a friendly tone and tells them not to stay up too late. Mitchell takes the papers from Lila and leaves.
Mr. Fowler confronts Lila and asks why she thinks that he and Mitchell’s dad are enemies. Turns out, they’ve known each other since fourth grade and were roommates in college. The business deal of Mr. Fowler buying one of Mitchell’s father’s companies is not a big deal because he still owns several companies, and they just argue because that’s part of the fun. Mr. Fowler mutters that Lila has been watching too much TV if she thinks he disapproves of she and Mitchell being friends.
The night of the ball!! Five hundred people show up. Again, Brandon asks Lila if he comes across as a snobby rich kid. Lila begins to think that this is really about her, so she asks if he thinks that she’s a snob. He says no very quickly; we all know what that means.
People are showing up in the costumes of what they want to be when they grow up. Brandon is wearing the costume of “Prince Valiant”. Lila and Brandon are supposed to give a speech, and Brandon asks if they can wait until Mandy shows up. Apparently, he didn’t get the memo that Mandy had to work. Lila tries to come up with an excuse for why Mandy isn’t there, but Mitchell tells the truth and says that Mandy had to work.
Brandon is confused and densely asks why Mandy didn’t tell him. Lila finally matures and tells Brandon that it wasn’t her that he met at the country club; it was Mandy. She then tells them that Mandy did everything for the fundraiser - including surviving cancer!
Cut to Mandy in the kitchen. Her boss assigns Mandy some chores to complete for the evening, and when the boss moves aside, Mandy spies “Prince Valiant” standing there!! She rushes forward into his arms. Brandon tells her how happy he is to discover that she was the unicorn at the Halloween Ball. Brandon explains that he felt guilty because he “was supposed to be in love with Lila.” Mmmhmm. Mandy’s excited because he had a choice between her and Lila and he picked her! There’s the self-centered Unicorn spirit!
Brandon helps Mandy with all of her chores, and Mandy’s boss says that he can now take her to the party. They jump into his red Rolls Royce and go back to Fowler mansion, where the party is. Brandon goes up on stage to give his speech and drags Mandy with him, since she organized so much. He tells the crowd that he survived cancer, proving once and for all that cancer is not an ugly person disease. The audience is shocked by this revelation. He thanks everyone on the executive committee but especially Mandy because “Mandy Miller is the kind of girl who makes me believe that dreams really can come true.” He kisses her.
The last lines of the book: The masked unicorn and the prince were together at last. And it was a dream come true.