R is for Revenge
Like all of the super thrillers books, this book is completely moronic.
The book starts with the entire Sweet Valley cheerleading squad trapped in the basement slowly drowning in a rising tide of water. Everyone is crying and freaking out and Jess is berating herself for being too stupid to have seen the signs that landed them here.
Jessica and the other cheerleader are practicing in a field and Jess and Heather, the other co-captain are bitching back and forth to each other. I’ve gathered that the book is happening after the Pom-Pom wars but I’m not sure how far after. But Jess and Heather hate each other’s guts and their bickering gets on everyone’s nerves. The girls start talking about their bfs and Jess says that she is happy to date around. Luckily for her she sees a cute guy with a camera walking down the field and start doing fancy cheerleading moves to catch his eye. Unfortunately, Heather has the same idea and both think they look sexy cart wheeling around. I bet they look stupid but nobody asked me.
Meanwhile Liz is in the office of Chrome Dome Cooper. She finds out that the photographer is named Brad and he is with Diane, a reporter from a national magazine. They doing a where on you now feature of the cheerleaders of 76 who won the national comp 20 years before the current squad. Diane was on the squad. Liz asked to help research and she is immediately thrilled, though put off by Brad who is all sleazy and flirty. We are reminded in this chapter that Liz is a perfect saint while Jess is a thoughtless skank.
Liz goes to the library and finds the assistant librarian, Nancy Swanson. Liz likes her even though she think she is a shy weirdo who only dresses in 70s style and listens to 70s music. Has anyone ever noticed that while Liz is oh so nice and likes everyone, she still manages all of their terrible flaws? Liz gets a great idea though, Jess was bitching that the squad has to get a staff advisor and Miss Swanson would be perfect. The squad agrees because she is quiet and won’t get in their way.
Liz is deep in her research for the article. Todd gets pissy because she won’t stop for lunch and they have a big fight. Dump him Liz, he’s a douche who gets mad whenever you aren’t completely devoted to him.
We found out that Nancy lives in house decorated in the 70s style. We also found out that she suffers from pounding noises in her head. This is favorite sign of the ghostwriters that someone is disturbed, I believe Margo suffered from the same thing. The pounding began after the first cheerleading practice.
Jess is dating Brad despite Liz’s warnings that he is sleeze.
Liz founds out that there was a mystery cheerleader on the 76 squad who no one wants to talk about.
The cheerleaders start thinking that Nancy is really cool, but sadly she is getting more bat shit. She paces the house and remembers how she begin to have spasms in her face. (No one ever says Tourettes in book but I’m assuming that is what she had. Probably didn’t want to get mail from people complaining about the stereotype people with Tourettes are crazy). She remembers that it started when she was a cheerleader and the other girls drove her from the squad because they thought she was a freak. While she is remembering, she starts mixing up cheerleaders of the past with the cheerleaders of today. This is a bad sign.
Weird toss away line. Todd comes into the newspaper room to drop something off for John Pfeifer. As in John Pfeifer the RAPIST. We are supposed to believe that after everyone found out he is a rapist, Liz would keep working with him on the paper. Or that Lila’s dad wouldn’t have hired a killer. Lame.
It seemed that Nancy was only mildly crazy but then we find out she is full on nuts because she has two kidnapped cheerleaders in her basement. Nancy is all happy and relaxed now that she is starting to get revenge though she does get mad when the girls cry loudly. The girls’ mom does call Jess to see where their daughters are but Jess is getting ready for a date and doesn’t care that her friends might be missing.
We find out that Nancy has caught two more girls. And she remembers more about how the girls didn’t want her on the squad. And the meanest mean girl of all, tried to steal her boyfriend, George. George tells Nancy that he was just trying to help her by making out with Loretta, which she is dumb enough to believe. But then she sees George in Loretta’s gold Camero. Oh noes.
Liz visits Loretta’s sister, Gina, with Diane and Brad. Gina tells them that her sister had been in a car accident with a guy named George and George died. The mystery cheerleader showed up at their house and blamed Loretta. After graduation, Loretta drank a bottle of vodka and went swimming in the quarry and that was the end of Loretta. Two problems with this scene. Diane doesn’t remember the accident and never found out about Loretta’s death. Either Diane is a real self absorbed bitch or the writers are so lame that they couldn’t think of a reason for Diane not to know this info. And everyone thinks that mystery girl is a big meanie for blaming Loretta for George’s death but it was her fault. And of course Liz has a big traumatic flashback to Sam’s death and how everyone thought it was her fault, which it kinda was.
Jess finds out that more of her friends are missing but instead of being worried, is pissed because she thinks they are having a big party without her.
Jess then decides to lie and tell her parents that she will be hanging out with the cheerleaders and go out with Brad instead. Sadly, Nancy is outside to kidnap her and because of her lies, no one will notice she missing for a while.
Now all of the cheerleaders are in the basement, wet, cold and tied up. Nancy comes down occasionally to freak out and call them the old cheerleaders’ names. They try to reason with her but nothing doing. Jessica does have an epiphany that she is a mean girl like the other cheerleaders. She decides that she will be nice to everyone now, a vow I’m sure she will keep. Everyone think that Nancy is going to shot them but it turns out she was getting gags for them. Useless since they all spit them out five minutes later. Lila is horrified that polyester touched her precious skin. The water is getting deeper but somehow the girls are able to loosen their ropes. They cram into the top of steps but the door is locked.
Liz figures out that Nancy is the mystery cheerleader and goes to talk to her. She figures out that something is very wrong but instead of running away she confronts Nancy and ends up in the basement with everyone else. And of course, she tells no one where she is going so no one looks for her. And everyone thinks that the cheerleaders are partying somewhere, so no one looks for them. I guess this is a problem when you are flaky and irresponsible, you can get kidnapped and everyone just assumes that you are skipping school.
Liz comes up with the great idea to start using the old SVH cheers. They get Nancy’s attention and the girl start pretending to be old cheerleaders. They tell her that George is there and he loves her. Nancy opens the door and the water rushes out and the girls are free.
The media is all here and Brad gets in trouble for flirting instead of taking pictures. He does have a great line though to Elizabeth, “In some cultures, it’s acceptable for a man to court and even marry two sisters. There’s this island in the Pacific…” Hee.
Todd and Liz make up. Boo
The Wakefields talk together afterward. We found out that Nancy will be looked up in the mental institution. The Wakefields are insensitive bastards and laugh about the experience. We end the book with Mr. Wakefield laughing about the girls’ new water phobia. Ha ha.
The book never explained if Nancy was crazy since her boyfriend died or had a breakdown, recovered and then was set off by being involved in cheerleading again. I would think that if she had a been mentally ill since 76, someone would have noticed and she wouldn’t have been able to go to college and library school. So I guess she was just mildly crazy with her shy ways and 70s clothes and then lost it again.
The book starts with the entire Sweet Valley cheerleading squad trapped in the basement slowly drowning in a rising tide of water. Everyone is crying and freaking out and Jess is berating herself for being too stupid to have seen the signs that landed them here.
Jessica and the other cheerleader are practicing in a field and Jess and Heather, the other co-captain are bitching back and forth to each other. I’ve gathered that the book is happening after the Pom-Pom wars but I’m not sure how far after. But Jess and Heather hate each other’s guts and their bickering gets on everyone’s nerves. The girls start talking about their bfs and Jess says that she is happy to date around. Luckily for her she sees a cute guy with a camera walking down the field and start doing fancy cheerleading moves to catch his eye. Unfortunately, Heather has the same idea and both think they look sexy cart wheeling around. I bet they look stupid but nobody asked me.
Meanwhile Liz is in the office of Chrome Dome Cooper. She finds out that the photographer is named Brad and he is with Diane, a reporter from a national magazine. They doing a where on you now feature of the cheerleaders of 76 who won the national comp 20 years before the current squad. Diane was on the squad. Liz asked to help research and she is immediately thrilled, though put off by Brad who is all sleazy and flirty. We are reminded in this chapter that Liz is a perfect saint while Jess is a thoughtless skank.
Liz goes to the library and finds the assistant librarian, Nancy Swanson. Liz likes her even though she think she is a shy weirdo who only dresses in 70s style and listens to 70s music. Has anyone ever noticed that while Liz is oh so nice and likes everyone, she still manages all of their terrible flaws? Liz gets a great idea though, Jess was bitching that the squad has to get a staff advisor and Miss Swanson would be perfect. The squad agrees because she is quiet and won’t get in their way.
Liz is deep in her research for the article. Todd gets pissy because she won’t stop for lunch and they have a big fight. Dump him Liz, he’s a douche who gets mad whenever you aren’t completely devoted to him.
We found out that Nancy lives in house decorated in the 70s style. We also found out that she suffers from pounding noises in her head. This is favorite sign of the ghostwriters that someone is disturbed, I believe Margo suffered from the same thing. The pounding began after the first cheerleading practice.
Jess is dating Brad despite Liz’s warnings that he is sleeze.
Liz founds out that there was a mystery cheerleader on the 76 squad who no one wants to talk about.
The cheerleaders start thinking that Nancy is really cool, but sadly she is getting more bat shit. She paces the house and remembers how she begin to have spasms in her face. (No one ever says Tourettes in book but I’m assuming that is what she had. Probably didn’t want to get mail from people complaining about the stereotype people with Tourettes are crazy). She remembers that it started when she was a cheerleader and the other girls drove her from the squad because they thought she was a freak. While she is remembering, she starts mixing up cheerleaders of the past with the cheerleaders of today. This is a bad sign.
Weird toss away line. Todd comes into the newspaper room to drop something off for John Pfeifer. As in John Pfeifer the RAPIST. We are supposed to believe that after everyone found out he is a rapist, Liz would keep working with him on the paper. Or that Lila’s dad wouldn’t have hired a killer. Lame.
It seemed that Nancy was only mildly crazy but then we find out she is full on nuts because she has two kidnapped cheerleaders in her basement. Nancy is all happy and relaxed now that she is starting to get revenge though she does get mad when the girls cry loudly. The girls’ mom does call Jess to see where their daughters are but Jess is getting ready for a date and doesn’t care that her friends might be missing.
We find out that Nancy has caught two more girls. And she remembers more about how the girls didn’t want her on the squad. And the meanest mean girl of all, tried to steal her boyfriend, George. George tells Nancy that he was just trying to help her by making out with Loretta, which she is dumb enough to believe. But then she sees George in Loretta’s gold Camero. Oh noes.
Liz visits Loretta’s sister, Gina, with Diane and Brad. Gina tells them that her sister had been in a car accident with a guy named George and George died. The mystery cheerleader showed up at their house and blamed Loretta. After graduation, Loretta drank a bottle of vodka and went swimming in the quarry and that was the end of Loretta. Two problems with this scene. Diane doesn’t remember the accident and never found out about Loretta’s death. Either Diane is a real self absorbed bitch or the writers are so lame that they couldn’t think of a reason for Diane not to know this info. And everyone thinks that mystery girl is a big meanie for blaming Loretta for George’s death but it was her fault. And of course Liz has a big traumatic flashback to Sam’s death and how everyone thought it was her fault, which it kinda was.
Jess finds out that more of her friends are missing but instead of being worried, is pissed because she thinks they are having a big party without her.
Jess then decides to lie and tell her parents that she will be hanging out with the cheerleaders and go out with Brad instead. Sadly, Nancy is outside to kidnap her and because of her lies, no one will notice she missing for a while.
Now all of the cheerleaders are in the basement, wet, cold and tied up. Nancy comes down occasionally to freak out and call them the old cheerleaders’ names. They try to reason with her but nothing doing. Jessica does have an epiphany that she is a mean girl like the other cheerleaders. She decides that she will be nice to everyone now, a vow I’m sure she will keep. Everyone think that Nancy is going to shot them but it turns out she was getting gags for them. Useless since they all spit them out five minutes later. Lila is horrified that polyester touched her precious skin. The water is getting deeper but somehow the girls are able to loosen their ropes. They cram into the top of steps but the door is locked.
Liz figures out that Nancy is the mystery cheerleader and goes to talk to her. She figures out that something is very wrong but instead of running away she confronts Nancy and ends up in the basement with everyone else. And of course, she tells no one where she is going so no one looks for her. And everyone thinks that the cheerleaders are partying somewhere, so no one looks for them. I guess this is a problem when you are flaky and irresponsible, you can get kidnapped and everyone just assumes that you are skipping school.
Liz comes up with the great idea to start using the old SVH cheers. They get Nancy’s attention and the girl start pretending to be old cheerleaders. They tell her that George is there and he loves her. Nancy opens the door and the water rushes out and the girls are free.
The media is all here and Brad gets in trouble for flirting instead of taking pictures. He does have a great line though to Elizabeth, “In some cultures, it’s acceptable for a man to court and even marry two sisters. There’s this island in the Pacific…” Hee.
Todd and Liz make up. Boo
The Wakefields talk together afterward. We found out that Nancy will be looked up in the mental institution. The Wakefields are insensitive bastards and laugh about the experience. We end the book with Mr. Wakefield laughing about the girls’ new water phobia. Ha ha.
The book never explained if Nancy was crazy since her boyfriend died or had a breakdown, recovered and then was set off by being involved in cheerleading again. I would think that if she had a been mentally ill since 76, someone would have noticed and she wouldn’t have been able to go to college and library school. So I guess she was just mildly crazy with her shy ways and 70s clothes and then lost it again.